Cat-chan: Ne, we're back from Vegas! It was awesome! Oh, hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!
Tsuzuki: I know I did! -smiles- Oh! Cat-chan! Tell them what you won!
Cat-chan: Oh yeah! I was playing in an arcade in the Excalibur hotel, and I won the cutest little thing ever! It was a teddy bear that was the color of Hisoka's hair and had green eyes! I was so happy! I named it my 'Soka bear.
Hisoka: It's kinda creepy how much it looks like me.
Tsuzuki: It looks like the bear I got you! -hugs Hisoka- So kawaii!
Cat-chan: Well, I managed to finish not one... not two... but three chapters on my vacation! Well, with 16 hours of nothing in the car what else am I supposed to do? Heh, hope you enjoy these next few chapters as much as I did writing them!

Chapter 21: Roses are red

"Nii-san? What's wrong?" Setsuko asked softly, sitting beside the boy who was huddled beneath a sakura tree in front of the office building.

She had finally found him after checking all around JuOhCho's Summons section, worry gradually increasing when he wasn't in any of his usual hiding places. She was surprised that he was out there in the dark, she had almost missed him if it hadn't been for the white yukata he was wearing. As the child approached him, she could tell that he was distant, the dulled emerald eyes focused on a petal that had fallen from the tree towering over him. A frown etched into her face when he did not reply to her, nor acknowledge her presence.

"Nii-san? Are you okay?" she continued to inquire, settling down more comfortably beside the boy.

The empath remained listless, staring blankly at the soft blade of grass and lone sakura petal that decorated the earth. He looked sick, deathly pale, exhausted, much too skinny, along with hints of discomfort and nausea. The girl supposed that this was due to him just waking up not long ago.

"Nii-san, come on, are you just gonna ignore me?" she tried effortlessly to get through to him, past his mental barriers, "Tsu-chan's worried. He's crying, you know."

"Just shut up." Hisoka sniffed, something indescribable flickering in his eyes.

Setsuko stared at him, "S-sorry. Did I say something wrong?"

"Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to anyone. Especially you." he hissed, hugging his legs to his chest and resting his chin on his knees.

"But Tsu-chan wanted me to get you." she protested, trying to hide how much it stung to hear him say that, "He's really sad. What happened?"

Hisoka glared at her, "I don't want to talk to him either. And nothing happened! So stop asking! Just leave me alone."

"… He knows, doesn't he…" she spoke softly, her chocolate eyes hardening, "He knows you're scared of him."

He shook his head violently, "I'm not scared of him."

"Then why are you running away from him?"

Hisoka didn't reply, for he had none to give to the girl. She wouldn't understand anyway. It would be pointless to try and explain it. he tried to convince himself of this, turning away from her, It's so complex… I'm not sure that even I understand what's going on through my head. Frustration burned within him, a fire that could not be put out with any measure of soothing comfort. He'd carry the scars forever. Hisoka fisted his hands in the grass, he was so disgusted with himself for acting this way but he wanted to believe that he had done nothing wrong and that it was the right course of action to take. It clearly wasn't. How could it be? He had abandoned his partner, the kindest and most selfless man that probably existed. He had left him to sob alone and dwell in his self-loathing and drown in his depression. It was the worst possible thing that anyone could ever do to him, yet the empath was the one guilty of this crime. To hurt Tsuzuki like that.

"To think that I wanted to be the one to comfort him when he was in pain, when I'm the source of his suffering." the thought that was currently haunting him was spoken aloud, unknown to him.

Setsuko's hardened gaze softened, "Nii-san… I'm sure you didn't mean to."

"I ran out… even though I knew how sorry and hurt he was. Even though I wanted to go back and comfort him, apologize and say that it wasn't his fault. Tell him that he didn't do anything and I was just being an idiot. But I still ran out! Why am I such a… such a coward?" Hisoka was close to hysterics, but managed to keep a relatively calm appearance.

She gazed up at him with wide eyes, startled by his outburst, "Ah… n-nii-san, it's okay. Let's just go back to him and then you can apologize."

"I can't! I can't bear to see him in so much pain like that!" his tone was a mixture of fury and pain.

"But-" Setsuko began, but was cut off as the boy roughly pushed himself off the ground.

"The feelings that are within us both are too painful, I wouldn't be able to do anything for him. It's my office but… comforting others has always been a challenge for me. An obstacle. And recently there seems to be some kind of barrier between me and Tsuzuki. One I didn't create." he spoke softly, regretfully, "Besides, why would he want me? Why would he want me to go to him if I'm the one that caused his pain and misery?"

