I do not own the rights to any of the characters that appear in my little story. Now I do not claim I can tell a story nearly as well as J.K. Rowling (if I could I'd be a millionaire). The best I can do is all I can offer. I hope that you will be entertained.

Holly Potter

And The

Army of Darkness

Story

Kim West

Chapter 8: Never Neverland.

The story of Peter Pan is an old fairy tale, but it is not quite clear who really wrote the story. Oh, Sir James Matthew Barrie was definitely the creator, of that there can be no doubt. The dispute centers on whether Mr. Barrie was a Muggle or whether he was secretly a wizard. The debate has been ongoing for ages, but whatever you believe, both magical folk and Muggles alike have enjoyed the magical story about "the boy who never grew up" for countless generations.

So popular is "Peter Pan" that it is one of the most requested fantasies that Chalker's Paradise provides. Never Neverland has been brought to life in a way that has never before been achieved. Indians, mermaids, and pirates! Yes, these are easy enough to conjure up, but creating pixie dust that gives one the power of flight? Well, that never really existed in the magical world before, especially pixie dust that works when you think of a happy thought. Also, transfiguring a witch or wizard into a pixie has been an ongoing research and development problem. Some of the best potion makers in the entire world have been working on providing the perfect pixie that fits the description of "Tinker Bell." You see, most pixies in reality are nothing more than pests, while they do possess magical powers; they usually end up causing a terrible mess where ever they go. Also their intelligence is considered to be far below the standards of normal witches and wizards, so a formula had to be developed to create a fake pixie; a pixie with intelligence, and one that could actually talk (well at least to Peter Pan anyway). Fortunately both pixie transfiguration and pixie dust have been perfected.

So much for explanations, now on with the adventure, over by a gnarled old tree stood a figure. She wore clothing that looked to be woven out of bright green leaves, and they shimmered whenever she moved. She wore a tunic that came down past her hips, and skin tight pants that stopped just above her ankles, and slippers that hardly touched the earthly floor. With hands on her hips and a confident smile, Holly Potter looked every bit the part of the legend that was Peter Pan (with the exception of her bosom and shapely legs of course). Holly insisted that her costume not hide the fact that she was a girl, and this inspired most of the other girls to form "The Lost Girls."

Holly surveyed the forest knowing adventure was just around the corner or rather tree if you want to be more precise. Just within her line of sight she could make out a bright light zipping to and fro avoiding tree trunks with ease. Holly smiled knowing this could be none other than Hermione playing the tiny pixie Tinker Bell. She was being chased by Nora, who looked like she was part ginger cat. On closer inspection you could see her orange and red striped fur cover her every portion of her body except for her chest which was covered in white fur. Oh and I might add she had a tail that was long and bushy which swished back and forth while her claws dug into the tree trunks that her prey flew close to. Tinker Bell (I'll refer to Hermione now as her) flew all around Peter Pan's head.

"Peter come quick!"

"What is it Tinker Bell?"

Before Tinker Bell could reply Nora Leapt down from a tree branch to land in front of Peter's feet.

"What the tasty looking morsel is trying to say is that Wendy has been captured by Captain Hook."

Tinker Bell flew toward the ginger cat girl. "I am not a tasty morsel!"

Nora took a swipe at the pixie with her catlike claws, but fortunately she flew just out of range. The catlike girl's eyes narrowed while she unconsciously licked her right fore arm.

"Enough of this cat and mouse game! We must gather 'The Lost Girls' at once, and rescue Wendy from the clutches of that vile pirate!" Peter shouted, then flew into the air, and began crowing like a rooster.

"I'm not a mouse either." Tinker Bell huffed.

Nora smiled a toothy grin. "Yeah, mice are easier to catch."

Soon there was a noise coming from some nearby bushes, and then out popped two fox girls racing toward the beckoning Peter. Each had fur covering their entire bodies, they had paw like hands, and long furry tails which swished about playfully. Even though they could stand and walk on two feet, the two preferred to run four legged through the woods. Yes, I know, you wish to know who these foxy girls are. Well, they happened to be Ginny Weasley and Jilly Winters who still looked like twins by the way.

"Hey, kitty cat!" yelled Ginny.

