Kawaii! Which in japanese that means cute, but anyhow, lol. I am so inspired by this one actually two pictures of Yuan and Kratos I keep drooling over. One is Kratos and Yuan, Kratos are eating a cherry, together. Lol they are both eating one cherry. I found that extremely romantic! The second one is Yuan reading a book and Kratos starring at him. Kratos' thought bubble is him and Yuan together (heheh you get the picture eh x3) and Kratos has this pleased look on his face and yuan has the "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING" look on his face in the thought bubble. man, I love those pictures. They are so hot! So inspiration. I swear if anyone wants to argue that Kratos and Yuan don't belong together, I will grab a giant metal bat and show you these pictures. So Cute!
Nall: Kratos really does have naughty thoughts about him and Yuan O.O Just like in your story. Odd.
Me: hehehe! I have thoughts about Kratos and Yuan all the time; so it's nothing different for me. Lol!
Nall: You scare me -.-;
Me: Ooh maybe I should call Michelle and tell her bout the pictures. She'd be like " O.O!" it's funny. YaY! Just the Girl came on the radio. Mhm, all my friends love this song so I think of them when I hear it. I miss them. Lol the Gorillaz are on now. Michelle's Band O.o
Nall: Shut up and write the next chapter Miss. Idiot.
Me: You are SO cruel to me.
Warnings; Yaoi! Strong Yaoi; And possibly implied lemons! wh00t!(I like Yaoi better then Shonen-ai) Language, Spoilers, Drama, and erm, romance. LOL! I thought like adding the last one in for the heck of it!
Also! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANGO! (squeak) I dedicate this chapter to you! Even tho I am publishing not exactly on your bday buuuut HAPPY BDAY!
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand
Eternal Souls
Open Your Heart To Me
"L loyd? Kratos, what happened to him? Are you sure he's dead?"
I sat down next to the seraphim, obviously worried about him. Kratos looked so devastated and hurt in the inside and the outside. His arms were shaking as he attempted to keep himself up and not collapsing. Tilting my head, I extended my hand and set it on his back, reassuringly. He didn't reply, but just breathed extremely heavily. I was really worried about Kratos. He lost Anna and almost lost himself in the process, and I'm sure the loss of his son would cause even more grief.
"He was killed in the Toize Mine..." Kratos suddenly replied. His eyes were filled with mental anguish and tears rolled down his face. The only other time I had seen Kratos truly break down was when Anna died. But this time, he seemed completely shaken and disturbed. I felt for him, I honestly did. Murmuring, I ran my hand through his hair and spoke softly.
"It'll be ok Kratos, I promise you that. I'm here for you, I won't ever leave," I spoke in the softest and sympathetic tone. His hair was as soft as silk, and any other time I would have taken advantage of Kratos, but right now he needed someone. A friend.
"I swore I'd protect him," Kratos spoke, shaking. He was looking down at the table, quivering from shock. A frown rolled across my face as I felt his heartache. I wrapped my arm around his back and patted his shoulder. Kratos was never depressed, usually I was the one who needed to be jerked from my inner woe, but now it my turn to show him I was here.
"It's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done. I know it hurts, but I'm here for you, you understand Kratos?" I spoke moving a strand of his auburn hair out of his face. Everything I had said earlier must have not registered with Kratos until now. Turning his head to look at me, he whimpered like a injured puppy.
"Yuan, it hurts," He spoke, closing his eyes off from the world. As he spoke I felt a low feeling inside me. Kratos couldn't cut off his heart to me, could he? Forget everything we've been through because of this never ending grief. I couldn't stand to think about it, as I pushed away all his hair in his face. So vulnerable and broken.
"I know it does Kratos, I know," I spoke thinking back to what I went through when Martel departed from the worlds. If Kratos wasn't there I would have lost my soul, whatever was left of it. And now I wouldn't left Kratos loose his soul. I loved him too much.
Kratos had broken down even worse by now. Tears rolled down his face and his body was shaking so frequently I was petrified about his health. His ruby eyes bore so man tears, I did the only thing I thought would help him. Anything to actually show him I was here.
Placing a kiss on his lips, I waited for Kratos' usual content response but he stood as still as stone. No expression hung in his frozen eyes. The tears stayed swelled up and he just starred at me. I tilted my head and ran my hand on his face.