She stood up as well, "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think."

"I'm an empath; and Tsuzuki's emotions have always found their way into me, whether I want them or not. They're so strong, that I can feel them even if we're apart. Like now. Right now, his pain is so fresh that I can feel them from here. I-I can't stand this. I have to get away!" Hisoka clenched his fists as tears welled up behind his eyes, "That's all I do. Run away from my problems." But that's easiest.

Setsuko gasped and reached out for him, "No! Wait!" but he was gone, having teleported away from where he had been, somewhere safe. "Nii-san…"

The sudden emptiness and silence that enveloped her and sealed her in was the cause of her flee. It was hopeless. She had no idea where to begin her search for him. Having teleported, Hisoka could've ended up anywhere in Meifu or Chijou. There were too many places to check, it wouldn't do any good. The best thing would be to inform Konoe or Tatsumi or someone important like that.

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I know that it's mean, but I hate you." the little rhyme was something she'd made up on a whim when her mother and father had continued to abuse her, mentally and physically. It comforted her in a strange sense. "Roses are red, violets are blue. Please don't go, I love you. Roses are red, violets are blue. You've gone away, but we'll find you."

Unbeknownst to the girl, a pair of cobalt eyes framed by glasses had witnessed the entire episode. Their owner was not pleased at all with what he had seen, pressing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He folded his arms over his chest, glancing up at the sky for a moment or two, then shook his head and teleported from his hiding spot. He was going to have to fix this.

I don't understand, what could I have done? Did I come on too strong? Did he think I was going to… Oh gods, he did. No! How could he think that I would do something like that to him? How could he? I would never hurt him like Muraki did! Never! Couldn't he tell the difference between my love and that bastard's intentions? Why does he have to be afraid of me? Why? Why? He probably hates me now. Can't stand to look at me. Scared of me. Hates me. He ran out of here… the way he looked at me… I'll never forget that look. So fragile… so vulnerable… so fearful of what I might do to him. But… but I wouldn't! I swear! Uggh… my head hurts. Too much crying. Where's Hisoka? I want him to come back. Hisoka? Didn't 'Suko-chan go to get him? Where's she? I'm alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.

"Tsuzuki?" the tearful brunette lifted his heavy head to view the newcomer.

Watari stood in the doorway, thoroughly perplexed. 003 was perched on his shoulder. She cooed softly, turning her head at an unnatural angle. The golden eyes of the scientist were taking in the figure crumpled in a sobbing heap atop one of the infirmary beds. Tsuzuki's shoulders trembled violently with suppressed cries, tears streaming down his face. A few hiccups escaped him as he attempted to conceal his pathetic state.

But Watari wouldn't have it, "Tsuzuki, what happened?" he stole a glance at the empty beds, "And where have bon and chibi gone to?"

"W-Watari," the man choked out, "I-I really screwed up! H-Hisoka proba-bably hates m-me now!"

The scientist placed a thoughtful finger to his chin, "So bon's finally woken up now, eh? Hmm, that's good. But wait. What's this about him hating you?"

Tsuzuki shook his head, "H-he's afraid of me!"

"What!" Watari leaped back in disbelief, "That's the craziest thing I've ever heard, Tsu! Insane! Bon trusts you more than anyone! It's impossible for him not to. How can he be afraid of you?"

"I-I don't know! Just… the way he looked at me! He was terrified! A-and then he just ran out!" Tsuzuki cried out, not wanting to believe it either.

The blonde placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "There, there. I'm sure we'll be able to straighten this out. We just need to give bon his space. But not too much! I still need to look over him and make sure he's okay enough to be wandering around again, you know now that he's awake. But don't cry, Tsu. It'll be okay."

"But-" Tsuzuki tried to protest, but Watari shook his head, indicating the end of the conversation, "A-alright." he sniffed, rubbing at his tear stains.

A soft knock disturbed them, both turning their heads to view the next intruder. 003 hooted in response, fluttering her feathers in a startled gesture. Clutching at the doorframe, Setsuko stood quietly and nibbled on her lower lip with discomfort. She looked guilty, as if caught sneaking the last cookie from the cookie jar before dinner.

"Chibi! There you are!" Watari smiled at the girl, "Why didn't you come straight here like I told you to, young lady?"

Setsuko fidgeted, "I did come straight here, Yuu-chan. But then when nii-san ran out I went to go find him for Tsu-chan."

