Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis would never belong to me
Chapter 3: Their Respective Pain
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"Nyah, she is so small!"
"Eiji, she is supposed to be small, she is no more than three!" Oishi argued.
"But she is so small; perhaps I can train her in acrobatics." The red head pondered seriously.
With the child in his lap, Fuji smiled benignly at his team mates.
"Fuji-senpai, is she hungry? I have a burger here, I was saving it for supper, but if she is hungry…"
"Momo-senpai, no one is as greedy as you…"
"Echizen, you ate just as many burgers as I did!"
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did…"
The capped boy went head to head with his, just as stubborn, senior. Making a growling sound in his throat, Ryoma butted his head more firmly against the spiked-head senior.
By doing so, he had dislodged his cap, which wasn't a problem; the problem was that it landed on the little girl whom everyone was fascinated about.
Almost instantaneously, a part of the cap disappeared into the girl's mouth.
The van went up in roars of laughter, which was silenced by their leader's glare.
Just as Ryoma was going to retrieve his cap from the moist trap of the little baby, she gurgled happily and snuggled around the out-stretched hand of Ryoma.
They say love on first sight was possible, well, it was possible.
The moment he felt the soft hand going around his slightly muscled arm, he was charmed.
Eiji-senpai was right, she was small, and very soft too, he thought.
When he realized that everyone was secretly laughing at his enchanted face, even Tezuka who of course betrayed only a tiny curl of his lips, he tried to extract his arm from the baby's grip.
When the baby hung on like an octopus's tentacles, he gave up. He was afraid that somehow, if he pulled too hard, the baby would be hurt. But the truth was that it was nice to have something warm and living holding onto your arm.
So he ended up sitting on the hard floor of the van, his arm obediently left in the hands of the little baby.
The trip back to their headquarters was supposed to be less than thirty minutes, yet with his arm tucked so warmly against the baby, the trip seemed so short.
When they were alighted from the van, where a group of specially trained cleaners came up to totally sterilized the vehicle and in process get rid of all evidences.
Ryoma was now carrying the baby, since she had an obvious attachment to his arm. He was a little fearful that he would drop her, for the baby felt so soft and warm, like a precious little being that meant to be pampered.
Moving at a snail speed, he lagged behind everyone except Fuji and Tezuka, who apparently do not trust him with holding their new little daughter.
"Kuni-chan" Ryoma silently gagged at the nickname, but he didn't dare show it unless he had a death wish.
"We should go to the legal system and get the adoption legal"
At the mention of the legal system, Ryoma tensed up and tightened his arms around the soft bundle laying so trustingly in his hold.
The baby shifted uncomfortably at the tight hold.
Looking at the innocent face sleeping so peacefully brought back unwanted memories and Ryoma abruptly pushed the baby into Fuji's arms.
Tugging his arm out from the baby's grip, with well-practiced pulls from all the years of suffering Eiji's cuddles, he walked away, forgoing his cap which was still trapped in the baby's mouth.
Walking with his usual strut, he moved away, his face again had its nonchalant mask, hiding his pain, his memories and his past.
Staring after the boy who had suffered so much under the works of the legal system, they could understand his reaction.
Each and every one of the ShiniNingyoo had their pasts, each had a mission of their own, and each had their own pain to deal with and a person to avenge.
Staring down at the little face of the baby, Fuji wondered if she could bring some happiness into their lives, he wondered if one day she could save them from themselves.
"Fuji, are we right to bring her here?"
Fuji understood, in a way, they had saved her from a certain death, but by keeping her, they pulled her into their lives, forcing her to live a life filled with uncertainties.
"Perhaps we could raise her as Tezuka and Fuji's child and not as the future assassin."
"Tezuka…"
Tezuka leaned closer to the man he had came to love more than life, kissing him gently on the forehead, he gathered him close to him, once again seeking the unique warmth only Fuji could bring him.
"Daijoubu, everything will work out fine."
It was the only thing Tezuka could promise Fuji, for he would do anything to make sure everything stays fine for Fuji, even if it meant forgoing his life.
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When Tezuka and Fuji stepped into the hall, there were surprised to see all the ShiniNingyoo members gathered there.
They looked at the tiny girl as if hoping that she would jump up and start performing miracles.
