I was a bit late to get a job in the auction, like they would do it anyway. The door at the top slammed in my face. 66 floors were too high to walk down, so I went in a lift. Yes, I'm British.
At the bottom floor, the lift doors opened. Or at least, 1 set of doors did. Normally, if you wait, the doors of a lift close. No exception here.
Wondering what to do, I pushed button 66. I went in the other lift and, you get the idea.
"Why does this always happen to me" I said to myself, sadly. Then I noticed something. "Oh, the door's open. Oops".
I got out and touched the fire tongs. Ouch. And a note to reviewers, I'm the Unfortunate Events Master. This happens all the time. I fell off Uncle Monty's roof, slipped on a banana skin into a drain on the way to Briny Beech and once sneezed while depending on holding onto my Stone Skipper 3000 with 2 hands.
If you want to know my other tragedies, wait till chapter 14, next year. On to the story. At the end of the tunnel, a guy smoking flicked it into the tunnel. Cigarette burn, ouch.
I ran to the auction and when they tell you to look for cars coming before walking across the road, they think of the smart thing. You've heard enough tragedies now, until chapter 14.
How late was I. I was so late; the box was all that was left. But seeing the Very Pretty Dollies abandoned there, I knew they were looking for the group I'm in, V.F.D., not for me though.
I mean, even V.F.D. doesn't know me.