Chapter Four

A few days later Professor Hermione Granger, the transfiguration teacher who was about to begin her second year as an instructor, found herself walking towards the office of the new caretaker, P. Jamison McEuen. As she stood at the door, she heard people talking on the inside and attempted to listen in, however, the voices were too faint to be heard properly, so she knocked anyway.

Mere moments later, the door opened and standing there was a tall Scottish wizard with wavy dark brown hair and eyes so black and mysterious that the offered no reflection what-so-ever and just the hint of a beard, or perhaps he just needed to shave wearing his dragon hide boots, skin tight Muggle denims and jet black form fitting Muggle t-shirt that just made his bulging chest look absolutely edible.

"Ah, Professor Granger," he said with his Scottish accent and the bur in this throat. "What canna I do for you today?"

"Well, I … um," she stammered which was unusual for her, but lets face he was so hot she was about to soil her panties there in the corridor of the school from just looking at him. "I wanted to come … I mean to see you and make sure you were settling into your new position … I mean job."

Flashing her a heart warming smile, he says, "Well wasn't that grand of you ta do that for meh."

"I don't want to keep you since I heard you talking to someone, but …"

"Och, that's jus' nonsense lassie, com' on in. I was just having a wee chat with Tibby, but if you can wait for a momen' then we can have a nice lil' chat ourselves."

Hermione walked into the office to find two little house elves already in there. One looked absolutely miserable and the other was consoling her.

"Now, Tibby," Jamie McEuen said with concern, "I woul' like you ta tell meh what 'appened."

Hermione watched as the little elf wearing a little yellow dress with a frilly lace collar, a yellow sun bonnet, a freshly pressed white apron with a little yellow duck embroidered on it with a bright orange bill, a pair of brand new Muggle high top athletic shoes whose brand name can't be mentioned due to copyright issues, stood there with one arm wrapped around herself and the hand half covering her miserable looking face but wouldn't speak.

"Tibby, it is being okay to be telling master what happened," said the elf wearing a pink dress with little yellow flowers embroidered on the hem and wearing Muggle military combat boots with red glitter glued to them.

"Master is being all mad at Tibby," whispered the first elf.

"Master is not being all mad at you's," the elf wearing the pink dress said. Then turning to her master asked, "Isn't that being right?" Then gave him a look that clearly said, 'You's is agreeing with me or else Eppy is getting the whip out!'

"Of course na'. I only wont to help you tha' all."

"Maybe I can help," Hermione interjected.

"Oh, how terribly rude of meh," Jamie McEuen said. "Professor Granger, this is Tibby," he said indicating the miserable looking elf, "and this is Eppy."

"Pleased to meet you," she said cordially. "Now do you think you can tell me what happened?"

Timidly Tibby inched over to the transfiguration teacher and pulling his bonnet down, whispered into her ear.

"Someone took your Garcia?" Hermione half stated, half asked. (1)

Tibby nodded miserably.

"Who took it Tibby?" Jamie asked patiently.

"Professor Kieran O'Dell, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Tibby admitted before slumping to the floor to begin crying and began hitting himself in the head with his little fists. "He's is saying that Muggle toys is not being allowed in the school and then he takes it from me."

"OH HE'S IS DOING THAT IS HE?" Eppy exclaimed while shaking her head like a crack diva about to go on a hell bent Midol-hormone-bitch-rage.

"Uh-huh"

"Don't you's be worrying, Eppy is taking care of him!" she said and then grabbing her little brother, pops them both form the office.

"Och, I'd hate to that unlucky bugger when she catches up with him."

"Why?" Hermione asked, completely confused.

"Well, ya see lassie, back during the war, Eppy kind of ran a fowl of a few Death Eaters," the caretaker said. Then with a smile he added, "Or rather, they ran a fowl o' her. Eppy killed three Death Eaters with 'Tallulah'."

"Okay. Now I have two questions, one what is a 'Garcia' and two what is a 'Tallulah'?"

Laughing now, Jamie tells her, "Well ta begin with, 'Tallulah' is her favorite battle axe that I gave her one Christmas and 'Garcia' is the name of his little Beanie Baby toy that he keeps in his front pocket."

"Why do you call Tibby a he? I thought they were both girls? Or do you take pleasure in dressing them up funny?"

"Now, you hold your horses there lassie," he said sternly. "I would'na hurt either of them, the're all the family Ah have left in this world."

"But why …"

"Tibby is a boy elf with gender identity issues. He prefers to be dressed up lik' a wee lil' girl elf."

Hermione sat there looking distinctly like a fish out of water.

"I have two very unique lil' friends there I know," Jamie admitted protectively of them. "But if you think that's odd? Wait until you see what Eppy is into."

To Be Continued … Please Read and Review