Thought I'd forgotten about my little brain-child, didn't you? Nah, I just got a little too "distracted" at my new boyfriend's house this week. Well, I'm back with Chapter 6! Snoogans.
A few more hours passed as the shock and awe over Cyborg's success with the cops subsided. Even Robin, who was always Mister Righteous, had to smile at his colleague's cleverness. As the mood became much more relaxed, Beast Boy pulled a CD case out of his backpack.
"Dude," he said, pulling out a white blank disc. "You've gotta hear this!"
He slid the disc into the car's CD player. As the rhythm boomed from the speakers, Cyborg began to laugh. "Aw, man, is this…?"
"Yeah," Beast Boy giggled back. The two of them began bouncing to the beat and mouthing the words:
Finger fuck your pussy like you want some, girl
Work it like a nigga straight licking on your pearl
I wanna see you cum in the middle of the dance floor
A nigga can't fuck, what you think your finger made for
I'ma beat that pussy up
You get it wet enough, I might lick it up
Lickey, lickey, lickey, like a peppermint swirl
Lick that clit
Cum girl
Uh, I wanna see your legs shake
Take you to the crib, we can fuck til the bed break
Uh, fuck you til your pussy ache
Think about the type right now, girl, mastur-
Uh, uh
Bate for a nigga,
Freak you in the clubs stop worrying about them other hoes
It's me in your world
Work that clit
Cum girl…
"Can we PLEASE put something else on?" Raven groaned. "Something a little less disgusting, preferably."
Beast Boy laughed. "You know Raven, if I weren't so sure you were a lesbian, I'd say this was turning you on…"
"You know Beast Boy, if I weren't so sure you were a complete retard, I'd say I was offended by that," she snapped back.
Robin rolled his eyes, expecting another battle. However, the green changeling merely shrugged, muttered something under his breath, and turned to the window. Meanwhile, he find himself actually getting into the song. This confused him a little, seeing how he was never a big fan of hip hop. Starfire noticed this as well, and smacked him in the head.
"Ow!" he shouted. "What was that for?"
"You should not be thinking vulgar thoughts. On my planet you would have you blorgonth cut off for such suggestiveness," she scolded.
Though he wasn't exactly sure what a blorgonth was, Robin had a vague idea, and shuttered at the notion.
"Good news, everyone," Cyborg said. "We're only about ten miles from the exit."
"Good," Robin smiled. "How about stopping for some lunch?"
Cyborg pulled the car onto the exit ramp and decelerated as they approached an intersection. He stopped at the red light and peered around, trying to find an ideal place to stop. "Okay, guys, here are your options – looks like some Indian place, or a McDonald's. What'll it be?"
"Fuck McDonald's," Raven grumbled. "If I wanted to eat garbage, I'd look for a dumpster."
"Girl's got a point," Beast Boy nodded. "Besides, I'm kinda in the mood from some vegetarian curry."
As the light changed to green, Cyborg turned right and pulled into the parking lot of the Indian restaurant. The lot was empty except for a few beaten-up old cars, and a faded sign that read "Taj Café." The hungry Titans eagerly jumped out of the car and made their way to the door. As a precautionary measure, Robin held on to Starfire's hand, just in case she tried to make friends with any of the cars. She found herself blushing slightly at this, and squeezed his hand affectionately.
The inside of the restaurant, to their surprise, was actually quite nicely decorated. A few paintings of Hindu deities adorned the red and gold walls. On the tables were gold silk napkins and fine china dishes. An elderly man in an olive green robe led them to a booth lined with crimson curtains.
"Dude," Beast Boy snickered, "it's all private in here. I wonder what they're suggesting…?"
"Easy, Beast Boy," said Robin. "You don't want to lose your blorgonth, do you?"
"What?" he said defensively. "I'm just saying. But if they start handing out condoms, THEN we'll know for sure…"
Cyborg shook his head. "Man, nobody's gonna hand out condoms. How many restaurants have you been to where you walked away with a pocket full of Trojans?"
A young Indian woman in red robes placed a large platter in the middle of their table. To each Titan she handed a small, square-shaped plastic package.
"Dude!" Beast Boy yelled, holding up the package proudly. "I TOLD you!"
Raven rolled her eyes. "Haven't you ever seen a moist towellette?"
He tore open the package and peered inside. To his disappointment, Beast Boy pulled out a thin, damp cloth. He then noticed the waitress stared perplexedly at him.
"Oh, heh heh," he laughed nervously. "I'm sorry. I thought you were…advocating…safe sex."
She smiled shyly. "Oh, no. This is a family-friendly restaurant. I am sorry."
"Oh, okay," he replied, finding his confidence increase. "Cuz I was just gonna ask you for another one."
