Introduction
Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.
As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.
As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.
When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?
Chapter Eight; The Power Of Choice
"I wonder where Fai-san is…I was under the impression that he would be well enough to have breakfast with us today." Syaoran remarked, glancing at the door again. Sighing, he looked back down at the newspaper he was reading, glancing through the headlines for signs of anything unusual happening in this country recently. He'd been pleasantly surprised to find that the writing system here had been practically identical to Clow's own, and whilst Mokona had been able to tell that there was no feather here, Syaoran wanted to keep his eye open for any sign of Ashura following them.
"I'm sure Fai-san will come if he gets hungry. Maybe he's still not feeling that good." Sakura replied, smiling as she helped herself to another serving of rice. Syaoran blinked before grinning at her, causing the princess to blush ever so slightly.
"Ah, that damn mage can starve for all I care. If he wants to be a recluse, let him." Kurogane growled half-heartedly, hitting Mokona as their small companion attempted to steal his serving of rice.
"Well, I'm sorry to see that you feel that way." A lilting voice replied, and all four looked up to see Fai coming through the doorway. The blonde waved at them chirpily, moving to sit down next to Sakura and beginning to fill his bowl.
"Fai-san! We thought that you were still too ill to eat with us!" Sakura said, happily clapping her hands. Fai simply smiled at her and shook his head, before picking up a pair of chopsticks and staring woefully at them.
"No, I'm practically healed, Sakura-chan. I should be fine by tomorrow. I was just…thinking."
Kurogane frowned as he saw the pained expression briefly pass over the blonde's face, but held back from saying anything, afraid of getting in too deep again. >I mean, look at last time. I went to confront him about his false smiles, and I ended up getting into a serious relationship with him! Who knows what would happen now if I asked him what was wrong?>
"I wouldn't bother if I were you." He growled instead, gazing levelly at Fai. "Too much thinking might make that sorry excuse for a brain of yours explode."
Fai ignored the meaningless jab, knowing by now that it didn't mean that Kurogane was actually trying to hurt him. He'd realised long ago that remarks like these were the ninja's way of pushing people away, and if Kurogane wanted to try and go back to the way things had been before…well, that was up to him. Fai was in no position to try and persuade him otherwise, since he was as yet unsure of what exactly he could offer Kurogane in a relationship. Care and devotion? Certainly. Everlasting love? He still wasn't sure.
"Oh!" Syaoran suddenly exclaimed, his body growing tense as he stared at the article that had caught his attention.
"Syaoran-kun? Is something wrong?" Sakura asked softly, getting up and moving to look over his shoulder at the paper.
Syaoran simply lifted his head to stare wordlessly at Fai, his face solemn. Fai stiffened, already knowing that whatever the brown haired teenager had to say wouldn't be good.
"Fai-san…" Syaoran began carefully, keeping his voice neutral and emotionless. "Do you think that you're in good enough condition to skip worlds again?" Fai winced at Syaoran's overly calm tone, glancing instinctively at Kurogane, needing the other man's comfort. To his surprise, Kurogane reached over without being asked, tightly gripping one of Fai's pale hands in his own.
"It's…It's Ashura, isn't it? Somehow, he's found a way to follow us much faster than Yuuko said he would be able to without a feather…right?" Fai whispered hoarsely, feeling his carefully constructed masks come crashing down for what seemed the millionth time.
For months he'd been able to keep up the facade of being carefree…even when he'd been with Kurogane, he'd been able to keep himself hidden from Sakura and Syaoran. But these last few days, with Ashura's return into his life…his layers of pretence had been cruelly ripped away, and Fai hated how he became so exposed to the world.
"I don't know…but it seems like it." Syaoran said hesitantly, handing over the paper for Fai to see. Heart in his mouth, Fai gazed shakily down at the print, brow furrowing as he scanned through the article.
