7. Yes Brother

After finishing clearing up the kitchen, (i.e. shoehorning everything into the dishwasher) Butch and Boomer went into the lounge. It was a huge room, filled with contrasting items; 18th century portraits and deep rugs mixed with LCD televisions and leather recliners. Boomer looked around in awe.

"Drink" asked his brother from the drink's cabinet. Boomer nodded.

"Got a beer," he asked. Butch paused.

"Cherry?" he offered.

"Gee, when did you get such an expensive taste," but he accepted it.

"About the time you got cold feet over asking out Bubbles," Butch replied, "I can't understand why you took so long. You're obviously made for each other."

"I was abroad most of the time," Boomer said, "and the career clash didn't help, but that's over now." He glanced around the room again, taking a seat as his eyes fixed on the chandelier. "Boy, I wish that I could give Bubbles something like this."

"Oh you don't just need money and objects to keep girls happy. We've got a lot more to offer."

"Really?"

"Well," Butch glanced at his drink, "mostly."

"Good," Boomer sighed, "because I'll never be able to afford this. I mean, now I'm a superhero, the big money days are over, and they never really started."

"Oh I don't know," Butch smiled, "the money isn't that bad."

"Yeah, but it's not enough to buy this sort of stuff," Boomer said, "I mean you must have been sitting on a bundle of money from your old crime ventures when you swapped sides, to be able to afford this."

"Oh come on Boomer, you know I was broke when I married."

"So," Boomer looked surprised, "everything in this room was brought legally?"

"that's not what I said," Butch downed the rest of his glass. Boomer looked like his brain all about to break.

"But I though once you joined the superheroes that was that for crime and such."

Butch looked astounded. "What ever gave you that idea?" he said.

"Well, you know, the truth and justice and all…"

"Okay Boomer," said Butch, "let's think about this. Why do you suppose the SSR was created?"

"To protect the world from supernatural enemies and to promote freedom and justice?"

"Wrong. It was created to stop mutants from taking the jobs of normal people by putting them all in one company. Saves on endless equal opportunities law suits, and stops the public moaning about mutants stealing their jobs. Justice was the last thing on the founder's minds."

"Oh. So it doesn't matter, we can just pop out and steal things."

"Unfortunately not. You see it must appear that the organisation is about justice, so the members don't get rebellious." Butch smiled, "but why go to the trouble of stealing things, when there are much better ways of abusing the system."

"Since when were you the cunning one," asked Boomer dismissively, but he still sat up to listen closer. Butch chuckled.

"I took Brick's place at uni. Okay, scenario 1. I foil a robbery of something, anything. In order to get the thief convicted, I need evidence. So you just take anything the thief may have touched."

"Anything?"

"Yep. TV's, chairs, computers, DVD's, 18th century pictures, and cars are good to take too. Now the police won't want all of this crap, so I just store it at home. What they want for the trial they take and the rest…" he wave his arm around the room to ethicise the point.

"But don't people notice all this stuff has gone?"

"No, there insurance company will pay up," Brick said before pre-empting Boomer's next question, "and if they're not insured then they don't have anything worth stealing."

"But what if they really protest, say, about the pictures. They must be pretty unique."

"yes that can be a problem" Butch noted, "but if you target items of great sentimental value, such as baby photos or childhood teddy bears as alternative evidence, they become a lot keener for you to take what is easily replaceable."

Boomer was amazed, "and no one checks up on this?" he asked.

"No one has the time. Too many reports come in every day for people to check up on minor robberies. Okay, scenario 2. A very valuable gem with mystical powers is to be displayed temporally at a poorly defended local museum."

"Oh good!" Boomer rubbed his hands together with glee. Butch sighed.

"It's a sting Boomer! The place is filled with superheroes and the gem is merely well cut glass. We normally tempt dozens of super villains out this way."

"Oh."

"But let's suppose that Mojo jojo gets to hear that it's a sting form a source within the organisation. Then while all the hero's are occupied with the sting, he can rob a normal bank to the tune of about half a million and give his source a thirty percent cut."

"Great! Who's the source?" Butch ignored the question.

"So you see it's easy to make money…err top up your salary from within the superheroes."

Boomer glanced around before asking quietly under his breath, "does Buttercup know about this?"

"I expect she suspects something," Butch admitted, "But you don't ask questions that you don't want to know the answer to. You know, like the author not asking if anyone is still reading this." He looked at his watch. "Just about time for another drink, and then we should go meet Eddy and Blossom."

Boomer shuddered violently. Butch looked at him.

"Anything wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know if I can cope with that." Boomer was gripping the side of the recliner angrily, "I mean, she killed Brick. How can I get over that, and treat her like a normal person."

"It's not that hard," Butch now looked very uncomfortable.

"Really, it nearly destroyed your relationship with Buttercup, til you sold out and forgave Blossom just before the wedding," Boomer was foaming slightly with anger. "I just can't see how you could forget about your brother like that!"

Butch looked around nervously. Then he took a deep breath, and sat down in front of his brother.

"I'm going to tell you why," he almost whispered, "but you MUSTN'T tell anyone else, understand. You see, Blossom…" he was interrupted by the sound of a key turning in a lock from the hall way.

"… is a good person and if you can't stand her talk to Eddy or the kids instead, as they're alright, although the kids won't be there," Butch said hurriedly. He then when to open the door for Bubbles and Buttercup, leaving a bemused Boomer to try to work out what was so bad about telling people that.

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