Episode: 5
"Remember the Fallen"
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Shinji opens his eyes, and the inky blackness of unconsciousness is replaced by blinding white. It surprises him how quickly his eyes adjust, and how quickly he climbs to his feet. He almost can't remember going through the motions to bring himself from lying down, seconds ago, to standing.
The landscape is shrouded in mists. He can't feel what type of ground is underneath his feet, though he assumes it's a swamp of some kind. He can't fathom any other type of place being this foggy. But looking down only shows him more swirling mists.
"Hello, is anyone there?" he calls out.
His voice flies out into the void. There's no echo, nor does he notice any ambient sound. His voice is all there was to be heard in this strange place. No answer returns to him, either.
Am I dead? he wonders. His voice inside his head sounds just as loud as when he spoke. It's uniquely disorienting. He can't tell if he'd only thought his first question, or accidentally spoken aloud his second.
He tries to remember… the space shuttle, the explosion… but they're just distorted reflections, ripples on the surface of his mind. Worse yet, he doesn't feel like he's looking down on them from above, but rather up from underneath, as if he's drowning in his own depths. And within those depths lie memories forgotten.
Unit-01 breaks through the hardened Bakelite around it, reaching out for me. Misato died bringing me here. She saved me, but I couldn't save her…. What's Maya screaming about Asuka?
I ascend the exit shaft, piloting my Evangelion. Somehow, I know this will be the (last?) time. The Geo-front lies exposed to the heavens. There's a hole where Toyko-3 should be. There's a hole where Asuka should be… a hole in the universe…and a hole in my heart. Nine white Evangelions tear apart the carcass of Unit-02, taking flight with their pieces of the kill.
It's my turn to kill, now… everyone will die…
Born to die, born to kill… I scream.
NO! he thinks, tearing himself from the vision. I don't want everyone to die! I'm not a killer!
"Yes, you are. But I forgive you, Shinji." A voice he thought he'd never hear again.
"Kaworu…."
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1999…
Yellow and orange leaves dance on the breeze as two women sit enjoying coffee at an outdoor café. It's a chilly autumn day, and one of the women turns up the collar on her lab-coat to shield her neck from the wind. Her elder companion smiles, shakes her head, and takes another sip of coffee.
"I told you not to cut your hair, Kyoko," she chides playfully. "I liked it better long."
"It was impractical," Kyoko answers. With a laugh, she smiles back across the table, her blue eyes sparkling. She runs a hand through her short, red hair. Naoko Akagi meets her friend's gaze, only to have her look slowly away.
"What's bothering you?" Naoko asks, putting her cup down. "We usually work straight through our breaks. Not that I didn't love it when you asked me out for coffee… but you never have before."
"I'm sorry I haven't before," Kyoko says earnestly. "And I'm sorry for why I finally chose to now."
"What is it?" asks Naoko. She reaches across the table to grasp Kyoko's hand comfortingly. The younger woman makes a show of trying to pull away, but still allows her hand to be taken.
"I had another miscarriage," Kyoko admits quietly. Naoko frowns and nods. She knows all too well about the plight of her young lab assistant. Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu has been trying and failing to get pregnant for some time now.
"I think…," Kyoko starts again, "…I think my husband might leave me over this."
"If he does, you're better off without him," Naoko says bitterly. Kyoko gives her a wry smile. She's always admired her friend's frankness.
"It would be funny if it weren't so tragic, you know? I always hated how my gruff, German father made my mother a virtual slave. But, being a proper Japanese lady, she took everything without complaint. So, clever me, I only dated Japanese men, to avoid my mother's fate…"
"Only to discover that men are men, the world over," Naoko says wistfully.
"Ja," says Kyoko. Her small smile fades as her bottom lip starts to quiver. "But I can't blame him, really. He just wants a baby so badly…. It's not his fault I can't keep one."
"It's not your fault, either!" snaps Naoko.
"I know," she says. "So… I thought you could help me."
