Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. I'll put them back when I am done.
Until the End of the World
Chapter 5 – I Know What I Have to Do
Sitting on the bed in her darkened room, Raven looked into her hand-mirror. She let her eyes drift across her reflected features, frowning slightly she saw the dark bruises forming under her eyes and the swelling around her nose. As her gaze drifted down her face and across her lips, Raven's eyes began to slowly close. When Raven's gaze wandered to the delicate point of her chin, her eyelids finished their slow decent.
When Raven next opened her eyes, she saw not the dark blues and purples of her bedroom but a barren, rocky landscape. She was standing in the middle of a path that seemed to follow a series of gray asteroids, looping impossibly through a dark, starlit sky. More of the gray asteroids drifted seemingly at random through the sky. Raven looked around for a moment, as though seeking out a familiar landmark. After a moment, the purple-haired half-demon set off down the path.
As Raven walked several large, black birds followed her. Flying a few paces ahead of her they would stop and perch on an outcrop of gray rock or the limbs of one of the occasional barren trees along the path. There, they would watch as the young woman walked past them, following her progress with four glowing red eyes. Once she was thirty or forty feet past them, they would repeat their short flight to a new perch.
After an indeterminate time walking, Raven found herself at a stone archway. She paused in front of it, and bit her lower lip. It was a nervous habit that she seldom indulged in and would deny if any of her friends commented on it. As she looked through the archway, the scenery seemed to be the same on the other side as the side she stood on. Shaking her head, she muttered, "May as well get on with it."
When Raven resumed walking to the stone gate, the black birds squawked and took to the sky, circling out of sight.
As Raven stepped through the archway the sky changed. The starscape winked out of existence to be replaced by a cheerful yellow sky spotted by fluffy pink clouds. As far as the eye could see, the rocky gray ground was replaced by rolling hills covered by pink and yellow wildflowers. Tall evergreens dotted the landscape.
"Oof!" Raven cried out as she was tackled from behind and knocked to the ground. Raven was entangled with another girl who looked remarkably similar to herself, but for the fact that she wore a pink cloak and boots. "Get off me," she growled at her attacker.
"Heya, Rae! How are you? Like the ambush hug?" Happy fired off her questions rapidly, before dropping her voice to a conspirational whisper, "Brave has been teaching me how to sneak up on people so I can hug them."
"Get. Off," Raven grumbled again, pushing Happy away. Free of the pink cloaked emotions grasp, Raven stood and brushed the dirt off her clothes. She failed to notice that a pink flower had broken from its stem and lodged in her hair above her left ear. Happy rose as well, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet.
"C'mon, Rae! Don't be so grumpy. Ooh, didja get in a fight?" Happy pointed at Raven's bruised and swollen face. "Looks like they did a number on your nose. Good thing your booboos don't show up on me," Happy stated gleefully.
"I fell," Raven told the disturbingly pink emotion. "I need you to find the others and have them meet me in Knowledge's library. We need to talk."
Happy grinned from ear to ear. "I can do that," she said. Happy raised her arms to her sides and ran off across the landscape, making sputtering airplane noises as she went.
'That emotion will be the death of me,' Raven thought to herself. Once again she began walking down the trail through her mind, passing over the rolling hills of Happy's domain. 'I really need to figure out why my feelings are so… Confused.'
Some time later, Raven again found herself in front of one of the stone archways that separated the realms of her mind. She closed her eyes for a moment and breathed deeply and deliberately. After a few moments, the dark witch opened her eyes and stepped through the portal.
This time the cheerful yellows and pinks of the hills were replaced by walls painted a very pale shade of lilac, and rows upon rows of yellow bookshelves. Raven looked at the sign that was posted on the end of the nearest shelving unit to confirm her location. She then began walking down the aisles, the smell of the thousands of old books persistent in her nostrils.
Before long she came to an open space among the shelves. Near the center of the open area sat a circle of nine chairs. All of them were occupied save for one. Raven walked to that empty chair and sat down in it, looking around her at the gathered host.
To Raven's left Wisdom was sitting like a mountain, eyes closed and adorned in her simple brown cloak. Next was Brave, her green hood pulled down over here eyes, her attention directed across the circle at another one of the emotions. To Brave's left sat Rude, her orange cloak stained by what appeared to be catsup and peanut butter, her legs spread widely in front of her as she rocked back in the chair. Timid sat in her chair, feet drawn up in front of her with her arms wrapped around her legs and her grey cloak acting as a shield to hide herself from the others. Fidgeting in the next chair, Happy was playing with a pair of dolls, one purple and blue and black, the other green. Anger, the object of Brave's attentive gaze sat grumpily in the next chair, red hood up and a frown on her face. Affection was sitting up in her chair, purple cloak thrown back and rather large scrapbook open on her lap. And last sat Knowledge wearing a yellow cloak and heavy-rimmed glasses, a book propped open in her lap.
As Raven finished looking around the circle, she sighed. "I'm glad you could all come. I need some answers from you," Raven stated.
