First off, I didn't give props to Laurie's help SO THANK YOU MY LIL SISTA..MAX BOSCORELLI..hahah ;)
Next one goes off to Boscogirl, for hearing my yells and frantic cries about this story, so thank you dear you're the best and I can't do this without you!
Now, usual stuff! I have a new brand spanking chapter, the usual stuff, mmm I don't own the song in here. Its by Jars of Clay "He" is the title so I DON'T OWN IT!!!! Funny thing was, it wasn't going to be as long as it turned I was stuck and was just going to post what I had, and sure enough EmBoz (my muse's name) kicked in and sure enough got more out! So here you go, I shall stop talking and
Walla!
Chapter 12 – For So Long
Faith looked down at the piece of paper that she had written the address on, the paper that looked like it been crumbled up and then opened, and then crumbled again. Didn't help that Faith kept taking it and scrunching it in her hand, for her nerves were wracking her entire body.
To be in that kind of neighborhood only made it worse to. The thugs standing on the street making you wonder if you should even be there and even if you have a gun, don't think there not going to be carrying one to.
So minding her own business she walked into the apartment complex then walked up the stairs, keeping her hands deep into her pockets so she wouldn't be tempted to grab the railing. God only knows what was on that railing, who had touched it, and what was the last thing they had touched.
Digging the piece of paper again out of her pocket she unscrambled it from its previous scrunched up position trying to make out the writing that had been folded to many times she finally found the door and then the paper disappeared again into her pocket for the zillionth time.
Taking a deep breath she then knocked on the door. She flinched because the door felt like it would crack under her own weight, the very foundation didn't feel sturdy, but not much she could do about it. Knocking again on the door, but no noise gave to any indication anybody was there, so she gave up and quickly made it outside.
What she didn't expect was the man to be standing right there in front of her, and by the look of surprise on his face he didn't envision her standing there not but four feet in front of him. Desperately words came to her mind but she immediately shot them down, because they were obnoxious ones and they made no sense or they were just plain stupid and a type of male he was, he'd take a offence. But it didn't matter what she said, because he rolled his eyes and abruptly turned around and began walking away.
"Bosco."
He continued walking trying not to listen to Faith but she was catching up quickly and he really didn't want to be bothered, not tonight. "Can't you catch a hint, when somebody doesn't wasn't you around?"
"Can't you catch a hint, when somebody really wants to talk to you?" Throwing it back at him as she caught up with him and was now walking by his side, even though he widen his steps trying to make her walk harder and faster to keep up with him.
"Oh I see, now your not some annoying pig, you're an annoying pig who is a stalker!" Sarcastically saying, pushing a man that was in his way and dared to stop in front of him. The man yelled something but Bosco ignored, just tried to keep on walking till the point Faith would get sick of it and give up. If he had to he'd walk around all night.
"I have something to tell you, that might be important to you."
"Like you can tell me anything that be important to me, how about telling me I'm a low life oh wait you all ready called me that at your apartment."
Faith wanted to yell out, 'I did not,' but she shut that voice up again, the child voice that wanted to justify her actions, the part of her wanted to sink to his levels and play his games but she didn't.
"Its about your father." She blurted out; she had stopped walking going on a bet that would make him halt in his tracks. It defiantly worked for he spun around so quickly and was stepping fast up to her she had to move back a few inches.
"What could you possibly tell me about my father?"
This isn't where Faith wanted to tell the man about his dear old "Dad." But how do you sit somebody down for coffee and go 'by the way, your father, the one that beat the shit out of you he's now in prison for killing your mother, and how was your day?' That didn't seem like it would go over well but it was now or never and never didn't sound like such a good plain, he would find out sooner or later.
"He's in prison."
"What did he do this time?"
Taking a deep breath, Faith then went for the plunge. "He was charged for the murder of your mother, Angela Rose Boscorelli."
'Murder? That wasn't possible!' Bosco looked around, trying to understand this. 'Murder,…murder? How could that be? She had died driving drunk, because she hated him and Mikey, hated them both didn't want to be their mother anymore.' But images assaulted Bosco, the ones that he had some how locked away the ones that his mother loved them. The caring smile, the kiss on the head, the warm hugs that she would bestowed on them after they'd been out in a cold night playing outside.
She never had any intention on leaving them, she probably wanted to take them with her, not leave them with the monster that they only knew as dad. The one that had lied to him and Mikey, the one they wanted so desperately to love but dared not for being scared they would receive a broken nose. This just wasn't happening to him, after all he'd been through, the shit he had to put up from day in and day out and he was told this. His mother, the one that could have protected them had been taken away from him by the same man that had been nothing but abusive, that caused him not want to sleep without a light, the one that haunts his dreams every night.