"Oh, Kyoko…," the elder woman says sadly. She should have seen this coming, even before an unprecedented invitation to coffee. "You know I can't. All our resources are devoted to Project E. They have been since you joined."
"I know, but… I want to save my marriage, Naoko. A baby could do that. I got into our field to help women like me, who can't get pregnant. I thought that's why you did, too. But that was before Project E took over your life."
"I won't give you one of the pilots, Kyoko, if that's what you're asking," Naoko says sternly.
"Please!" Kyoko says. She's trying not to make a scene, but her eyes are wet with tears. "If you could promise me that, I'd have something to look forward to. That phase of the project doesn't even start until next year. It would keep my husband happy in the mean time… and maybe, with all the pressure off, I could successfully conceive on my own!"
"Damn it, I can't make that promise! Those children will be cursed. SEELE will own them, body and soul, and I won't let that happen to a child of yours."
"Without your help, there won't be any child of mine," the young woman says. Naoko can see the despair smothering her friend and beating her down. She looks so frail, so much older than her twenty-five years, that it breaks Naoko's heart.
"I will help you, Kyoko," she vows. "But I'll find another way…."
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2016, yesterday morning…
Asuka Langley Soryu rubs her eyes, then takes a second look at the girl staring back at her from the mirror. With a sigh, she finds the result to be the same as the first. She still looks like hell. Her eyes are bloodshot with dark rings beneath them. Her posture is hunched, and her hair looks like a fright-wig. As if she had a choice, she vows to never go without sleep again.
Last night, she'd gone to the video store on her way back from school. She'd come home a little later than usual to find Misato drunker than she'd ever seen her before. Then Misato had told her that Shinji and Kaagi were dead. After that, Asuka had made dinner.
Once Misato had been fed and put down for the night, Asuka had tried to watch one of the movies she'd rented, but the weeping from Misato's bedroom was too distracting. She'd gone to her own bedroom, cracked open a textbook, and begun to study. After a couple hours of that, she'd decided to go to sleep herself, but sleep did not come easily.
Errant thoughts had run in and out of her head all night. She thought about how it had almost been her instead of Kaagi on that shuttle. It had occurred to her that Kaagi could have his own room, now that Shinji was dead… except that Kaagi was dead, too. She'd wondered what mementos she'd like to keep of theirs, or what ones they'd have liked her to have. She'd wondered if they'd know it was coming, or if they'd felt any pain.
By about 3 o'clock in the morning, she'd resorted to trying to cry in order to get to sleep. It seemed to her like the only thing she had yet to resolve, and she remembered, in spite of her promise to herself to not cry again, how good it had felt to do it after Kaagi had walked out on her. So she'd purposely thought about all the good times she'd had with both boys. It was a short string of recollections, but she played them over and over, trying to squeeze some emotion out of herself. It was slightly scary to be unsuccessful. Asuka aspires to be cold and unfeeling, in order to shut out the pain, but only on her terms.
A knock at her door brings her back from last night to the present, though lack of sleep is significantly blurring the distinction between those two time periods. She's in no mood to face Misato, but the frustratingly Japanese lack of locks means she won't have a choice, regardless. Rather than fight it, she grumbles permission to come in.
"Oh, wow!" exclaims a surprised Toji, finding Asuka standing in her underwear. She sees the boy in her mirror, then grabs a blanket off her bed, and turns to scream at him as she covers herself.
"Get out of here, Shinji, you sick pervert!" she yells. Toji just stands there, blinking. And Asuka realizes what she's said… that it's not Shinji… and that it will never be Shinji, ever again. That's when she starts to cry.
Toji doesn't know what to do, except to go over to her and hold her. He'd come here to offer condolences, but he never expected to find himself doing this. He hugs her tighter but she doesn't stop crying. Good intentions, and a half-naked girl in his arms, eventually get the better of his common sense, and he does the only other thing he can think of to make her feel better. Slowly, he leans down and kisses her.
So, this is what Hikari sees in him, Asuka thinks as they kiss. He really is compassionate. And… oh, holy shit, Hikari! She slaps Toji so hard that it hurts her hand. What the hell was I thinking?
