Day 11-
It wasn't the sun that woke her. Nor a knock on the door. It was the sinus pressure finally relieving itself. Her head was still a bit dizzy and she was sure she still had a slight fever. But other than that, she felt fine. True to his word, Robin made sure someone was there all the time to take care of her. Cy in the morning, Jinx during the day and Robin checked in throughout.
Meeko rested his head on her stomach with his green eyes wide open studying her facial features. He had been watching her for a while now she speculated. She had that sense of being watched.
"I'm fine." She said a bit stuffed up.
Meeko raised his head.
Raven imagined a look of disbelief would be on his face if she could read the facial expressions of a wild animal. "Ok. I feel like crap. But I'm still fine."
Meeko cocked his head to the side before resting it back on her stomach again. His green eyes still watched her.
Raven sneezed. "Urgh. I hate colds."
Meeko jumped up and ran through his window. Just barely out, the knock sounded on her door.
Raven climbed off the chair slowly and wrapped a blanket around her before heading to the door. Her visitor was patient. She expected it to be Cy. To her surprise, it was Robin. He looked a bit put out. A smile graced his lips all the same.
"How're you feeling?" He said kindly.
Raven shrugged. "Been better."
She climbed back in the chair as Robin made his way in. He shut the door behind him and took a seat on the couch where he watched her for a while. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was raspy. Even sick she had that sort of young beautiful look to her.
Raven opened her eyes to Robin staring at her. And she remembered his exasperated look when she opened the door. And the fact that he doesn't normally come to see her till at least 12:30. And it was only 8:45. "Why are you here so early?"
Robin blinked. "I had to make sure you were ok. That's all."
"Uh huh. I don't believe you."
Robin gave her a grin. "Why's that?"
"You're supposed to be at practice. Which reminds me, practice for what exactly?" She asked with a sniffle.
"Martial arts. I'm just now mastering my third variation. And I would be at practice except Cy had to work and Jinx was busy too. Someone had to make sure you weren't dying."
Raven narrowed her eyes.
"And I had to bring you your mail." He said holding out a white envelope.
Raven reached forward slightly and took it from him. There was no return address. So she opened it. It was a short letter.
Dearest Daughter-I hope all is well with you. I know it's only been less than two weeks since we parted, but I feel like we've been apart for years. I know you aren't happy with me now. But I did what God wanted. I did what was right. Your father and I both agreed that Robin would be the best husband for you. His family is some of the kindest and well-respected people of this land.
In later years you'll come to see that we only did what we've done out of love. When you have children of your own, you'll see.
I miss you my wonderful daughter. Your father sends his love as well.
Always yours,
Your loving mother.
Enclosed was a check. Raven gasped.
"What?" Robin asked a bit concerned.
Raven handed him the check. Robin widened his eyes slightly.
"Ten thousand dollars? What's it for?" Robin asked.
"Doesn't say. Seems to me like they're trying to buy my love back." Raven said in what would be malice, but with her cold sounded more like a tearful plead.
Robin handed her back the check.
"On the bright side, now I can repay you." She said slyly.
"Don't be ridiculous. You're not repaying me. I'm sure you can find a better use for that."
Raven frowned to him. But thought of a good idea. "I'll put it in an account where it can grow on interest and we'll use it when we get to America."
Robin nodded. "Good idea. But we'll have a whole lot more than that. It's a good start. And enough for you to live off of until you're settled."
Raven nodded as the second knock of the morning came to her door.
Raven started to get up but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. "Relax. I'll get it." Robin said making his way to the door.
A few short minutes later, Robin returned with a tray full of food. "I'm not much of a cook so I ordered you breakfast instead of melting down your kitchen."
Raven smirked. "How kind of you."
Robin smiled. They both ate in silence for a while with the television on for some white background noise.
"I hear Jinx had a dream again last night. They seem to be coming more often lately." Robin said during a commercial.
"Oh. I thought she had them only once in a while." Raven said slowly putting more jello in her mouth.
"Normally only once every few weeks. But since she told you about them, she's had them more often. Almost every night."
Raven nodded. Poor Jinx, she thought. "I'll start meditation with her today. I haven't in a while either and I really should."
Robin looked to her. "Why?"
Raven finished off her jello. "Because I've been so stressed lately… it's just not good for anyone to be stressed."
"I suppose not." He said with narrowed eyes.
They finished breakfast in silence. Robin took the tray outside and set it on the bench by the door. When he reentered Raven was out of the chair and not in sight. He went back to the couch and retook his seat. But he muted the TV. It sounded like she was talking to someone down the hall.
Quietly Robin followed her voice. She was in her bedroom with the door shut. Changing he guessed.
"What do you think Meeko? When no one tells me the truth, how am I supposed to trust anyone? I know they're lying. Whether they feel anything now or before I came, they did. I'm not blind. And I'm not stupid."
Robin knew exactly what she was referring to. Him and Jinx. Jinx said she had been questioned by Raven a few nights ago. And Raven had implied quite a bit more than a few times to him about it too. How did she guess something like that? Is it really obvious that there had once been… nothing. What am I thinking?
More importantly… whom is she talking to? Who the hell is Meeko?
"I know. I know. It shouldn't bother me. But really, why won't someone tell me? It's not like I really care. I wish they did have feelings, openly, for each other. Ya know? Then he wouldn't bother with me."
Robin narrowed his eyes. Bother with her? What is she talking about? Even if he and Jinx had something, that wouldn't stop this wedding. It wasn't their choice. Who is Meeko? She's too old for an imaginary friend.
"I'll see you in a bit, Meeko."
