Episode: 4
"Rei Strikes!"
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Unit-03's entry plug… grab it… crush it…
LCL all over my hand… Toji's blood?
Kaworu in my hand… squeeze him… crush him…
His blood… all over my hand…
Asuka, unconscious…grab it… squeeze it…
It's all over my hand…
Rei's straddling me… we're naked…
I'm straddling Asuka… I'm choking her…
I hate Asuka! I hate her because I love her…
I love her, but she doesn't love me…
I love Rei, but she loves someone else…
I love Misato, but I can't have her…
I love Kaworu BUT I KILLED HIM!
Make it stop! (pain) Make it stop! (death) Make it stop! (shame) Make it stop! (desire) Make it stop! (jealousy) Make it stop! (fear) Make it stop! (hope) Make it stop! (hate) Make it stop! (lust) Make it stop! (anguish) Make it stop! (ecstasy) Make it stop! (sorrow) Make it stop!
Someone, please make it stop!
"You will…." Kaworu?
Shinji wakes from the nightmare in a cold sweat, immediately sensing a change in his environment. No one is sleeping on the floor. The sleeping bag itself is also gone. And somewhere in the apartment, Misato is yelling angrily.
"I don't care!" he hears Misato screaming. "If you can't give me the names of who was supposed to be watching the pilots last night, connect me with someone who can…! Don't you dare tell me that Section 2 personnel records are classified, when one of my pilots got the shit beat out of him! I'm going to have their asses, and I'll have yours too, if you don't give me some answers! And don't put me on… hold. You bitch!"
Wow, Shinji thinks, rubbing his chin, it was just a little bruise.
Peeking into the kitchen, he sees Misato slamming down the phone. Yoshi is there, too, sitting at the table. He wears a concerned frown, looking even more pensive than usual. Shinji stays in the hallway, watching them as they talk.
"I appreciate it, but you didn't have to come over," Misato says to Yoshi. "I just called you on an impulse. You seem to have a really good rapport with all of the kids, and I didn't know what else to do."
"It's okay," he says. "I was already planning to drop by. I thought I should apologize in person, for giving you the wrong impression about last night."
"Wrong impression?" Misato asks innocently, while blushing guiltily.
"Yeah," says Yoshi scratching his head. Misato just bats her eyes, trying to appear ignorant. "Well, never mind, I guess…. So, on the phone, you said something was wrong with Kaagi?"
"Well, earlier this morning, I woke up to the sound of him packing. He got beaten up last night, really bad. But all he would tell me was that he "got mugged", which was obviously a lie, and that he was moving out. The Vice-Commander called, too, just before Kaagi left. He told me that Kaagi's slated to go on tomorrow's mission now, in place of Asuka. I told Kaagi, and he just got more depressed."
"I would say to just give him some space, some time to cool off, and let him talk when he's ready. But if he's leaving tomorrow… I just don't know. Where is he staying in the meantime?"
"He's going to the apartment in the Geo-front where Shinji was supposed to live, before I insisted he move in here."
"That's also where the Fifth Child stayed, isn't it?" Yoshi asks. Misato nods.
No! Shinji thinks. He can't have that room… sleep in that bed! His indignation swells, knowing that the room… the bed… should have been his to sleep in, not Kaagi's. He's not ready to admit to himself that he wants it all the more for Kaworu having been there. But still, the thought of Kaagi's hairy body sullying the place where Kaworu slept makes Shinji feel ill.
"I've been wondering about the Fifth," Yoshi says. "Kaagi's been asking to run a combat sim against the 17th Angel, but my clearance isn't high enough to access any record pertaining to it or the Fifth Child. All I know is that the Fifth Child died somehow during the attack."
"You don't know the whole story?" Misato asks quietly.
"Nope. Only the people who were actually there know what happened. It's all sealed, like I said."
That makes sense, thinks Misato. The general public still doesn't know exactly what it is that's been attacking us, or that we call them "Angels". And after the 14th Angel's attack, we were running a skeleton crew while the Command Center was being repaired. So, even a lot of our people don't know what really happened with Kaworu. All these secrets upon secrets…. And I just thought no one ever talked about Kaworu out of respect for Shinji….