Then she did something none of them was expecting – she giggled. "Somebody is quite eager," she laughed flirtatiously.
Raven rolled her eyes. "You have no idea. Try living with him."
"You are all living together, yes? Are you all family to one another?" she asked.
"Well, we all live together, but we're not related," Cyborg replied.
"Ah," she said. "You are not from around here, correct?"
"Nah, out-of-towners all the way," said Beast Boy. "We're just on our way to this lakeside cabin for a weekend."
"Which lake?" she asked curiously.
"Crowley," he replied.
"Well," she said, realizing she should get back to work, "I shall bring you some appetizers if you would like."
"Sure," said Robin. "What's good here?"
"Do you enjoy spicy?" she asked.
Beast Boy grinned, trying to impress her. "The more the merrier, gorgeous."
"Very well," she nodded. She whisked away toward the kitchen, her long robes flowing behind her.
Raven reached her arm back, looking for something in the back of her robe. She pulled out a box of cigarettes and took a small white stick out of it. With the stick balancing on her lips, she pulled out a yellow lighter. "We can smoke in here, right?" she asked. Not waiting for a reply, she flicked the lighter and lifted the tiny flame to the end of her cigarette.
Robin sighed. "Damn it, Raven. How many times have I told you to quit that crap?"
"I quit smoking reefer!" she said defensively. "Shit, what more do you want from me? I need to have something to help calm me down." She sucked on the cigarette for a few seconds before exhaling a cloud of smoke. "Ah," she sighed contently. "This is even better than sex."
The Titans began picking bits of food from the gigantic platter on their table. Since they were all quite hungry by that point, the food disappeared almost immediately. Not a minute later, the young waitress replaced the platter with an even larger one.
About an hour and three platters later, the Titans paid and were about to leave. Robin and Beast Boy headed for the men's room, telling the other three to meet them at the car in a few minutes. They strolled into the men's room, and as Robin was about to park himself at a urinal, he felt Beast Boy's hand on his chest.
"Dude," he said, "you think you can hold it for a few? I mean, I just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable…you know…next to me…cuz I don't want someone to walk in and start comparing our goods and seeing my rather large stature…you know…next to yours…and making you feel bad…"
Robin chuckled quietly to himself. "Whatever, Beast Boy. I'm pretty confident, but if it makes you feel better, then go ahead." He stepped back politely, leaning against the wall.
As Beast Boy began doing his business, a man and his young son walked in. The boy stood at the urinal next to Beast Boy and peered up at him curiously. The changeling noticed the young admirer, and smiled proudly, certain that the child was most impressed. It was then he heard the young boy turn to his father and ask the question guaranteed to shatter any man's pride:
"Daddy, how come his pee-pee's the same size as mine?"
"Shut up, Robin!" he snapped as they walked out of the restaurant. "Just shut up!"
Robin, laughing uncontrollably, stopped to gasp for breath and say, "That had to be the funniest thing I've ever seen!"
"It wasn't funny, damn it! Shut up and stop laughing, you fuck!"
They made their way back to the car, and to their rather confused friends. Robin wiped the tears from his eyes as he slid between Starfire and Raven. Beast Boy, meanwhile, climbed quickly into his seat, slammed the door, and grumbled under his breath. He remained shockingly silent as Robin recounted the events of the men's room to the other Titans.
"You're an asshole, Robin!" Beast Boy snarled.
Cyborg shook his head laughing. "Relax, B. That was nothing. Remember that time you and Terra made that Internet porno?"
It was a normal night in Titans Tower. Beast Boy and Terra cuddled peacefully on the couch watching TV. He pulled her closer and turned her head to face him. They leaned ever so close when…
"Freeze!"
A group of about twenty FBI agents stormed the living room and ripped them apart. They threw Terra on the ground and clamped handcuffs on her.
"Miss Markov," said one agent, "you are under arrest. We have acquired Internet footage of you having sexual relations with a prepubescent minor."
"Dude!" Beast Boy yelled. "I'm eighteen!"
The agent paused. "Well," he shrugged, "I guess maybe he just shaves…"
Beast Boy shrugged. "Yeah, whatever. But I still say it wasn't funny!"
"Please," Starfire asked Robin innocently, "what is this 'hole of ass' and why does the Beast Boy associate you with this hole?"
"Can we go now?" Raven grumbled.
With that, Cyborg pulled the car out of the parking lot and turned back onto the main freeway.
Again, sorry it took me so long to update this. I haven't had Internet access very much lately, and, like I said, I've spent a lot of time fucking my boyfr- I mean, cramming for finals.
Peace, Love, and All Things Rock,
Terra the Masterful