"What the hell are you thinking?" she screams, backing away from him.
"I…," stammers Toji, "I don't know! Oh, crap…. Please don't tell Hikari."
"She won't have to," says Hikari, standing in the bedroom doorway. She lets the vase of flowers she's holding fall to the floor and spill its contents before turning stiffly and walking away.
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"Am I dreaming…? Or am I really dead…?" Shinji asks. He stares back across the mists at Kaworu in the distance. The pale boy with the light hair starts walking toward him, a hint of a smile on his face. It seems to take forever for him to cross the span between them, but when he arrives in front of Shinji, it feels like he's been there all along.
"Such abstractions are difficult to answer, especially here," Kaworu tells him.
"Can I… can I touch you?" Shinji asks. Kaworu closes his eyes, and he feels Shinji's fingers gently caress his cheek. Accidentally, Shinji's thumb brushes against his lips, and he laughs. Shinji jerks his hand back, embarrassed.
"Don't be ashamed," Kaworu says. He reaches out his own hand to Shinji's face, touching him in the same way. His thumb purposely alights on Shinji's lips, and he traces the outline of his mouth before pulling away again. But Shinji knows now that he doesn't want the contact to end.
Heedless, he rushes forward, throwing his arms around Kaworu. He presses his cheek against the other boy's, then the rest of his body, wrapping him in a firm embrace. Shinji smiles wider than he can remember when he feels Kaworu hug him back, just as tightly. He didn't realize how cold he'd felt, until he fell into Kaworu's warmth.
"I don't care if I'm dreaming," Shinji says. He looks into Kaworu's eyes with tears in his own. "I don't care if I'm dead! I just want to be with you. I…
"I love you, too, Kaworu. That's what I wanted to say in your room that night. I was afraid to tell you before, but I'm not now. I love you!"
"But you are still afraid, Shinji," says Kaworu. "You are afraid of others, and the pain they can cause you."
"I don't care about anyone else! If I don't care, they can't hurt me! All that matters is you. I love you and I know that you'll never hurt me."
"Do you mean "again"?" Kaworu asks, and Shinji remembers.
"You betrayed me! You betrayed the trust I placed in you!" Shinji remembers his own words.
"Your place is not here," Kaworu tells him. "It is not your time to die… not before you fulfill the destiny I have shown you."
"You mean… those horrible nightmares? You did that to me?"
"It was necessary for you to understand your role in the coming events." Kaworu tells him. "You must become one with Rei. She and I were made for you, Shinji. But I cannot be with you, now. You must go to her. I have… I will have… I am preparing her for you. Forgive me… time, here, is an abstraction as well."
"No!" Shinji cries. "Please, just let me stay with you, Kaworu!"
"You still have a home you can return to, Shinji. That is still a good fact."
Shinji feels his heart starting to break again. He hasn't let go of Kaworu, but he is no longer being held, and he misses it terribly. Never had he felt so much love returned in the touch of another, except in half-dreamed, half-remembered fantasies of his mother. He still doesn't want it to end.
Angrily, desperately, Shinji grabs Kaworu's face and kisses him. Painful pleasure sears him as Kaworu kisses back. Shinji can't remember if he was breathing before, but he certainly is now. He tries to breathe in all of Kaworu, and exhale his love back to him. It hadn't worked that night with Asuka, but he prays that it will now. He closes his eyes and tries to lose himself in the other boy. But Kaworu's kiss just feels like "goodbye".
The fog seems to lift from around him. He feels like he's breaking the watery surface of his mind that he'd been drowning in. And, as Shinji slowly opens his eyes, he's shocked to discover that the lips he's kissing are no longer Kaworu's.
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2016, yesterday afternoon…
I hope Asuka's not mad at me for leaving before she woke up this morning, Misato thinks. She sits at her desk, filling out long-overdue paperwork. Stacks of files and reports she's been meaning to read tower to her right, while the wet, bottom few files of that tower sit marinating at her left, next to an overturned coffee cup.