Robin realized she was heading for the door so he knocked quickly. He didn't want her to know he was listening.
Raven opened the door to see Robin standing there.
"Are… you ok?"
Raven smirked. "I'm fine. Just changing."
Robin looked at her for a bit. "Ok. If you're feeling better, would you like to go for a walk?"
Raven smiled. "Actually, I was thinking of going to find Jinx. The more work we do today, maybe she'll be able to get a decent nights sleep."
Robin nodded as Raven passed him. He looked in the bedroom to see whom Raven had been talking to. There was no one there. Just a dozen or so shopping bags on her bed, clothing and her own personal bags scattered throughout the room. The window was opened but that was it. Robin narrowed his eyes and turned to leave the room.
"What are you doing today?" Raven asked as Robin exited the hall to see Raven in the kitchen.
"I don't know. I was thinking of finding BB and Cy so we could play a little ball."
Raven nodded. "Well, I'm going to find Jinx. See you later." Raven headed for the door.
"I can find her for you." Robin said holding out his little walkie-talkie.
"That would be nice."
A few minutes later Raven began her way to Jinx's cabin. She knocked.
The pink haired girl opened the door. "Good. Now you can meet…" Jinx said turning to her living room. "Oh, never mind. He's left. Come in."
Jinx grabbed her arm and dragged her in before shutting the door. "You're going to help me now?" She asked hopefully. "I haven't slept in a week. I'm scared to close my eyes."
"Yes. We'll meditate." Raven said crossing her living room to the couch.
Jinx smiled widely and skipped to Raven's side.
"Sit. Get comfortable, but not so comfortable you'll fall asleep." Raven sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the couch with her back straight.
Jinx copied her stature.
"Close your eyes and relax your body. Deep breathes. Breath in, hold for three seconds and release."
They both did the breathing exercise. Raven felt her body relax completely. "Feel at ease?"
"Yes." Jinx whispered.
"Good. Now clear your mind. Don't think of anything. Instead pick a calming word and concentrate on it. If it helps to say it aloud then do it. Just concentrate on that word and your breathing. Nothing else."
Raven chose her words. Her normal three words. Azarath. Metrion. Zynthos. (A/N- Yes Black Death. I am spelling it Zynthos. Don't like it, then don't read.) She repeated them over and over to herself. She could feel her body slipping into complete relaxation; Her mind entering a complete calm state.
Next to her Jinx was barely whispering her word. Peace. She guessed she said it every time she exhaled. The timing was right there.
"Do you feel calm? Totally relaxed? Like you don't ever want to leave that state?"
She felt Jinx nod.
"Alright. Now find your center. Your center is the most peaceful spot within your mind. It could be a peaceful meadow, or a claming stream. Within that place, you'll find yourself. Your soul self. When you can reach that person, you've found it."
"How will I know how to get… to me? I mean… ah… how will I know?" Jinx asked with confusion.
"You'll know."
Jinx started up her single word chant. Raven listened to her. It stayed steady and uninterrupted. She hadn't found it yet.
Raven went for her own center. The place wasn't a peaceful one per se. Actually to an outsider it would be quite terrifying. It resembled a deserted asteroid. The sky wasn't a sky really. It was all black. No stars. Just other little asteroids were littered over the vast space. The asteroid she entered on was only the size of a small car. It could only fit two people comfortably.
Raven looked around. There were a few more asteroids within reach. So she levitated herself to the most distant one. Again she looked around. There was her other self. Slowly she reached for her. The other image did the same. It was like looking into a mirror. And they combined.
Raven felt her blood simmer. Her breathing took on a sleeping pace. Completely and utterly settled. For a few more minutes she stayed like that. She had a short conversation within herself. Before she was called from her restful state.
"I can't find it, Raven." Jinx said exasperated.
Raven snapped open her eyes.
"I've tried everything I can think of. All the typical peaceful places. I'm not in any of them."
Raven thought for a minute. "Ok. It doesn't necessarily have to be a painted picture. Mine is nothing like that. It's actually quite creepy. But it relaxes me. I always find myself there. Where do you find the most inner peace? At what times do you find yourself the most at ease?"
"Normally I'd say when I'm asleep, but not anymore. I don't know. I guess when I'm making things explode. Or you know how I told you about that feeling I get when I know I've let off some explosion or power or something? (Raven nodded.) I think then I'm most at ease." There was one other thought that went through her mind but she thought Raven didn't need to know that.
"Right. Try this. Close your eyes. Picture a dark void of space. Nothing around. No ground. No stars. No people. What do you see?"
For a minute Jinx was quiet as she explored this dark space in which Raven had created for her. "I see a small figure. It's wearing a black veil. But I can't get close enough to make out its identification."
"Reach for her."
Jinx imagined herself stretching a hand in her direction. The figure reached back. It made her shudder. Slowly Jinx and the girl got closer and closer. Until their hands met. The other girl pulled Jinx in fast until they were completely level. Jinx was shocked. She was looking at herself.
"I'm here." Jinx whispered.
"Now combine together. Become one."
Again Jinx found herself asking how. How could she combine with another person? But that wasn't another person at all. It was all in her mind. So she did the only thing she could think of. She walked right into the girl. And to her surprise, they became one. Just like Raven had said.
At once her body felt distant. Her vision blurred. She started to sweat. From somewhere in space she could hear Raven's voice talking to her. Be calm. Don't fight it. You're being brought into your soul self. You're fine.
Jinx tried to relax but the whole experience was frightening. She felt like she had no control. Life was slipping away. She ran. And fell.