As Raven spoke, each of the emotions directed their attention to her. Happy quickly slipped the dolls she had been playing with under her cloak. Affection and Knowledge both closed their books, while Wisdom opened her eyes and turned to face Raven. Rude scratched herself. "Took you long enough to get here," the orange clad emotion said.
Raven fought the urge to roll her eyes at Rude, slightly amused by the irony of wanting to roll her eyes at an aspect of herself. Instead, Raven allowed herself to indulge in another small sigh before speaking again, "Ever since Beast Boy asked me out, some of you have been acting out. I want to know what is going on in here so I can actually do something. I am tired of this bunch of mixed up feelings about Beast Boy and that comment he made about Terra and –"
Raven was cut off by a low growl coming from Anger. "That damn bleach-blonde trollop! I wish you had let me destroy her when we had the chance."
"B-but if we did that, Beast Boy would hate us more than he does now," Timid managed to say, retreating as far back in her chair as she could when Anger turned to look at her.
"Beast Boy does not hate us, Timid," Affection said warmly, hoping that her words would calm the gray emotion.
"Yea," said Happy, agreeing with Affection. "If he did, BB wouldn't keep asking us to play those games and go meditate and stuff with him. People who hate us don't ask us to go see movies with them."
"I hate his stupid video games," Anger muttered.
"Well I happen to like them," Brave countered, staring at Anger.
"Me too," quipped Happy. "They're lots of fun."
"And Beast Boy likes them," added Affection.
Anger turned her stare on Affection and growled, "So did Terra."
"Enough!" Raven yelled, rising to her feet. "This is just what I'm talking about! You're all out of control." She closed her eyes for a moment, counting backwards from twenty while she relaxed. "In turn, I need to know why you are all acting up. You first," Raven pointed at Knowledge.
Knowledge blinked once behind her heavy glasses while looking up at Raven. "You know as well as I do that I am not the cause of your current emotional troubles. Raven, you have an adequate grasp of the events that have led to your present circumstances."
Raven simply nodded at Knowledge before turning to Affection. "What is your issue, Affection?"
The purple-clad emotion looked at Raven and smiled happily. "Raven, Beast Boy finally asked you out. Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for that?" Affection opened her scrapbook again and started flipping through it. "Ah, here it is…" She turned the book around to show a picture of Raven talking to Beast Boy on the shore of the island under the tower late in the evening. "Ever since Beast Boy saved us from Adonis. And then when he asked us to go meditate with him? I was hoping that he was asking for something more, but…" Affection then flipped back in her scrapbook to show several pages of photos, apparently taken of Beast Boy and Raven talking at various coffee shops after their meditation sessions. "I still got lots of good memories about him out of that."
Raven looked at Affection and asked, "Is that scrapbook just about Beast Boy?"
"Well," the emotion replied, "this is just one volume of it. I left the other dozen or so at home."
"Right…" Raven turned to Anger. "And you?"
Anger growled at Raven. "I should smite that stupid, green changeling for comparing us to that blonde tart. He makes us pick a movie and then he has the chutzpah to tell us that Terra," Anger spat the name out, "wouldn't have gone. But SHE won't let me," Anger pointed at Affection and pouted.
"Yea, but he asked us out!" Happy burst in. "I mean, he's fun and I like doing things with him and he asked us to do more things with him."
Raven looked at Happy and said, "I take it that is why you are acting up. Timid?" Raven turned her attention to the grey cloaked emotion, not letting Happy get started on what was bound to be a long, bubbly description of just how much fun Beast Boy really was.
Timid peeked up over her knees and looked at Raven. "H-he's mad at us. I just know it. We yelled at him and then ran off and he's never going to talk to us again." Having said all that she could, Timid dropped her head back below her knees and cowered.
There was a brief pause, during which Raven turned to face Rude. Rude took the opportunity to belch loudly.
"Okay then… Brave?" Raven asked.
Brave looked at Raven and simply said, "We should do it. We could kick Terra's butt any day of the week. Why should we let her have a better date-"
"You mean more dates. Like any," Rude interrupted.
Looking challengingly at Rude, Brave continued, "let Terra have a better date with Beast Boy than we can? Just one more area where we can wipe the floor with her."
Raven turned to look at Wisdom, then sighed, not expecting the usually cryptic emotion to give her a direct answer. As a result, Raven's mouth fell open as Wisdom spoke. "Raven, you want to go out with him. You're mad that he mentioned Terra. And you are confused by the amends he has offered."
Once again, Raven bit her lower lip as she thought on Wisdom's words. "What amends, Wisdom? I don't remember him saying anything about being sorry."
"Amends are not about saying 'I'm sorry', Raven," Knowledge said behind Raven. "Amends are about change for the better."
Wisdom spoke again, "Anyone can say 'Sorry'. How many people will actually try to make an effort to behave differently the next time?"
Raven closed her eyes and spoke. "I know what I have to do."
In the dimly lit room, a purple-haired sorceress opened her eyes. She eased herself off the bed, took a moment to smooth the sheets, then left her room, clearly looking for someone.