WHAT YOU TASTE LIKE
Lol P Please be kind. It's my first fanfic, so I made it oneshot.
He was lost, unseen and not seeing, unheard and not hearing, unknown by others. The same innocence, trust, and restlessness: the wonder, fear, and loneliness. The darkness within is where the untempered passions lie and the bright truth to light his mind is concealed in an endless dark hole. He remembered everything that happened that day because it happened too many times in his life.
Fuji Syusuke stood outside in the pouring rain. The water showering down seemed to be the only natural aspect that pleased him. Always, the trickle of clear liquid could cover up his face when he cried and it could wash away his emotions when he was depressed. And it could silently listen to his thoughts that crowd around the back of his head most of the days. The rain could take those thoughts, bring it out from deep within and clear his mind.
But the rain could never answer the most stressful thing he wanted to forget. It could never give him what he truly wanted and it could not possibly grant him Tezuka either.
It could only be a miracle if that happened. Only a miracle. Fantasy; that was it.
And the rain couldn't give him Yuuta either. It couldn't give him comfort, love, and care. Of all the things the rain could do, it couldn't do what were most important to Fuji. And for that, Fuji could only hope, hope for a miracle without the rain to listen to him.
Thus, Fuji waited; hope lumping in his heart and diminishing as time reaches infinity. He waited, day after day, month after month, year after year. The longer the wait, the more hope seemed to be impossible. And the more that dominated his life, the more he pondered about hope.
Could he stop to hope, he stopped to wish for the impossible. And could he stop impossibility, he would stop to hope. Neither way did he ever reach a miracle.
But again today, he waits. He stands out in the rain, hoping again, waiting again, just as he had always done before.
He still waits and he still believes.
Perhaps today, the rain will finally listen to him.
"Ne Tezuka, have you ever tasted sakura leaves?"
Tezuka zipped up his bag and in a smooth move, hung it over his left shoulder. Without hesitating to even glance up, he responded. "Iya."
Fuji smiled as he stood by the doorway. A little chuckle escaped from his throat. "Hontou? I've tasted redwood leaves before. I wonder how the leaves on sakura trees might be like."
At this, Tezuka didn't bother Fuji any further. He walked past him and swiftly stepped out the locker room. "Ja Fuji."
That would be a typical conversation between the two.
Yet it seemed that they both didn't need many words. A few phrases already told each other everything. A few looks, twitches, or gestures could easily be deciphered for meaning beyond the surface. Many observers considered them as "respected classmates," but the Seigaku regulars knew better to refer to them as "the most unique best of friends."
It had always been an unexplainable relationship. No one could quite comprehend them as well, could never place them together in a visual manner. They would stand next to each other during tennis practices. They would run side by side, lapping around the court. They would walk to the locker room together, wait for each other in the morning at the school front entrance, and sitting down at a close distance in the classes they have together. And all the time, not one word was spoken between the two, that is, only at the end of the day when they would watch the sunset, Fuji always ready with his camera.
But that wasn't all there is. All the while, it was comfort they shared and quietness with the other's presence. It was Tezuka's stoic attitude and Fuji's mysterious smile. It was Tezuka's lack of participant in conversing and Fuji's acknowledgement to that. Tezuka never refused anything Fuji requested or made, unless it was literally sarcasm. He never argued with him or opposed any of his ideas. And Fuji never tried to talk with Tezuka when he needed some silence and peace. It was simply understanding.
However, Fuji wanted more. He wanted to take a step further, to have better, to have a little more than what he had now. Sometimes, he thought that he may be a bit too greedy. In reality, Tezuka did not take notice of this. All Fuji really meant to him was a friend, a really close friend, not close, not friend, but a close friend. Hints of being with Tezuka every part of the day were realized as an aspect of pure friendship. Yet Fuji just found himself selfishly wishing he could get a little more than that from Tezuka. A bit beyond friendship, a step bit forward, a little deeper where a "true" relationship lies.
One time Tezuka was picking out books in the library to check out. While organizing his books together, a gentle pale hand reached over and picked one off that fell onto the floor. He didn't need to eye the man to know who he was.
"Fuji."
Fuji gave Tezuka his famous smile. "Ne? Tezuka-buchou is doing homework today."
Tezuka gave Fuji an expressionless look, then focused back on his work. He sat down and opened the first book, a thin one that he decided to start off with.
Fuji propped the book in his hand onto the table. "Physics huh? So it's about the magnetic field and its properties eh?" He pointed to the title, The Factory of a Magnet. He chuckled melancholy. "I know a bit about this. You need some help?"
"Iya," came the stern response.
Fuji kneeled down on the ground and cross his arm on the table, his head propped on top, looking up into Tezuka's eyes. "Demo, ne Tezuka. You know, a magnet has two sides, a north pole and a south pole."
Tezuka began jotting down some notes into his notebook. Fuji knew he was listening anyhow and he also knew that Tezuka expected him to go on. So he did.
"It's interesting you know. A north pole and a south pole are different, but they attract each other. Yet two north poles repel each other as do two south poles. Irregular ne?" Fuji questioned. "Two of the same kinds oppose one another and one of each different kind easily join together."
"Hm." Again, no reaction, but expecting of continuation was still evident.
A pause and then Fuji sighed. "It's like a male and a female ne? It is always logical that the girl and the guy have likes for one another."
Tezuka slowed his writing.
"And two girls or two guys together. That's impossible, isn't it?"
The pen stopped moving. The glow in Fuji's eyes faded. The world almost seemed to turn upside down. Perhaps this was the extent of their relationship. A barrier blocked infinity; the end existed as a restriction.