"Jinx." Raven's voice called her from her dark oppression.
Jinx opened her eyes. She was lying on the floor looking up at Raven. "What happened?" She asked through heavy breathing.
"You panicked." Raven said calmly.
"I'm sorry. Can I try it again?"
"In a minute. Regain your strength first." Raven said.
Jinx sat up.
"You can't fight it. You're fighting yourself. That drains every ounce of strength you have. Like dreams have that effect on you. Particularly stressful dreams make you feel weak in the morning. So don't fight it."
"But its so nerve racking to have no control over your body. How do you get out?"
"You have complete control. It's your soul that your mind combined with. When the two meet, you gain absolute inner peace. Except when you panic. You get out by falling. Letting go."
Jinx nodded. It seemed like a bunch of gibberish.
"I can help you if you want." Raven offered.
"What do you mean? How are you going to help me?"
"Well, you know I'm telekinetic. I'm telepathic too. I can get in your mind and guide you."
Jinx's eyes widened. "You can do that?"
"Of course."
Jinx considered it briefly. But if it meant getting some much needed sleep, then it was worth a try to let her in. But… "Does that mean you'll be able to see my thoughts?" She asked.
"Well, yes. But I'm not looking for your thoughts. I'm only going to help your mind and soul combine."
This was a tough decision. "Is there a way to hide a memory from accidentally being seen?" Jinx asked.
"What is it you're afraid of me seeing?" Raven asked with narrowed eyes.
"Nothing, really. I just don't want certain incidences from my past relived. I'm not hiding anything." Jinx prayed that she'd believe her. How does a telepathic person read minds? Could she have already known what she'd been keeping? Is that why she has all these questions? Is she just trying to get her to say it? And then she'll say 'I know. I read your mind.'
"I'll only do what I said. I'm not looking for your past. I'm looking to help your future."
"I believe you. But please tell me there's a way to block something from surfacing while you're in there." Jinx pleaded
"Fine. Just put a defense up. Build a wall around the thoughts you don't want me to see." Though now I know you're hiding something from me, Raven thought bitterly.
"Build a wall." Jinx repeated as she tried to figure it out. All these metaphoric actions. I'm not telekinetic. How am I supposed to build a wall?
Jinx did the only thing she could think of. Thought of her memories she wanted to block and imagined them behind a brick wall. Shrugging she looked back to Raven. "Ok. Do what ever it is you do to come in my mind."
"First get to that place again. Where you found yourself last time. Tell me when you're face to face with your other."
Jinx reentered the dark space. And found the other her. It was easy this time. Even getting to her. But could she really trust Raven not to get her completely helpless and then go looking for the wall with her forbidden memories inside? She'd have to. Right?
"I'm here."
Raven closed her eyes and concentrated on getting her soul self out of her body. It took the form and shape of a black bird made up of dark energy. It was easy. The bird slipped from her body and fell into Jinx's body.
Once there the black bird disappeared and Raven was left there. The place was dark. Just a black hole. In the distance she could see a large brick wall. That's where Jinx is hiding something. In the opposite direction was the two Jinx's waiting for her. Raven sighed and began her way to Jinx.
"Ok. Now combine. Melt together."
Both the Jinx's looked to her and past her then back to her again.
"I promise I'll stay by your side." Raven said in monotone.
They combined into one.
Jinx felt the panic start to come over her again. Her heart raced. And then Raven's voice. Relax. You're fine and in complete control. Just let the feeling take you over. Enjoy it. Embrace it.
Jinx tried her best to do what Raven said. She didn't know how.
'Begin your relaxing process again. Concentrate on your breathing and the soothing word of your choice.' Came the distant voice of Raven.
Peace. Peace. Peace.
The calmness started to settle. Jinx felt her body relax. Her breathing became completely regular. Her heart rate became steady. The feeling was almost pure ecstasy. Almost.
She stayed there for a long time. Enjoying the feeling. And then she remembered Raven. She had to get out. Out of… herself? Whatever it is. How does she get out? Fall. Let go. Let go of what? She wasn't hanging onto anything. Fall. Let go. Fall. Let go. After repeating it a few times, Jinx felt herself falling away. Not sure away from what though. But falling. It was a refreshing fall.
Jinx opened her eyes to see Raven sitting there completely calm. Not saying anything. Could she still be in her mind? How would she know?
"Raven?" Jinx asked.
Raven opened her eyes.
"Did I do it?"
"Did you?" Raven asked back.
"I think so. When did you leave?"
Raven frowned. "Don't worry. I didn't snoop around. I watched you until you were in complete unity and then I left."
Jinx smiled. "Thank you."
Raven nodded.
Now an awkward silence engulfed them.
"I will tell you. Just not yet. Not quite yet." Jinx said.
Raven shrugged. "You don't have to tell me anything. I know enough."
"No you don't. But when it's the right time, I'll tell you. Or someone will. Don't stop liking me, please. I'm sure there's stuff you're not telling me." Jinx pleaded.
"It's fine, Jinx, really. Whatever it is you're not telling me can't be such a big deal. What would it have to do with me if it happened in your past anyways?"
Jinx smiled and felt complete guilt. A change of subject would be good. "So how is this going to help me figure out my dreams?"
"It's not right now. But you need to get some good sleep and relax your mind before we can explore it."
Jinx nodded. "Thank you so much. You don't know how much I appreciate it."
Raven shrugged. "No problem."
Again with the silence.
"So. Want to go get some ice cream?" Jinx asked hopping up.
"Yea. Sounds good." Raven said getting to her feet.