I don't even want to know what she thinks about me after last night, she thinks, putting another document in the miniscule "done" pile. There are about five messages from Yoshi on her phone, urging her in that heartfelt way of his to call back. But she's not going to talk to anyone about the tragedy until she's ready. That's how she deals with things like this.
Unfortunately, a summons from the Vice-Commander cannot be ignored. A glance at her clock shows her that she's expected soon. It hadn't seemed to her that Fuyutsuki had anything further to say, after his call last night. But no sooner had she walked into HQ this Saturday morning, than Lieutenant Hyuga had told her about the appointment.
Upon arriving, Misato strides across the office to the Vice-Commander's desk with a heavy heart. Behind the desk is a high-backed leather chair, facing away so as to hide whoever is seated there. The chair quickly swivels to face Misato, and she gapes at the person revealed in front of her.
"I've always wanted to do that," says the chair's smiling occupant. "I bought this chair especially, and the look on your face was worth every penny."
Seated at the desk, clad in the Vice-Commander's brown uniform, is Ritsuko Akagi.
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2016, three days ago…
Shinji watches the stars out the shuttle's window. They don't swish by, like some sci-fi movie. They're stationary and constant, not even twinkling, because that's the atmosphere's fault. He wonders if Asuka, Misato, or Rei are looking up at these same stars. He's not even sure if it's day or night in Japan right now.
"Hey, kid," one of the astronauts says, tapping him on the shoulder. "Where's the other kid?" Shinji looks up at the man, not comprehending.
"That's not the one that speaks English," another astronaut says. The first man who spoke looks around, annoyed.
"Crap," he says. "Are all the Nips except this one still back in the cargo bay with their robot?" The second astronaut shrugs.
"If they are, why don't you go and get them?" he replies. "It didn't matter where they were when we lifted off from the moon, but I'd like everyone up here for re-entry, in case there're any problems."
"Roger that." The first astronaut sets off, beginning his long trek through the massive spaceship. Unable to have followed any of the conversation, Shinji decides to get up and follow him back toward the cargo bay.
Meanwhile, Kaagi sits at the controls of Unit-07. His eyes are closed, and all his thoughts are of Rei. It feels like her, here inside the entry-plug, and that helps him to remember the happy parts of their last night together more vividly. He replays those memories in his head, trying to solidify them.
"Did you see the lights, as they fell all around you…? Did you hear the music, a serenade from the stars…?" He laughs at how appropriate the song is, given his current situation. He wonders if it's night in Japan, and if Rei might be looking up at the night sky right now, thinking about the same song. But then, he can't stop himself from also wondering if she isn't sharing the night with someone else, and looking up at the stars with some other boy.
"Hey, kid!" Kaagi hears someone shout in English. He's grateful to be wrenched out of his downward spiral into jealousy. "Where are you? Are you inside that thing?"
"Yeah," he says, switching on the Eva's external speakers.
"Well, we want all you guys back here to come up to the cockpit for re-entry. Those airmen are still back here somewhere, too. And your friend here followed me back when he didn't know what the hell I was saying to him."
"He's not my…. Yeah, okay. I'll get everybody and we'll head up front," Kaagi replies.
The astronaut starts to float back the way he came, leaving Shinji in the cargo bay. Shinji realizes it's only the second time he's heard Kaagi speak English before, except when he sings. And it isn't the same as when Asuka speaks German. She always seemed to turn into a completely different person. But Kaagi sounded the same, a little tired, a little condescending, a little pleased with himself. It grated on Shinji just as much, but at the same time, it made Kaagi seem more sincere, being the same person no matter what language he was speaking.
"Hey, Shinji," Kaagi says, reverting to Japanese. "The astronaut said he wants us all up front. Could you look for the Japanese crew members while I power-down Unit-07? They're still back here somewhere."
"Okay," Shinji says begrudgingly. The lengthy swim through zero-gravity to get here was difficult enough. Sighing, he heads further back, toward the massive generator to which the Eva is attached. Looking around, he calls out, "Um… is anybody back here? They… they want us to go up front."