When she didn't, the members continued to be fascinated by the little being. In their lives, violence and death dominated, most of the time they took away lives, yet to see their leader brought back a little life, it was something that touched them, even if it went against the rules.
Fuji kept his smile secured on his face as he walked to his room, ignoring, or trying to, the group of people following him.
Slowly, as he neared his room, the crowd trickled to a few, perhaps they lost interest of the baby, or mostly likely it was due to their leader's stares.
He didn't look back, as he closed his door to the curious glances of the members. He knew that Tezuka wouldn't come to him.
Every time after a mission, they would stay in their respective rooms. Trying to clear their minds of the killing they have seen. Perhaps to others, killing to assassins like them should have become a habit, yet it was still hard.
Putting the soft bundle on his bed, Fuji surrounded her with his pillows and lined the floor around the bed with blankets.
Is this how a mother would feel, trying her best to protect her little one? Then why didn't my mother…
Shaking his head lightly to erase the despondent thoughts, he moved quietly to the closet. He pulled out a light-colored turtle-neck and a dark khaki pants.
Not closing the bathroom door completely, he went about his toiletries. Almost subconsciously, he was listening for any signs of distress from the little girl.
Showering quickly, he went out, after checking the baby again, he went to his study table.
Laying out the documents he had brought along from his house, he went through the contract again.
Sometimes having to resume your normal life after such a night was a burden.
As assassins, all of them led a double life. When there weren't any mission or training, they would be just like any one else, working to earn money, playing the role of a normal human being, blending in with the rest.
There were times, when he wanted to end this kind of lifestyle. Either, become a full assassin and live twenty four seven in the headquarters like the instructing assassins, or simply quit being an assassin.
Putting his head down on his arms, he decided that he should take a short nap before heading back to the city in the morning.
And there is still the baby to consider…the baby…
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"Matte Yuuta, we should wait for Nee-san and Ka-san…"
"Iya da, let's go first aniki! We can wait for them there!"
"Demo…"
"Come on aniki!"
"Matte Yuuta…"
Seeing that he had to either follow Yuuta or he could wait there for his sister and mother, he decided to go after Yuuta.
Nee-san is old enough to go there by herself and she had Ka-san…
Running after Yuuta, he moved forth.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
The loud gunshots sent slight vibrations up and through his body.
He wanted to turn back.
His sister is in danger.
He could hear her calling his name.
Syuusuke, help me! Come back…come back…
Syuusuke…
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"Syuusuke, wake up" a short and sharp sting made his cheek tingled.
Sitting up abruptly, his senses focused back in a second due to his years of intense training, he looked into the worried eyes of Tezuka.
"Ah Tezuka, why are you in my room?"
"I heard you moaning when I was heading back to my room, are you alright?"
"Hai, I am fine now, it was…" he lowered his eyes and turned to check on the girl. Apparently today had been a hard day for her, she was sleeping so soundly.
"It was that dream" Tezuka finished for him, "again."
There were many nights when he would hold him, speaking senseless words gently into his ears, pulling him from the terror that had gripped him so hard it almost suffocated him.
"…"
Fuji didn't reply him; Tezuka knew that Fuji would never trust anyone enough to tell them about the pain that bound him almost nightly to the replay of his most painful memories.
It hurt at first, knowing that Fuji didn't trust him. But soon he realized that, that pain, that memories are the things that pushed him on, giving him energy to live on. To share that pain and memories, would be diminishing his will to fight on.
It was the same for you, you never fully trusted him too.
Pulling him out of the chair, he moved Fuji towards the blanket he had spread on the floor.
Pushing him down, he made him lean against the bed. Finally sitting down himself, he pulled him back into his arms.
It was minutes later when he felt Fuji's breathing slowed to a steady pace. Looking down at the peaceful and beautiful face, he sat there, waiting to soothe him if the nightmare came back to haunt him again.
That night Tezuka didn't sleep a wink, his mind was again tortured by the faded past he wanted to forget.
Unlike Fuji, he wanted to move on, but the screams kept him back. Revenge was the only way to silent those screams.
Father, mother, grandfather, when will I wake up from this sleep that was always resonating with your cries and screams?
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Author's note: Alright minna, I am officially going back into my Angst mode. Apparently I am not cut out to write dramatic stuff! Sigh, but I tried my best and it was a good experience.
Thanks for all your reviews, no matter what; I learnt something from all your advices! Doumo!