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Ru Ying Sui Xing – Chapter 17 – Insignificance

I shook my head, and asked in a gloomy and depressing tone, "What?"

I always thought it would be Zhuge Liang and I. Not Zhuge Liang and Dai Xian. So all this time when Liang wanted to get closer to me, he was heading for Dai? No wonder he eyed her when we were in the carriage! The nerve of that boy! What idiots!

And Dai Xian! She has the nerve to do that to me? Does she know who I am? I am the great Huang Yue Ying, daughter of a skilled, talented, brilliant, clever scholar, born and raised in a complex life always resolving in seminars teaching me about life lessons. A seventeen-year-old living a life she has never lived before. She is now a lost person.

I clenched my teeth and fists together as hard as I could. Father gulped. "Yue Ying? Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine." Father was so easily deceived by my words. He said to me, "Alright then. I'll get the nobleman up here. It's getting late. You should be getting some sleep, my daughter.

When father said his name, pressure grew inside me. Such a person with that surname deserves to be executed by I! What kind of man does this to his soon – to – be – wife? No man does. Zhuge Liang is a simple boy.

Father called Zhuge up here; it was almost 10PM. I was on the bed, annoyed, aggravated and exhausted; he was standing up next to me, stretching. I could tell by his tone when he said: "Good night, Ying." He twitched when he saw me not expressing a response. It was about time he had noticed. What an idiot! How could one not see that? Unless he didn't want to...

I ignored him, grumbling, "Go to Dai! Rotten-"

"I beg your pardon?"

Your precious Dai Xian awaits you downstairs, Zhuge-boy! Run to her faster than you ran away from me! I think your emotions are much stronger for her than for me! Heck, there might be none for me, all for that sad Dai!

"Ying, I need an answer."

Why respond to such ignorance? He should have told me at least that he has fallen for Dai Xian! The nerve of him! The nerve of Dai Xian! You are a new low for idiots everywhere! Low morons of the south, all of you!

"Ying, are you alright?"

How could he do this to me, especially when I told him less than two hours ago that I had fallen for him? Isn't it hard enough to live with the burden that your lover fell in love with someone you had introduced to him? What else can I say?

"Ying, are you feeling okay?"

Using me to get to your precious Dai Xian, huh Zhuge? Noble, father said to describe you. A nobleman. Some nobleman, tricking women into believing what he desires. Watch what I'm going to do to you tomorrow, you cheating bastard!

"Ying, please answer."

I get the point! You love Dai and used me! Just go!

"Ying? Yue Ying?"

Why couldn't I say all of this to him?

Zhuge Liang turned over to my side and noticed my face was filled with all kinds of emotions: Hatred, regret, anger, fright, distress, and anything that fit along those lines. I had not noticed that I was crying until I felt Liang wipe some tears away with a handkerchief.

"Yue Ying," he attempted again. "Please tell me what is wrong!"

"You want to know what's wrong, peasant?" I cried.

He swallowed his words.

"Using me to get to Dai? How low can you go?" I half screamed and whispered. "I told you I love you, Zhuge Liang! Why me?" I turned myself around and shoved my face into my pillow. I really could not take much more.

"What do you mean?" asked Liang. He rubbed my back with one of his hands.

"Father told me! He heard and saw you propose to Dai Xian! I can't take any more! Just go ... run away with her! Forget me! Leave me ALONE!" I cried.

"No! Yue Ying, you do not understand! I hy-"

"I understand perfectly! Just run to her and leave me be!" I shouted.

Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"Yue Ying, no. I will not leave you until you understand th-"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, ZHUGE LIANG!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Pain stabbed through me. I felt worthless, inconsequential, and insignificant. What was left of me?

Liang lifted up his hand and then got up. I felt little droplets of water fall upon my back, and then his footsteps gradually became quieter.

There, on our bed, I cried my heart out because something that I thought was perfectly balanced showed it's true colors and diminished from my soul.