My computer hates me an awful lot. I can't write a chapter without it shutting down on me. It should say I'm sorry to earth.
I went to Prufrock Preparatory School to be with Violet or Klaus, not Carmelita Spats and Mr Rombass. He wrote a book called 'Mr Rombass' Guide to Theft' which I had to study. I started from 'Haggle Every Penny Possible' and continued onto 'Ways Of Faking Illness'. What's more unfair, Carmelita was best the in the class.
I was a late entry, so I had to catch up in Nero's recital, which I was half grateful for. The other half was "you lucky – ". The line was a word I would put in a T story.
Our gym teacher came and, because he was mean and not that he was Olaf (I don't know him off by heart), I put dung in his shoes while he was hidden by the bed sheet. His foot was visible so I peed on his turban too.
Mr Rombass was informed and thanks to Chapter 4 'Be A Bad Schoolboy' I was tested against Carmelita. If you face the troll girl Spats, know that 'Spats Spits'. I've done it again.
My task: Switch Nero's violin with chocolate and cheese string. I did 'Memento Mori' but hoped I didn't on the side of the school.
I didn't die or I wouldn't have written this story, but after I did the switch (commentary: he comes in the window, throws a stone at the door. Nero is coming to the door, he's making the switch. He narrowly jumped out the window) I hit the ground.
Chapter 10 'Wrap It Up With Injury' got me a b- but chapter 1 'Get Others To Do Your Dirty-Work' got Spats an A+.
The class result reports came after the Baudelaires got expelled, and my mark was a rare one, ZZZ----.
"Chapter 1" said Mr Rombass"Don't Betray a Villain until the Last Minute. Coach Genghis is a villain and you got none of his trust at all. The mark ZZZ---- is given correctly. It's so low, you're expelled".
Guess I had it coming. In my face. The spit I mean.