They headed out the door and passed by some of the cabins. Terra was sitting outside hers reading something. A magazine by the looks of it. Raven remembered that she wanted to talk to her some time. But they passed her by.
"I know you, Cy and BB will be moving with us to our new house. Will Terra be too?" Raven asked as she watched Terra a bit longer.
"Probably." She said sourly.
"Why, again, don't you like her?"
"I just don't. She's… just… not a good person. Very manipulative."
(A/N- Don't worry all my Terra fans. There's a reason. Just you won't find for a while. Sorry. I have goals to meet.)
"Another thing you don't want to tell me yet?" Raven asked.
Jinx sighed. "Raven. There's a lot about us all and our history together that's… complicated. All of us. And in time, we'll tell you. I promise. But for now, you just have to trust me. We all care for you and it's nothing that you'll care about if you're not lying to us."
"If I'm not lying? About what?" Raven said a bit defensive.
"No. Don't be mad. I didn't mean it like that." Jinx said quickly holding her hands up. "About how you feel. I promise we'll tell you though."
Raven began to get more and more suspicious. "When?"
"I don't know. Some time soon I'd think."
"I take it you're not the only one making this decision. So who else is this concerning? Let me guess, Robin."
"Among others."
"Fine. I don't want to know." Raven said quickening her pace.
"Please, Raven." Jinx pleaded.
Raven caught a metallic shine from the corner of her eye. Cy might be of some comfort. And if not, Meeko would be definitely. But human conversation would help as long as she'd get a response.
"Jinx, I'll meet you there in ten minutes ok? I want to grab something from my suite."
"Oh, ok." Jinx said making her way to the gate with a frown.
Raven watched her go out of sight. And she ran to Cy.
"Cy." She called.
Cy turned. "What's wrong, Raven?"
"Nothing. Just… wanted your opinion on something."
"Ok. Shoot." Cy said with a smile.
"How well would you say you know everyone?" Raven asked carefully structuring her question to lead up to the next and not sound to suspicious.
"Everyone? As in who?"
"Robin, Jinx, BB and Terra."
"Oh. The first three very well. Terra, not so much. She keeps to herself mostly. And Star."
"How well?" Raven asked innocently.
"Well. I live with BB. Jinx and I have been real close for years. And Rob's my best friend."
Raven gave a ghostly grin. "So. Would you say you know everything about Robin?"
"Yes. He tells me every thing." Cy said proudly.
"Everything."
"Yes." Cy confirmed still proud.
"Then you know what this secret is that he and Jinx are hiding from me." Raven said with a sly innocent smile. If you can accomplish that in one expression.
Raven watched Cy's expression turn to dread. And he turned away. "No. I have no idea what you're talking about."
"But you said he tells you everything." Raven threw his own words back in his face.
Cy scrunched his face briefly. "Well I guess he forgot to tell me that."
"I doubt it. You just wont tell me either. What, did they kill someone?" Raven asked put out.
"No. Of course not. Nothing like that." Cy reassured.
"Then what! Just tell me. I want tell anyone else that I know or that you told me."
Cy turned and took her by the shoulders gently. "I can't. It's not my business. I'm just the diary. And I'm sorry to say you don't hold the key. Robin will tell you."
Raven pulled from his grasp and turned away. She made her way towards the ice cream place in town without another look or word to Cy.
Jinx treated her to a cone and they sat watching other kids skate down the sidewalk. Some small children were playing ball. Parents walking holding their infants in stomach slings. One little toddler girl on a leash by the looks of it was running around in a circle holding her bottle in her mouth by the nipple. Raven laughed. And sighed. If only she knew she'd be forced to marry in ten years.
When they made it back to the grounds, Raven headed to her suite. Her plan was to read until she got too tired to keep her eyes open. Normally she would have made it through all four books by now. But she had barely made it through one of them. Her days have been surprisingly filled. She had read Chaos Reigns and now planned to read Holy Kingdom falls. It was the next most interesting book.
She read until it was too dark to see the words. She hadn't bothered to turn on a light. She was hoping no one would bother her if they thought she wasn't home. Meeko hadn't even shown up. If he could talk and he knew the secret, he'd tell her. It was an easy comfort since she knew he couldn't talk.
Raven heard the knock at her door. And completely planned to ignore it. She glanced at the illuminated clock above the television. Quarter to nine. Raven squinted. Again she missed dinner. It's a good thing she always planned on missing dinner. That way she wouldn't get disappointed when mealtime came and went.
The knocking came again. Who could possibly be bothering her this late? Don't they know she'd usually be asleep? Maybe someone's come to bring her dinner. Whatever her visitor wanted, she wasn't interested.
Again with the knocking. Raven sighed and got up. She had noticed that the saying, if you ignore it, it'll go away, never applied to anything around here. People were too determined.
So she opened the door. And Robin stood there with a tray full of food.
"I'm not hungry." Raven said turning and going back to her chair and picked up her book.
Robin set the food on the coffee table and turned on a lamp. "You shouldn't read in the dark."
Raven lifted the book high enough to conceal her face.
"So you're mad because no one will tell you what Jinx is keeping a secret. Right?"
"You and Jinx are keeping it. And Terra. And Cy knows and won't tell me. And I'm sure BB does too, but I've still yet to enjoy his company. What's the big deal?" Raven said from behind her book.
"Exactly. What's the big deal? Why do you want to know so bad?"
And Raven stopped reading. Why did she care again? "It's not really the fact that I care so much as why no one will tell me. Since I'm forced to be here, forced to be a part of this family, forced to be with you, why shouldn't I know?"
