Disclamier: No, I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, don't sue!

Halfmetal Alchemist: Chapter 2

Meet the Family

"Daaad! Alley's trying to shoot me with her gun again! Aaaagh! Make her stop!" Roy rolled his eye and tried to concentrate on his report. Alphonse scrambled into the kitchen and dove onto the ground, pulling Edward down with him.

"What the-? Al!" They collapsed in a wet mess on the floor, and Edward twisted, smacking Alphonse on the head. "What's wrong with you? I try to do you a favor and wash the dishes for you and you tackle me like the world's about to end!"

Al got up quickly and crawled into a cupboard underneath the sink. "The world will end if Alley catches me!" he slammed the door and Ed stood in front of it, resuming the washing of dishes. Roy sighed and signed some of the papers, trashing others, and pushing most aside for later. Alley threw the door to the side and barged in, waving a gun and a wrench in her hands. "WHERE IS HE? I'LL KILL HIM!" she screamed, tying her fair hair tighter. She shook Roy's shoulder. "Where is he, Papa, I know he's here!"

"Me? I'm sure I have no idea where he is, sweetheart," Roy lied, smiling faintly at her. "What about you, Dishwasher Alchemist?" she teased, putting her arms around Ed's shoulders. Ed muttered something under his breath and scrubbed a plate furiously. Ed flexed his automail arm at her threateningly and she stuck his tongue out at him.

"Aw… what's wrong, Brother, are you mad that you can't be an alchemist because you're so short?"

"I'M- NOT- SHORT!" he yelled, leaping at her. She stepped out of the way and hit him over the head with her wrench, and Ed leaped up again like a spitting cat successfully colliding with her. "Shorty, shorty, shorty, shorty!"

"Look who's talking ugly! AAAAAGH! SHE BIT ME!"

Leroy walked into the mayhem, yawned, stretched, and noted the pulsing vein in his father's temple. "Oh, not again." He sat down on the opposite side of the table as his father clenched his fists and tried to keep his temper in check. Leroy slowly took out his pyrotex glove out of his pocket and slipped it onto his hand, almost lazily. When the two teens failed to stop pummeling each other, he snapped.

Ed's automail arm caught fire and he leaped back, dunking it into the sink, while Alley's gun exploded in the middle of the kitchen. Al peeked out of the cupboard and quickly hid back inside before Alley saw him. Leroy yawned again and his small almost vulpine eyes upbraided his siblings silently.

"You're giving Dad a hard time you know." He hugged his father once and waved goodbye. "You sure you don't want me to drive you to HQ, Leroy?" Leroy shook his head. "No thanks, Dad, the last time you did you almost ran over Uncle Alex." he thought for a moment. "Or damaged the car, as the case may be." Roy pushed back and the chair scraped on the floor. "No, I insist. You're initiation test is today anyway, so I'll take you. Didn't Ilia want to come as well?"

"Yeah, she said she'd drop by later. Ed, why aren't you entering?"

Ed mumbled something and picked up Alley discarded wrench, tightening a bolt in his arm. "I… already did. I didn't make it this year." A hush fell over the kitchen. "You… didn't make it, Brother?" Leroy said. Ed continued to tighten in a subdued manner. "Yeah… they've got a tournament style thing going on now, and I… was beaten in the finals. You've got to make a good performance score in the finals, and I didn't."

"Your performance was less than satisfactory, Edward. You have to show that you can be innovative in a fight. There was… someone I knew… that was quite an innovative boy." he stared at the records in his hand, and he remembered a very, very, short teenager with long blond bangs and fiery light brown eyes, an alchemist of incredible strength. He still had a certain bad taste in his mouth just thinking that the encounter had ended in a draw and not the boy's defeat. One moment he remembered was the stone dummy with the boy's jacket on it.

"Well, we'll see how you do Leroy. And Edward…" Ed looked up slowly. "Wipe that morbid expression on your face, I entered you again." Al got out of his hiding spot at last and smoothed down his blue striped shirt. "You really should, Ed, you're really good! I'm sure you'll make it this time!"

Ed groaned and mumbled something under his breath, shooting Roy a dirty look. Roy feigned innocence and looked at him sweetly.

"Fine. One more time. Just once!"