"Oh! Did you?" both asked expectantly, one clasping their hands together and the other gripping the blankets.

She nodded hesitantly, "H-hai…"

"Well, where is he?" the scientist continued to pry.

"Anou… he's not here." she seemed to shrink into herself, "I found him and talked to him a little, but then he went away. Teleported I think. Is that right?"

"WHAT!" the two shinigami exclaimed, Tsuzuki looking as if he was going to start crying again and Watari was the only one to continue, "He teleported? Damn, that means he could be anywhere. Do you know where he teleported to chibi? Did he say?" she shook her head, "Do you know why he left?"

Setsuko looked down shamefully, "Hai."

They continued to stare at her as they waited for her to elaborate. She quickly caught on, "He said… nii-san said that he had to get away. Because there was too much pain or something like that. He said he couldn't face anyone yet."

Tsuzuki appeared crestfallen, "Oh… h-he did, did he?"

"Hai… I'm sorry Tsu-chan." the girl went over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "I'm so sorry. But he'll come back right? He'll come back."

No one said anything after that; no reassurances or comments on how much doubt had echoed in her voice as she spoke. For a moment, they all just wanted to believe that for once… words could make you feel better even when you knew it wasn't true.

He wasn't sure how late it was, nor how long it had been since he had fled from JuOhCho. Night still embraced the sleeping city of Nagasaki, whether it be extremely late in the evening or much too early in the morning Hisoka was still unsure of. After gathering some clothes at his house, the boy had simply resorted to wandering around, no destination in mind and no desire to stop walking. His face was void of all emotion, save for the hints of annoyance and exhaustion. It one were to dig deeper though, they would discover that he was only trying to hide behind his usual mask of indifference.

The streets were nearly deserted. A few unholy looking people wandered about, donning their dark, oppressing attire. Teens and young adults dressed for clubbing were staggering about in drunken states. Hisoka eyed them with contempt and disgust, but a sudden memory of Tsuzuki in that bar in Kyoto when he was trying to drown his sorrows in sake flashed in mind. He grimaced, holding his head as he leaned against a wall for support.

"Kiddiesh like yous shouldn't be out sho late…" the sudden voice from no where startled the boy, it came from some drunk man who was sitting on the ground nearby with a bottle of alcohol next to him.

Hisoka glared at him, stalking away from the man so that he would not have to deal with anything that was not of his concern. He didn't have to reply to the man, he could just be on his merry little way without having to deal with any of these freaks. Without paying any attention to where he was going, Hisoka found himself at the very place where he and his partner had run into Maria Wong and broke her out of her trance. That had been on their first case, and neither of them had very much liked the other. Funny how far we've come… he smirked inwardly, but then it hit him, We've probably taken a step or two or ten back now because of what I just did.

"Interesting place for someone to spend their time at two in the morning, Kurosaki-kun."

Hisoka nearly jumped out of his skin, "N-nani?"

Tatsumi was standing a few feet behind him, arms folded over his chest and not looking the slightest bit happy with him. Not that the secretary looked happy that often. Hisoka relaxed, staring at him as if expecting some sort of reason for the man's appearance there. He began to walk over to the empath, slowly and so calm that it was unnerving.

"What are you doing here Kurosaki-kun? Shouldn't you be resting?" the secretary spoke again, less displeasure in his voice this time.

The boy frowned, "I-I needed to get away for a little bit."

"You do know that your little bit has turned into six hours?" Tatsumi arched an eyebrow.

He gulped, "Aa… gomen Tatsumi-san. I didn't mean to be out this late. I lost track of time."

"Which is why one wears a watch." Tatsumi reprimanded lightly, "Why exactly did you need to get away? Tsuzuki-san and Watari-san giving you problems?"

Hisoka frowned, "Don't pretend that you don't know… I know you overheard Setsuko and I talking earlier by the sakura. I'm surprised you're not trying to comfort Tsuzuki."

The secretary sighed, "I can't very well do that if I don't have all the facts or you. He will only be comforted if he has you with him."

"Not if I'm the one who started it." he retorted icily.

Cobalt eyes narrowed, "Since when have you been one to lay the blame on yourself? I believed that was Tsuzuki-san's position."

"Well I guess he rubbed off on me then. Things change." Hisoka stared at the ground, grinding the sole of his shoe on a dead cigarette.

Tatsumi observed him calmly, "I see. What exactly did you start then?"

"None of your damn business." the voice that came from the boy was not unlike his own, yet there was something inhuman and twisted about the sudden change in tone.