"Yes. And since I'm forced with you, forced to be your husband, forced to live with you against my will, why should I tell you my business?" Robin said mockingly with a cocky smile.
"Whatever. Like I said. I don't care anymore. I don't need to know, you're right. In four years we'll be through and it won't matter than anyways. You can keep your secrets with Jinx. Since I have a pretty good idea, I'll just use my imagination."
Robin flinched. "Don't do that. You'll get the wrong idea."
"Maybe. But it must be pretty close since no one feels the need to tell me. I can ask Terra. I'm pretty sure she'll tell me."
"She won't. And they've all told you I'll tell you eventually. Just not yet."
"I told you I don't care anymore. So we can drop it."
And they did. It was hinted about, but other than that, ignored completely.
Day 17-
(A/N- sorry I'm skipping so many days. But the next two chapters are going to be days almost all in sequence.)
The sun was out. The flowers in full bloom. A slight breeze was coming in off the lakes from the east. There were children playing, cars passing, shopper's spending money and her mother kissing her on the cheek.
"I'll pick you up in a few hours my dear. Enjoy your time and mind your teachers." Again she kissed the small purple haired girl on the cheek. "I love you, Raven. I love you so much." She said with a warm smile.
"Love you too mommy." The young Raven called back after her.
Her mother ran her hand through her four-year-old daughter's hair. And she was gone. Raven watched her mother go. Something wasn't right about the way she felt today. Something was strange. Was off. But she was only four. It could have been in her head.
The call came at 3:18. Raven heard the phone ring and stopped building her castle of blocks to watch the teachers. The youngest one answered the phone. Immediately her eyes got wide and her hand went to her mouth. She turned her head and her eyes met Raven's. That's when she knew she had been right.
The young teacher hung up the phone and walked directly for Raven. There were tears starting to build up in her eyes. Raven could see them. "Come with me, Raven. There will be some people here to pick you up in a few minutes."
Raven heard the teacher's voice begin to shake.
"Where's my mommy?" Raven asked.
The teacher gripped her hand tight but didn't answer. She was brought into one of the back rooms. A room she hadn't been in before. It was welcoming and warm. But it was obviously a room for adults. There were large sofas and chairs. A big television and some elaborate pieces of art on the walls. And most of the other teachers were in there as well. And they all had the same teary eyes that the young one did. There was something horribly wrong.
"Raven, dear. Come sit down."
Raven turned to the teacher who had addressed her. She was grayed and wrinkled. Her eyes had a sort of twinkle to them normally. But it was missing today. Today her eyes were red and her cheeks somewhat blotchy. "Where's my mommy?" Raven asked again.
She noticed one of the other teachers broke into tears at her words. Raven began to get nervous. She felt the burning sensation that tells you when the tears have formed. They were aching to get out. But the young girl fought them. She had to know where her mother was. "Tell me. I want my mommy." She said with a fierce sob.
"My dear sweet child." The old gray haired one said. She came over and knelt down to her level. She took her hand. "You're mother's been in an accident. She won't be coming to pick you up today."
Raven searched for a different answer in the woman's eyes. "Then my daddy will get me."
Again that other woman who had broken down before sobbed a bit louder.
"No, Raven. Daddy was in the same accident."
Raven felt a hot tear roll down her cheek. "No. Mommy said she would come get me. She's coming." Raven screamed and stomped one of her little black boots on the floor. "She's coming. She's coming. She's coming."
Her hysterical screaming was interrupted by a knock on the door. It knocked again. And again.
Until Raven was jostled out of her sleep.
Raven sat up straight in her chair. She felt the cold tears that stained her face. Her heart was beating fast. And the knock came again.
She jumped off the chair and wiped the tears off her face harshly.
Cy was at the door ready to prepare breakfast.
"Are you ok? What's wrong?" He asked concerned when he saw her tear-stained face.
"Nothing. I had a nightmare." Raven said turning from him. "I'm going to take a shower." And she left him.
In her bedroom she shut the door and backed against it. And the tears came crashing down. She sobbed silently for a long time as she slid down the door until she was on the floor in a fetal position.
That dream comes once a month normally. The dream of how she lost her parents. Her last memories of her mother.
"I love you, Raven. I love you so much."
The words rang through her like an echo in the night. Her mother's beautiful face flashed before her eyes. Her bright blue eyes. Kind loving smile. Beautiful features.
She choked on some more sobs. "I love you too mommy." She whispered.
The tickle of whiskers brushed up against her arm and she jumped a bit. Meeko was standing on his back legs looking at her.
"Oh, Meeko." Raven said scooping him into her arms and holding him close like a teddy bear.
Meeko wriggled for a minute and then relaxed and let her hold him. She cried and cried for a long time.
And then it was over. Without a word, Raven set Meeko on the floor and headed to her bathroom and shut the door.
Raven showered fast and walked out in a towel. Meeko was gone. But that's ok. She didn't want to talk about it anyways. Not even to an animal.
She dressed in some black sports pants and a tight black shirt. On the front it said 'Don't like my attitude…' The back finished the thought with 'Get over it.' Jinx had said it fit her personality well. She agreed.
After brushing her teeth and running a comb through her hair, Raven returned to the kitchen to see Cy standing over the stove.
"What do you like in your omelet?" He asked once he noticed she had returned.
Raven shrugged. "Anything unless I don't like it." She answered lazily.
Cy chuckled. "Yes. And though I've been cooking for you for a while now, I still don't have all of your eating habits down. Enlighten me."
"Fine. Sausage, mushrooms, onions and cheese."
Cy nodded.
Breakfast went by quietly. Cy only made small talk. He didn't mention the state she was in earlier this morning. Though the questions did plague him.