"Relax Kratos," I murmured embracing once more. Kratos seemed to jolt back from his grief and shock when I spoke. The tears streamed down his face but he returned my gesture. Through all his pain and misery, I hoped he was content that I was here, providing him with what he needed.
"Thank you..." I heard him rasp in breaths. I broke away from a few moments and just starred at the seraphim. He had so much woe in his life, and every bit of it shone in his garnet eyes as he starred at me, with the most compassion he could muster up at the moment. It relaxed me a bit, and I'm sure he was starting to feel better.
"Anything for you," I replied looking at Kratos intently. At first I thought he was going to brush against me once more, but he leaned his head against my shoulder. A light smile glided across my lips and I held him close. He wasn't shaking as much, and I felt a bit relieved. He was such a strong willed soul, but this tragic end for his son shattered his heart.
"I love you, and you're one of the best things that ever happened to me," Kratos spoke lightly as he leaned against me. Just hearing those words filled me with joviality, even as good as a kiss. I ran my hand through his hair and stroked it slightly and whispered.
"You need to relax. Let me help you..." I spoke in his ear. Kratos' eye lit up softly as he snuggled in my arms, contentedly. The sweet fantasize of Kratos in my arms brought back all the memories that happened but Kratos suddenly answered softly.
"I want to stay in your arms forever. I'm safe with you and I never want that to change. It's taken all these years to fully believe that, but now I can never leave you," Kratos spoke. The tone around us softened increasingly and I could only smile at the seraphim and ran my hand across his face.
"I was hoping you'd feel that way. You need rest, let me help you up," I spoke. Kratos lifted his head and sighed. He still seemed flustered but the feeling was subsiding a bit and if I had it my way, he'd be fine again. Fine to be by my side forever.
"all right," He answered standing up, and placed a hand on my shoulder for support. After a few attempts, we made our way into his room. Kratos laid down and just starred out the window, head resting against his pillow. He shut his eyes and looked like he was trying to relax.
"Hmmm," I spoke to myself as I just watched him then turned to the door and started to walk out. But my heart pulled me back into the room and I could hear Kratos say something from his resting place.
"Don't go..."I heard him moan, eyes now tightly shut. Grinning, I turned around and sat down at the edge of his bed. Kratos rolled over and laid on his back and just looked over at me. Something flickered in his eyes as he breathed deeply and tried to keep his eyes open. He was fighting back his anguish.
"You need rest, I'll be right here," I advised laying down next to him and flashed a light smile at him. Returning the gesture, Kratos rolled on his side. I ran my hands through his hair until he rested."I'll always be here, so rest my angel. My guardian angel," I spoke kissing the side of his head. I knew Kratos was unconscious and it was a useless effort, but I wanted to tell myself how much I loved him. It was only a few more moments before I wrapped my arms around him and fell into sleep as well.
LINE BREAK
"Kratos? Are you awake?"
I traced his sleeping outline. He was still in a deep slumber, and seemed too content to wake up. This was the beginning of a new chapter of our lives and I knew I would have to be there for Kratos a lot more then I used to be. I watched as he murmured something in his sleep. Tilting my head, I perked up my ears and listened to what he was saying.
"Yuan..." He spoke, dream-like. My expression melted as the angel dreamed and called out for me in his sleep. He rolled over once more and I saw his eyes tightly shut, still asleep. I beamed at him and kissed his lips as he rested.
I was expecting no return gesture, seeing I had touched him so lightly, but I felt him push back in a blissful way. I broke away and starred at him, and noticed he was still in a light slumber. So he even wanted me in his sleep? I laughed to myself and got up and walked into the kitchen.
It was around dawn, seeing the sun was rising. I was still tired to be honest. But I knew Kratos was completely destroyed from what happened the night before. I looked at all the pancakes on the table and tried not to laugh and think about the memory of yesterday.
I was relaxing, just looking at the pancakes before I heard light footsteps in Kratos' room. Perking my ears up, I yawned and waited for Kratos' arrival. After a few moments with nothing, I tilted my head and watched the hall and his door. It was still tightly shut and I could hear light footsteps in it. At least he was awake.