In the early hours of yesterday evening, police were summoned to a house on the outskirts of the city after receiving a call from the owner saying that a pale man with long dark hair had just appeared in his garden and was attempting to gain access to the house. When officers arrived at the location, they found the patio door smashed and the owner dead on the sitting room floor.
Later analysis of the body proved that death was due to natural causes, as the owner's body appeared to have shut down suddenly. However, questions have been raised about the appearance of the intruder, and the likelihood of a healthy man's body shutting down with no warning at all.
Fai closed his eyes, bringing his free hand up to massage his temples lightly, unable to believe it. After all this time…after he'd spent so long running…Ashura had caught up with him for the second time in a single week.
"It's him." He said tiredly, dropping the paper carelessly down upon the table. Seeing the anxious faces looking at him, he gave a weak chuckle and waved his hand offhandedly at them, almost as though he couldn't care less about his pursuer's reappearance.
"It appears that Ashura-ou is draining the life force of other people to fuel his own energy levels, making up for the power it took him to jump worlds without the feather. By harnessing the power of their souls and converting them into pure magic, Ashura-ou has a practically limitless source of magic now." Fai sighed, looking down at the table.
"So we can just skip worlds tonight, then? I'll start packing…" Sakura began, moving towards her room. But to her surprise, Fai's hand shot out and lightly caught her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.
"No, Sakura-chan. It's too late for that now. No matter how far we run, or how many worlds we move through, Ashura will always be there. Now that he's worked out how to harvest people's spirits, he'll never have to worry about energy loss between journeys again." Fai whispered.
"But…but…what can we do, then? If we stay here, he'll only discover us in the end!" Sakura exclaimed in confusion, staring uncertainly at Fai through huge emerald eyes. The blonde Seresuan simply released her wrist and shrugged, a bitter smile gracing his features.
"There's only one thing we can do, Sakura-chan. I have to give myself up to him." Fai said quietly.
Instantly, Kurogane was on his feet, grabbing Fai by the shoulders and shaking hard, his grip tightening until it was probably painful.
"The hell you are! Damnit, Fai, you are not going back to him like this! Not after you've managed to elude him for so long!" Kurogane bellowed, finally releasing Fai and practically throwing the blonde back into his seat.
To his annoyance, Fai simply smiled at him, although it was much sadder and bittersweet than his usual masks were.
"Can't you see, Kurogane? He's won. I can't evade him anymore. The game's over, and I lost."
"But Fai-san…" Syaoran began, gazing levelly at the older man. "I'm sure that there's another way around this. If we can just move on to another world, I'm sure we can come up with a plan…"
Fai shook his head, staring seriously back at the teenager.
"No, Syaoran-kun. There's no other way. Plus, it would make it harder to find the hime's feathers, and that's what you started this journey for, ne? I don't want to make things difficult for you like that."
"You wouldn't be! We could work around it." Sakura pleaded, hands clasped in front of her as if in prayer. Fai just shrugged, looking down at the table, unable to meet her gaze.
"No, Sakura-chan. The road ends here. I will find Ashura-ou today and agree to go back to Seresu with him." His words laden with a tone of finality, Fai pushed back his chair and stood up, turning to leave. But before he could go anywhere, a harsh voice rang out.
"So you're just going to run back to him? That sadistic slimeball of a king!" Kurogane demanded, jumping to his own feet and moving to stand behind Fai. When the blonde made no reply, Kurogane seized his arm and spun him sharply round to face him, forcing Fai to look at him.
"You're just going to give up on yourself? You're going to give up…give up…" Kurogane's voice halted, and he glared angrily down at the slender blonde, feeling his crimson eyes narrowing at the look of dull acceptance on Fai's face. >Ah, screw it.>
"You're going to give up…on us?" He finished, before swooping down to capture Fai's lips with his own, in a kiss just as passionate as their very first one from so long ago. Fai responded, but Kurogane felt the difference almost immediately, and pulled away, lips still tingling from Fai's kiss…a bittersweet one that had been more sadness than passion.
