Halfmetal Alchemist: Chapter 16

Various Cracks on Edward's Height

Edward waved Fuhrer Havoc's orders in front of the desk lady's face. "I need to see the Fuhrer's stand-in!" he said. The lady looked at him over the top of her glasses and laughed. Edward sweat dropped as she asked where his parents were. He ran his hand through his spikish short hair irritibly. "Look, I just need to see him! I have an order from Fuhrer Havoc!" The lady checked a schedule and made small notes on pieces of paper, almost totally ignoring him. "Are you a dwarf or something?" Edward preferred to let the comment slide.

"Do you do this every time you come to HQ? You should go find your parents." A vein pulsed in Edward's temple. "It's important business! Look!" She took the paper with a sigh, scrutinized it, and handed it back. "Riiiight... and how am I supposed to know if this is authentic or not? Can you prove it?"

Edward looked at the paper. "Um... No..."

"Then just schedule an appointment and the stand-in will see you in..." she stopped and looked at him again. "You know... your height really bothers me, you're a dwarf, aren't you?" Edward's jaw clenched.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SPECK SO SMALL THAT ANOTHER SPECK COULD STEP ON IT AND NOT NOTICE?" He screamed.

Havoc poked his head around the corner. "Hm... only one person I know could be so loud about his height... Ed?" Edward finished his tirade and stared at Havoc. "Where have you been, Ed? Everyone's been looking for you." Edward shrugged noncommitedly and handed the paper to Havoc. "What's this?" he scanned the order and scrutinized the signature. "Yep, this is definitely my old man's writing. Wow, Ed, I wouldn't have expected you to go all the way toWest Sector and back for this. And now that I see this... I guess I haven't written in a while..."

He waved at Edward to follow and follow he did. He passed up two floors and went to the back office, but before he opened the door, someone handed him the phone, whispering something about orders. Havoc took the phone, listened to what was being said, and turned white as a sheet. Edward stared at him some more. "That's fine, yes, I'll tell her... Oh God, I'm done for..." he opened the door hesitantly.

"Riza?"

"Yes, come in Havoc." she looked at Edward, then at Havoc. "I told you not to bring children into the building, Havoc."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS SHORTY?"

Riza started in surprise. "Edward? Is that you?" Edward nodded, still in a huff. "I didn't recognize you, your hair is short, you look different." Edward shrugged. What had he looked like before anyway? "I'm sorry Edward. Now, what did you come for? You haven't been around for a long while."

Edward shuffled uncomfortably and his eyes darted around the room for a distraction. They rested on a large picture hung up on the wall behind the desk, and he pointed eyes wide. "The dark-haired smirky man!" he cried. Riza looked back at the enlarged photograph of her family, their family.

"Oh, Roy? You don't remember Roy?" Edward shook his head, watching her questioningly.

"You know! Your brother-in-law Roy! You married his sister, remember?" Havoc said.

"I was married...?" he looked down at his feet. Riza arched her fingertips. "You... don't remember... of course! You want your records, don't you?" Edward bobbed his head up and down enthusiastically. Riza rummaged around for a paper to sign for them, then stopped. "Oh... but I can't give them to you..."

"Why not?"

"My husband, Roy... before he left he said that no records were to be given out without his signature... and nobody knows where he is. He hasn't written to me recently since he went to Lior, so I have no idea if he's still there or not..." she caught the almost too innocent look on his face. She whipped out her gun and pointed it at him, and Havoc backed up against the wall. "Uh.. ah... Riza, you really don't want to shoot me do you? Come on..." she pulled the trigger and the bullet slammed into the wall next to his head and he yelped. "You do want to shoot me!" he howled. Edward held back the urge to laugh, thinking that he had seen this scene play out many, many times before, and not just with poor Havoc.

"What do you know, Havoc?" she whispered threateningly. "I-I... uh... I don't know!" She shot another bullet into the wall on the other side of his head. "One more chance, Havoc!"

"Okay! There wasa bomb, and he went to disarm it! We don't know what happened after that!" she stared at him,a murderous look in her eyes. "YOU'RE LYING." She shot a bullet right above his head and poor Havoc shook his head. He was almost foaming at the mouth in fright.

"N-NO! I called him to tell him there was a bomb in Lior, and he said he was going to disarm it! And then, I just got a call right now that said that the bomb detonated, and he was there! D-DON'T KILL ME RIZA! I'M BEGGING YOU!"

Riza's mind was fumbling with what he had just said. "No... not my Roy..." Then she fainted. Havoc kneeled over her and shook her shoulder. "Riza..." Ilia took this exact moment to walk in the office, an old Black Hayate at her heels. Seeing two men kneeling over her knocked out mother, she immediately jumped to the worst conclusion. "GET AWAY FROM MY MOM! GET EM BLACK HAYATE!" Black Hayate growled and jumped onHavocin a snarling mass of black and white fur. Ilia picked up awooden chair and threw it at Edward's head, and he jumped out of the way narrowly missing pieces of splintering wood.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Edward protested. Ilia looked foranother heavy object to throw and picked up her father's desk chair. "Yeah, right! Just get away from my mother youpervertedlittle midget!"

Edward twitched. "I'M NOT AMIDGET, DAMMIT, I'M NOT A CHILD, I'M AN ADULT! I'M THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST FOR GOD'S SAKE!" he yelled taking Ilia by the shoulders and shaking her.Black Hayate's three pups nosed open the door and bounded in, sniffing Riza and pawing and licking at her face. She bolted upright and Black Hayate put his paws on hershoulders, licking her face. "Ah! Black Hayate!" she petted him andthe pups and got up, brushing herself off in a dignified manner.

"Alright... we'll just have to look for Roy..."

"Or the pieces of him!" Havoc piped up.Riza gave him a nasty look and heclosed his mouth again.

"We'll get him to fill out the papers and we'll get your records, Edward."

"But what if youdofind his pieces Riza?"

"YOU BETTER HOPE I DON'T, BECAUSE I'LL KILL YOUFOR CALLING HIM OUT THERE INSTEAD OF THE BOMB SQUAD, JEAN HAVOC."

Havoc foamed at the mouth and gave a shaky salute. "Yes ma'am..."

"Come on Edward, we'll have to leave soon."

"Mom? Are you leaving too?" Ilia whispered. Riza walked over to her and hugged her tightly. "Go over to Elysia's house and tell her what happened.I'm sure Mrs.Hughes will take care of you and Maes... tell her I'm sorry for dropping you on her on such shortnotice..." Ilia sighed and hugged her back."What do I tell Maes?""Tell himMommy had to go find Daddy. He'll understand... eventually."

"Bye Mom..."

Havoc saluted Riza. "I'll keep watch over them as well, if it makes you feel better." To tell the truth, Havoc was feeling a bit guilty as well. Riza nodded and Edward followed her out. He was going to get his records, and perhaps Riza could tell him more about himself on the way to find the Fuhrer... in pieces or not.

So... is Roy in pieces? And will Havoc die a mysterious death after Riza comes back! I really like Havoc tho, but I like torturing him too. So tell me, dear reviewers... should I go to Alphonse and Winry, or back to Roy? Tell me what you guys want, and the majority will win! - T A