Hot acid assaulted his stomach then his throat and he realized suddenly that feeling that was the sensation of about to be violently sick. He didn't even get the words out of his mouth he turned and puked out the small remands of the snacks he been feasting on after he had the joint. His entire body was shaking, as it tried to continue to heave and try to bring stuff that wasn't coming up that was simply not there. When he had stopped convulsing and the spasms in his stomach stopped, he spit out some saliva that had worked its way into his mouth.
Grabbing the railing that he knew would be there he then allowed his body to shift and turn so he could then sit down onto the stoop as he tried to collect himself. Faith didn't say a word, she just waited for the right moment, and she finally came and sat down by him. She found something to stare at until he was ready to talk. Knowing with him that could take eternity.
(Past)
Bosco was slowly but surely pulled out of his deep sleep. He blinked his eyes trying to adjust his vision to the all ready darkened room, but that was hard when everything was hard to see but a few outlines from the moonshine into the room.
He rolled over, trying to untangle his body that had become trapped within tossing and turning when sleeping. He about screamed out in surprise because Mikey was standing there looking at him. It was obvious that is what had awoken him, somebody been standing by his bed staring at him.
Mikey had tears in his eyes and his lip was quivering, so it was only a matter of more sniffles that Mikey was about to bust out into tears. It was hard to figure out what could cause his little brother to wake up in the middle of the night and wanting comfort from his older sibling. Nightmare, did he have one? But Bosco's question was quickly answered, shouting, he had just heard shouting.
Sitting up in the bed he got up and patted his brother's shoulder and whispered for him to go back to bed. Quietly he walked towards the door and opened it and then when he didn't hear anything he continued to walk towards the voices he had heard and the loud movements coming from the kitchen
"No I'm leaving, I'm not taking this shit I have to put up with!"
His mother's voice boomed into his ears, making it plain and clear what she had meant. She didn't love him or Mikey anymore, she was sick of them and didn't want anything do with them, she didn't love them. So Bosco quickly turned his back on his mother, who had no idea who had over heard and went back into his room.
Shutting the door he fell down into his bed and brought his covers up and then hearing the yelling even through the closed door he put the pillow over his head and hot tears flowed heavily into his bedding. He hated her! If only Bosco knew that would be the last time he'd see his mother alive.
Bosco didn't know that's not what his mother was talking about, the fight had been about her leaving and she couldn't take Anthony's abusive behavior towards her, and was scared her boys would be next. She was screaming about taking away them and never allowing him to ever see them again, and that's when he turned violent. He brought back his fist and struck her hard across the cheekbone, and as she fell backwards she cracked her head against the corner of the counter and was unconscious before she even hit the ground.
That is when he loaded her body into the trunk and took off into the night with her two boys sleeping in the other room. Not knowing what was about to transpire to their mother and how it would affect and alter their lives forever, and for the worst.
Maybe if Angela Rose Boscorelli knew what was going to happen to her boys, how one would end up being killed and the other messed up to the point you wouldn't think he was worth saving, maybe she would have fought a little harder. Because that very next day Anthony told about their mother being "drunk" and didn't love them, didn't want to be near them.
Anthony didn't know that Bosco had over heard his mother, and he probably wouldn't have cared, because if either one of them didn't believe him about their mother, he would beat it into them anyways. He did put some thought into it, he found a person who had been killed and was being buried a few days later, even found the location Old St. Raymond's cemetery. He told them where and the beautiful thing was, they believed him. They went dressed up and everything, thinking it was their mother's funeral; he went to the bar to get drunk.
That night Mikey actually made the mistake of saying something about him not showing up, about hating their mother and hating them. That's when it began, the hitting of his kids. Knocking them into the next week, and for Anthony it was almost a game; seeing how much damage he could do without being caught, or sending them to the hospital.
Bosco never knew if his mother had survived that night, that she had taken the boys and left, that his life would have been completely different. But Bosco went to bed thinking his mother hated him, and up until Faith told him his mother been murdered he always thought she left them by choose to be abused by their alcoholic father.
Don't try to reach me, I'm already dead
The pain when it grips me, for things that I've done
Well I try to make you proud, but for crying out loud
Just give me a chance to hide away
Exhaustion takes over, will this someday be over?
Chorus:
Fearful tears are running down
The pain you've laid don't speak a sound
Don't take my heart away from me
And they think I fell down
Daddy, don't you love me?
Then why do you hit me?
And Momma don't you love me
Then why do you hurt me?
Well I try to make you proud, but for crying out loud
Just give me a chance to hide away
Exhaustion takes over, will this someday be over?
Chorus
A teardrop falls from up in the heavens
Drowning the sorrow of angels on high
For the least of the helpless, the hopeless, the loveless
(Present)
Bosco's eyes were glazed over as memories played over and over again in his head, as he tried to battle it out with his mind and heart. His mind telling him, that as a child how was he suppose to know, that he heard his mother say those things and it was only natural to assume, but his heart told him how wrong he was, that he shouldn't have doubted his mother like that.