"You are, aren't you?" He said softly, gazing at Fai with hurt eyes. "You're not going to even try and rebuild our relationship. You're just going to go running back to him like a dumb, faithful dog."
Fai leaned up and pressed his lips gently against Kurogane's own, before moving back and cupping Kurogane's face with a pale hand.
"But we don't have a relationship, do we Kuro-pii? All we have are wishes and dreams. You said it yourself; you're just one of Tomoyo-hime's protectors…and I'm a shattered shell who's still hung up on the one who broke me."
Closing his eyes in a pained expression, Fai opened them again to reveal crystal blue eyes that were glistening with unshed tears. If he was going to do this to Kurogane, the least he could do was to do it without the masks of nonchalance he'd hidden behind for years. The least he could do was show Kurogane his real self as he said his final goodbyes to him.
"Don't get me wrong, Kuro-wan, I do love you. But I love Ashura-ou more, despite everything he's done to me." Stepping back, Fai let a watery grin spread across his face, even as he wiped his eyes furiously with his sleeve.
"At the end of the day, all that I can really look forward to is Ashura-ou's lies. And yet somehow…that's enough for me." Finding himself unable to keep looking Kurogane in the face, Fai let out a weak chuckle and turned away, showing only his back to the four other people in the room.
"These last few months have meant more to me than you could ever know. So I want to thank you for allowing me to be a part of your quest…and for letting me be your comrade…your friend."
Pausing at the door, Fai turned his head slightly, just enough for the group to see a glimpse of blue eyes and the sad curve of a smile.
"Syaoran-kun…look after Sakura-chan for me, ok? And make sure that he doesn't get too serious, hime. And Mokona…don't give Kurogane the chance to stay in control. I may not be around, but you can still find ways to tease him, I'm sure."
Taking a deep breath, Fai face forwards again, hand resting lightly on the doorknob.
"Kurogane…thankyou. For everything."
And with those words, he was gone.
For a moment, all was silent in the house as the group stared after Fai, their gazes unwavering even though he was already out of sight. Then the feeling of shock passed, and Kurogane let out an angry roar, slamming his fist down on the table.
"He can't do this…we have to stop him!" Sakura cried, beginning to move for the door. But Syaoran was faster, and he caught her around the middle, pulling her back into his arms.
"Syaoran-kun! Let me go!" Sakura struggled against him, unable to understand why Syaoran was stopping her like this. However, he refused to let go, and instead she was forced to give up, standing limply in his embrace.
"Why! Why!" She sobbed, tears running down her face.
"Because this was Fai's choice. He didn't leave because he was forced to…he left because he decided that he wanted to stay with Ashura, despite the way he treats him. He finally realised exactly who held his heart." Kurogane said quietly, unable to disguise the pain Fai's choice had caused him.
"Don't get me wrong, Kuro-wan, I do love you. But I love Ashura-ou more, despite everything he's done to me. At the end of the day, all that I can really look forward to is Ashura-ou's lies. And yet somehow…that's enough for me."
"Damnit!" He cursed bitterly, letting himself drop into a nearby chair. How could he have let this happen? How could he have allowed himself to fall for a mage, who at the end of the day had never been able to truly love him, or promise to never leave him?"How old are you, Kurogane?"
"What should my age matter to you, hime? What are you babbling on about this time?"
"How many years have you walked this planet, Kurogane? And yet, have you ever found the time to be in love?"
"Love is a foolish emotion, that gives nothing but pain."
"Not at all! Love is the most wonderful feeling in the world! To care for someone, and want them to care for you in return…there is no other feeling like it. Love doesn't hurt like that, Kurogane."
"You were wrong, hime." Kurogane murmured to himself. "Love hurts more than anything else in the world…and cuts deeper than any sword ever could."
Fai strode along the road, heading for the small forest that lay on the outskirts of the town, somehow knowing that this was where Ashura would be found. The irony of the situation didn't escape him, and he let out a small, empty chuckle.