Nora Adrienne-Deret scrambled up a tree to avoid being mauled by the two foxes.

"She's pretty fast." Jilly commented while trying to decide if it was worth climbing the tree in order to continue the chase.

"You two stay away from me!"

Tinker Bell flew around and giggled loudly. "Not so funny when you're the one being chased is it?"

The cat girl simply hissed at the flying pixie. This might have turned out ugly, but just then, two centaurs galloped into the clearing. These two were of course Lilybee and Hanna who galloped into view. Lilybee made a cute white furry pony, and Hanna had golden brown fur to match her hair. They chased one another around the old tree while Connie was riding on Lilybee's back. She of course was part raccoon, and she pretty much looked the part except for her curly blonde hair. Oh, almost forgot to mention that Connie's camera was also zooming about taking many flash pictures.

Tinker Bell made her way to where she thought Peter Pan was. "Honestly Holly, its bad enough we have…"

Peter Pan held up her hand. "Please, the name is Peter Pan."

"Yes, be that as it may, but must we have that infernal camera in this upcoming adventure?"

"Hey! Stop insulting my baby!" Connie shouted.

Peter Pan looked at Connie who was cradling her camera in her furry arms, and then back at the fuming pixie who was staring her face to face. "This is only pretend; we are not really fighting the forces of evil here."

"But there was no camera in the story of 'Peter Pan', nor were there centaurs. You are ruining a literary masterpiece." Tinker Bell protested.

"We are trying to have fun, so the camera and the centaurs stay. Is that understood Tinker Bell?"

"Completely."

Peter Pan smiled. "Good, then gather around my Lost Girls for I have a plan to rescue Wendy!"

Meanwhile, The Jolly Roger sailed near the mouth of Mermaid's Lagoon. This was a pirate ship if there ever was one. Her Captain was none other than Becky Hook who was almost as fierce as she was lovely to look upon. She grappled with the ship's wheel with her one good hand while using her hook to cover her face in order to scan the horizon.

"A vast ye maties! Heave ho, and shiver me timbers!" Captain Hook said with excitement.

Fred and George Weasley stopped their sword play and turned to their sister with quizzical looks on their faces. Seamus and Bek D. Corbin were trying their best not to laugh because they knew just what a temper Becky had if she thought she wasn't being taken seriously.

"Speak English Becky!" Fred yelled out.

"Yeah, and who would want to shiver your timbers?" George added.

Well that did it, Seamus and Bek both fell to the ship's wooden deck and burst out laughing.

Becky's face turned red. "MR. SMEE!"

In a few moments Mr. Smee, who was Neville Longbottom, ambled up to Captain Hook. Once he was in view, Becky grabbed him.

"Mr. Smee!"

"Uhh…ye…yes Captain?" Mr. Smee replied nervously.

"Shiver me timbers if you please!" Captain Hook said and then began to passionately kiss her first mate. Seamus and Bek quickly stopped laughing to watch the two go at each other. Fred and George looked on nervously, and they began to look away.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Fred called out to Wendy who was about to escape from the ship. Apparently she had managed to untie her bonds from the main mast. I should point out, for Draco Malfoy, this was not that hard of a thing to do, but for Luna Lovegood, it was quite astonishing to say the least.

Fred and George quickly recaptured Wendy and turned to face their Captain.

Hook reluctantly let go of Mr. Smee. "After this is over you are going to give your Captain some sugar baby."

Mr. Smee had a dreamy look on his face and simply nodded.

"Well, what are you seadogs doing? Don't just stand there! You! Seamus! Go set up the wooden plank so our lovely here can take a walk and meet the sharks! AAARRRRRHHH!"

"Sharks?" Wendy gulped.

"Yeah, this is the part of the story where you have to walk the plank." George replied.

"Haven't you ever read 'Peter Pan' Luna? Fred asked.

"Yes, well, I hadn't realized there would be real sharks involved in this adventure." Wendy answered as she slipped out of the boy's combined grip, and then continued her escape.

"After her! She's heading for the back end of the boat!" Bek D. Corbin yelled.

"Ship! It's called a ship! And she's headed for the stern!" Captain Hook corrected.

