Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. If I did, do you really think I'd be driving a truck?
What color?
AN: Have you ever had one of those days where all the little things seem to go wrong and finally someone says something without thinking and you snap at them? All that frustration coming out sideways? I think it happens to most of us sometimes.
Until the End of the World
Chapter 2 – Short Attention Span
'What have I gotten myself into,' I asked myself again as I looked at the paper. I was in my room, trying to find a movie I would like and Beast Boy wouldn't sleep through, or worse – talk through.
Beast Boy and I have grown closer than I thought possible over the last several months. He could still be an immature green pain in my neck at times, but I could no longer deny that he has become my closest friend on the team. The meditation Beast Boy has been doing seems to have done him some good. He's matured some without losing the fun-loving attitude I first liked him for.
It would be a lie to say that Beast Boy was merely an annoying, obnoxious, immature brat. At first I that was all I saw, but I now know that he uses humor to ease the emotional pain he and others feel. I think that may be why he spent so much time trying to get me to smile. I was seldom really in pain, but it was also true that I seldom felt any of my own feelings.
He has always been there for me, even when the others weren't quite sure what to do. 'After Malchior…' I shuddered as I thought that name. But it was Beast Boy who had been there to see if I would be okay. It was Beast Boy who refused to let me just slip back into my shell of isolation.
"Why did I ever agree to go on a date with him?" I muttered to myself, closing the newspaper in frustration. "This is just going to end badly."
'I don't want it to, though,' I thought. Over the last several months it has become increasingly difficult for me to deny the feelings I have for Beast Boy. And since the defeat of my father, I had begun to dare to hope that I could have some of the joy that Robin and Starfire seem to have. And why not him?
'This is hopeless,' I thought. 'Maybe Cyborg or Starfire can help me pick a film.'
With that thought fresh in my head, I slipped the paper under my cloak, and stepped out of my room into the uncomfortably bright hallway, looking for one of my friends.
I was standing in the hallway outside Starfire's room. She was not my first choice to ask about my upcoming date with Beast Boy, but Cyborg was out of the Tower. He'd left a note saying that he was "Shopping for the perfect Turkey" for our upcoming Thanksgiving dinner. And while Cyborg knew Beast Boy at least as well as I did, Starfire knew far more about dating than I.
Nervously, I raised my hand to knock on Starfire's door. After four of the annoyingly metallic "PTing's" most of the Tower doors make, I lowered my hand and waited. Before long, the door slid to the side and I was greeted by Starfire's smiling countenance.
"Friend Raven! What brings you to my room?" Starfire greeted me.
'May as well bite the bullet,' I thought. "Um, Starfire? Can I come in?" I asked. I lowered my voice and continued in a conspiratorial whisper, "I need to 'have the girl talk' with you."
"Glorious!" Starfire beamed as she grabbed my by the arm and hauled me roughly into her room, once again forgetting her own strength. "Friend Raven, why do we need to have the girl talk?" As the door slid closed behind me, Starfire pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.
"Starfire," I choked out. "You're touching me." Even though I worried less about my powers escaping my control, I still had some major issues with personal space.
"Please forgive me, friend Raven," the tawny alien said as she released me from her death hug. "It has been so long since we enjoyed the girl talk and I was overcome with joy. My I ask what we need to have the girl talk on?"
"It's okay, Starfire," I said, as I slowly checked to see that she had done no permanent damage to me. I was surrounded by the overwhelming pinkness of her room, and I gently walked to her bed. "Can you keep a secret? Just a small one for a few days?" I asked tentatively, smoothing the bedspread and sitting down.
"Of course I can, Raven," she said, walking to over and sitting on the carpet in front of me. "What secret do you need me to keep?"
'Here goes,' I thought. "Starfire, I am going out with Beast Boy to a movie. On a date."
"Wonderful! I am so happy for you!" Starfire squealed, and in her joy she floated off the ground. "When did he ask? Which movie are you going to? When are you going?" Her questions came quickly, barely giving herself time to breathe. As she asked, her pet grub Silky crawled across the bed and started nuzzling my hand.
I absently petted Silky as I replied, "He just asked me this afternoon when we got back from our meditation group. And he's letting me pick the film and when we go, which is the problem."
Starfire furrowed her brows briefly and said, "I do not see how this is a problem, friend Raven. You pick a time that you can both go together and a movie you will both like."
I sighed softly. As usual, Starfire saw the nature of the situation, but didn't quite grasp the subtleties that made it a problem for me. I wasn't too surprised, as she was still adapting to our culture. "Starfire, I guess the time isn't really a problem. It's what film to go see." I pulled the paper out from under my cloak and folded it open to the movie listings as I spoke. "The movies that are showing… I'm afraid that the ones I would like, Beast Boy will sleep or talk through. Here, take a look." I handed the paper to Starfire and waited while she looked over the listings.