>I spend years of my life miserable with him…and then I seal him away and run from him for months…only to realise later that I'm still in love with him, and just want to stay with him. How dumb can you get?> Fai wasn't sure if he was referring to his belated realisation, or the fact that he still wanted to be with Ashura.
Sighing, he looked up at the trees that loomed above him, and entered the forest, blue eyes darting about, watching for any sign of movement. Seeing none, he stopped still on the track and spread his arms, turning his face skywards and shouting;
"I'm here, Ashura-ou! I have returned!"
The moment that the words had left his mouth, a faint breeze ruffled Fai's hair, and he smiled, looking back down to see Ashura standing in front of him, a satisfied smirk on the other man's face.
"Well well, what do we have here? Have you finally realised the error of your ways, Fai?" Ashura sneered, viciously seizing Fai's chin and digging his nails into the soft flesh.
"Y…yes, Ashura-ou. I realise now how foolish I've been. Because…it's you that I love the most." Fai whispered, letting his gaze drop to the floor.
Ashura studied him for a moment, before laughing and releasing him. Moving behind Fai, he wrapped his arms around the blonde and nuzzled his ear, making Fai's breath catch as he felt his king's lips brush against the shell of his ear.
"No more fear, Fai. No more running. You belong to me, and only me. And when we get back to Seresu, I'm going to make sure that you never forget it. Understand?" Ashura murmured, his grip on Fai tightening ever so fractionally.
"Yes, Ashura-ou." Fai replied, his eyes slipping closed as he surrendered to the fate of his choice. Leaning back into Ashura's twisted embrace, he was unaware of the single tear that silently squeezed itself past his eyelid, ghosting its way down his cheek.
Unaware of the part of him that cried for the love he had lost.
"It already feels so strange without Fai-san…it seems so quiet now." Sakura murmured softly, staring up at the ceiling as she washed the breakfast dishes. Taking a bowl from her, Syaoran nodded as he dried, before placing the now dry piece of china in the cupboard, for use on another day.
"Hyuu…it's lonely without Fai." Mokona said sadly, ears drooping. Over by the table, Kurogane growled slightly, shooting a dark look at Mokona, as if daring it to say anything else.
"Peaceful, you mean. Maybe we can finally have some quiet time around here now." He snarled, getting up and storming into the bedroom that was now his alone, slamming the door behind him forcefully.
Behind him, Syaoran winced, and his hands stilled for a moment before continuing with their work. Sakura sighed and bowed her head, emerald eyes unusually sad.
"Kurogane-san is in a lot of pain right now. And because he doesn't want us to know that he's hurting, he hides away in his room. Now that Fai-san is gone, Kurogane-san's heart is gone too. Because he never took it back from Fai-san." She whispered quietly.
"But maybe…maybe there's hope, hime." Syaoran said seriously, causing her to look up at him in surprise.
"Syaoran-kun?"
"Just like the Space Time Witch said…there is no coincidence in the world. It was hitsuzen that brought us together on that day…and I'm sure that it was hitsuzen that helped Kurogane-san and Fai-san to be together."
"And you can't fight hitsuzen, right?" Sakura smiled.
"No, hime. Hitsuzen cannot be changed."
Muttering curses under his breath, Kurogane slammed an angry fist into his pillow, blood red eyes flashing dangerously. Repeating the action, he let out a furious snarl before collapsing, simply lying there on the woven sheets as two solitary tears made their way past his iron clad emotionless defences.
>Damn you, Fai. Damn you! Damn your smiles, and damn your tears! Damn the way you laugh like that, and damn the way you care so much for everyone around you…damn the way you look so beautiful when you're not hiding yourself away! Damn you!>
Opening his eyes, Kurogane stared heatedly across the room, before suddenly blinking and sitting upright as his gaze fell upon the small pile of belongings that lay in the corner of the room, untouched since they had first arrived in this world.