"Isn't that what I just said?" Bek asked scratching his head.

"Later Corbin!" George said rushing past Bek on the left.

"We'll explain later." Fred said rushing Bek on the right.

The two boys quickly cornered Wendy who was balling her fists, and looked strangely dangerous to the boys.

"Come on Luna, there's no sharks!" Fred reasoned.

"How do I know that is the truth? You two Mu…uhh…might…uhh…be tricking me." Wendy looked sort of strange for a moment. 'I almost called these morons Mudbloods! Father would kill me if I messed up now…must keep this up until Holly gets her little present.'

"They're right you know!"

"Who said that?" George asked.

Wendy turned and looked down toward the water; there she could make out three mermaids and a strange red crab that was sitting on the shoulder of one of the mermaids.

"Hello there! The name's Dana Castle, and this is Yukio and Daphne." The blonde mermaid said smiling.

"Please, not to forget, my cute little crab Esera!" The brunette added while cuddling her crab. "Isn't that right my pretty little girl?"

The little red crab looked rather annoyed. "I think I want to go back under de water!"

"Oh, don't go on about that again. I swear if you start singing the praises about ocean life I will simply scream!" Daphne Teal exclaimed, she had thought it would be fun to be a mermaid, but she soon discovered that she couldn't swim really well. In fact she was having troubles just staying a float at the moment.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WHY ISN'T WENDY WALKING THE PLANK TO MEET HER DOOM?" Captain Hook bellowed.

"Well, you see sir, the merm…"

"SIR! I AM A MADEM, NOT A SIR! WHY I OUGHT TO KEELHAUL YOU GEORGE!"

"Umm, I'm Fred, and he's…"

"I'll keelhaul both of you if I don't see her swimming with the sharks, aaarrhhh!"

"But there aren't any sharks captain."

"What? No sharks?" Captain Hooked asked.

"Just some mermaids and a talking crab."

The captain walked over to the side of her ship and looked down to confirm this; to her chagrin she saw three mermaids waving and smiling while one of them was nuzzling a grumpy red crab. 'Lousy theme park! What's the fun of playing pirate if there aren't any sharks. Hmmm…maybe I can keelhaul Wendy. Perhaps then I'll find out just what keelhauling is, and why pirates like to threaten people with it all of the time.' Captain Hook thought to herself, and then she began to grin, which made all those around her a bit nervous.

"Begging your pardon captain."

Captain Hook focused her attention on Bek. "Come to bring me more good news?"

"Peter Pan is almost here." Bek replied casually.

"YES! Maybe now I can have some fun playing with this!" Captain Hook shouted as she brought out her sword and swung it about rather dangerously."

"What about Wendy?" Fred and George asked.

"Pan is here, nothing else matters! AAARRRRHHH!"

High above the ship flew Peter Pan; she was swiftly dancing amongst the clouds while her Lost Girls surrounded the vessel from below. Jilly and Ginny pounced onboard and ran on all fours to where Fred and George stood. The two brothers brought out their swords to do battle with the fox girls, but that was easier said than done. They rushed about dodging the swords with ease while occasionally nipping and biting the two pirate pranksters.

While this was happening Lilybee and Hanna thundered onto the wooden deck and proceeded to search for Wendy. They were followed by Nora, Connie, and Tinker Bell.

"What a cute looking ginger cat. I must make you my pet when this is all over." Bek D. Corbin said grinning.

The cat girl grinned back. "What makes you think you'll be able to tame me then?"

And the two squared off on one another, Bek with her sword and Nora Adrienne with her sharp claws. It might have been a battle for the ages except that Connie's camera was zooming all about taking a multitude of pictures and blinding everybody on board with its flashes. Even Tinker Bell had to find a safe place to land because she was so blinded by the light.

"Connie! Shut that bloody thing off before I keelhaul it!" Captain Hook threatened.

The camera shuddered a moment, and then it actually stopped taking pictures. It flew into the protective arms of its mistress. Connie gave everyone a defiant look and then went back to cuddling her baby.

"Keelhauling cameras now Captain Codfish? I wonder if you even know what the word means." Peter Pan taunted as she descended down to meet her arch nemesis.