"Shinji!" Misato exclaims. She'd only just noticed him standing there.
"Morning, Shinji," says Yoshi, but the teen in the hallway doesn't reply.
"I'm glad you're finally up," says Misato. "I wanted to ask you about Kaagi."
"Why would I know anything?" Shinji asks angrily. Misato is taken aback by his harsh response, which continues just as startlingly. "Are you accusing me…? I didn't do anything to him, not a damned thing! Just… just leave me alone!"
She doesn't care about my feelings! he thinks, storming back to his room. He knows he was unkind, but that doesn't matter to him right now. She never gave a damn about Kaworu! Why the hell should I care how she feels?
"What was that?" whispers Misato, trying to hide the fact that Shinji's words hurt her.
"I don't know," admits Yoshi. "But something's going on. If you want, I can try to pull him and Kaagi off tomorrow's mission. Maybe we can sort this out."
"No, I'm sure they'd like to get out of Tokyo-3 for a change," Misato lies. The only thing she's really sure of is that she's out of her depth, and she wouldn't mind putting off dealing with it as long as possible. "The trip might do them good."
"It's your call," Yoshi says. "You're their guardian." Misato wonders if he added the last part just to make her feel guilty.
In his room, Shinji's ringing cell phone disturbs his brooding. He answers, and is shocked by the voice on the other end.
"Shinji," says his father, "I need you to meet me this afternoon at three o'clock. The usual place."
"All… all right," Shinji answers. The line clicks, and then is silent. Shinji lies back on his bed, trying to imagine any possible reason his father could have for wanting to meet with him. Outside his room, Asuka Langely Soryu goes walking by.
A deceptively cheery, though always aloof Asuka strides into the kitchen, causing Misato more confusion.
Did someone switch all their brains last night? she wonders. Kaagi's depressed, Shinji's sniping, and Asuka's carefree…. I'm scared enough by their behavior, but not knowing why they're acting this way is worse.
"Good morning, Misato," Asuka says brightly, "and you too, Dr. Kaiu."
There was once a time when she'd have found Yoshi attractive, and vied for his attention. After Kaji's unexplained disappearance, however, she'd been put off the thought of older men. She'd felt abandoned, like before, with her mother. And now, the thought of the young men who both abandoned her last night makes her burn with anger. But she keeps all her real emotions off her face with her well-worn mask of arrogance.
That mask had been torn off, when she gave in to the desire to open up to Kaagi. Awaking this morning, though, it was back, only slightly askew. But then she noticed the telltale signs of her encounter with Kaagi, in the form of red welts on her neck from his sucking. Knowing that she'd achieved her vindictive goal, the mask had slipped perfectly back into place.
She would not cry again.
But as for Rei… tomorrow, Asuka would see what could be done about that.
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"Why have you not returned to us… to me?"
A hand strokes the curved glass that makes up the majority of the circular room's wall. Behind the glass, yellow liquid bubbles. The man who spoke frowns sadly at the things floating in the liquid. A casual observer might not call them "things", but the man knows better.
"More importantly, where have you gone?" he asks aloud. His hand wavers over the remote control he holds. With one press of a button, he could destroy them all, reducing them to the raw matter from which they were formed. But he can't. While their continued existence is a testament to his failure, to destroy them would be to admit defeat.
"While there is life, there is hope," he says, locking out the controls on the remote. The lights in the holding-tank shut down, hiding endless identical faces. The door to the room opens, and the man exits.
"Chairman Kiel," an aide calls, rushing up to him. "The Committee has called an emergency meeting."
"Regarding?" Kiel asks, heading to his office.
"The Lance Retrieval mission," says the aide. "Some of the Committee members are questioning the involvement of Ikari…."
"Their protests were expected," Kiel says, "but this late…? The Project commences tomorrow."
"I understand, sir."