The secretary was startled, "Kurosaki-kun, there's no need to take such a tone with me."

"Why don't you just shut the fuck up, you asshole." for a moment, emerald eyes flared crimson, the features of his face pulled into a snarl.

"That is quite enough." Tatsumi raised his tone to the boy, "Language like that in unnecessary and improper."

'Hisoka' sneered at the secretary, "Just leave me the hell alone and you won't have to deal with it."

"Kurosaki-kun, what has gotten into you?" the man was concerned for his employee, the hostility in his tone and gestures could not go ignored and were unlike him.

Before he could retort, the youth's body lurched forward with a quick spasm. Suddenly, his entire body was twisting and writhing, as if trying to launch something out of it. Cobalt eyes widened at the display. Tatsumi was rooted to the spot as Hisoka grunted and whimpered, crumbling within himself. His face contorted into one unlike his own, eyes were a blazing crimson. A pained cry escaped him and soon he found himself staring up at Tatsumi through his own eyes again. The green eyes were fearful and confused, not comprehending what had just occurred.

"I… I… What happened?" he asked, trembling as he clutched at his shoulders.

Tatsumi shook his head, eyes narrowing, "I'm not sure, but let's go find out."

Without warning, Hisoka lurched forward again, this time spilling a mixture of blood and bile from his mouth. The secretary hurried to him and helped steady him. "I don't think she likes me very much." he coughed out before the older shinigami teleported them back to Meifu.

Muraki walked briskly through the snow, shoes crunching as his pace quickened. Trees surrounded him as he entered the forest where he believed she had fled. Fury shone in his eyes, yet his face remained calm and emotionless. The sky was of the darkest pitch, save for a handful of gray clouds and the bloodied moon gazing down upon the earth. The doctor stopped a moment to gaze reverently at the orb, malice joining the fury held in his eyes.

Coming upon the clearing that was their designated meeting place, he found her just as he had anticipated. The woman in dark attire with the whitest skin to contrast it. Her hair was of the richest ebony. Lips were full and stained red from countless amounts of blood. Her eyes corresponded with that scarlet coloring. She was seated upon the shrine that was present, a shrine praising some kind of entity that neither cared about. Her gaze drifted to him, smirking at his appearance and rose to give him a bow in mock admiration.

"Haruna." Muraki hissed.

"Muraki-sama." she replied evenly, rising to meet his line of vision with her own.

Silver eyes narrowed as they stared intently into crimson optics gleaming with mischief, "Why did you do that, Haruna? You know this could jeopardize my scheme."

"Oh come off it, doctor!" the demoness laughed in reply, "I was just having a bit of fun with bouya. Nothing to worry about."

Muraki frowned, "Haruna. Do not forget that I give your orders, that is what the contract implies. Next time you are to do something so foolish without my knowing then consider the offer void."

She scoffed at him, "Well, it's not like I asked to be placed into your ownership, Muraki-sama. And my temporary possession of the boy was merely to warn him that you and I are the ones who pull his strings."

"If it weren't for me, you'd still be locked away in eternal sleep. In that chamber that you have been trapped in for a little over a century." he looked away from the demoness to the crimson moon reflecting itself on white snow, "Bouya is well aware of who holds his strings, he does not need a reminder… yet anyway."

"My patience is thinning Muraki." Haruna hissed, "Hasn't enough time passed yet for me to devour the pain and fear I feel radiating off these beautiful creatures? It's much too tempting to just sit back and relax. When will this so-called scheme of yours come into play?"

Muraki smirked, "Patience is a virtue, my dear. And virtues were not granted to you, but to your sister."

She rolled her eyes, "My sister," she sneered, "Kaori has nothing to do with this. It's still a wonder to me how you managed to convince that little bitch to join your little plot."

"Let's just say it was a matter of life and death that got her to come around." he remarked calmly, "I threatened to do everything in my power to destroy what little she had left in order to bestow upon her the rank of arch angel. You know she wouldn't be able to resist that great honor. So we made a bargain, one that wasn't made too clear to her until after it was set in stone. She was so naïve, it was almost too easy."

Haruna pursed her lips, "But why would you need that prick?"

"To kill the child of course." Muraki answered casually, "Do not worry, the boy will be left to you."

She narrowed her eyes, "My sister will never do it. She's much too 'holy' and 'pure' to kill an 'innocent'."

"Oh, she will when she realizes the stake that is at hand." Muraki paused, listening intently as if he had heard something that would give them some sort of trial, "Come, let us make hast. The final preparations are being made Haruna. You'll get your blood soon enough."