"Stupid idiot…" Kurogane murmured, moving across the room and kneeling next to the mound of belongings. "You left all your stuff behind."
Suddenly making up his mind, Kurogane swept the items into a backpack and stood up, slinging it onto his back. Striding back into the kitchen, he kicked the front door open, and turned to face his startled companions, a determined expression on his face.
"Where's the nearest dark, forbidding place in this town?" He demanded.
"Umm…probably the forest outside of town, Kurogane-san. Why?" Syaoran answered, looking confused.
"Because that's the most likely place to find that darn slimeball." Kurogane said definitely, grinning wolfishly.
And then he left, leaving Sakura and Syaoran speechless behind him.
"Now, Fai…shall we go home? As I recall, we have a lot of cleaning up to do in the palace…dead bodies make the palace look nice, but I'm afraid the smell far outweighs their aesthetic appeal." Ashura purred, slowly loosening his grip to allow Fai to step away.
Fai felt slightly sick at the thought of using dead bodies to decorate a palace; especially since those lifeless shells were the corpses of those he had once called friends. However, he refrained from saying so, and instead nodded slightly, turning to face Ashura once more.
"Yes, Ashura-ou. When we get back I will make sure to get the palace spotless again. I'm sure that I can get help from the nearby villages…unless things have changed, there are sure to be people desperate for jobs – they can become the new cleaning staff for the palace."
"But all the people of the nearby villages are dead, Fai. Remember? We killed them. They stormed the castle intent on taking my life, and we killed them all." Ashura murmured silkily. Fai shuddered and shut his eyes before letting his regretful expression melt into another fake smile, remembering that Ashura hated to see him looking upset. Even if those dark memories pained him, he didn't want to disappoint Ashura-ou.
"Then I will have to dispose of the bodies myself, Ashura-ou." Fai muttered. Ashura smiled charmingly, and began to gently finger one of Fai's blonde locks of hair.
"Thankyou, Fai. Perhaps you won't be as troublesome as I feared after all." He breathed.
"Well, I don't know about him, but in my opinion it's you who's the troublesome one. But then again, I'm not the one going to live with you, am I?"
Fai gasped at the gruff voice, whirling round to see Kurogane standing there, a wry expression on his face and a blue pack on his back.
"K…Kuro-wan!"
Ashura sighed as if in exasperation and moved to stand next to Fai, fingers flexing in a crushing movement absentmindedly.
"Ah, Kurogane…are you too stubborn to see that Fai has made his choice, and that it wasn't you?"
Kurogane bared his teeth in a parody of a smile, but refrained from making any further response, refusing to rise to the bait. Instead, he simply moved towards Fai and let the backpack slide to the ground, beckoning for Fai to come closer.
"You forgot your stuff, Fai. So I ended up being your donkey and carrying it for you…not much has changed, has it?" Kurogane snorted, lifting the bag and handing it to Fai. The blonde's hand closed reflexively over the handle, and he smiled slightly at the lost expression he saw on Fai's face.
"Cheer up, you damn mage. It's ok to smile, you know. Not if they're fake smiles, but when you're really, truly happy…then you should let the whole world know. At least, that's what a certain princess once told me." Pausing, Kurogane glanced down at the ground, allowing a small chuckle to escape him.
"Come to think of it, she told me a lot of stuff like that. She kept harping on about love too, but I still don't really agree with what she said."
"Kuro-muu…"
"It's alright, Fai. I didn't come here to make you feel guilty about your choice. If you love him, then I accept that. I can't say that I understand why, but if being with that cr…man…makes you happy, then I'm ok with that." Kurogane finished.
Fai gulped and looked down at the bag, wondering briefly just how much was in it. Just the things that he had owned? Or had Kurogane included everything that held a trace of him once being there? Was Kurogane trying to erase him from his life?
