Chapter 6: Again
Once the door closed Haruka walked silently to the lift. She wanted to be alone because she wanted to think about the whole situation, but she wasn't.
Michiru insisted on accompaning her.
And now the only thought of being with the aqua haired girl brought to Haruka a headache. She wasn't prepared.
The walk to the store was fast and silent. None of them wanted to be the first to break the silent.
But as they walked back to the hotel, Michiru couldn't resist and spoke first.
"Haruka, I think we need to talk..." Head down, she waited for an answer. She knew that if she stayed silent, Haruka would never bring the subject up.
"Hm yes, I think so."
Haruka eyed around them and spotted what she was looking for.
"There's a bench over there. It will be more convenient." And without waiting for an answer from the other girl, Haruka walked silently to the park.
Sitting on each side of the bench, both of them wanted the other one to start the conversation. But as expected Michiru was the first to speak up.
"I never meant to hurt you..." Michiru kept tightly both of her hands on her laps, she was nervous. She had so many things to say that she didn't know where to start. But a low and soft voice interrupted her inner turmoil.
"I truly loved you" Said Haruka and then sighed heavily and stared at the sky.
'Loved? What is she trying to say?' Thought Michiru and at the same time stared at Haruka with a questionning look.
The short blonde, sensing the other girl's eyes on her, took a breath and spoke "I never wanted this... you know how I really felt then, but nevertheless you didn't understand. To be honest I expected something else from you ... but what you said, made me think about it again. You don't have to pretend now that it didn't or doesn't bother you, I saw it in your eyes that night... and it makes me felt guilty. I shouldn't have started something without telling you first... I'm sorry for lying to you"
At the last sentence, Haruka let her eyes met Michiru's and what she saw was unexpected. Tears were running down the aqua haired girl cheeks.
'Did she understand what I'm trying to say?' Thought the blonde.
"I'm the one who need to apologize... I don't know why I did what I did, but trust me, I regret every little words I said and moves I made. Every passing day, since the day you went away, was a living hell..."
Michiru took Haruka's cheeks in both of her hands and wispered tenderly "I fell in love with you the first time I laid my eyes on you and no matter what, I come to the realization that I still love you...just the way you are..." And with the last word said, Michiru closed her eyes and pulled Haruka's face to her's.
I was walking down the street one day
Then I saw you I didn't know what to say
You're eyes were shining
You're smile was so kind
When I saw you I wanted you to be mine
Sadly Haruka gently gripped Michiru's hands and pulled away before their lips could touch.
"I'm sorry Michiru. I can't"
"Why?" Michiru asked despairingly. "Is it because of Ayashi-san?"
Maybe I don't have the blonde hair you like
Or maybe I don't have eyes like the sky
And I'm not sure if I'm the girl in your dreams
But I can show you what love means
"Michiru... is not that simple..." Haruka looked away and stared into the distant. "To be honest, I think it would be better if we just stay friends... I mean we have been friends for almost one year and everything went well-"
"You regretted going out with me, don't you?" Michiru cut in with a voice full of sorrow.
"No I don't, please listen to what I have to say-"
"No! I don't want to listen to a liar..." Cried Michiru and then covered both her ears with her hands.
One day you came and talked to me
And you said we are meant to be
I was happy, everything was so nice
But then I found out that everything was a lie
"Michiru! Please..." Haruka tried to reason the aqua haired girl but the latter just kept tightly her hands over her ears.
After a minute of silence, Haruka decided to be honest with Michiru "I understand. I can't blame you... It's my fault I shouldn't have lied to you, but you have to know that I never wanted this neither." She sighed and resumed her explanation. "My father is a powerful man and since I was his only child, he wanted me to inherit but only a son could inherit everything including the name. I never asked him why I was raised as a boy but I know he did this for my well and I am thankful to him no matter-"
"And what about love then? Did he expect you to fall for a man or a girl?" Interjected the smaler girl.
"We never discussed about this subject before, but I am sure he will understand if I tell him I'm in love with a woman." Haruka said and kept her eyes on the ground. She felt nervous, everything wasn't going the way she wished and it disturbed her.
"And who... will you tell him you are in love with?" Asked Michiru with pleading eyes.
