Disclaimer: I do not own Furi Kuri, or Modest Mouse's 'Dramamine.' Too bad, they are both great works of art.
Cold breath whispered against adolescent cheeks, long hair swirling slightly as a breeze played. Naota rubbed his hands together briskly, sick of the cold. He slowly turned and looked at the porch light, wishing it to go out, out and forever. Then, maybe he could be alone. He felt more alone in the dark, more secure. And in the cold. At least in the cold, he knew he could still feel. He turned back to his usual spot of sky, staring blankly, and wondered.
She had been gone for so long, Haruko. So damned long, he didn't know what to do anymore. His marks in school had never been good, but now he barely ever went at all. It wasn't worth it; he had learned all he could there. The other children that went there didn't seem to understand what he felt, what he knew. About life, and about love. A small scowl broke across his smooth features, at the thought of love. Love had never really done anything at all for him. It had only hurt him, hurt him and others.
He distantly remembered a girl sobbing, sobbing and begging him to come and hold her. He had stared at Ninamori's crying form for well over 15 minutes, confused. How could she feel so much for him? He had only told her to shut up, ignored her. And yet, she persisted to try and love him, but he couldn't love anyone else. Haruko had drained his heart, and he would never love again. Mamimi loved him, but not because he was a sweet, adorable little boy. It was because he reminder her of his brother, the now American baseball player. The traitor.
He had always looked up to his brother, but all he had done was give up the girl who loved him for a career. Naoto snorted softly, shaking his head. Who was he to talk about leaving a girl? Ninamori had sobbed for him to love her, and would have done anything for him to. But he just couldn't love someone so much immature. She was loving, and everything she could have wanted, but what he needed was someone with tragedy. Tragedy fit him, and only Haruko or Mamimi could seem to fit that image. At least, that was what he told himself.
Shoving his hands in his pockets to avoid the biting cold, Naota stood up and turned around, ready to bear the burden of his once proud father. He was such a freak, but he loved Naoto in some strange way. He always seemed to pester him, and try to steal his girlfriends, and he was a pervert, but he loved his son. Too bad the feeling wasn't really shared.
Cocking his head slightly, he began to hear a slight song in the back of his head, a pleasant, happy tune. Perhaps the neighbors were playing some of their music, though he had never heard them do it before. He listened to the music, finally realizing how truly beautiful it was, wanting to find something better to do than to go inside and face his father again. Not again. Better to listen to this beautiful music…
His feet started moving, as they sometimes do, started to walk. They began to move into his house, though he had no intentions of staying in there. He blankly walked past his father, who gave him a small smile. But he heard none of it, just the melodic sounds of an electric guitar over the tapping of a drum and the strum of a bass. Beautiful…
"Naota-kun, where are you going?" He asked in his annoying whining voice, but Naota heard a much different voice, and this one was singing.
"Traveling swallowing Dramamine
Feeling spaced breathing out Listerine."
The words made little sense to him, these beautiful words. They seemed to fade in and out of his head, punctuated by the strums of the bass in the background. The tone of the music and the words seemed to make him fall into a trance, as he walked outside and into the world, the harsh clouds overhead simply adding to the song.
"I'd said what I'd said that I'd tell ya
and that you'd killed the better part of me."
The Song, whatever it was called, seemed to float through him, making more and more sense as it went on. His thoughts flashed to Mamimi, Haruko, and Ninamori; and what he had said to all of them. Mamimi had taken his innocence, Ninamori had taken his ability to care, and Haruko had taken his heart. Forever.
"If you could just milk it for everything…
I've said what I'd said and you know what I mean,
but I still can't focus on anything."
The words resounded harmonically through his soul, the bass lines seeming to set his footsteps. It even began to rain, ironically. The rain seemed to cool him down, as his feet began pounding, running and running. He knew where.
"We kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves."
He let out a bark of a laugh, knowing what was going to happen. It made so much sense, the singer seemed to punch his heart and whisper him the truth, nothing made sense. And by knowing that, you could know nothing.
"Traveling swallowing Dramamine,
Look at your face like you're killed in a dream."
He was running up stairs, running and running up them. Perhaps now he would know the truth. The smooth metal and plastic of the Medical Mechanica building flew by him, though maybe time was slowing down. His memory conjured up the image of Mamimi, her face cold and lit by a pale cigarette. She had been so beautiful, so sad. He hated his brother for what he had done to her, she was so beautiful. And she would probably die from something stupid, like suicide. She might die because of him.
"And you think you've figured out everything
I think I know my geometry pretty damn well."
Ninamori… She had loved him, loved him as much as a person could. And he had brutally ignored her, told her to go away. She was beautiful, too, in her arrogant way. She was smart and cocky, knowing what she could do. But he knew what had to be done, while she was stuck on silly little things like winning or ambition. Winning would never make her happy, he knew. Swinging only led to winning, and winning led to being bothered. And when you were bothered, you never felt more alone.
"You say what you need so you'll get more
if you could just milk it for everything…"
Haruko, Haruko had used him. She had used him to find Atomsk, to use his head. After all, his was the only one that worked. His feet slowed down as he took the last few steps to the edge of the building, looking like a giant iron. The ground was tilted, tilted towards the Earth, like it was stuck in some weird gravity field and would never stop falling. Haruko had said anything, done anything to make him love her, and that had torn his heart out. The music rang through his head, and he knew what he had to do.
"I've said what I said and you know what I mean
but I can't still focus on anything…"
He sang the words with the singer, letting the truth crash over him, slowly yet surely. This nothing town was full of empty faces, full of the people who had hurt him. He couldn't focus, couldn't see what he wanted. All because of those women, all because of their ways. The singer faded off at the last line, though Naota shouted it. He ran towards the edge of the building, determined to know what it was like to fall. The electric guitar and bass seemed to flow through him one last time; he reached out with both hands…
And he flew.
Let me know what you think.