After only eating a third of her omelet she was full. It covered almost a whole plate. She headed to the main house with Cy in the lead. He was to lead her into the second floor library in the East wing. Father Tadashi was to meet her and Robin there for their second round of pre marriage counseling. Again Raven and Robin agreed to arrive separately.
Once outside the doors, Cy pointed in the direction. Raven thanked him and walked in.
Father and Robin stood to greet her. Raven paid no attention to Father and looked straight to Robin. She gave him a ghostly smirk. He returned it.
She took her seat beside Robin and once again ignored the tradition of kissing the Father's hand and saying a prayer.
But Father Tadashi gave no notice. Apparently he had been warned.
"Let us pray." Father began and bowed his head with his hands already folded in his lap.
Neither teen participated.
Father finished praying by himself. He looked to the two of them almost in question. Raven looked past him.
"I am told you two have no respect for religious figures." He started.
Neither teen said anything.
"And I see that you plan to keep it that way. Very well." The Father took out a pad of paper and began to scratch notes on it. After a few minutes of stealing glances at them, he looked up. Still no one gave him any attention. "Aren't you curious to know what it is I'm writing?"
Still no response.
"I'll tell you. I'm going to take notes about what goes on in here. I plan to make it very clear to both your parents about your behavior."
"That's crap." Robin spat.
Raven looked to him a bit shocked at his sudden out burst. She had planned to stay completely silent and thought he would do the same. Apparently he had his own ideas.
"I beg your pardon young Drake." Father said with wide eyes.
"I said that's crap. In the research I've done in the past couple years I happen to know it's a breach of privacy to share any information, in any form of counseling involving the church. That is to include pre marriage counseling. So if you share so much as a word, I will have you charged with invasion of privacy."
Raven smirked at the smug tone Robin used. And at the knowledge he had in this matter.
Raven looked from Robin to Father Tadashi. He was dumbfounded. It seemed that he wasn't expecting Robin to know the laws. And the sentence Robin constantly said passed through her mind. 'There's a lot about me you don't know.'
"Very well." Father said placing the notepad on the coffee table. "I expect your complete cooperation then. Or I will inform your parents."
"Like I said. Do it and I will charge you. Don't try your luck, Father." Robin said in the same voice he had used before. "You don't know me so I would advice you not to assume I'm some dumb teenager."
"I would never assume that. And don't threaten me." Father said in a harsh tone.
"I would never threaten any Priest. But I am making you a promise. You repeat anything that goes on in this room, and I will charge you with invasion of privacy as well as breaking the confidentiality law of the Church."
Father Tadashi turned to Raven. "At least one of you has a good sense of respect."
Raven blinked. "Don't assume you know me either."
"I see. Obviously I have underestimated you both. They put quite the pair together this time. I can't wait to see what the children are like."
"There will be no children." Raven hissed in a low tone.
"Of course there will. You know tradition. Your first child should be born by the time you're seventeen."
"Yea, about that." Robin said with a mock tense face. "See we've decided to break that tradition. We've decided to practice abstinence."
Raven almost laughed at the words. Not that she disagreed. And not that she believed him. She just didn't expect him to say that. But she regained herself before it was noticed.
Father Tadashi looked between the two of them for some time. "Abstinence is only practiced if there is a health issue between the two of you. And so far none have been identified."
"And is the church going to force us to have sex?" Robin asked with a serious face.
"Of course not. That is a private issue."
"Can't be too private since you plan to check our sheets." Raven said with disgust.
"Hold your tongue child. You know not of what you speak."
Robin's calm demeanor faded. "See Father. This is where Father Estavio and I didn't see eye to eye. You are not to talk to my fiancé like that. Ever. She's not just a dumb teenager either. So don't treat her like one." He snarled.
For a minute there was silence. And then Father Tadashi smiled. "I've got your attention now. So we'll move on."
Again Raven looked beyond him. Robin kept his eyes fixed fiercely on Father.
"We'll not discuss tradition right now. I'm actually here to discuss the ceremony. Particularly your kiss."
He stopped and waited for a response. None came.
"I want to go over what the kiss symbolizes."
"Don't bother. There won't be a kiss." Raven said without moving her gaze.
"Excuse me? Yes there will."
"No there wont." Raven insisted.
Father furrowed his brow and let an arrogant smile dance. "As long as I'm officiant than there will be a kiss."
"That's fine." Raven started. "I don't find a priest who carries a threatening tone and tries to instigate us into an argument worthy of performing any holy ceremony. Or our wedding." Raven said throwing in the unspoken idea that though weddings were thought to be a holy practice, their's wouldn't be.
"That is completely ridiculous." Father said with a nervous chuckle as he looked to Robin.
"What? Do you really expect me to disagree?" Robin said with a cocky smile.
"You know I wouldn't do anything unethical." He said with innocence.
"You tried to threaten us into cooperation by saying you were going to tell our parents." Raven said blandly.
"I would never do that. Like you said, it's an invasion of privacy." Father said pleadingly.
"So you lied to us." Robin alleged with his brows raised.
"No." Father Tadashi said with hands out in front of him. "I would never…"
Robin stood. "We're through here, Father. It's been made painfully clear you are unworthy to perform our sacred ceremony." He started to make his way past Raven and grabbed for her hand so he could lead her from the room.
She willingly cooperated ten fold.
Once out in the gardens, Raven laughed. "You amaze me sometimes."
Robin smirked. "I hate it when people treat me like I'm ten. It pisses me off."
"And again you defend me. Thanks." Raven said with a glance.