"Th…thankyou, Kuro-sama." Fai murmured, gazing uncertainly at Kurogane. The next thing he knew, he was being enveloped in a tight hug, and strong, warm arms surrounded him.
"Don't you dare forget about me, alright?" Kurogane whispered fiercely in Fai's ear. "If you forget about me, I swear that I'll cross dimensions and hunt you down, understand me!"
Fai laughed weakly, and pulled away, wiping his eyes.
"I understand, Kuro-kichi. I won't forget you. As long as you don't forget me."
"And as long as you remember that Fai is mine now." Ashura interrupted, glaring darkly at Kurogane.
The ninja's lip curled, but he nodded, beginning to walk away, despite how it was killing him to do so. For a moment, Fai just watched him go, feeling the sudden urge to break down and cry. But he fought the impulse, and instead concentrated on pulling up his mask again, afraid of making Kurogane feel even worse.
And then all hell broke loose.
One moment, Kurogane was striding down the track towards the forest edge. Then suddenly two globes of crackling energy shot past Fai and towards Kurogane, exploding around the ninja and sending clouds of dirt and dust billowing up into the air.
When the clouds cleared, Fai cried out as he saw Kurogane lying still on the floor, finding himself unable to tear his eyes away from the blood that was trickling down from a wound hidden by the Japanese man's helmet.
"Kuro-rin!" Fai called, panicking as he realised that the other man wasn't moving. Then Kurogane groaned quietly, head lolling to the side, and Fai breathed again. Head snapping round to face Ashura, he glared furiously at the Seresuan king, unable to believe what he had done.
"Ashura-ou! Why? Why did you do that!" He demanded. Ashura simply smirked and flung out an arm, shoving Fai hard so that the blonde fell to the ground. Moving before Fai could get to his feet, Ashura glided quickly to Kurogane side, stopping and delicately planting a foot upon the fallen swordsman's chest.
"It was very thoughtful of you to bring Fai's things for him like that, Kurogane, but I'm afraid that you won't be able to keep your promise and remember Fai. Seeing as how you'll be dead anyway."
From his position on the ground, Fai breathed in sharply, blue eyes widening in horror as he realised what Ashura was going to do.
"You see, I'm feeling quite drained from my last little trip through dimensions. The other man's life force was quite enough to recover my immediate strength, but I'm afraid that I still don't have enough power to skip worlds again. So I'll just have to draw on your spirit's strength. You don't mind, do you?" Ashura sneered, his hand beginning to glow as it moved closer to Kurogane's chest.
Fai shut his eyes as tightly as he could, unable to watch Ashura suck the life out of the man he had loved so much. Kurogane was going to die. Kurogane was going to die, and he couldn't do a thing about it.
"Ever since that demon attacked you, and you got injured, I realised that my emotions were screwed up around you. And when we thought that Seishirou had killed you…I was devastated, even though I didn't show it. It was then that I realised…I cared for you more than a friend."
"Kuro-chan wants to carry me? I'm touched!" Fai announced, beginning to squirm. Kurogane elbowed him.
"Either stop fidgeting, or I drop you."
"Waaa! Kuro-tan is meeean!"
"Thankyou. This day has just been…I can't describe it. Thankyou." He whispered. Kurogane smirked, and drew out the last items from the bag.
"We haven't got to the best part yet." He whispered.
"No. I promised myself that I'd protect you, and I can't do that if I'm not with you." Kurogane said, and with those words he pulled Fai closer to him, capturing the quivering lips in a kiss.
"…And you know what, Fai? I might say you're an idiot sometimes, but when it comes down to it, I'm just as much an idiot as you are, right? After all, I managed to fool myself into thinking that a puppet could love one other than his master."
"You're going to give up…on us?" He finished, before swooping down to capture Fai's lips with his own, in a kiss just as passionate as their very first one from so long ago.
"Cheer up, you damn mage. It's ok to smile, you know. Not if they're fake smiles, but when you're really, truly happy…then you should let the whole world know. At least, that's what a certain princess once told me."