"No, you don't," Kiel says matter-of-factly. The aide stops, and the Chairman enters his office alone.
At his desk, Kiel opens a global communication channel. The channel is secret, encoded, and unable to be tapped. And unlike the many other virtual conferences he conducts daily, he expects these security features to actually work. The black monoliths appear around him, one by one. He feels almost Arthurian, presiding over this circle of his assembled contingents.
"There is unrest in the Committee," SEELE 04 begins immediately. "Your involving Ikari in the Lance Retrieval Project is questionable at best. Especially after releasing both the Fifth and Sixth Children to him…"
"Sending Kaworu to NERV was a calculated risk," Kiel states.
"One we have paid dearly for," 06 adds.
"Sending the newly acquired Sixth Child to Ikari to spur his cooperation in the Retrieval mission was another," Kiel continues. "But we have yet to see the fruits of it. May I remind you all that these decisions were reached by unanimous vote? "Unrest", as you call it, at this stage is unacceptable."
"Perhaps we are being premature," interjects 05. "When the Lance is returned-"
"If the Lance is returned," interrupts 03.
"Indeed," adds 07. "And even so, what is to stop Ikari from using it again?"
"We have Ikari in check," Kiel assures them. "The next move is his. And he would not dare move against us."
As the Committee continues to argue, an additional monolith appears in the center of their circle. The unexpected arrival brings a hush to the meeting room. The new monolith reads simply: Sound Only, Source Unknown.
"Well, gentlemen, if I may interrupt this discussion about your Lance problems…," says a female voice, obviously amused by her own double entendre. "…I would like to table a motion."
"Who are you?" Kiel asks. A long political career saves him from expressing shock or outrage.
"I move," she continues, ignoring the question, "that all of you are full of crap. Anyone second that?"
The intruder's monolith basks in the ensuing silence.
"I liked the chess metaphor, Mr. Chairman, I really did," she says. "It clearly illustrates that you don't even know what game you're playing. This is a card game. You bluffed the last hand, and you lost your shirts. Now, Ikari holds all the cards… except mine. And mine trumps them all. Care to deal me in?"
"What could you possibly have to offer that we would want?" Kiel asks, while initiating a trace on the signal.
The answer makes Kiel halt the trace, and smile broadly.
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A few of NERV's staff turn and stare as Kaagi Chuda drags his tired body past them through the hallways of the HQ. He ignores their bemused looks, trudging grimly onward to his destination. He carries his sleeping bag under one arm, and his duffel bag in his opposite hand. He'd spent the whole night on Misato's couch, barely able to sleep, and so he's only barely awake now.
Dark thoughts of hurting Shinji still shadow him, as they had since he went into their room to gather his things. But to attack Shinji while he slept would be as cowardly as Shinji sending his father to fight for him. And Kaagi refused to act like a coward, especially after the Commander had called him one.
The area where his new apartment lies seems like an architectural afterthought. It's conveniently close to the plug-boarding rooms, but it's not near, or on the way, to anything else. Opening the door with his key-card, only blackness greets him. That, and a peculiar smell, not normally associated with a place that had been lived in.
Kaagi enters, but before he can find the light-switch, he's grabbed around the neck in a firm headlock. His belongings fall where he stands. Exhausted and already beaten, he goes limp as he's dragged further inside. He's taken to an adjoining room, where computer banks and instrument panels provide the only illumination.
"We've got a visitor!" he hears a man's voice shout. It's coming from the person holding him. The grip around his throat eases, and he drops to the floor. Swiftly, his hair is grabbed and something cold and metal is pressed against the back of his neck. To Kaagi, this all feels like some darkly comic nightmare, and he wonders with nonchalance if what he feels is a gun.
"There's no way SEELE could've traced my signal!" he hears a woman reply. "And get some lights on…! If someone's already found us, we don't need to be frugal about power consumption anymore, do we?"
That voice…, Kaagi thinks. This can't be real…
Suddenly, bright lights flood the room, banishing the darkness. Kaagi shuts his unadjusted eyes to protect them from the glare. When he opens them, all he can see is the floor, as the man holding his hair has forced his head down.