"I do so know what keelhauling means…its when…that is to say…" Captain Hook stammered.

"Ha! You don't know do you?" Peter accused.

"If you spent more time studying you would know precisely what the word means." Tinker Bell added smugly.

"Awwh, come on Hermione…"

"Please, the name is Tinker Bell."

Rather than continue to argue with the pixie Captain Hook turned her attention to Peter instead. "Prepare yourself for battle!"

Hook's sword sliced the air quite nicely, but it did not strike its target. Peter Pan simply floated out of range of the blade, and then swooped up and over the pirate. Hook quickly turned and tried to strike again, while she missed the elusive Pan, she did manage to sink her blade into the mizen-mast of the ship. Peter flew down next to Hook while she tried in vain to free her trapped sword.

"You want to take a break then or shall I stab your posterior with my blade?" Peter said with a smirk.

Hook gave one more mighty pull on her sword, and it was released from its wooden prison. The effort of pulling the sword however was so great that it caused Hook to stumble backwards and fall on her rear. "ARRRHHH!" Hook swung her sword once more while sitting on the deck of her ship, but once again Peter Pan floated out of range.

"Stop that blasted flying around! It's not fair I tell you! Why things would be different if it were an even playing field."

Peter Pan smiled. "You wish for an even playing field Captain Codfish?"

Hook's face became red. "Yeah, and stop calling me a codfish while you're at it!"

Peter flew up into the air, and then bowed to Hook. "I will gladly acquiesce to your demands."

Tinker Bell flew up to Peter. "I am impressed; clearly you have been studying while others have been loafing around all summer."

"Hey! More fighting and less talking!"

Peter ignored Hook and turned her attention to Tinker Bell. "Well Tink, you heard the captain, think you're up to a bit of dusting?"

"Positively!"

"Then commence with operation pirate dunk!"

Hook's eyes widened. "Wait! Operation what?"

Peter laughed. "You'll see my fine captain."

And so Tinker Bell flew around the wooden haul of The Jolly Roger, faster and faster she sped while depositing her pixie dust. After a few moments the ship began to lift up and out of the water.

"Lost Girls! Take flight and follow me!" Peter called out as she flew to the top of the masts of the ship. Jilly, Ginny, Connie, Lillybee, and Nora quickly joined Peter, but Hanna was having a bit of trouble trying to get Wendy to cooperate.

"I am not going to climb onto your back! And I'm not going to break my neck for this stupid adventure!" Wendy yelled while stamping her foot.

"Very well, take the plunge along with the pirates for all I care then." Hanna replied, and then jumped into the air to join up with the rest of The Lost Girls. 'I've never seen Luna act like such a royal pain before' Hanna thought to herself.

The ship continued to rise into the air, five feet, ten feet, and then twenty feet. At this point Peter signaled to begin the next phase of her plan. Each of the girls tugged and pulled on the masts of the ship, and it began to tip on it's side. The pirates on the ship began to grab onto anything in order to prevent themselves from falling into the water.

"This isn't fair! This doesn't happen in the book!" Hook turned to her twin brothers. "It doesn't right?"

"Are you familiar with the term checkmate dear sister?" Fred asked.

"Checkmate?"

"In other words were all washed up as pirates." George replied, and then the twins let go of the ship and dove into the water. When they surfaced they began socializing with the three mermaids, or should I say flirting with them.

"Well fine! Abandon your captain in her hour of need!"

"Don't mind if I do!" Bek D. Corbin yelled while doing a doing a somersault into the water. She was quickly followed by Seamus who managed a Belly Flop, and then there was Wendy who promptly fell into the water screaming bloody murder as she did so.

"Mr. Smee!"

"Ahhhh!"

Mr. Smee made the mistake of trying to salute his captain while simultaneously trying to hang onto some rope. The result was that he lost his grip, and was falling head first toward the railing of the ship. Becky Weasley (no longer playing Captain Hook) swung into action immediately and grabbed onto Neville. She only had one hand at this point so she let go of the rope while crashing into Neville. The deflection was just enough that they both avoided the rail and fell into the water safely. When the two surfaced they were greeted to applause all around. Soon everybody dove into the water to play many games, and so ends this chapter.