A/N: I know it's been a long time since I've written, but I was in the school play and shortly after went on a trip for school. I was very busy, but I have a new chapter up. Note: Has strong language.

The day after the kiss, Manny didn't speak to me at all. It didn't bother me, the first time it happened, but after about a week I began to get suspicious. Usually, if she went any length of time without talking to me, she called at some random time and made it up to me in her own twisted way. Perhaps skipping class to kiss in the parkdidn't quitemade up for the manic-depressive nature of our relationship, but that was Manny for you. She didn't tell you straight out what she was feeling (like Marco,) and she didn't always have a life situation that reflected her behavior (Sean.) She was just unpredictable, and not always in a good way.

I remember I was in the cafeteria, buying lunch, when I saw an angry Paigestorm away from Spinner. Of course, not being a part of their group, I had no clue what was going on. But by the next day, even I was informed.

I overheard the truth when I saw Ashley and Hazel trying to comfort Paige out by her locker. Normally, whentheytalked, I stayed out of the way. But something in the conversationcaught my attention"I can't believe she did it again," Ashley said furiously, slamming her locker door shut. "God…first to me, then to you. Boys always go for tramps like her, it doesn't even matter what kind of person you are..."

"Ashley, it's not like that, okay," Paige sobbed. "I crashed his car. He had a right to be mad."

"But not to treat you the way he did," Hazel objected, joining the conversation. "Or to go after Manny while you were still dating."

My heart stopped, and my body froze where I was standing. Although Ashley had a tendency to exaggerate about Manny's wrongdoings, but I couldn't pretend to be the expert on her life. "Did you say Manny?" I asked, turning to face them.

"What?" Ashley asked, noticing too late that I had joined the conversation.

I shrugged. "I just wanted to know who you were talking about."

"That slut, Manny," Ashley snapped. "She stole Spinner away from Paige."

Paige just continued to cry, so Hazel was kind enough to explain it to me. "Manny and Spinner got a bit too close at that carwash Paige didn't go to. He got in a fight with Craig last night, and accused Craig of being jealous that Manny liked him. So…yeah…you could say Manny has something to do with it. I can't believe Spinner."

My hand covered my mouth, so I wouldn't reveal which member of the scandalous couple I was upset with. "I can't believe Spinner did that to you," I said. "I'm…really sorry…Paige," I finished lamely. "Well…I have to go."

I walked away, trying to stay calm, and I waited to let out my rage until I found Manny, talking to Emma by her locker.

"Manny," I sighed heavily.

"Yeah?" she asked, looking up.

"I need to talk to you," I said firmly.

"Well, class is about to start," Emma reminded me. "So, you guys might want to wait."

I shook my head. "Skipping classes never bothered her before," I said, shifting my gaze from a startled Emma, and shooting Manny a piercing glance, "We're going to talk now," I insisted.

Manny laughed lightly, and shook her head. "About what?" she asked innocently.

I was so tired of always working on her schedule. All my life, I had let other people call the shots. My mother, my friends, my boyfriends, and now Manny, the girl who thought she could save me from a cycle she was quickly becoming a part of. I didn't care if the whole school was talking by tomorrow. I just had to talk to Manny, and getmy explanation.

The warning bell rang overhead, and students around us began to hasten in their steps. "Can't this wait?" Emma asked nervously. "I mean…class is about to…"

Manny sighed. "You're right. Emma, you go to class. I think this is important."

She thought? How could anyone not know for sure if their own girlfriend…their relationship was important?

Emma rolled her eyes. "Don't be too long," she sighed. "Because I'm not going to cover for you if you're late."

Manny nodded, and followed me outside. "So, what did your friends tell you I did this time?" she asked lethargically.

"My friends may not be perfect, Manny, but they don't usually lie about this sort of thing. I mean…I hope they are," I said, beginning to stroll as I spoke. "But…they say that you're the reason Paige and Spinner broke up. That he used you to cheat," I finished. "And…I just want to know what's going on with you. You haven't talked to me all week, and so I don't really know what to think right now."

My heart was racing. Was this really worth it?

Manny shook her head again. "And what do you expect me to do? Tell everyone we're dating? Were you planning to take me to the next dance? Honestly, Elle, if we're trying to keep this a secret, we've got to at least play along with their expectations."

I was appalled. "And why do we have to keep it a secret? I don't even know what the hell is going on with you, or with me. I knew I was straight; it was the one thing about me that wasn't different from everyone else. But then you came along and now I…"

"I'll tell you what the problem is," Manny said. "It's more your problem than anything."

"And what would that be?" I asked.

Manny sighed. "You think that you were just the innocent little straight girl who had nothing to do with this, and you were so ashamed that you'd do anything to hide it. But now that I'm trying to cover for you, you have to find some way to turn it into something else to hurt over."

"Manny, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" I shrieked, trying not to cry. "Don't you dare act like you're doing this all for us. You're just like everyone else, you're using me and then making it my fault when I get hurt."

Manny shrugged. "Maybe yes, maybe no. But what are you going to do about it?"

I hated how she used my inability to speak out against me. "I…I'll…I don't think I want to date someone who's cheating on me," I said. "And pretends I don't exist. Who skips class tomake out withme one minute and ignores me the next."

Manny rolled her eyes. "Did you honestly think we were serious?"

Finally, the impact of everything that had happened sunk in. She wasn't just trying to cover up our relationship. She was inconsistent because she didn't care about it. Or me. That just made it worse. It wasn't anything I had done, or said, that made her dislike me. It was just me, every fiber of my being that made me wrong for the only person who still seemed to care. I got my explanation, and it made more sense than believing that she was simply afraid, or ashamed. All along, she hadn't really cared.

"What are you saying Manny?" I asked, biting my upper lip to fight the tears that were readily waiting in the corners of my eyes.

"I think you know what I'm saying," she said. "Face it. No matter what you want, or what I want, girls go with guys. That's just how it is. We can go on pretending that it's different, but when the dances come around, the girls get asked by guys. We bring boys home to our parents, and those boys become men and they marry us. I'm already an abortionist, and I don't want to be a lesbian on top of that."

I started to feel sick. "You were so upset with me for being ashamed of you. Now…you're saying we can't be together because it doesn't look right?"

Manny sighed again. "Do you want to have your mother see you walking down the aisle with another woman? Do you want to raise a kid who has to fake his family tree because you couldn't be like everybody else? Do you want your kid not to have friends because no one wants to go to your house and catch gay from you?"

I thought about it. If I married a girl, I would have to deal with all of those things. But what would I do without Manny? A small part of me felt like I was free, and there was no way I could go back to Sean. But the rest of me wanted to cry back to him, and return to something stable.

"Manny, I can't go back," I shrieked.

"I never said you had to," she sighed.

I was completely mortified. "So you mean…you're just going to keep pretending with me while Spinner isn't looking? No…"

"But what else are you going to do?" she demanded. "That's how people like us have to live. We hide."

"No," I said. "What about Marco and Dylan? They don't..."

"What about them?" Manny asked.

A/N: Next chapter coming soon.