Author's Note:
Broadwaymusicalbased, rated for Mimi's occupation. :)
I love both the new and old versions of Rent, including both Mimis, but one of the things I liked especially about Rubin-Vega's portrayal were the undertones in her voice that subtly conveyed her own emotion, such as when Roger says "Your smile reminded me of" and she breaks in with a barely-detectably frustrated "I always remind people of…" Her tone said people don't see her as herself, only as a representation of their fantasies or lusts - and she's not sure how she feels about that, whether it means more power or more pain. It's my hope to represent that in this drabble.
I Always Remind People Of
It's interesting,
sometimes, to watch their expressions. Light flashes sour yellow, neon
green, dried-blood red. Between the colors, everyone gazes at
me. Lust, sweat, teasing smiles, longing, leers, even jealousy, all
in their eyes when they look to mine. I know what I do to them, and
the heat of their eyes warms me. My legs wrap around the dull-shining
pole, my face glows, accented in black paint, my chest presses tight
in the slick black suit – they made my clothes so people can look
right through them in most places, and easily imagine the rest. It's
funny, how they think they're seeing all of me. Some think they
know me, especially in the nights afterwards, with me while imagining
their loves, lost or never found. I'm the smoke-dream, their drug
of choice to escape from real life's disappointments. The cause of
my reality helps them forget theirs.
Sometimes I enjoy it.
But the part of me they
don't see… sometimes I wonder if it's still there.