Disclaimer: Weiss… not mine… end of story… not the story below though (chuckles!)
Thank You so much for the reviews...
Ah, minna san, gomenasai ne? It been over two months ne? Ya think I died and gone to hell? (chuckles! not quite dead yet but you could say I've been in hell) Did anyone miss me? No? (pouts) Well I got sick… literally and figuratively. In fact I've caught the cold again. Sigh! Life's been bitchin' so I had to hibernate from civilization for a while. My 5-year old system crashed when I came back, which is both good and bad… bad coz all my files, which I forgot to backup went poof (schoolpapers, artworks, stories) and I had to rewrite everything, I got behind my school work… and good coz I finally learned the value of back up cds and my folks got me a new one as an advanced Christmas present… which is bad coz I'm not getting anything else from them this Christmas… sobs… oh well…enough mumbo jumbo...here is the re-written chapter 3 which came out a bit different from the lost original…
Warning! Angst ahead… okay maybe not so much… also some language… and do forgive the slightly philosophical aura of this chap… got carried away…(chuckles!)
A lot of thank yous for the reviews... And if by some miracle you guys are still here and reading this... here's to the reviewers...
To my long time reader:HeavenGoddess: You still there girl? or have you lost patience with me? Chuckles.Thank youso muchfor the review. Sorry it took so long. About the beta... does the offer still stand?
To rebelyell59: thank you for not throwing anything for now... chuckles
To Valsha: Thanks. Yeah i know Schuldich is Mastermind but i'd like to think he'd make Youji berserkin bed (Chuckles! author hit in the head by apaperfan by a certain irritable monkfor having mind in the gutters...)
To hiro: thanks.schu will be dessert for? quite some time in this little ficcie...
To Moon without a Sun: I agree... i feel bad for kenken too... but somehow a sadistic streak comes out when i write plots for my favorite charas. Oh and one review will be fine thanks... chuckles...
To boxX: well, i love Ken angst. Can you blame me? I thinks he's quite pretty when he cries... love that pic of him under therain inthe ending song "It's Too Late"
To S3: How long? Until i find a way to make Ran suffer for a change? chuckles
To bffimagine: complicated that a cat wound in a ball of yarn? that's one way of seeing it... interesting... chuckles
To Gillian Sillis: so sorry... see reason's above...my life's been comlicated lately... i've just managed to uncomplicate it last week... chuckles... anyways, if i don't update within the next two weeks, you're free to sic shi-ne modeRan on me or something... chuckles
To Comtess, Murasaki Yanagi, Sachiko, Rosefaerietalered (that is such a long name), Kiori133, Blackdrak, NIX: Thanks so muh for the reviews... hope you enjoyed and hope your still interested enough to read and review?
A/N: You are so gonna hate me for this part…probably… and for the following chaps as as well as the plot thickens to torture poor little Kenken to the brink of… (secret!)…
Okay this crazy author just gonna deepen that hole dug before and will be crawling in so as to avoid unidentified flying thingies from all directions… enjoy… or be annoyed… (chuckles!)
Do read and review!
Sweet Nothing
Chapter 03 Lacrimae Rerum
The moon was full and the sky was clear. The bright constellations graced the night sky like abstract symbols on a blank canvas. It made the perfect backdrop for midnight walks, romantic outdoor dates, and other intimate interludes. Paradoxically, it was also a mocking milieu of sorts. Especially for the brokenhearted fools who believed in the power of that clichéd idea of love. It could be likened to an illusionary oasis in the middle of a vast scorching desert at midday. Beautiful, tempting, haunting… but out of reach… and never really there at all.
Hopeless romantics would say that love could conquer everything. That it would be able to heal any pain. That love could be enough… a pillar of strength and a source of happiness. Love could create miracles.
The more cynical ones would say that love would only bring pain and complication. Love was for the weak. To love was to suffer. It was better to be alone. Or for the more bitter, love was just plain bullshit.