"It's alright, Fai. I didn't come here to make you feel guilty about your choice. If you love him, then I accept that. I can't say that I understand why, but if being with that cr…man…makes you happy, then I'm ok with that."
"No…" Fai whispered, his fingers curling to grip helplessly at the ground in denial. >No…he'll die…Kurogane will die…I can't let…I can't let…>
"Noooo!"
"It was very convenient, you know, you turning up like that just now." Ashura smiled. "It saved me from having to go all the way back into the town to find another victim."
Kurogane glared up at him, spitting blood into the pale man's face.
"Damn you." He growled, struggling to move his arm so that he could grab his sword and put an end to Ashura once and for all.
"Now now, Kurogane. You want Fai to be happy, don't you? He wants to go home with me…and you can make that possible by sacrificing this little thing for him. I'm sure he'd appreciate it."
"You think I'm just going to lie here and let you kill me? After that feeble excuse? You've got another thing coming." Kurogane snarled, finally managing to grip Ginryuu. But as he stared up at Ashura looming over him, he knew that it was too late. >Damn it all…I didn't want it to end like this…I wanted to die back in my own world, with Tomoyo and Souma to watch over me…and Fai to be there with me until the very end. >
"I thank you in advance for your donation." Ashura laughed, before plunging his hand down to strike Kurogane's chest.
"Noooo!"
Kurogane gaped as a sudden shrill scream rang out through the forest, accompanied by a fierce gust of wind and a large blast of blue electricity that sent Ashura flying through the air to crash into an oak tree.
Turning his head to where the source of the wind seemed to be coming from, Kurogane gasped silently, unable to believe what he was seeing, sure that it must be some sort of dream.
"Fai…?"
Fai stood there, his hair blowing wildly in the wind that seemed to be emanating from him, white coat flying back to flap loosely behind him. Surrounded by a strange glowing light, bolts of blue electricity sparked around his fingers, dancing their way up his arms before snaking their way back into his hands.
His eyes, usually so clear and bright, had become dark and stormy, a vortex of dark blues and purples swirling round in them, until there seemed to be no end to his gaze. Seeing Fai in such a way, with such a stirring of power and solemnity around him…Kurogane couldn't believe that this was the same goofy blonde that had joked around so much during their short time together.
"I won't let you hurt him, Ashura-ou." Fai growled, his voice determined.
"You dare betray me again, Fai? Have you already forgotten exactly why you came to me less than an hour ago?" Ashura asked, his voice seething with barely restrained rage.
Fai stood his ground, barely flinching as Ashura rose to his feet. And when three bolts of energy suddenly appeared out of nowhere to come sailing towards him, Fai didn't move. Instead, a faintly shimmering shield rapidly formed in front of him, sending the attacks bouncing harmlessly away, to dissipate in the forest's undergrowth.
"I came because I thought that I had made the right choice. Because I thought that you were the one I loved the most. But I was wrong." Fai said in a choked voice, swirls of lighter blue making their way into the whirling vortex of his eyes and making it seem as if he was crying tears of pure light.
"I came because I didn't realise that the man I thought I loved had died a long time ago. And because I was too blinded by the past to see what I had now. Because that's where the Ashura I fell in love with is…in the past."
Ashura stiffened momentarily, before throwing his head back and laughing in a horrible parody of mirth. Then suddenly the laughter was cut off, and he was glaring at Fai, dark eyes glinting sharply even as he summoned more energy into his hands.
"You fool, Fai! I am not some thing lost to the past – I'm here!" He sneered. Fai just shook his head, more crackles of energy beginning to form around his hands in response to Ashura's magic.
"No, Ashura-ou. You are not the boy I fell in love with. The boy I fell in love with was good, and kind, and always willing to help his people. The boy that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was honest…trustworthy. And he let me call him 'Ashura' in private.