"I-I don't know..." Answered shamefully the blonde. She wasn't ready.
"How... just months ago, you told me I was the one..." Whispered Michiru but the hurt was too deep, she broke up crying freely.
How could you do this to me
You said we are meant to be
You showed me how to cry
When you told me that everything was a lie
Haruka pondered a few seconds about what to do, but as the tears didn't seem to end she decided to take the risk.
Firmly but gently she pull Michiru in a comforting embrace and held her tightly.
The other girl didn't protest to the blonde relief, instead she cuddled closely to the warm and protective embrace.
Love means...
(I don't have eyes like the sky)
Love means...
(I'm not the girl in your dreams)
Love means...
Na na na, na na na
Love means.
They just stayed like this until the sobs decreased. And once she felt better, Michiru saddly pulled away and recollected herself. However as the events earlier still playing over her mind, she couldn't bear to look right at Haruka so she just kept her eyes on her laps.
"Are you alright now?" Asked cautiously the blonde.
Michiru nodded, but still faced down. After a minute of silence she spoke, her voice shaking.
"Tell me... why then...why can't we be together?" She looked up and met two beautiful teal eyes that reflecting her. The more she stared at the blonde the more she longed for her.
Unconsciously she gripped Haruka's shirt and without much warning she leant over her and kissed her with passion and longing.
Surprised by the sudden event, Haruka at first wanted to pull away, but when she realized that Michiru was crying she felt something within her boiling.
She slowly closed her eyes, cupped Michiru's face and deepen tenderly the kiss.
Emotion had taken over her.
Her hands then reached Michiru soft aqua hair and caressed them gently.
The smaller girl bewitched by the soft caress wrapped her arms around Haruka's neck and leant closely against the blonde.
They were totally enwrapped with each other body and touch. And as a result their kisses became more and more intense and passionate, and their hands started to travel. It was as if they were craving for this for a long time and that it was now allowed, reachable. Everything around them seemed to be insignificant.
"Oh Ruka, I want you so much..." Whispered gently Michiru, but as the words escaped her mouth she realized the mistake she just made.
Haruka who was kissing the aqua haired girl neck stopped abruptly. Her eyes filled with love and desir a moment ago, darken and were now filled with sorrow and sadness.
She slowly pulled away and disengaged herself from Michiru. Memories re-emerged and came crashing roughly against her mind. The past she wished to forget was back, bringing with it the wound that broke her heart once.
"Ruka, I-I'm sorry...I didn't mean to-"Michiru tried to repair her mistake, but the blonde interjected her before she could apologize futhermore.
"No it's alright Michiru, it would have happened sooner or later. We shouldn't have." The blonde stood up, took the bags and started to walk toward the hotel.
After walking a few steps she realized that the other girl wasn't coming along. She pondered a moment and then turned around."Let's go back." But when she saw that Michiru was still sitting on the bench she added "...the other must be worried. Come on...Michiru."
"No..." Hearing the short answer, Haruka knew that their conversation wasn't finished.
"Why are you doing this Haruka? I know you still love me and you know I love you so why are you so reluctant to start over again?" Asked Michiru out of depression.
Not knowing how to respond to that question, Haruka just looked away and stayed silent. She didn't know herself why, but something within her told her that the wound was still there and that it may needed some more time to heal.
"I see... you haven't really forgive me, have you?" Stated sadly Michiru. She knew the blonde had been honest with her back then, nevertheless she hadn't thought about it that much and instead of trying to comprehend or giving the blonde the chance to explain she had insulted her, humiliated her, betrayed her and at the end she had broken her heart into piecies.
Remorses became to overspread her mind and the only thing she could think of doing now was to get out of there as soon as possible.
The only thought of the past tormented her and she couldn't bear to be near Haruka now that she was conscious of her past action. So she just ran away carring with her the burden of her past misdeeds.
Haruka just stayed flabergasted by the sudden event, she wanted to run after the aqua haired girl for an explanation but choose not to at the last moment. "No, we need more time... it was too premature." The last part was a whisper into the darkness.
TBC
AN : Thx Hunter007 for your reviews. Make me want to keep writing.