"Oh my God… put the gun away!" the woman orders. Kaagi doesn't know what she means when she adds, "I'll cover up the cylinder… he doesn't need to see that."
Kaagi feels the metal object reluctantly removed. He senses someone approach from his front, smack away the hand that holds his hair, and then kneel down to embrace him. He recognizes the smell of her, and the way her arms wrap around him. Now he's sure that the voice was hers, and not some trick of his mind. Relief washes over him, and he can't stop himself from crying.
"Shhh," she says, "it's all right now…. But… can you tell me what happened to you? Why are you here in the Geo-front?"
"I moved out of Misato's this morning," Kaagi says as he chokes back sobs. "I can't…. It's all Shinji's fault…!" The woman strokes his head, but the man with the gun eyes Kaagi warily. Eventually, Kaagi stops crying, but he's still holding onto the woman tightly. She kisses his head, then looks up.
"Can we trust him to keep our presence here a secret?" the man asks bluntly. "He is one of the pilots." The woman nods.
"He's also my brother," she reminds him.
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Ikari Yui, 1977-2004.
Shinji reads the words and numbers, over and over, wondering how they could be all that's left to mark his mother's existence. He hasn't much time to stand and wonder, though. A NERV transport helicopter has already begun its slow descent behind him.
Why am I here? he asks himself as his father approaches. All he had to do was call, and I came. No questions, no arguments, just like I always have. I guess… I guess I'm just used to it. No matter what I do, he's always going to treat me the same. And I'm going to keep letting him, because I can't let go of the hope that one day, things will change.
"You're probably wondering why I've called you here," Gendo Ikari says to his son.
No, Shinji realizes, I'm not. But he just continues looking at his mother's marker.
"I need your help," Gendo says, surprising him. Shinji turns to look at his father, whose narrowed eyes glare intently at the marker in front of him. "We need your help."
"We…?" Shinji asks.
"I must ask to do something," Gendo says. "A secret task, which is why I've brought you here, where we won't be heard…. When you go to the moon to recover the Lance of Longinus, you will be instructed to return with it to the lunar landing vessel. Instead, I want you to hurl it into space, away from the Earth."
"But… the Lance is what saved Asuka! You want me to just get rid of it?" Shinji can't believe he's talking like this, out loud. He remembers shouting at Misato in much the same way, just this morning.
"If you refuse, I can replace you, as I replaced the Second Child with the Sixth," Gendo tells him. "I don't expect you to want to do this. I know you don't pilot the Evangelion willingly. And that is because you foolishly allow your personal feelings about me to affect your motivations. But I am not making this request only for me."
Shinji understands now that privacy wasn't the only reason his father summoned him here. Though Gendo hasn't said it directly, Shinji can tell whom else that this "something" is for. It's odd to him that he can know his father's thoughts like this, but still not feel he knows the man. It frightens him a little, too, because it might mean that he's becoming more like his father
Why am I questioning him now? Shinji wonders. And why did I yell at Misato this morning? Is it because it's easier? I hate Kaagi, so I don't care what he thinks about me. I hate my father, too. And I was so mad at Misato…. Is that where this path is leading me? If I don't care what anyone thinks, they can't hurt me… but won't that make me just like my father…?
He feels like a helpless child, and he knows that's how his father sees him. But he also knows he must make a decision.
"I won't do it," Shinji says, staring hard at his mother's marker. "Not for you. But I'll do it for her." He hopes, for a split second, that this token act of defiance will bring him respect in his father's eyes. But Gendo Ikari's eyes remain empty and hard.
"As long as it's done," Gendo says, walking back to the chopper. Shinji catches a glimpse of Rei in the helicopter window, like the last time he visited his mother's grave. She looks, and somehow feels, more distant to him than the last time. She's barely visible through the clouds of sand that the rotors are kicking up. Soon, the transport ascends, taking Rei and his father away.