Love was just a concept, a state of mind. Humans as a whole were fickle-minded. One minute they spout the sappiest things, then they would be spitting venom the next. Everything was about choices and decisions. To love was a decision. To be brokenhearted was a choice.
Someone once said that "no one can hurt you without your consent." And yet, even if one were rational enough to agree to that, why does it continue to hurt? Why do people keep on allowing themselves to feel the pain? Why are there so many bloody martyrs for love? Are people masochistic by nature?
Or maybe love was without reason. It's but the spontaneity of human nature. After all, there are those who claimed that one cannot choose who they fall in love with. It just happens. Well then maybe the world will go to hell tomorrow…
These were not coherent thoughts.
But then again, he was anything but lucid at the moment.
He was going past sixty…seventy… eighty… ninety kilometers per hour and still rising… The chilly night air seemed to permeate even through his thin,white log sleeved shirt. He steered his motorbike like a madman through the deserted highway, riding with unseeing eyes. If one could see beyond the dark shaded helmet, one would see the free flowing liquid cascading from deep blue green eyes.
It hurts. It fucking hurts. And it was all his fucking fault. There's always been that ridiculous creed about men and tears. But here he was, beyond caring. Beyond reason. Beyond control.
Hence the tears.
He wanted to scream but it would only be muffled by his damn helmet anyway. He wanted to shake his fists at fate or pulverize something, but these acts would impede his driving down the narrow, twisted, highway at ludicrous velocities. So he settled for the tears. Who cares if he's driving blind?
He had been an idiot and he knew it. What was even sadder was that everyone around him had known this as well, but no ever bothered to mention it to him. Still it was his call. He took the risk.
In the end, was it worth it?
No.
It wasn't.
It never was.
Had that throbbing organ on his left chest not constricting his goddamn breathing every other second, he would have laughed.
At himself.
At his predicament.
At the whole world.
Oh wait. The whole world came crushing down on him.
Or at least, his version of his whole world.
When did he becoming so damn introspective?
Oh yeah, since the day he decided to take the plunge to hell.
And now, he knew how his victims felt when he accomplished his work. He now had a vague idea ofwhat it felt like to consciously take those razor sharp bugnuks and bury them deep into his body, pullingthe razor sharp clawsdown, not quickly like in missions, but ever so slowly, feeling the weapon break every fiber of clothing and skin, through the muscles and the veins, and breaking bones. All these, without spilling a drop of blood.
Flashback
He knew the moment he woke up that it was not going to be a good day. Nervousness and anticipation warred within him. Even as the weather seemed to smile down upon the mundane world, an unsettling feeling stayed with him all through the day. And with a good reason to, as proven by the events that evening.
It was Sunday. The quaint little flowershop was closed. This gave Ken Hidaka some time to make the evening extra special.
Why?
Well, tonight was going to behis third month anniversary with Ran. He enlisted Aya-chan's help to distract her big brother for the day. And tonight Aya was thoughtful enough to ask one of her friends for a sleepover. Ken thought affectionately that the girl was really one of a kind.
He got movie passes to some Italian art flick that Aya told him her brother wants to see. Hell, he couldn't even pronounce the words in the ticket. But hey, this night's more for the redhead than him. Then again, the whole relationship's all about Ran. And with this line of thought, he felt that sour acidic sensation gnawing at his gut for the umpteenth time that day.
He already prepared all of Ran's favorites for dinner, took a bath and dressed a little bit more properly for the night. That meant no denims, no sweatshirts or soccer jerseys. Meaning he had to buy some new clothes. As he fitted his outfit for the night, he wondered if he made the right decision of enlisting the help of Aya and Youji together. Granted they finally opted for a simple, white, loose, long sleeved, silk polo shirt, but did they have to coerce him to buy and wear that tight, tight, did he mention tight, black leather pants? Damn, but the leather's way too tight for his tastes.
No boxer of his is gonna fit on these pants. And he'd rather die than take Mr. Casanova's advice of wearing athong. Oh what to do? What to do?