After more grunting and pulling himself along, he rounds a corner, peers behind the generator, and screams. The airmen are floating before him, wearing blank stares of death. They're all hand-cuffed to outcroppings of the generator. Amidst the bodies, Shinji can see the generator's readouts and the warnings of an impending overload. He stumbles backward and starts spinning out of control.
"What's going on?" shouts Kaagi.
Shinji can think of no reply as he completely loses his bearings. Kaagi peers over the plug in the direction of Shinji's cry. He sees the Third Child spinning backward and upward, a look of absolute panic on his face.
"Calm down!" Kaagi calls out with irritation. Angered by Kaagi's impatience, Shinji steels himself. Upon reaching the roof of the chamber, he remembers his training and pushes off, straight toward the extended entry-plug where Kaagi stands.
"They're all dead! And they set the generator to overload!" Shinji yells at the Sixth Child. He grabs the lip of the plug's open hatchway to stop his forward motion. The color drains from Kaagi's face as he starts to understand what Shinji's statement means.
"They were terrorists?" he gasps.
"I don't know!" cries Shinji. "Maybe it was just one of them, and he killed the rest. But we have to do something! We have to stop it… or warn the astronauts… maybe they can stop it!"
"How much time before it blows?"
"I… I don't know…," Shinji replies. Kaagi pauses a second, grits his teeth, then grabs Shinji and pulls him into the plug. Shinji wrestles away and yells, "What are you doing?"
"We'll be safest in the Eva," Kaagi says, shutting the hatch. Shinji stares at him as Kaagi's eyes dart back and forth in thought. "If… if we're lucky… the explosion will hurl us back to Earth. The generator is behind us… and the ship is headed back there…. If we extend the Eva's wings after we break the atmosphere, we might be able to slow our descent…."
"What are you talking about?" Shinji screams. "We can't just let the other people on board die! We have to get out there and warn them!"
"If we leave the Eva we could die!" Kaagi yells back at him. "This thing could blow up at any second… you don't know! It takes five minutes just to space-walk up to the cockpit from here! We don't know if we have that kind of time! But, right now, we're as safe as we can be, and we might have a chance. Outside, we've got no chance."
"So, we just decide that the others have no chance?" Shinji asks, hoping to touch some nerve of guilt within Kaagi. Besides that, though, he can't think of an argument against the other boy's logic, as cruel as it might be. Shinji takes a hard look at the closed hatch, but he makes no move to open it.
After re-inserting the plug, they sit silently waiting for the inevitable. Eventually, Kaagi decides to speak.
"Look, I know you're probably in no mood to do me any favors," he says to Shinji. "But if for some reason, you make it through this and I don't… could you tell Rei that she was the last thing I was thinking about?" The fact that they may still die, brought harshly to light by Kaagi, finally draws out the question that has been bothering Shinji all week. He just couldn't admit to himself that he cares about the answer, until now.
"Why do you hate me?" he asks, and Kaagi sighs at this response.
"Fine, don't tell her," Kaagi says. "And I pretty much covered "why I hate you" on the plane. I shouldn't have expected you to be listening, I guess."
"No, I heard you," Shinji says. "You said you hated me your whole life…." Shinji's original question still hangs in the air, dangling from the end of that last sentence.
"Caught that, did you?" Kaagi says, shaking his head in disappointment. "I knew I'd slip eventually. My sister said it would be easier to get along with everybody if I kept it a secret. Yeah, right…. If this is "easier", harder must be a real bitch. Of course, if we end up dead, it won't have mattered anyway….
"So you want to know why I really hate you…? I hate you because your dad screwed my mom. He cheated on your mom, but he wouldn't divorce her. Then, he made my mom give me away, and she stayed your dad's whore for nine years until she finally killed herself. So, the next time you want to feel sorry for yourself, Shinji Ikari, just remember… you're the son he kept."
Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name, Kaagi sings resentfully in his head.