I got up and walked down the hall and pushed open the door. Now see this was our situation flipped. I had no intentions at all for what I did, but it just happened. I starred blankly at Kratos. He was completely undressed. Turning a scarlet red, I stuttered and reached for the door, not taking my eyes off Kratos. Where was that door! I wanted to look over to find it so I could leave without acting like a pervert, but my eyes wouldn't budge from Kratos' body.
"I uh, uh, Ack!" I spoke, trying not to look at Kratos. My cheeks were as flustered as they go get and I was still flailing my arms in the air, trying to explain and find that damn door. Kratos starred blankly at me, and jumped at the blankets, a bit embarrassed. Still not taking my eyes off him, I slapped my hand across my face.
"I am so sorry Kratos, I didn't know you were awake and, and oh hell," I spoke covering my eyes as I heard Kratos scamper around the room to find his robe. After a few moments, I dared to open my eyes and saw him in his lilac bathrobe. Sighing with relief I sat down, still a dark red.
"Kratos.. I'm sorry, I probably look like a pervert," I spoke, looking downward. I paused for a moment and thought for a minute, trying to figure out why he had but on his robe and not his regular clothes. Just seeing him in his robe made my heart beat quicken. Shaking, I watched him sit down also.
"Yuan, calm down I'm not upset," He spoke, looking at me. That made me feel even worse. I had completely spazzed out on Kratos when he walked in on me, but yet he was taking my walking in so coolly. I was still blushing and just looked over at him.
"You're not mad?" I asked, stunned as ever. Just shaking his head, he put his hand on my shoulder. I could tell he was feeling much better, and was starting to relax. Something was on his mind yet again and I could only smile at the thought.
"No, not really," Kratos answered crossing his arms. Just seeing in a robe was torture enough. The robe didn't even fit him, it was five sizes too big. But for some reason I liked it like that. Lowering my gaze I stuttered, trying not to bring up Lloyd.
"Yuan, you feeling ok?" I heard Kratos ask looking at me studiously. No I wasn't ok. Just seeing Kratos undressed and then seeing him in that huge bathrobe of his, he was taunting me. I shook my head and passed any thoughts I had out of my head quickly.
"Yea, fine fine," I replied stubbornly. I wasn't like Kratos and didn't say what I wanted out loud. I pushed my hair out of my eyes and watched Kratos stare me. Just stare at me. I was beginning to feel uneasy and was shaking once more.
"Is something on your mind? You know can confide in me," Kratos spoke, moving closer next to me. I saw him move out of the corner of my eye and couldn't help but get nervous once more. Was I really just a push over who took others leads? Maybe I should take my own leads. Just possibly.
"Actually Yes," I replied. I gave myself a smile. I had to take control and a lead sometime. Kratos couldn't get the lead all the time, that just wouldn't be fair to me. Kratos just starred at me, I'm sure he wasn't expecting me to say something was in my mind. I usually was secretive about my worries and needs.
"What is it?" Kratos asked, he looked almost concerned what was on my mind. My heart sank, if anyone should be sad and depressed it would be Kratos, but the sleep he took might have cleared his mind. I smirk rolled across my face and I thought for a few seconds.
"This," I spoke leaning over and kissing his lips. Kratos seemed stunned at my sudden assertiveness but seemed like he was enjoying it. He returned the gesture and I brought him closer to me.
I never had had felt his bathrobe before, it was softer then it looked. At first looks it looked gurney but now I saw how soft it was. By now I was entangled with Kratos on his bed. He looked intently at me and smiled.
"What's with your sudden guidance," Kratos asked as I starred at him in-between breaths. He had the oddest wording, and every time he said something like that, something stupid, it broke the mood a lot. I pulled him closer and could only give him a smirk.
"Shut up..." I spoke. Not cruelly, just more so a demand. Kratos looked stunned at how serious I was acting and only laughed to himself but I cut him off, leaning in for another kiss.
Kratos was always the one to take the lead. He was always leading both of us at everything. But now it was my turn, and I saw Kratos wasn't objecting at all. Just being with Kratos made everything better. I had always been in love him, for all these four thousand years.