"Do you remember him, Ashura-ou? That young Seresuan prince called Ashura-ouji? He died the day that his father did, leaving me alone with a sadistic murderer who claimed to be my koi. The moment that you were crowned King, your whole personality changed. You let your councillors whisper poison words in your ear, and listened to their greedy ideas of power and riches. Slowly, you changed, until there was nothing left of the ideals you had held as prince – you became a tyrant. A monster.
"Yet you did just enough to hide it from me. Or maybe I was simply too dumb to realise what a fool I was being." Fai murmured, staring sadly at Ashura. From his position on the ground, Kurogane watched, unsure of what to do in this situation…and in awe of the power of the two men.
He could almost feel it, those two charged wills, and the intense power that rippled underneath their skin, just waiting for release. But whilst Ashura's magic seemed to reek of death and destruction, Fai's was somehow more poignant, and Kurogane sensed the waves of mixed sadness and determination rolling off the blonde. It was a moment that seemed more fit for storybooks than real life. And yet…it was all happening now, outside the realm of fantasy. And Kurogane was blown away by it all, stunned into a momentary feeling of paralysis.
"You left me alone in the palace, and just went off with your friends! You cared just enough to sometimes send a messenger back to tell me you were staying out all night! You cared just enough to try and hide it when you slept with other people! But that was all…in the end, the only person I could rely on was one who I'd made myself…Chii. And if you'd been there for me when I needed you, she wouldn't have even existed."
"Is it my fault that you felt awkward around some of the other nobles? You could have just spent time with them, instead of making that idiotic creature!" Ashura snarled, glaring daggers at his rebellious wizard.
"But then I might never have realised how much we lacked in our relationship. Chii's devotion showed that to me…even though I tried to ignore it, and pretended that everything was alright. Remember that final day, Ashura-ou? When the villages banded together to storm the castle? They asked me to help bring you down. And I was still too blinded to see that they were right, and instead fought alongside you. I helped you repel them…but when I looked around later, I saw that you had been killing them. You had shown no mercy.
"That was when I snapped. I sealed you away, and left that place. But the question is this, Ashura-ou…if you showed no mercy to those poor villagers…why should I show you any mercy now?"
Oh oh! What's going to happen next? Well...you'll just have to wait and see! But be warned, the next chapter will my Sad Ending! So bring a few boxes of Kleenex! By the way, I had this chapter typed up weeks ago, but my Internet connection went down, so ...sorry!
Hayama 4 - Glad you liked the phrase, and I put it in again in this chapter just for you!
Missen - Well...I updated. What do you think?
artemis347 - Don't worry, I plan to keep going! And yeah, Fai-san's so huggable!
Meowzy-chan - I'm glad you thought my chapter was so good...I tried to put emotion in this one too, but I'm not sure that I pulled it off!
Ranma Higurashi - Updated...but not very SOON! Sorry!
Mizu-Tenshi - Yup, 3 alternate endings! Couldn't choose between them, so...and yup, I was willing them back together too. Unfortunately, my fingers don't listen to me, and type whatever they want to.
hentai-monkey - Amazing andsad and beautiful story? Wow...you honour me. And I know it's a bit depressing...but then again, it's a Fai one, right? Ha ha! I'm sad that the story's ending too...I think it's been one of my favourites so far!
Bakuragirl - Don't worry, your English seemed fine! And I'm glad that you liked my fic so much!
KinOfDragons- Worth the wait? Well, I hope this one was too...that was a loooong wait!
Marron-chan1 - Did I scare you? Huh? Huh? Did you think for a moment that I'd keep them apart? (Well maybe I will - depends on the outcome of the fight!)
alpha2nd - Thanks! I do try and keep them in-character, but sometimes it's hard to...especially Kurogane! So I think I screwed up his character a bit in this chapter! Sorry!
ramingo - Hmm...well...if you're a hopeless romantic, I'm sure that you'll like the Happy Ending! And you may acrually kinda like the Sad But Happy one too...