Robin held his smirk a bit longer. "Yea, well. I also hate when females are talked down upon like their some inferior species. Behind some of the most astonishing accomplishments is a woman's brilliant mind."
Raven smiled. "So that's another priest down."
Robin laughed. "There was no way I'd have let him do our ceremony. Granted he would have helped make the joke bigger, but he was just rude."
Raven nodded.
They walked down a path quietly for a minute.
"Do we really have to kiss?" Raven asked looking at her feet.
Robin sighed. "Yes. But don't think about it. I'll figure some way around it."
"How?"
Robin shook his head. "I don't know. But I'll come up with something. Be patient. We have a lot of creative thinking to do in these next few months. Something will come to me."
Raven nodded slightly.
"But if I can't, remember it's just a kiss. Nothing else." Robin said trying to keep her at ease.
"Uh huh."
Robin chuckled. "You still don't believe me do you? After I made it perfectly clear to Father Tadashi that we won't be having sex. You still dong believe me."
"I want to." Raven said holding her breath.
"Then do it. I've never lied to you. And I saw you almost laugh when I said it. What was that about?" Robin laughed remembering.
Raven did too. "I was just lost in thought when I heard you say it. Those are words I never picture a guy saying. Willingly."
"Well believe me. No matter how desperate and needy I get, I'll crawl in someone else's bed. I would never force you into anything." Robin said as they both turned down a different path. "By law and church we may be husband and wife. But as far as I'm concerned we're just roommates who have to consult with each other about everything."
Raven let the words run thought her. And she tried to believe it. She almost did.
"Why did you refer to me as your fiancé?" Raven asked blankly.
"You are my fiancé." He said with a grin.
"Right. I know. But you've never called me that before to anyone. Or ever. Why now?"
Robin sighed. "Simple. You know I've done a whole lot of research on this crap. I've been through nine tenths of the books in the church library. Not to mention Cy, Jinx, BB and I talked to a lot of people. So we gathered a lot of information. Verbal, written and implied. It's a well known 'implied' fact that the woman is treated as a piece of property by their husbands. If I only referred to you as Raven, which I mostly do, it sounds like I have no control over you, which I don't. And I don't want any. And it will be treated as you just acting out. But at certain times, like with the priests, it helps us if it sounds like you're acting on my behalf. Like we've already discussed it and agreed. You're just acting it out and respecting my wishes. I know that's not the case, but your opinion will mean more if it sounds like I gave you my blessing in it. I'm not saying its fair or that I like it, but I'm giving you my support and helping you out as much and as painlessly as possible."
Raven listened and didn't like a word of it. But it was all true. And so far he hadn't tried to control her. He was actually trying to help her. "Let me ask you something."
"OK."
"You have no hidden agenda? There's nothing you're trying to get out of this by helping me keep my individuality?" She asked.
Robin looked to her. "Like what?"
"I don't know. But I just can't understand why you're doing it. After all I've done, you're still treating me as if I deserve to be treated fairly."
"You do."
"But you get what I mean. You said it yourself. Your brother's wife did what I am doing and she's miserable because of the way he treats her. I imagine that's how most guys would act to my attitude. So, why not you? What makes you so different?"
"I'm not like most guys. I told you that. Besides, my brother's a monster. I'll never be like him." He said with a cruel passion.
"So there's really nothing you want? Nothing you're trying to get? No hidden agenda?" Raven pushed still a little skeptical.
Robin laughed a little. "No. I wouldn't know what to try for."
They walked a ways further and talked a bit more. When they stopped walking they took a seat on the grass in front of one of the large ponds. There were a few fish jumping and some small gold fish swimming in a circle close to the edge.
"Hello Mr. Drake and Miss Raven."
Before Raven turned to see who the owner of the voice was she saw Robin flinch. It was Terra.
Raven smiled a little. "Hi."
Terra made her way over and sat next to Raven. "So how's the black wedding coming along?"
Raven shrugged. "Fine I guess."
"I hear you scared off another priest." Terra said with a giggle.
"How'd you know? We just left him." Raven said a little surprised.
"I was messing with the greenery at the front door when he came out in a royal huff. He was mumbling something. He didn't know I was there to hear him. I couldn't make out what he said except something about 'disrespectful' and something else. So what'd you do?" Terra said with more laughter.
"Nothing really. He just didn't like our plans." Raven said with a grin. She turned to Robin.
Robin was making a huge effort to keep his gaze at the water. His expression was that of a tortured schoolboy. Well that's what she imagined it resembled. Raven looked back to Terra.
"Oh, well." Terra got to her feet. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I got work to do."
She waved and walked away.
Raven turned back to Robin. "I take it you don't care for her much?"
Robin gave a sour smile. "She's not exactly one of my favorite people if that's what you mean."
"I don't think she's that bad." Raven said.
"You don't know her like we do. And I hope you don't ever get to." Robin said still in the sour tone.
"Why? What'd she do?"
Robin shook his head.
"Got it. Another secret."
Raven watched the water for a long time. The sun was setting in the distance now. There would still be another few hours of daylight left though. She sat at the side of the pond. Robin was still next to her. But he was lying on his back with his hands behind his head. They hadn't said much since Terra left them. And the silence gave Raven time to speculate on that.
There was a lot of tension between them. Raven could feel it. And it wasn't unresolved tension either. They had confronted it before. Being empathic, Raven could read body language and body heat like a book. But the words were a bit blurry. She felt it mostly come from Robin. Terra seemed to enjoy it. She craved it.
