Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. I do (surprisingly) own a moped.
AN: While I can't promise each reviewer a cookie, I will do my best to respond to each signed review I get.
Until the End of the World
Chapter 6 – Until the End of the World
"Well, today has just been fantastic," I told the wall down in the basement. To say that I was confused and frustrated wouldn't be doing my current emotional state any justice. Toss in a good helping of anxiety and you would be getting closer. I had no idea how Raven would take my effort at amends.
I was down in the basement because I needed a good, solid wall for the juggling I was doing. I had five racquetballs out and was tossing them from my right hand so that they would hit the floor a few feet in front of me before bouncing up and striking the wall. When they came back to me I would catch them in my left and send them back on a similar flight plan. Hand, floor, wall, catch. Repeat. Following the five balls through their paces kept my mind busy and clear, almost like meditation or playing videogames.
I was pretty sure that I could get another ball or two into the pattern if I had someone else to toss it in for me. As it was, every time I tried to grab a sixth ball I would be just barely too slow and drop one of the balls already in their pattern. And I wasn't about to ask for help from one of the other Titans. Cyborg would just laugh. Star would probably throw the ball so hard it would pop when it hit the ground. Robin… Well, I had the distinct feeling that Robin didn't much care for circuses or circus acts. And while Raven was the most likely person I would invite to help, right now it didn't seem like such a good idea.
After talking to Robin about the other night I had a pretty clear understanding that Raven really didn't want to be compared to Terra. Ever. And the worst part was that the more I thought about it the more I had to agree with Robin. Then when I go to talk to Raven about it, she managed to somehow break her nose.
I shuddered as the image of Raven looking up at me from the floor of her room, her face covered in blood entered my mind, unbidden. At that moment I had felt something well up in me that would not go quietly into the night. Raven had been hurt and I needed to help her. The Beast had roared up from within me, wanting to protect the one thing it cared about in this world. The one thing I cared about.
When I had gone to talk to her later, I had simply stated the facts as I saw them. I was wrong to compare her to Terra. And I was going to do my darndest to not do it again. I really couldn't see how saying, "Sorry," was going to fix the mess I had created. And she had asked me to just go away.
So I had come down here. I was pretty sure the others didn't know I juggled, and I was almost positive that they wouldn't come here looking for me. I had a habit of going on about how the basement was even creepier than Raven's room and avoiding going there when asked. Just so I had a place to come and juggle in relative privacy. I wasn't really sure how long I had been here. After juggling for a while, time really ceases to mean anything.
"Squeee," I heard the door protest as it was opened above me. 'Nuts. Not enough time to hide the evidence,' I thought, so I just kept on juggling, balls moving so fast that they were a blue blur. 'No cheery inquiry if I'm down here, so not Starfire. Footsteps are too light to be Cy.' I sniffed the air, expecting the musky, slightly sweaty odor of Robin. Instead my nose caught the faint scent of apples and vanilla.
I waited as patiently as I could while the person above me walked down the metal stairs, feet barely making a sound. When I knew that she was finally down on the floor and not more than two paces behind me, I greeted her. "Hey, Raven."
"Beast Boy," she said, the usual edge on her voice wasn't present and I was slightly surprised.
"Can I help you?" I asked, hope and fear mixing together, the soft "Thwap. Thwap. Thwap," of the balls filling the empty spaces between us.
"I've, um, been thinking about what you said, Beast Boy." Raven's tone was calm and measured. I took a deep breathe, letting her sweet smell run through my nostrils, the unmistakable scent of anxiety coming from her as well. "Beast Boy? Can you stop that for a minute? What I have to say, I'd like to say to your face."
I smiled a little with my back to her. "Sure," I said and as the balls came to me, I directed them upwards, until all five were cascading in front of me. Still juggling I turned around to face Raven, grinning from ear to ear. "How's this?"
Raven gave me a glare that should have caused me to burst into flames on the spot. Instead, I let the balls fall into my hands, two in the left, two in the right. The fifth ball I caught by bringing my hands together and letting it fall on top of its cousins. I then set the pyramid of balls down on a wooden crate so I could give my full attention to Raven.
"That's better," she said simply.
"So, you wanted to say something, Rae?" I could tell that she was uncomfortable about coming to talk to me, but I figured I would see if she was paying attention. Her hood was down, and I was slightly surprised at the bruising and swelling around her nose and under her eyes.
"Don't call me 'Rae', Beast Boy. My name is Raven."
