Lately it's so Quiet
Quatre stood alone in the hold of the ship his gaze fixed on Wing Zero. Trowa was with them again. His memories were gone… almost completely. They had come across him again… during an attack. Trowa had left the girl claiming to be his sister and joined the five Gundam pilots in the life a solider once more. It was cold down there with the Gundams. Quatre's eyes seemed far away as he gazed at the machine that had driven him to madness.
"What I did to him…"
"OOOOIIII! Quatre!"
Quatre was startled, visibly stiffening, his body jumping slightly.
"What are you doing down there!"
It was Duo. His braid fell over one of his shoulders as he leaned, heavily over the guardrail high above Quatre. He had a playful face, he hardly ever looked serious. He was cute… so different than Heero. Who would have thought that those two… and Relena… how confusing Quatre thought. He never could have handle the jealousy and questions stirred up by the triangle between those three. Could such a problem arise with this Catherine Trowa had mentioned?
Quatre shook the thought away.
"Nothing, I was just…"
Duo's eyes seemed a little troubled.. was he fighting with Heero again… was he here to escape? Was Quatre in the way again?
"It won't do you any good to mope like this." Duo flopped on the rail, his arm dangling downward to grab the end of his braid, "It's worrying me…"
"Huh?"
"Oh nothing… Things will work out. You love each other more then anybody else will ever love each other. Well… here at least…"
"Duo, what…"
"Hey! Don't you play music or something?"
"Well, yes but I…"
"It doesn't seem right… I know you love music. You never play anymore. I think it would do you good."
"… Alright."
"Ok! Good!" Duo smiled brightly… he always smiled… it seemed forced sometimes.
Quatre walked up the long flight of stairs. Duo ruffled his hair as he passed. As he was walking to the room were he kept his violin he saw Trowa. He looked the other way and pretended he hadn't seen him. He couldn't face Trowa. Noin constantly scolded him. Moping won't help seemed to be the message he was receiving… but what could he do?
He sighed and put his violin case one the table that was sometimes used for chess. The clasps on the black case felt heavy, they were stiff from a lack of use. They snapped back with a loud crisp click. The hinges on the case creaked slightly as he opened and looked down on his violin. It was a good instrument, heavily used but true in pitch and sound quality. It was the violin he had been playing when Trowa first stayed at his home. When they played together. He remembered what it had felt like when Trowa had left him that day. He had wanted to run after him… but he held back. He had known they would meet again. They had.
Now Trowa was with him… on the same ship, but he was farther away than he had ever been.
Quatre sighed and raised the bow of his violin. As it moved across the strings the sound was sad and low. He had found it difficult to play anything happy. The sounds that came forth as his fingers pressed down the chords on the neck of the instrument were sad. Minor Keys… slow, slow tempos… they were sweetly heart breaking. As he played, He felt eyes on his back. He ignored them… it was probably Noin, poised to complain about the tone of the piece.
"What happened between us, Quatre."
It was not Noin. He would recognize that smooth low voice anywhere. He nearly dropped his instrument, but caught himself.
"What do you mean?"
"No one will tell me about you or me or how we knew each other."
"What makes you think that…" Quatre wouldn't look at him… he had to keep composure.
"Because you.. you won't even look at me. No one else seems so unfriendly…"
"Trowa… that's not…"
"What did I do? I… I don't know but I… I don't want you to hate me."
"Trowa…" It was strange for Trowa to act like this… he was never this nervous… he…
"I… I'm sorry. I'll let you continue."
He started to turn to leave. Quatre was too shocked to move at first. Trowa seemed so vulnerable… It was unsettling.
"No!" Quatre snapped out of his shock induced stupor and he ran to hug Trowa around the waste, "No, your wrong! I don't hate you! Oh, Trowa! I could never, ever hate you."
It was Trowa's turn to be surprised. He had not expected this of Quatre, who seemed calm and composed (if cold and melancholy). The blonde boy squeezed Trowa tightly, his face invisible to the other boy. His body began to shake slight and it slowly became clear to the green-eyed youth that the beautiful boy who was clinging to him was crying. Trowa hesitantly put his arms around him, gently holding Quatre to him.
When he felt Trowa's arms around him, Quatre's slow tears erupted into full sobs. He desperately clung to the tall boy's back. He couldn't control himself anymore. It had hurt so bad to keep away from him. He didn't want to upset Trowa! He had thought Trowa must have hated him… he didn't even remember what happened.
"My god, Trowa! I'm so sorry!" Quatre cried into Trowa's chest, "This is all my fault!"
"What are you talking about, Quatre?… you…"
"It was me!" Quatre's voice hiccupped slightly, "It was my fault! I did this to you! You always loved me, you never questioned me and you stayed with me and supported me… and Trowa you were always so wonderful! You thought I was an angle, it seemed but… but I… I ALMOST KILLED YOU, TROWA!"
"Quatre…"
"You might have died… and it was my fault… I knew… I knew… Oh, Trowa!"
Quatre pulled away from him, covering his face with his hands. His eyes stung with tears and his voice was hoarse and sore. Trowa just looked at him, he could not believe what he had heard. Quatre had tried to kill him? Surely not intentionally… It couldn't be.
"Oh, Trowa…" Quatre looked up and the tall handsome boy. "I still love you, more than anything else... I love you…" He reached up and touched Trowa's face.
He kissed him softly, but Trowa was too shocked to respond. Quatre hadn't expected the kiss to be returned. The tearstained boy stepped back, then turned away.
"… but I know there is no way you could love me anymore."