"Yuan," I heard Kratos ring out breaking away. Looking stunned I fixed my hair and watched Kratos looked worriedly. He also fixed his bathrobe and cleared his throat looking down. Was something wrong with me taking the lead. I tried not to scowl, so I just starred at him blankly.
"What?" I replied, trying not to hiss. I squinted my eyes, trying not to act crude. Kratos looked back up at me and seemed depressed again. And things were going so good.
"I can't do this anymore... I should be grieving for Lloyd," Kratos spoke looking away. I twitched uneasily. Sure he should be sad, but for us not to do things together just because Lloyd passed away? I thought back at a few nights ago and sighed. That was possibly the first and last time.
"..." I didn't reply. I had nothing to say to him. Kratos sighed, grabbed his regular clothes and left the room just like that. My heart sank, so low I felt like throwing up because it hurt so bad. I clenched my fists and bit down on my lip.
"Damnit Kratos," I hissed kicking a random piece of furniture in anger. I knew Kratos felt bad, but just what he said to me is what really ticked me off. He had no right to put Lloyd in our relationship. He had no purpose in this equation, and to think that could have been my last moment with Kratos.
"Yuan," I perked my ears up and saw Kratos renter the room, still in his robe. My eyes flickered from relief then to a sudden annoyance at the seraphim. I crossed my arms and waited to see what Kratos was going to say. Nothing he could say could make me feel any better.
"What do you want? You already made it pretty clear that you don't want to be around me, so leave me alone," I hissed angrily, turning away. I looked downward at my crossed arms, and at the pale carpet. I closed my eyes and puffed out my cheeks, as annoyed as ever.
Kratos looked over at me and sat down on the bed next to me. I tried not to snarl my teeth as him, but right now I was so mad. I just wanted him to go away. But of course, I didn't want him to go either. I wanted him when he was himself, not when he's depressed.
"Yuan, I didn't mean that. I'm just, addled over this whole thing. I'm sorry if I offended you," Kratos spoke, rubbing my hair. Twitching, I looked over at him and saw he really meant what he was saying. Kratos gently slipped his hand over my face and brought me closer. "I would never want you to leave,"
I remained silent as Kratos leaned in and kissed me softly. I looked him straight in the eye, both our faces together. He was starring so daringly at me, my heart began to race and skip a few beats.
"Kratos,"I whispered, he held my head softly as I spoke. He tilted his head and softened his gaze.
"Yes?" He asked, still holding my head close to him. I couldn't breath any longer as we just sat there, looking at each other. I blinked for a few seconds then thought.
"Let me help relieve the pain for you," I spoke, running my hand through his hair. His stare was soft but concentrated on me. Only on me, and I knew I could ease the pain for him. I knew that if he let me I could lessen his heart ache. I knew he needed me more then ever.
"Humph," He spoke as we shared another kiss. All I could do was to just sit there. Every time Kratos took the lead I became powerless. Not from being told to, It just felt so right when Kratos took the lead. Every exchange of breath we took, I felt more compelled to allow Kratos to do what he pleased with me. And I loved every second and every minute I spent with him. I could feel his hands run across me.
"Kratos?"
"Yes?" I heard Kratos speak by my side, I sat laying down looking at the ceiling. Kratos tilted his head as he watched me. He ran his hand across my face delicately.
"Never mind," I spoke looking away from him. Shifting his head, he set his hand on my lips and gave me a kindhearted expression.
"It's ok, I'll be fine Yuan, don't worry about me," Kratos reassured me. Trying my hardest not to sigh, I smiled at him. With a returning smile, Kratos kissed me once more and whispered in my ear gently.
"Thank you for helping me..." He spoke as we held each other close. Looking at him as the rain gently fell in the background, I grinned casually.
"Your welcome Kratos, just open your heart to me."
Author's Note:
Implied Lemons! (sings badly) Lol! I had the WORST time at Ruby Tuesday! Before we went in while we were on the road I saw this guy, on a bike that looked JUST like Jack Nicholson from The Shining. We went in Ruby Tuesdays, Then it started to rain, the lights flickered and coming down the hill next to the resturant was that guy! I like screamed! He came in soaking wet and the whole place starred at him. I was so flipping out! I shoved fifty cheesefries in my mouth. lol!
Nall: that was NOT Jack Nicholson..
Me: lol it was!