Authoress' note: More Band of Seven silliness by yours truly:)
Original Character Interview.
by artisanrox
CHAPTER 2. WAGER.
The next day would have been equally as pleasant and beautiful were it not marred by the massive, nauseous headaches experienced by each of the men. Except Renkotsu. Who didn't like being hung over and therefore not being able to scheme...well, schemes. After tending to their hangovers, or lack of them, they gathered to check out what sort of women Renkotsu and Bankotsu were to interview for the leading female role in the fanfiction, Wayward Ransom. Except for Jakotsu, who was completely disinterested in the whole process and was there simply to show moral support for his oo-aniki. Well, as much as he could stomach.
Yhe youngest man among them sat at the head again, flanked on either side by his friends and comrades so they formed a sort of aisle. Renkotsu sat to Bankotsu's immediate right, and Jakotsu to his immediate left. To the right of Renkotsu sat Mukotsu and Ginkotsu. To Jakotsu's left sat Suikotsu and Kyoukotsu.
Unbeknownst to Jakotsu, the other men in the group took bets among themselves to see how many applicants he'd last through until he had to run out of the room. Mukotsu sincerely believed one day he'd appreciate women for the wonderful lumps of utter self-gratifying pleasure they were, and gambled that he'd see the light this time and would last through all of them. Suikotsu wagered a month's living wages that he wouldn't even last through one interview, and Bankotsu said he'd crack with one more to go. He added that since he'd known Jakotsu longer than anyone, he'd pay the winner triple.
There was a knock at the door, and Kyoukotsu got up and slid the door open. A middle-aged, rather pretty woman was on the doorstep. She wore a white kimono with many bright pink flowers on it. She had a forlorn look in her eyes, and constantly weaved her hands in and out of one another nervously, with a totally dejected look on her face.
"This appears to be our first applicant, Nanashi."
"Hey," said the suave leader, grinning. "Come on in and have a seat."
Nanashi timidly walked through the men, her eyes falling on each one with a puzzled look. The men looked all so strange...and evil. And they all smelled like bad sake. The tiny one rubbing his hands together looked creepy. She was afraid he might want to get a peek at something she didn't want him to see, so she stayed as far away as she could from him as she shuffled toward their leader. The one in the flowery yukata was particularily disturbing too. That one wouldn't even look up at her, and seemed to have bated breath as she walked by.
She didn't like these people, but duty made her come here and try to acquire what she wanted.
"What brings ya here?" Bankotsu asked with a smirk, trying to begin some conversation.
She glared at Bankotsu dead straight in the eyes. "Babies." That was all she said.
Bankotsu looked at her with question marks seemingly coming out of his ears. Renkotsu shuffled. Jakotsu wanted to run away. Suikotsu also wanted Jakotsu to run away and SOON, just so he could win his money, especially since Bankotsu went for triple.
She wrung her hands harder. "My clock...is ticking. I need babies. I saw openings for an actress and I want the lead role so I can fall in love with my leading man and we can have lots of babies."
Bankotsu was nonplussed. Renkotsu was astonished, and Jakotsu could finally breathe now that the woman was across the room from him. Well, not all the way across, which would have been more comfortable. And it wasn't not having her within the same territory, which would have been ideal, but...still. "Uh...I'm the leading role...but I don't think-" began Bankotsu.
She desperately clung to her false hope. She started sobbing, looking up to the sky. "Please! You're young and handsome and strong and healthy. You'll make a perfect daddy. Let me have the lead role so you'll fall madly in love with me! Let me have your babies!"
Bankotsu rolled his eyes and made a signal to Kyoukotsu and Ginkotsu. He picked up on the notion that she must have had a LOT of theatrical experience, but...no way, Jose. The two largest men got up off the floor, each taking the woman in an arm, carried her to the door, and left her on the front step. Ginkotsu shut the door on the woman, and the men could hear things like, "I have retirement funds all set up for our babies and everything!" and "The nursery's been set up for two months already!" through the closed door. Pretty soon her shouts trailed off to sobbing, and then that trailed off to silence as she finally took the hint and resignedly walked away. "She's got to be kidding. I'm a mercenary, ferGod'ssake. There are other people in our anime she'll get along with perfectly anyway if she wants kids," Bankotsu confided to Renkotsu.
The young leader thought about that monk, whose name he never quite caught, traveling with the pretty armored girl with the huge, heavy looking boomerang. He'd seen the two of them once or twice in his dealings with the half-dog demon. He could have sworn he saw the monk's hand resting on the girl's ass once in a while, and he heard from a few locals at various town hangouts the gossip that women were constantly hit up to have children with him. They were perfect for each other. Come to think about it, he and Mukotsu probably would hit it off quite well, too, unless they both met a pretty girl to try and feel up at the same time, which would mean some competition between the two of them. Then he was done thinking...because Clorox wasn't invented yet with which to wash his brain out had he continued, and he'd really need some Clorox for that.
"And besides, I don't think you'd enjoy your turn if you ever had to babysit for me," Bankotsu added wickedly.
It was Renkotsu's turn to become white as a sheet with the thought of it. "Certainly not," he said with completely honest finality.
Jakotsu relaxed after the front door was shut, but Suikotsu looked over at him, then at Mukotsu. Suikotsu was thoroughly annoyed that he'd already lost his part of the bet and Jakotsu was still in the room. Mukotsu answered his glance by grinning and rubbing his hands together. Bankotsu had a grin on his face also as his eyes flicked back and forth between the two of them, and they looked at him. But they all knew that mesmerising smirk was only his poker face. There were, after all, still three applicants to go.