The situation made her think of Jinx and Robin. Jinx and Robin. Terra and Robin. Terra and Jinx. There was some big secret that all three of them knew and weren't going to tell. That involved all three of them? What could it possibly do with all three of them? Jinx and Robin had feelings for each other. Unsettled? Possibly. That could attribute to their unique relationship. But Terra and Robin's was more… heated, by the feel of it. Robin flinched and ignored Terra. Terra liked the discomfort she caused him.
Raven looked back at Robin. His eyes were closed. But he wasn't sleeping. His breathing wasn't steady enough for that.
What is such a big deal that involves the three of you that you think I'm going to care so much about that you all find it necessary to keep it from me? That was the big question. But she was done asking them about it.
"Let's get some food." Robin said getting up and brushing himself off.
Raven glanced to him and followed suit.
Robin checked his watch and headed to the back of the main house. "Cy's most likely fixing dinner now. We can join him at his place."
"Uninvited?" Raven asked.
Robin smiled. "We're never uninvited at Cy and BB's. Besides you might actually get to meet BB now."
Raven followed to the Cy's house. BB wasn't there. Like normal.
"He left a few minutes ago. After his tofu burger." Cy informed them.
"Tofu?" Raven asked raising one eyebrow.
"He's a vegetarian." Robin said.
"Ah."
Cy had made some seasoned chicken with some butter sauce, baked potatoes and some steamed vegetables.
"You are one great chef." Raven said between bites.
Cy beamed. "Thank ya."
"Where'd you learn to cook like this?"
"My mother was a great cook. So was my grandmother. I spent a lot the time when I was home from school in the kitchen with them. Family time I guess." Cy answered stuffing a huge chunk of chicken in his mouth.
Raven thanked Cy for dinner and turned down Robin's offer to walk her back to her suite.
"I can find my way." She said with a soft smile.
And she started her way. Just past the main house Meeko had found his way in stride. Raven picked him up and explained why she had been crying earlier.
Then she laughed to herself. "I don't know why I feel the need to clarify my actions to you. Maybe I say them to you so I understand them better."
And then she continued to spill her day's events to the green raccoon that lounged in her arms. Every now and then Meeko would make a movement. Raven thought at first he was adjusting to get comfortable. But instead of acknowledging that that's what it was, she would go more into detail about what she had just mentioned.
She finished recapping her day as she changed into her night cloths. Meeko wouldn't come in the bedroom while she did. He stayed in the hall. Raven didn't try and question it. He couldn't answer her anyways so it was a waste of time really.
Raven curled in her chair and Meeko tucked himself into her lap. In one hand, Raven flipped through the channels with the remote. Her other hand pet Meeko's belly.
"I spent so much time the other day helping Jinx calm herself so she could sleep without a nightmare and I got the nightmare." Raven said absently to Meeko. "Do you know what it's like to lose your parents, Meeko? Do you dream about it constantly? Does your mother's voice haunt you? Normal nightmares I can stop. I can make sense of them. But I can't seem to make this one go away."
Raven felt the sting of tears in her eyes. "They were coming to pick me up from nursery school. And they got in a car accident. I lost them both."
Raven cried herself to sleep.
I want to apologize for this chapter. I'm not really as pleased with this one as I have been with previous ones. But the next one will be better. I promise. Want something to look forward to? Robin's brother makes his first appearance.
Now to answer some reviews:
Black death-get over the minor spelling errors. They are words otherwise spell-check would pick it up. And you get the idea otherwise you wouldn't know what correct spelling to use anyways. If it pisses you off, don't read it. Simple as that.
Al the Pirate- I've never read the comic books but I would really like to. Do you know of a site where I can read them online? I'm really excited to have an author whose work I love reading mine. -Takes cookie and runs-
UtterlyInsane- thanks for the info on religions. I'm always curious to learn some of their traditions and customs. Even if I don't agree with them.
Magemi-chan- gently guides out of corner I love the idea of you editing. Someone should and since I know what it's supposed to say I don't necessarily catch what's wrong. So your corrections will be taken into account and fixed then that chappie will be reposted when the new one come up. Sound good?
kittykat- good suggestion. I might consider it a little later on.
kr0nnikal- not lame and I understand your thinking. But I assure you everything happens for a reason.
dana- thank you very much. I couldn't have said it better myself.
Nevermoretheraven- :) not telling.
The Angel of Anarchy- I'll work on the dress. Though I'm warning you now, I'm not a great artist.
Chica De Los Ojos Cafe- for now.
Nevermore266- hmmm... you'll find out next chapter
Unforseen- you'll get other peoples POV. I knew you'd all get curious sooner or later.
Now about fluff. It will come in small helpings. For quite some time. But I promise later it will come in good portions. But you have to wait. Be patient.
And I've gotten quite a few 'pointers' about Raven's bitchiness. I know it sounds like I'm making her out to be horrible but I'm not really. Just wait and see. You have to remember, this a lot for a thirteen year old to go through. Think of her situation. Think about what she's being forced into. But she won't stay like this for long. You'll see.
One last thing. I appreciate constructive criticism. It's more than welcome and will be taken to heart and fixed if possible. But it should be concerning the plot or something big. Not crap like typos, spelling errors or countries. If spell check doesn't pick it up, then I won't catch it most likely. I wrote it therefore I know what it's supposed to be and I won't usually see if it's wrong because it's right in my mind. I want likes, dislikes and suggestions on how to improve. Apparently some people are just too lame to figure that out. Again I will say it, IF YOU'RE THAT PETTY, STOP READING MY STORY! The solution is simple. No one's forcing you.
Happy reading and please review
Little Creature
muah