"What about Wicked Scary: The Sickening?" Starfire asked. "It has just come out and I know that friend Beast Boy liked the first one."
I felt the blood drain out of my face at the mention of that film. It was the only thing I had ever found to be more terrifying than the prophecy I had been born with. "I don't think I would like that movie, Starfire," I said.
"Why not, Raven? We know that Beast Boy would like it, and while you might find it a little scary, I am certain that he would be happy to hold your hand. After all, is that not what you do on dates?"
I felt a little bit of color rush back to my cheeks at the mention of holding Beast Boy's hand, but it was not enough to overcome my desire to avoid all things Wicked Scary. "I'll keep that one in mind. What else do you see playing that he might like?"
Starfire furrowed her brows as she looked over the movies again. "Raven, I truthfully do not see anything else that I believe Beast Boy would remain attentive through. He has, as you say, a short attention span."
"Thanks, Starfire," I said as I leaned forward to take the paper back from her. Slipping it back under my cloak, I stood up to take my leave. "Please keep this between us. I'd rather tell Cyborg and Robin that I am going on a date with Beast Boy myself."
My alien friend nodded at me and smiled as I slipped out of her room, thinking about another conversation I was not looking forward too.
'I really don't want to see another Wicked Scary movie,' I thought as I slipped through the halls of Titan's Tower looking for Beast Boy. Surprisingly, I had not found him in the rec-room or his bedroom. A brief glance in the training room produced the expected results – he wasn't there. And I was now on my way to check the last two places he might be. The roof, and his stone skipping beach.
As I slipped through the door to the roof, I noted with moderate surprise that the moon was well and truly up. 'Must have spent more time trying to pick a film than I thought.'
Gliding across the roof, I could tell that Beast Boy was not up here. But when I go to the far edge and looked over, I saw a small figure tossing rocks out across the water. 'Beast Boy,' I thought, as I watched the figure toss yet another rock out over the water, only to have it swallowed by the sea without skipping.
Rather than walking down through the Tower I decided to take a short-cut to him. I raised my hand and tore a small hole in the fabric of space, opening a portal between the roof and the shore. I stepped through it silently, letting it close behind me as I stood behind Beast Boy. Another rock was thrown, and swallowed by the water.
"Hello, Beast Boy," I said.
"Gyah!" Beast Boy yelped as he jumped into the air and tried to turn around.
I fought down the small smile that was threatening to appear on my face. Scaring Beast Boy by sneaking up on him was one of the small pleasures I allowed myself.
"Dude, how the heck did you get there! You scared me half to death!" Beast Boy demanded.
"I walked," I replied, knowing it was a half-truth. True, I had walked through the portal, but I had barely taken a step since I appeared behind Beast Boy. "I just came down to let you know I had picked a movie and time."
"Oh?"
Knowing that I would gain nothing by putting it off any longer, I told him, "Tomorrow night. The nine o'clock showing of Wicked Scary: The Sickening."
For a moment, nothing happened. It was as though Beast Boy's brain had finally given up its fight to work and popped into neutral. Just as I was about to ask if he was okay, he exploded with excitement. "Oh wow, Raven! That's like the best movie choice ever!" he exclaimed, as he reached out and pulled me into a sudden, uncomfortable hug. Starfire had already used up a lot of my tolerance for personal space invasions when she crushed me earlier.
"Let.Me. Go," I managed to say, my voice falling to the old monotone I resorted to when I was uncomfortable.
"Sorry, Rae. It's just that I really want to see this Wicked Scary movie, and I don't think even Terra would have been willing to go with me. This is just another reason I like you more," Beast Boy blurted.
As Beast Boy spoke, I grew more uncomfortable. The events of the afternoon had built up badly for me. The terror I anticipated from watching the movie and the hugs from Beast Boy and Starfire had already ensured that I was going to be spending the evening meditating to calm my mind. But the comparison to Terra was the final straw, and something snapped in me. Even as I fought for some control, I felt the rage inside me grow. Fed by the little irritations I had throughout the day and an inexplicable wave of jealousy, I turned on Beast Boy.
"Don't EVER compare me to Terra!" I snapped, as I felt the burning in my head that I knew meant my eyes had started to glow red. Reflexively I pulled the hood of my cloak over my head. "Our date is cancelled," I said, fighting to regain some control over my feelings.
Afraid of what else I would say, or do, to Beast Boy, I opened a raven shaped hole to my room and let myself slip into it. As it closed, I heard a few soft words from Beast Boy.
"Please, Raven! I didn't mean it like that."