Well I'm starting this now but it looks like it's gonna take forever to type up so it could be a while till you actually get it. Ooooh no its actually the same day.

Chapter 4

Over the next few days they spent most of their time cleaning and moving any dangerous objects they found to the fourth floor which Molly had strictly forbidden any of the children to go near. In her preoccupation with 'The Situation Outside' she failed to notice that Ginny walked through it every morning and night with Sirius.

Ginny joked and chatted with Sirius every morning and night in the attic and on their way up and down through the house. She had not dreamed since her first night at headquarters and was happier and more energetic for it. She was grateful to Sirius for the temporary respite from Tom and watched sadly every morning as the cheerful, happy Sirius she was getting to know fade as he rejoined the world 'the Adults' were living. This was a world filled with things Sirius could do nothing to help with. She knew he despised his helplessness. He was a man of action condemned to cleaning and captivity.

But she could tell this wasn't all that was bothering him. It was clear he wasn't sleeping well and he seemed slightly afraid. He was becoming more and more restless and waited longer and longer to go to bed at night. On the fourth night she found out why.

She had gone to the bathroom several hours after everyone had retreated to their rooms, away from the quite literal war with the house. Her mind was filled with thoughts of how stressed out Sirius had been at dinner and her body was twitchy from an extra cup of coffee she probably shouldn't have drunk. She went to the loo and then stood staring into the bathroom mirror. Her hazel eyes were comparatively awake in an otherwise drowsy face and her hair was wild from tossing and turning. She picked up a brush and ran it through her curls, sighing she turned to go hoping that now she would be able to get some sleep.

She crept along the corridor trying not to wake Sirius knowing from her first night that he must be a light sleeper. As she walked past his door she heard his voice. Had he caught her?

"No Lily, James, please. It wasn't me!"

He was having a nightmare. Well she would just have to go and wake him up then. She walked in hesitantly but seeing him twisting and turning on the bed she rushed over to put him out of his misery. She knew what it was like when every second of a nightmare was hell. She sat down and reached out

"No, it wasn't me. I didn't do it. No, please."

When she touched his shoulder he woke instantly and jerked forward enveloping her in his arms.

"It's ok Sirius, it's not real. Its ok." He was hot and soaked with sweat.

"This feels familiar." He choked out drawing away slightly.

"Yes and now its my turn to ask you what you were dreaming about."

"And my turn to say I can't tell you."

"Sirius I think you need to. I've seen how afraid you are to go to bed; how you delay it to the last second. All this stress can't just come from feeling useless." She said pleadingly and he dropped his head onto her shoulder in defeat.

"It's James and Lily: Harry's parents." He said into her shoulder. She knew but didn't interrupt. "They accuse me of betraying them."

"But you didn't." she argued

"No but I persuaded them to use Wormtail."

"And then he betrayed them." She persisted

"I know but I just can't help feeling guilty" he sighed "I usually dream every night but I hadn't since I woke you up from your nightmare." He said pulling away "That's why I've been restless. I was waiting for the dream again." He was ashamed to admit it but it felt good to talk to someone with similar problems and could understand.

"It's ok Sirius." She said reaching out to him "It's good that you feel guilty; the guilt's just one more reminder that you're no traitor. No traitor good ever feel guilty for something he didn't even do."

"Thanks; that actually helps." He said and meant it.

"Anytime." She slumped down onto the bed. "You know what our problem is Padfoot? We can't forgive ourselves for things we had no power to stop."

"I guess we're just too noble." He said half jokingly lying down and unconsciously pulling her to him.

"We could probably stop dreaming if we forgave ourselves you know?" she said and he snorted.

"Well I know that won't be happening anytime soon"

"I nearly killed a half dozen people and closed Hogwarts. I don't think that really warrants forgiveness either."

"So we're stuck."

"Well at least we'll have company.

The next night Ginny dreamed again but was woken only shortly after she met Tom by Sirius. He told her she had actually called out for him. It seemed her dream-self was actually developing some sense. It must be getting very chilly in hell.