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The next morning, dawn is barely breaking on the horizon as Shinji stands next to a barren airstrip. Misato had dropped him off a few minutes ago, then left quickly. No words had passed between them. Not since his outburst yesterday morning. It was just like after Kaworu's death, all over again. Neither knew what to say to the other, and they allowed their silent guilt to fill the air instead of words.
A private jet sits idling out on the tarmac, awaiting its passengers. After a few more minutes, Kaagi comes jogging up to join Shinji. The normally boisterous young man looks dourly forward at the plane and not at all at Shinji.
He wasn't hurt that badly, Shinji thinks pettily as he looks Kaagi up and down. He notices that Kaagi's glasses are a different pair than the ones he usually wears, and wonders if the others had been lost in the attack.
"Are you looking at my neck?" Kaagi asks defensively. Shinji hadn't been, but he now notices the red welts on the other boy's neck.
"How did you get those?" Shinji asks. He truly doesn't know, but his only motivation for asking is to further upset Kaagi.
"I'm allergic to chicken-shit cowards," Kaagi says. With sarcastic a smirk, he adds, "I wonder what could be causing the flare-up?" Shinji doesn't fully understand and is at a loss for a comeback, but the jet's stairs are starting to lower anyway.
Once Kaagi and Shinji are aboard and seated, the plane lifts off. As it flies into the rising sun toward America, the two boys sit marinating in resentment. The close quarters, coupled with the long journey, will turn the situation into a veritable pressure-cooker of animosity. And, left unchecked, things are bound to explode.
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"So, did you kiss her?" Kensuke asks Toji.
They had arrived before nearly everyone else, and are in their seats as the rest of the class begins filing in. Rei was here before them, though. There's already a pencil in her hand, but she's staring out the window, as she usually does before the teacher arrives. If Toji didn't think he knew better, he might notice sadness on her face, instead of the usual apathy.
"Ayanami isn't missing as much school as she used to," Toji observes. "In fact, she hasn't been absent at all."
"Of course she has!" argues Kensuke, making a mental note to re-ask his question. "You didn't notice because you were gone all the same days as her."
"Oh yeah…," says Toji.
"So, did you kiss her?" Kensuke goads once more.
"I've never kissed Ayanami!" Toji says, looking scandalized.
"Not her!" exclaims an exasperated Kensuke. "I mean Hikari!"
"A gentleman doesn't discuss such things," Toji says snootily. Kensuke frowns in deep disappointment. He stews at his desk a moment before turning back to talk to Toji again.
"So you didn't kiss her," he ventures.
"I never said that."
"So you did kiss her!"
"Argh! It was just a little peck! Why do you have to go and make such a big deal about it?" Toji notices that he'd spoken louder than he'd meant to. He thanks his luck that neither Hikari nor Asuka have arrived yet, but a group of tittering girls huddled together causes him to sink very low in his seat. "Remind me to pound you!"
Moments later, Asuka and Hikari do walk in. The brown-haired girl keeps her distance as her firey-maned companion zeros in on the quiet girl by the window. It surprises Toji to feel his heart flutter when he notices Hikari standing by the classroom door. And it's also new for him to be able to tell just by looking at her that she's upset.
Please don't do this, Asuka, she thinks. Hikari had actually spoken those words aloud in the hall, when Asuka had shared the tale and the evidence of her encounter with Kaagi. But she wouldn't be dissuaded. It was more than just about hurting Rei, now. Asuka felt this was the only way to reclaim the piece of her heart that she'd accidentally given to Kaagi.
"Hey, Wonder Girl!" Asuka says loudly, walking over to Rei. "I've been meaning to ask… did you have a good time on Saturday? And… do you think Kaagi had a good time, too…? I mean… you either didn't kiss him, or did it really badly. Otherwise, why would he have been kissing me after he walked you home?" Rei looks up impassively.
I want to slap her face, Rei thinks, for questioning Kaagi's integrity. But is that because I'm afraid that she's telling the truth? And… is that why I slapped Shinji, all those months ago? Deep down, did I know there was truth in what he said about his father?