Shinji looks away. The person beside him has just told him that he's his brother. It's the same person who might have been his friend five seconds before, who was definitely his enemy, five days before that. After the shock, an all-too-familiar feeling of betrayal snakes around Shinji's heart, gripping it like a vice.
Why does everyone keep secrets from me? is all he can think. Nobody ever tells me the truth! Toji never told me that he was the Fourth Child…. Misato didn't either, not until it was too late. Kaworu never told me he was an Angel. Asuka… she asked me out, but she didn't really want to be with me. Why does everyone I want to love or trust lie to me? And… but… why does this hurt just like all the other times? Do I want to… trust Kaagi? I hate him…! Just like I hate my father… …just like I hate myse-
Shinji's thoughts are interrupted as an explosion tears the shuttle apart.
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2016, yesterday afternoon…
In the Vice-Commander's office, Misato stands gaping for a second time. Ritsuko had barely allowed any time for the reality of her promotion to soak in before dropping another bombshell.
"Shinji and Kaagi are alive?" Misato breathes. She almost doesn't dare to believe the news, especially given the source. Ritsuko just smiles and nods.
"Unit-07 fell to Earth just off the coast of Sri Lanka," she explains. "It walked right out of the ocean and collapsed on the beach, with Shinji and Kaagi on board. They were badly injured, but they survived. Mind you, this is all hush-hush until we get them back to Japan. You're only the" (she raises each finger on one hand, counting) "fifth person to know. The three of them are being air-lifted home as we speak."
"Three of them?" asks Misato.
"The boys and the Eva," Ritsuko says. Misato scowls back at her, but she ignores it. "As I was saying, they were hurt…. Shinji is still unconscious. It was against medical advice that we move him, but the Commander signed off on it."
"How is that? I'm his guardian!"
"But you're not his mother," Ritsuko reminds her. "And that reminds me; I wanted to thank you for looking after my brother these past few weeks."
"Your brother?" Misato repeats, flummoxed once again. Her constant stream of questions is swelling Ristuko's already inflated sense of superiority, and they both know it.
"My brother Kaagi," she says simply. "I'm glad he didn't tell you. I'd advised him not to, because I was afraid it would have colored your feelings toward him, given yours and my recent falling out. And that would have been unfair, since he and I have never been that close. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I've only acted like a sister when it suited my whims… which wasn't often."
"Well, you've certainly moved up in the world," Misato says, noting the immaculate grooming Ritsuko's had since she last saw her. She's changing the subject to try to ignore the fact that Ristuko's association with Kaagi is indeed coloring her opinion of the boy, even after she'd grown to like him.
"From lowly prisoner to Vice-Commander, it's been quite a meteoric rise," Ristuko says, smiling like a canary-stuffed cat. Adopting a more commanding tone, she continues, "You see, the U.N. has decided that too much authority is held by too few people here at NERV. So, we're adopting a new system of checks-and-balances within the power structure. These changes are effective immediately, and will be going all the way down the chain of command.
"My position gives me much more latitude than it did when Fuyutsuki held it. In my short tenure, I've already appointed a new Director to Section 2. And, in this new spirit of redundancy, I've created the position of "Sub-Director of Tactical Ops" as a direct subordinate to you. I expect you to train her as thoroughly as possible, should she ever need to direct Tactical Operations in your absence."
"Sub-Director?" Misato scoffs, although she mentally kicks herself for falling into the reactive-question routine again.
"Yes…," purrs Ritsuko. She looks over Misato's shoulder at the doorway. "And here they come now, in fact. Please allow me to introduce Captain Maya Ibuki, Sub-Director of Tactical Operations… as well as our new Director of Security, Section 2, Mr. Ryoji Kaji."
Misato hears that last name, and she feels like she's been punched in the gut. Given the choice, she'd have preferred an actual punch. She doesn't turn to look at the new arrivals, but she doesn't have to. Not before long, she hears him speak. He's so close, she can feel his breath on her ear.
"Hello, Katsuragi," Kaji says with his usual reserved flippancy. Underneath it, there's a mournful aspect to his voice that Misato is certain only she can detect. She'd very much like to haul off and slap him. But she keeps staring straight at Ritsuko, because Misato knows that the worst fate she can visit upon Kaji is to ignore him.