From out of the shadows crept creatures not seen from this world. All cloaked in darkness, each pair of eyes were the same shade of red as the demoness'. The color of blood. The were poised and ready for orders, some had wings and other were merely wisps of black smoke. The entire forest was shrouded by this terrible aura. A cult of black drenched demons and their master cloaked in white.

Tsuzuki stared at the thin lines on his wrists. They were merely scars from the past, over time scar tissue had formed there. Telling him that he would never be able to forget his past. Each line represented a different suicide attempt. Each one a complete failure. Except for the one right where his vein was, that had been the cut that ended his life or what was left of it. The damn doctors hadn't made it in time, but Tsuzuki was glad that they hadn't. He was glad to be dead.

Or, had been… now he wasn't so sure if death was all it was cracked up to be. He thought he could atone for his sins by being a shinigami. Instead the numerous things that made him guilty just seemed to multiply. And it won't stop. It'll never end.

"Stop it."

Tsuzuki looked up, startled by the harsh tone. Hisoka was glaring at him, having been helped in by Tatsumi only a few hours before. The secretary had given the boy a strange look, then ushered Watari out demanding to speak with him. Setsuko had fallen asleep long before that, now curled up beside the brunette. The empath had not said two words since his arrival, the command just made being the first thing to leave his lips.

Tsuzuki shrunk back, placing his watch back on, "Gomen…"

He expected his partner to nod or say something else, but instead Hisoka just sat there and stared out the window. That's all he'd been doing the entire time, staring out the damn window. The man was unsettled by this, Hisoka was clearly avoiding him and had every good reason to do so. It didn't stop him from feeling any worse than he already did. Tsuzuki had already apologized profusely, begging for the boy's forgiveness and promising to never let his emotions get the better of him like that again. He couldn't be sure that Hisoka had heard him, let alone see him. The expression on the teen's face had not changed, his eyes empty as he stared at the brunette. Then he just turned his head and looked out the window. For three fucking hours.

"Shields." Hisoka reminded, not even glancing in his direction this time.

Tsuzuki sighed heavily, but complied just the same. It would take some time for the boy to get his thoughts together, the man had decided, I'll just wait for him to be ready to accept my apology so we can move on and forget this whole thing ever happened.

"I won't." the monotone of his voice was so… frightening to the man, Hisoka never spoke like that to him anymore unless he was bored out of his mind or thinking about something.

"You won't forget?" Tsuzuki whispered hoarsely.

He didn't flinch at the obvious pain in the man's voice, "No. I won't."

Even if Hisoka placed no blame in the man, Tsuzuki heard it in his head over and over and over again. And it's all your fault. And it's all your fault. And it's all your fault. And it's all your fault.

Your fault.

Reviews!
1. YamiChikara: Thank you, that's the way I wanted Setsuko to come off as. An important asset, but not overshadowing my favorite bishies. I know this is all getting very sad, but I can't control how I write! Thanks for reviewing!
2. lunarkitty14: Don't worry! Two more chapters will be up and running very soon! Like today or tomorrow! Thank you for the review!
3. Kyokutou: You do create good stories! I love 'One Little Matchmaker' it is very kawaii! But thank you for the compliment just the same!
4. jennamarie: Ne, a going away Thanksgiving present is what that chapter was for. You're very welcome and thanks for the review!
5. Hazel-Beka: Yeah, that's the effect I was trying to pull off. I mean, if 'Soka was still scared of Muraki it's probable because he was raped and murdered by him. That should mean that he'd be scared of rape period. I mean... anyone in their right mind would be. Thank you for reviewing and I hope that my story does get on a more happier note!
6. Kalili: Hooray for not working! heheh, and it's okay. It's very easy to overlook Wakaba's first name. Well, I do suffer from writers' block on occasion, but I love this story so much that the ideas just keep coming! I'm determined to finish this ficcie before Christmas! I screwed up on the POVs there, I know. There was supposed to be a gray line separating from when Setsuko goes to sleep and when Hisoka has his nightmare. Sorry if it caused major confusion! Don't worry, I love long reviews! Thank you so much!
7. Sheila Ibrahim: Thank you, I'm sorry that the words are a little deep and might affect some people. But I appreiciate your review!
8. Nana-Riiko: Thanks for the four reviews in a row! That makes me glad to have written a story that makes people want to keep reviewing! Of course you can glomp me, I'm a very glompable person. But so is 'Soka and Tsuzuki! Yay!