"Come on, First Child," Asuka taunts, "I know you're not that quick, but even you must know it wasn't Shinji who gave me these." She pulls down her collar, as if the marks on her neck weren't already showing. Her euphoria grows as she sees Rei's calm veneer begin to crack. By now, the whole class is watching this exchange.
In Rei's peripheral vision, all the onlookers look like Kaworu, smiling lasciviously. Her head fills with memories of violence, spurred by her recollection of slapping Shinji. She recalls sending the Lance through the heart of the 15th Angel. She recalls splitting open the core of the 18th. She recalls blasting away at the snake-like body of the 16th.
How can I remember that? I died… She recalls snapping the neck of the 13th, tearing it limb from limb and bathing the city in blood. No! That wasn't me! She recalls a slap across her own face, weeks ago in an elevator, that went unanswered…. Then, with a determined look normally reserved for stalking Angels, Rei rises from her desk.
"Retract your statements," she tells Asuka evenly. The Second Child balks.
"Well, if you don't believe me, you can ask Kaagi," she says. Asuka can tell, after all this time, she's finally gotten under Rei's skin. She almost doesn't feel ready for her success, but she's gone too far to back down now. "Oh, and while you're at it… you can ask him if he likes kissing me better than he likes kissing a robot like you."
Rei takes a deep breath.
The pencil in her hand snaps in two.
She lets the breath out… as a scream.
The force with which Rei throws herself at Asuka sends them both crashing to the floor. They wrestle, clawing and kicking, with Rei trying to get her fingers around Asuka's throat. Asuka herself pulls no punches in fending Rei off, even throwing a few offensively when possible. The rest of the students just stare, rapt in horrified fascination. Most of them do, at least.
"Stop it!" Hikari commands fruitlessly. Tears run down her frustrated face. They aren't tears for either girl, however, but rather tears for the demise of order in her classroom. And they're tears that Toji won't allow to continue. He stands, and moves to break up the fight.
With her adrenaline ebbing, Asuka feels fear creep into her. She's been screaming, obscenities and unintelligibly, all throughout the fight. But, eerily, Rei hasn't made a sound since her first battle cry, not even when Asuka's nails had drawn blood from her cheek. Desperately, she tries to disentangle her limbs from Rei's in order to stand. Rei stands as well, though. A look of pure hatred contorts her face as she draws her arm back to deliver a devastating punch to an off-balance Asuka.
There's a wet cracking sound as Rei's elbow collides with Toji's nose, behind her. His forward momentum carries his legs out from under him and he falls back, hitting his head on a desk and landing unconscious on the floor. Blood pours from his nose as Rei and Asuka stare, wide-eyed, at the carnage.
"Good shot…," Asuka says numbly.
"Thank you…," Rei replies, snapping out of her bloodlust.
"Somebody, get the nurse!" screams Hikari, running to Toji's side. A couple of kids run out, just as the teacher comes walking in.
"What in blazes is going on here?" he shouts.
An hour later, Rei and Asuka are still waiting outside the principal's office.
Neither has spoken in all this time. Asuka just keeps staring daggers at Rei, while Rei only stares at the floor. Suddenly, Misato comes marching down the hall toward them. She opens her mouth to speak, but whatever she intended to say is replaced by a more immediate question.
"What the hell happened to you two?" she yells. In front of her, Asuka and Rei stand, scratched and bruised. Their uniforms are torn in places and smudged with dirt. For the most part, they're free of bloodstains.
"That bitch attacked me!" hisses Asuka, oozing venom. Misato looks to Rei for a denial, but she doesn't get one. She'd thought, apparently wrongly, that she'd already reached her quota of pilots acting bizarrely today. And there's only one left.
"So where's Toji?" Misato asks.
"She knocked him out cold!" Asuka answers. She ignores Rei muttering "it was an accident" and keeps talking. "Didn't the principal tell you all this when he called you down here?"
"The principal didn't call me," Misato explains gravely. "I came to get you because there's another Angel on the way."
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Episode Midpoint