And that was all there is to make the friendship a little uneasy. That was all it took. Fuji found the relationship quite unsteady. A little confusion here and everything fell. For of course, their bond remained intact to understanding each other, so when one fails to do so, the other does too, and in the end, it was as if the two did not exist together ever. And Fuji did not want that. He wanted more, but he did not want to leave Tezuka.
And so, Fuji did what was left of him to do. Wait and hope.
"Tezuka?"
They already rounded up the hill. Hiking everyday became a routine for the two of them, especially since each time, it was for the sake of watching the sunset. Fuji noted that each sunset was unique, that one time cannot explain the whole general quality of the sky at sunset. Tezuka found it childish how Fuji could always get excited at this time of the day, even thought they done this each and every day for the past few years already. In addition, Fuji insisted he bring his camera, each time to take photographs.
"Each picture is like a snowflake that falls into the lake. When the snowflake touches the water, it disappears, just like the sunset. It disappears everyday. That's why I'm going to take a picture of the sunset before it sets and goes away."
Today, they started early. Fuji urged Tezuka that they were always a bit off before and that today, he wanted to see the sunset at its highest peak, at its prettiest sight. Of course, Tezuka did not object. He never did, or at the least, he let out a small grunt.
They sat down on the grass as always, looking out toward the sky. It was a beautiful day, the wind was perfect, the air was cool, and the humidity was just in the right range. It was then that Fuji let Tezuka's name slip out.
"Fuji." It was a recognition of being called upon.
He let the wind brush his hair and tangle it into a mess. "Ne Tezuka. Would you like to try a taste of sakura leaves?"
There was no reply.
Fuji stood up and walked over to the tree behind them, them plucked down two large lovely leaves and sat back down next to Tezuka, handing one over. Tezuka did not reach out to take the offer, though he glanced at Fuji for a moment. Fuji's face was propped right next to his.
"Ne ne Tezuka. Don't be like this. You won't know how it tastes like unless you give it a try." With that, Fuji bit down on his leaf and began chewing it, his smile wide and beautiful on his dazzling face.
Reluctantly, Tezuka took his piece of leaf and bit down a piece of it. Fuji chuckled.
"Maa Tezuka. How is it?"
Tezuka shook his head. "Bitter." Fuji laughed again.
But even so, each of them finished their leaf before the sun had completely set down. Fuji did not say another word and neither did Tezuka complain about the taste of the sakura leaf anymore. Perhaps, the bond of understanding each other was still there.
Perhaps, Fuji thought, there was still hope.
"Which tastes better?"
Fuji's ears perked up. The silence had grew so deep that he found himself shocked to hear Tezuka quietly ask him a question.
"Ne? What do you mean?"
"The redwood or the sakura tree. You said you tasted redwood before. Which tastes better?" Tezuka's eyes remained focused on the horizon in the distance. Fuji smiled again, as if his thoughts were taking him over the sunset, flying out toward his high hopes. Need he wait anymore?
"Ah, the redwood leaf was shinier. The wood was redder, darker and more royal. The leaf reflected that image. It was sugary, and full of delight."
Another pause.
"The sakura leaf was tasteless. Just as the tree is, the dull color, the old bitterness. I didn't find it as pretty as a redwood." Silence.
And because of the silence, it surprised Tezuka that Fuji had not finished. "But I like the sakura tree better, even though the leaf tasted like anything but delicious."
"Why?" It was only then that Tezuka thought he had the responsibility of asking.
At first, he didn't think that Fuji heard him and so, didn't bother to ask again. Fuji remained silent and for the first time, Tezuka felt a little uncomfortable. It was hard to clarify, but somehow, he felt as if he didn't want to be there at the time. Maybe it was about time to head back home. The sun had already set down and the clouds grew gray now, accompanied with the chilly wind and the dark sky.
But before he could let out a word, Fuji suddenly spoke, his little voice barely audible to Tezuka's ears.
"Because you were here with me. You ate the leaf just as I did."
The echo did not leave Tezuka's ear and he figured it probably wouldn't for another century.
Because you were here with me…You ate the leaf just as I did…
Because you were here with me…
Because…you…
"Did you like it? The sakura leaf?"
Tezuka, still frozen to the spot, decided to take his time on that question. And Fuji knew. He waited for an answer, something he has gotten used to. Fuji wondered how long he must would live like this. He wondered if hope was even possible. He wondered if anything he hoped for was possible. Probably everything, everything could be achieved, except this one. Except for…
"Iya."
Fuji looked up at Tezuka. Tezuka wasn't done yet.
"I didn't like it."
A pause. An uneasy silence filled the sky and the gap between the two.
Fuji turned back and stared out across the land once again. That's right, he thought. Keep hoping, keeping dreaming, keeping wishing. One day, maybe one day, just maybe…
So was it even possible?
It was…
"But I like you."
Fuji felt as if a boulder had just hit him in the head. It wasn't all so awful, but it took him merely by surprise. All of a sudden, all the burden, all the anxiousness, all the terrified and frustrated feelings he had endured for so long, they all just suddenly vanished, as if the load was taken off of his shoulders. He felt light, relieved, and…and…
Fuji looked up and gasped, seeing how close Tezuka's face was to his.
And the next minute, the space between them had closed together. All the while, Fuji took notice of the small little things. Perhaps sakura leaves didn't taste as well, its color didn't even show that much and redwood trees taste a bit better, its sugary taste assisted that. But...
...A precious buncake, sweet with a good clean taste...
You taste so good, Tezuka.
OWARI
Author's Notes: Ne, I hope it didn't come out so bad XD Literally, some of the pharses here, especially most of the first paragraph came from my English class book called "Joy Luck Club." I found much of the creativity very useful
So please tell me how you think of this.