"And we owe you some amount of thanks for all our promotions, too, Misato," Ritsuko tells her. "If you hadn't distracted the Commander by nosing around where you shouldn't have, he may actually have discovered me staging this little coup. Of course, you wouldn't have started your digging if it weren't for that little capsule I had Kaji give you. Oh, and don't think for one moment that your Hyuga could've hacked Maya's files if I hadn't asked her to allow it."
I have been such a fool, Misato thinks. Red-faced in embarrassment and anger, she pushes past Maya and Kaji and storms out of the office.
"Major Katsuragi, wait!" Maya calls, running after her. Misato comes slowly to a halt, then turns to fix Maya with a weary glare. The young Captain pauses, swallows hard, and continues, "For what it's worth, Major… I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Misato replies. She looks past the younger woman to Ritsuko and Kaji. They're still in the office, talking secretively. "I know where your allegiances lie, Maya."
"Despite that, Ma'am, I have always considered it an honor to serve under you," Maya says earnestly. "And I know that I'll have to work twice as hard, to prove to you that I deserve this promotion."
"You're damned right," says Misato. But she can't suppress a fleeting smile at Maya's determination. She's reminded of herself at that age, not all that long ago. "I think you'll do okay, though, just as long as you don't let some stupid man come along and play with your heart." (Like I did, she adds to herself.)
"Oh… I don't think there's much chance of that," Maya replies, giggling. It feels good for her to laugh.
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2016, four days ago…
Maya Ibuki stands at the desk in her bedroom, nervously awaiting her moment of truth. Ritsuko had called her yesterday, to let her know that everything was ready. Still, Maya knew the consequences of helping her mentor escape and fully expected repercussions, despite Ritsuko's reassurances.
And indeed, Ritsuko had called again, just minutes ago. She said she was on her way over, and for Maya to sit tight, but Maya could hear the worry in the her voice. She might be young and inexperienced, but she knows, as well as Ritsuko does, that sometimes retribution flies faster than even those with the best of intentions. She winces slightly as she hears her front door being kicked in. Only two footfalls thunder into her apartment.
That will make this easier, she thinks, with a detachment that surprises her.
She's not facing her bedroom door as it's opened cautiously by one of the intruders. She hears what she presumes to be a man from the heaviness of the footsteps, approaching her from behind. Someone else comes running in from the hallway, most likely beckoned by the first intruder when he'd discovered Maya here.
"Lieutenant Maya Ibuki," announces the second man from the doorway, "you're under arrest, by order of Commander Ikari. Please come with us."
"Did he order that I be taken alive?" Maya asks as resolutely as she can.
"That's not your concern," says the first man. She'd rather things were more plain and straightforward, but they never are with Section 2. Still, it's close enough an answer to "no" for Maya's purposes.
I remember so vividly that day on the shooting range, during training, she thinks. Lieutenant Aoba was practicing there, too. Shigeru was doing so well, hitting all the targets… I think I screamed every time my gun went off. He just laughed. He told me, so nonchalantly, "You kill, or you die." Then he squeezed off another couple of rounds…. I remember deciding right then and there that I would rather die than become a killer.
But that was before I watched a teenage boy kill another teenage boy to save all our lives from Third Impact… to save my life. I recalled that day at the range then, too. It occurred to me how selfish I would be, to throw away the life that boy had saved, just because I couldn't do something that he could.
I hear them cocking their guns… but mine already is.
Two shots ring out in the small apartment, and Maya walks briskly past the bodies before her conscience can fully take in what she's done. She runs out her front door, and straight into the arms of Ritsuko. The older woman holds the younger as she weeps.
Why am I always late? Ritsuko laments, reengaging the safety on her own gun.
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2015…
Through the slowly spinning blades of a large, industrial fan, a pale orange sunset can be seen. The fan is immense, dwarfing the man who stands beneath it. He leans casually against the wall, not even turning to look as the assassin enters.
