Disc 1: Special Features
Clean Opening and Closing
Featurette: The Kaagi Show
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Notes: First, many thanks to everyone who's read Evangelion: New Testament! I always personally reply to signed reviews, so some of you already got this message. But I also want to thank the anonymous (or un-emailable) reviewers, and anyone else who stopped by to read but didn't mention it. I do that too often myself.
Let me tell you that I wrestled forever with myself over whether I should or shouldn't write this "chapter". You see, I love bonus material, especially behind-the-scenes commentaries. But, on the other hand, I thought that such a thing may seem conceited (why would you care what my thought processes were?) or condescending (maybe you did catch the symbolism, and my pointing it out would insult you) or even ruin the mystique of the story (getting all the answers doesn't make you ask any more questions, and it's the ambiguity of meaning that really makes "Evangelion" endure). And there I go comparing my work to the original, which could well be construed as conceited, and off we go again…. Vicious cycle, no? Seemed like it couldn't hurt to just do it at the time, but retrospect has shown me the error of my ways.
So, the Commentary that once was here is gone, leaving only the following song notes and the Omake. This is "bonus material", so I posted it simultaneously with the last chapter. I didn't want anyone looking here, expecting more story, and only getting this fluff. Thanks again, everyone. See you on Disc 2.
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Notes: For this sequel to Evangelion, along with the "New Testament" subtitle and the re-starting of episode numbers, I also envisioned new opening and closing themes… rather like Vandread. (Ooo, whom did I see cringe at that comparison?)
As FFN dislikes song lyrics printed without permission (although whose permission have we got to use all these fandoms, hmm?), I'll just say that I think the Moody Blues' "The Story in Your Eyes" and "Nights in White Satin" would make good opening and closing themes, respectively.
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Notes: I would like to dedicate this featurette to the reviewer: vcharlie.
Thank you for saying such lovely things as: "This story has some good points… The good parts are the fact that there are long chapters and that it appears to be very well written." Your review also had many other interesting words. For those, I will decline thanking you.
Featurette:
"The Kaagi Show" by MacBeth2001
Shinji sips a cup of warm milk as he makes his way back to his bedroom. His fuzzy bunny-slippers slap noisily on the apartment's hardwood floors. Before opening his door, he is struck with a profound feeling of precognitive dread. Two seconds later, he is nearly eviscerated by a clumsily swung katana.
"Oops!" says Kaagi upon seeing him. "Sorry about that."
Shinji looks with dismay at the Sixth Child. Kaagi stands in the middle of the bedroom, wearing a large, black trench-coat and wielding an ivory-handled katana. Worse yet, from Shinji's perspective, is that he appears to have moved back in.
"What are you doing here?" Shinji asks.
"Practicing my kata, obviously," Kaagi says. Shinji looks around the bedroom at the numerous gashes in the walls, desk, futon, floor, and ceiling.
"Obviously," Shinji says. "But why are you doing that here? You moved out."
"You see, Shinji, I went to--" (Kaagi takes a deep breath) "--www (dot) operation-a801 (dot) com (slash) project-r (slash) rants (slash) marysue (dot) html." Kaagi doubles over, panting. "Whew! I didn't want to accidentally create a link there…."
"So you went there and took the Evangelion Mary Sue test?" asks a disinterested Shinji.
"Yeah… you know about that?"
"I shouldn't… but it's easier for the author if I do."
"Well, get this: I scored 41 out of 180!" Kaagi says with exasperation. Shinji raises his eyebrows and then takes a seat on his shredded bed.
"That's moderately high," he says.
"I know!" Kaagi exclaims. "I've got a lot of work to do if I want to surpass "moderate"!"
"Wait…," Shinji says, finally getting it, "you want a higher score?"
"Damn right!" Kaagi says, secretly wishing that this fic had a higher rating so he could curse in a more adult manner. "I'll be the laughing stock of every SI Mary Sue out there if I don't start taking the job more seriously."
With a flourish (and, as Shinji thinks back on it, nothing Kaagi's done since he entered the room has been done without one), Kaagi sheathes the katana into the mysterious recesses of his trench-coat. Reaching smoothly (with another flourish) into an inside pocket of the same coat, he extracts and dons a pair of orange-tinted sunglasses.
"Oh god," Shinji says, burying his face in his hands. "Are those my Dad's?"
"Nope… I stole them from a Hellsing cosplayer," Kaagi replies. He sits down next to Shinji on the bed and puts an arm around the smaller boy. Shinji doesn't remember being smaller than Kaagi, but he re-reads the last sentence and assumes that it must be true.
"That's great," Kaagi says encouragingly. "You just stay all mopey and depressed like you always are. But… um… could you try not to let it spill over into "angsty brooding"? I've really got to be the one brooding, okay?"
"Are you high?" Shinji asks.
"Only on the amazing buzz I get from making out with your Mom's clone."
"My what--?"
"Oops, again!" says Kaagi. "Story secret that I shouldn't logically know slipped out. All part of being a Mary Sue…. And that reminds me, could you do me a favor?"
"Oh yeah, from Episode 5, I forgot… I'll totally tell Rei that she was the last thing you were thinking of, if you'd just hold up your end of the deal and die."
"No, not that favor," Kaagi says. "Something else." Kaagi stands, turns to face Shinji, and then screws up his face tightly, shutting his eyes and grimacing.
"Hit me!" Kaagi orders.
"You look constipated."
"Just do it!" Kaagi repeats, earning no royalties from Nike in the process. Shinji complies and Kaagi yelps in pain. "Damn. Still nothing!"
"Was that supposed to help your constipation?"
"No! I'm trying to generate my own A.T. Field! That's the reason I moved back in, too. Every point I can earn toward being the ultimate Mary Sue helps. Though as hard as it's been to learn martial arts, learn to drive, paint the racing stripes on my Eva--"
"I wondered why you smelled like latex."
"That's not from the paint…. Anyway, as hard as all that's been, it's really been murder trying to generate the Field. And it's only worth one more point! Getting it on with each cast member is only from 1 to 4 points each, too. Even Fuyutsuki…." Kaagi shudders. "Speaking of more points… nothing I've done has caused you to find your spine, has it? That'll up my score."
"No," Shinji says. "How about causing me to vomit? How many points is that?"
"None."
"Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm about to go earn you zero more points."
When Shinji arrives at the bathroom, he finds Misato plucking her eyebrows. She's dressed in... oh, I don't know, something really trashy. It hardly matters. She won't be wearing it very long, if you know what I mean. The front of Shinji's robe extends three inches in a particular location.
"Three?" Shinji yells at me in anger.
Yes. This is "The Kaagi Show", remember? I'm just glad he didn't walk in. I have no desire to write the words "towering edifice, as solid as granite". Oh damn, I just did! I've been tricked!
"Misato," Shinji whines, "Kaagi's turning into a blatant SI Mary Sue, and the author's gone insane."
"I know," she says, plucking away. "I've got a date with him tonight."
"Kaagi or the author?"
"If Kaagi's an SI, what does it matter?"
"Touché," says Shinji. He tries to sip his milk again, but finds that the bottom of the glass had been removed by the katana slash earlier. "I wondered why my bunny-slippers were wet…."
"What was that?" asks Misato, applying bleach to her upper lip.
"I said I'm going to go kill myself," Shinji says.
"Oh…. Try not to make a mess."
To Be Continued…
Next Episode Preview:
The cast rallies around Kaagi as they mourn the tragic passing of Shinji Ikari--
"I was only kidding!" Shinji shouts.
Whatever….