He styled his hair the way Youji taught him how. So now, for the first time in his young, troubled existence, he wore… hair gel.
Damn. All these things, all these sacrifices, for a bastard whocan't seem to appreciate all the effort that he had given to this very dysfunctional relationship of theirs... that's enough to make normal, rational people to question whether it's worth it.
Sigh.
Ken had always thought that it was. Ran was worth everything.
Damn was he wrong.
Aya-chan knocked on his door half an hour early. The enthusiastic young lady greeted him with a charming smile and offered to help him set up dinner at their apartment. They carried the food and the wine and the flowers back to the apartment of the Fujimiya siblings. Of course Aya-chan's eagerness to help had absolutely nothing to do with the boxed inari-zushi, egg roll, and fresh octopus salad that Ken packed for her sleepover tonight. No, she was wishing from the goodness of her heart for her brother's and her friend's happiness. Food had absolutely nothing to do with it. Nope. Absolutely nothing.
The trek to the apartment seemed to take eternity to the brunette. He felt his hands shake a bit and hisknees seemed to wobble slightly every now and then.
And the moment Aya-chan opened the door…
Ken felt his world just fell apart. It's an overly used expression to describe how a person would have felt when he justhad his heart broken in an instant, but it was a very apt description.
Because there in the room was his lover passionately shoving his tongue down someone else's throat.
Because there in the room was one of his best friends pushed up against the wall.
Because there in the room was nightmare coming to life.
Because there in the room was the realization of what a farce everything had been.
Because there in the room was where the pieces of his battered heart scattered on the floor.
As the carefully boxed and lovingly prepared dishes fell down from trembling hands.
As the bottle of expensive red wine came crashing on the white rug.
As a neatly wrapped gift found its way to the floor.
As Aya's shocked gasp pierced the night air.
As footsteps were heard running away.
The last thing he heard was Aya screaming…
"Onii-san! Youji! How could you!"
How could you?
How could you?
How could you?
The words echoed in his ears as he ran to his place to get the keys to his bike. Not bothering with a jacket, he ventured into the chill of the night, lightly clothed and in a distraught state of mind. As he was revving up his motor, he saw two tickets peeking out of his shirt pocket. He hastily threw them to the ground and went his way leaving behind a heavy cloud of smoke. He rode for hours, refilled his tank and hit the highways some more. Ah. If only those headlights heading towards him weren't suddenly too bright.
End flashback
"Ah. The night is beautiful don't you think?" Long, slender fingers gripped the steering wheel with such careful hands one would think he was holding fine china or one of his favorite bedmates. But then again he had always treated his car better than his lovers. After all, it's far more expensive than they'll ever be.
"…" Silence greeted him as he took a side glance at his young companion on the front seat.
"You are awfully quiet. Lover's quarrel?" He teased. He knew this young man was seeing someone. Ah. Someone that he thought his colleagues will not approve of.
"Stop probing." Glare and a warning.
"Ah. Should I apologize then?" He countered. He loved seeing people riled up.
"You are quite talkative tonight." His brown haired companion observed while keeping those fine bright eyes on the road..
"Yes I am, aren't I? I suppose it's because I'm getting quite sleepy. And that is not a good thing when one is driving."
"Let me drive then." The brunette said.
"Nice try, but no. The last time you drove, my baby had two scratches on it." He'll never forget that one.
"That wasn't even my fault." The younger one reasoned.
"Kids are so reckless nowadays." He shook his head disapprovingly. "Maybe we should get you one of those little bike toys your catamite is so fond of using."
Glare.
A mobile phone rings and broke the growing inane atmosphere. The driver took the phone out of his pocket and answered.
"Hai?"
"Oh yes we'll be home in about fifteen minutes."
"Yes we brought takeout. And yes we ordered your favorite, your highness."
"I'm driving, you know."
"Yes I'm not going over the speed limit… by much."
"Yes he's beside me looking sulky." A swat. "Hey cool it."