"Oh, hi," Kaji says, turning finally. "You're a little late, aren't you?"
A gunshot punctuates his sentence, followed by the thud of a body hitting the floor.
"Better late than never," says Ritsuko, holding a smoking pistol. Kaji looks down at the would-be assassin's corpse.
"Almost not," he says, half-grinning.
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2016, yesterday night…
Misato's anger has been eating her up inside all day. She'd stopped trusting Ritsuko a while ago, and, in retrospect, she'd never fully trusted Kaji at all. But they'd gone further than just betraying her trust. They'd lied to her, they'd used her, they'd humiliated her, and they'd done it together. It was like being in grade school, suddenly becoming the ostracized member of a clique who none of the other members would talk to anymore. Her anger is so consuming, she can't smother it with alcohol. Her anger demands violence.
She feels the weight of the claw-hammer in her hand. She'd decided that a gun would be too loud, too quick, and too impersonal. She stalks her prey with ease, unconsciously using her military stealth training to quietly creep closer. Misato watches them lying there, blissfully unaware. She wishes it were possible to alert them to their impending fate. She wants them to know what's about to happen, and to feel their fear.
Standing above them, she raises the hammer. Without so much as a twinge of remorse, she strikes the first blow. And once it's begun, she doesn't stop. The hammer falls at a dizzying pace. Red splatters Misato's clothes, hands, and face as she brings the hammer down, again and again and again. She feels the crunch and hears the wet sound of the wounds she inflicts. That's all she can hear, apart from her own screams muted through her clenched teeth. After some time, she's no longer satisfied by the blunt impact and she reverses the weapon, digging and gouging with the clawed end.
Misato doesn't stop her assault until the tool's dirty teeth can no longer find purchase in anything solid amidst the slaughter. Exhausted, she drops the hammer and surveys the carnage. Something red and sticky runs down her cheek and she wipes it off with two fingers. Putting the fingers in her mouth, she sucks them clean, savoring the sweet taste of vengeance.
Finally, Misato turns to go, leaving the mutilated watermelons behind her.
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2000…
On a catwalk, hovering above vats of steaming liquid, a lone woman stands. She stares, straining to see any tiny speck in the swirling depths. She smiles at the thought that she may have, but it was probably a trick of light and shadow. Hearing footsteps approach, she turns and sees the man she loves. He kisses her and touches her through her lab-coat.
"Antarctica certainly hasn't cooled you off," she jokes. Gendo smiles and kisses her again.
"I've been down there too long," he explains. "I missed this."
"Don't you wonder how things have been going?" Yui asks, coyly pulling away. "The Kaworu archetype will end gestation tomorrow… the other, "normal" pilots have just begun theirs... oh, and Naoko's been missing you terribly…." Gendo tenses at the mention of the other woman's name. Yui just laughs.
"Don't tease me, Yui," he pleads. "It's in poor taste. You know I love you."
"I know, darling," she says dismissively. "But we've all had to make sacrifices for the Project. Bedding that old hag was yours. If it weren't for her expertise in the field of cloning, we wouldn't have any of this… no Evas and no pilots. And if it weren't for your charm, we wouldn't have her."
"Are Project Shinji and Project Rei still hidden from SEELE?" he asks, changing the subject.
"Of course," she says. "Who's going to notice more clones among all the others? Hiding Rei's a little tricky, but you've got Naoko running interference on Shinji and her own pet project. That makes my job easier."
"I had hoped you wouldn't mind me telling her about Shinji," Gendo says. "But if she thinks she knows all the secrets, it keeps her from digging deeper."
"You worry too much," Yui says with exaggerated pity. "Of course she's totally on board with the idea of another you running around. I'd love to see her face if she ever found out about Rei, though. But I'm more careful than that. Trust me to handle averting the disasters, and you just handle creating them." Gendo frowns, taking her meaning.
"Tomorrow will be Hell on Earth," he says.
"Tomorrow, we witness the birth of the future," Yui adds, smiling.
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Episode Midpoint