I smiled a little. Whatever she needed to say didn't have her forgetting to stop me from calling her by a nickname. "Okay, Raven. I'm all ears," I said, pointing to my larger than average, pointier than most, ears. I smiled a little when I saw her close her eyes, obviously counting backwards in her head. 'I really shouldn't be teasing her,' I thought, 'Time to shut up for a few minutes.' I closed my mouth and waited for Raven. I have always bad a habit of teasing and joking to avoid the touchy-feely stuff
Raven had apparently calmed herself down enough that she was willing to try talking to me again. "Beast Boy, I've been thinking about the last day or so. I know that you just blurted out what was in your head last night. It's one of the things I like about." She raised a finger and motioning me to be quiet. "It's also one of the things that make it damned hard to like you all the time."
Raven closed her beautiful amethyst eyes as she continued, "The truth is, I really do like you. A lot. You've grown up some – and so have I – these last few months. I want to get to know you better than I have during our post-meditation chats. I've been hoping that you would ask me out for a while now. But when you mentioned… Her."
'Holy heck,' I thought. 'I didn't know… To think that she's wanted me to ask her out…'
"I still have issues with Terra," Raven intoned. "She hurt us a lot. She hurt me a lot." Raven's voice dropped to the barest whisper and if it hadn't been for my over-developed hearing, I would have missed her words, "She hurt you."
I smiled a little, knowing what Raven was trying to do. And knowing that it wasn't going to come easy for her. So I decided to try and spare her some of it. "Apology accepted, Raven."
Raven looked at me, her amethyst eyes piercing through me. "How did you know I was coming to apologize?"
"Well," I said. "When you do it as often as I do, you kinda recognize it. And," I smiled at her, "you don't seem to have a lot of practice."
Raven glowered at me for a few moments before the barest hint of a smile appeared on her face. "No, I guess I don't have a lot of practice apologizing. Not like a certain green fool that lives with his foot in his mouth."
"Hey, now…" I grinned at Raven, happy that she was talking to me again. "Look, Raven, you're my friend." I reached out and held her left hand in my right. She didn't try to pull back, but instead wrapped her fingers gently, almost timidly over mine. "Always have been, and I hope you always will be. Until the end of the world."
As I spoke, I was mildly shocked when Raven reached out for my other hand. There we were, not more than a foot apart in the dim of the basement, setting right a misunderstanding. Without Raven resorting to tossing me out of a window. "Beast Boy, incase you forgot, the world has already ended," she said.
"Huh? Oh, yea, with your father and all," I said, confused for a moment by her words. I was drawn into her eyes as we stood there. The tiny reflection of myself above pools of amethyst, suspended over the richest of blacks. More mesmerizing than even the most impressive of video games or sunsets, I thought I could fall into those eyes for days.
"So," Raven started, momentarily biting her bottom lip, "Do you still want to go to the movie?"
Raven was moving closer to me and I leaned forward to close the distance, knowing, at that moment, I wanted to kiss her. My nose rubbed gently against hers…
Raven cried out, "Ouch!" suddenly pulling back from me, her hands dropping mine and leaping to her face to protect her tender nose.
"Oh heck, Rae, I forgot about your nose." I was blushing furiously, hoping that in her pain Raven didn't notice that I was doing my best to impersonate a Christmas decoration. The moment was lost, and I was looking for a way to make it better. Fortunately, Raven saved me from myself.
"It's okay, Beast Boy. I forgot about it too," she said from behind her hands. Slowly she lowered them and looked at me again.
"So, um, why haven't you healed your nose? You know, with the blue glowie hands and all," I asked.
"It doesn't work that way, Beast Boy," Raven told me. "I can heal others with 'the blue glowie hands', but not myself. My own injuries have to heal the old fashioned way, or if I get hurt badly enough I can go into a healing trance." Raven sighed before continuing, "Apparently this isn't bad enough."
"Oh. Um. Well that sucks," I said, not feeling like an intellectual giant.
"Yes it does," Raven said. "Can I take a rain check on the kiss?"
I felt myself smiling from ear to ear when Raven implied that I could kiss her later – after her nose healed. "Of course you can, Raven. You want to postpone the whole movie thing too? Just until your nose heals?" Inside my chest my heart was about to burst from a mixture of joy, anticipation and anxiety about what was happening.
Another small smile crept onto Raven's face. "No. This Friday, Wicked Scary: The Sickening. Just you and me."
If it was possible, my smile grew even bigger.
"Come on. Let's go see if Starfire has everything for tomorrow's 'Giving of the Thanks'," Raven said.
I followed her up the stairs, happier than I had been in a long time.