"Hai. Hai. Hai."
"Oh please! Stop sounding like a nagging wife. It doesn't suit you, you tight…"
Screeching brakes. A nasty thud.
"Watch the road!" His companion shouted.
"Oh shit!" Was all he can say.
"You hit someone." Wise ass.
"Oh okay." He said lamely before going back to the phone.
"Uh, what happened you say? Well, I just hit someone. Bye!"
Click.
"My baby's gonna need some repairs. Dammit!" He cursed. He's got hefty insurance, but that is not the freakin' point.
"You hit someone." The person beside him repeated.
"Who cares?" "He bellowed. He could care less. He's baby's damaged.
"I caught him though. But not before he hit his back on the railing." An explanation.
A car door slams.
"Damnfuckinwasteoftime…mybaby'sdentedbad…he'llpayfuckincostofrepairs…"
"Stop grumbling and look at him." Shorter one scolds him from with the car.
"Why the hell should I?" He approaches the unconscious figure anway.
"Well, we're supposed to be reformed." Ignore that.
"Supposed to be…" A smirk.
He focused on the man lying on the ground.
Eyebrows raise slightly.
"What's this? A kitty frolicking in the night?"
He knelt by the inert figure, opened the light shirt, and felt for ay broken bones. Hmm… Maybe a broken rib or two. He lifted the helmet. Ah. No head injuries save for a few bruises. Nothing that will scar. Good. He'd hate to see that pretty face marred. And pretty face it was indeed. And damn will you look those abs. It's a sin to have those abs with that pretty face.
"Is that who I think he is?" His forgotten companion peered curiously from the car window.
The streaks of undried tears thatcovered those pale, cold cheeks added a sense of vulnerable beauty to the unconscious, injured figure under the pale light of the moon. Ah. He's always a sucker for lovely, wounded, fragile looking strays that can put out sharp claws. Pity this one's been marked.
"Kitty cat's been crying. I sense desperation. Ooh. Heartbreak. Yummy." He reveled in the bittersweet taste of sorrow that flashed in his mind. That was one his favorite flavors. His revelry broken by a quiet voice that leaked of impatience.
"Quit picking on his brain. I'm getting quite hungry."
"Okay then, let's go home." He sighed.
"Do I get to drive, now? I won't seem to be able to do much damage to your car anymore."
"Very funny. I'd rather trust our maniacal comrade than you. Now scoot over we're bringing home a new pet."
He lifted the injured body into his arms, blood staining his quite expensive suit. He cursed his luck. It had been his favorite suit.
"Doesn't that one have an owner?"
"Ah yes. But it seems this kitten's master is a bit too careless. Letting such a beautiful breed straying out alone."
"Are we keeping him?"
"We'll see. If his owner wants him back. He'll just have to come and get him from us.
"I don't like that smile." A pause. "Don't you already have a kitten to play with?"
"Well... maybe we'll give him to our very own tight-assed bastard to play with. It'd be nice to see him preoccupied with something other that those dull paperwork and boring meetings he so immersed in these days."
"Hmm… that will be interesting indeed. You are evil Schuldich."
"Why thank you, Nagi. We're taking home another kitten tonight. What will Crawford say? Well, I supposed three out of four won't be too bad."
End Chapter 3
A/N That was short. About 2380 words… oh well… so how was it?
Do review, onegai? It's always appreciated.
Surprised with the chaps end? Hate it? Like it? Do tell... R&R... Thanks!
Ha! eveything's going down... wanna see me torture Ran... or Youji? or poor battered Kenken some more...
As I'm feeling loads better now despite my cold, I'll update again in a week or two. This time that's a promise. Feel free to throw rotten eggs at me when I break it.
Now i'm gonna review lots of fics that i've missed from all my fave series... damn. my hands are gonna ache bad.
I'm gonna update other ficcies soon. An maybe a little One shot Christmas RanKen fic as an apology gift for being gone quite a while... chuckles...
Ja!