"I hated my mother." He finally spoke, not even looking at Faith, scared if he did he'd see a look of complete and utter disgust on her face, and that was something he couldn't bare at the moment. She made no attempt to respond to his comment, so he continued on.
"I thought she left us, to be beaten on purpose, to punish us. I thought it was her fault the reason I ended up like this," she watched him fight the heartache in his body, to realize how wrong he'd been for so many years, "and here she was murdered and I hated her for it."
Faith's mind screamed for her to say something, but what do you say? How do you tell them, that the past is the past and more then likely to just get over it. You can't, there is no way to say it, and there was no way she could possibly relate to him and tell him that she did.
"Come on." Faith got up off the stoop and then put her hand out for Bosco to grab and pull himself up. But he just looked at her hand like it was diseased or something.
"What?"
"Trust me, for once."
Something had changed in his eyes, she couldn't really place it, but there was a touch of difference. As though he was lost, a scared little boy who was caught and had no place to run and hide. His innocence was showing, the tough act he put up, the wall that was always there, had completely crushed into nothing, it was just dust now, and he was crying out through his eyes.
Traveling down her face to her hand that was still extended, waiting for him to grab a hold of, he then breathed in and grabbed and pulled himself up. No words were spoken until they had arrived at their destination, then Bosco piped up.
"Your kidding me?"
"Would we be here if I was?"
Bosco looked up and shook his head forcefully. "There is no way your going to get me to go in there."
The church stood out with its gray stone and stained glasses as it called in lost souls from the streets of New York City. The crosses on top of the green marble that could scratch the sky if needed to, and if the church would be abounded it defiantly be eerie enough with the statues that looked into your very spirit damning you for your missed deeds.
He shook his head again as though the part that was telling him, it be good to tell somebody that had a religious view on it only the other half was going 'it's a waist of time and nothing but bible thumpers, trying to convert you' and that one was winning as he began to walk away.
"Listen to me, don't." He waved her off and all the emotion of wanting to help this man came boiling over for Faith and she finally clinched her fists and screamed at the top of her lungs.
"WILL YOU STOP!"
It worked, he stopped and as she watched him for only a second she then walked around him and looked him right in the face as she spoke to him.
"Look, I'm not even that religious, but sometimes we have to look at other things to help us through. I can't even imagine what your going through, but maybe by telling somebody in there," pointing to the church, "you will ease your suffering and start to heal your soul that is so badly damaged."
"I'm not damaged," Bosco muttered as he now could no longer look her in the eyes, they had traveled to his feet and then before he knew it he was looking up at the building, that he never thought he see himself going to. "But, if it gets you off my case, then whatever."
Faith couldn't help but the soft smile that came to her lips as she had convinced one of the most stubborn people she had ever meet in her entire life. "I'll be waiting."
He trudged up the stairs and then opened the door. First thing he found was his neck bent back as he looked straight up at the high walls, as he noticed the artwork. Even how the lights were aligned just right so they lit up the place but not to the point you couldn't see the many things that brought the church alive.
Taking baby steps as he continued to glance around a man walked up softly, you could almost say he glided in how he treaded up to Bosco.
"Can I help you son?" The preacher had heard the doors to his chapel and found a man staring up at the ceilings, one glance he would of thought some person who just wandered off the streets. But something told him this was a special case, and to be patient with this one, which of course he always listened to that instinct.
Bosco's eyebrows frowned in annoyance as he heard the man call him a son, as though he even knew him.
"I'm not your son."
"When you're in God's home, everybody is a son or a daughter."
"Maybe I don't believe in God." Bosco said but only got a small smile to come to the preacher's features.
"Then why would you be here, if you don't believe in God?"
"Because my friend made me come…" Bosco let his words trail off. He had just admitted to some complete stranger that Faith, the person he always pushed away, was a friend. It was just a mistake, he thought, he didn't mean it.
"They forced you in here? You have two feet you could have walked the other way." The preacher was a different type of man. He believed in giving everybody a fair chance, and he welcomed them with open arms, and when he get people like Bosco, he had to use some what of a tougher love on them, but they eventually came around.
Bosco then arched an eyebrow his words sunk into and he shifted some of his weight onto one leg as he let the other rest as he questioned this preacher.
"Aren't you suppose to trying to convert me to God or something, not try to kick me out?"
"Tell me this, how many church services you been to and how many preachers have you talked to?"
The preacher now watched as Bosco played with the many thoughts pulling him in so many different directions, and before one of them won over the other he spoke.
"You're here, that's taking a step…and even though you don't want to talk to me, God will be listening to you. He's always willing to take a chance on those who have shut him out."
If he was needed, he was sure the man would come find him. He had done his part, he had seen the war that was fighting inside the man, and the side that wanted him to leave was told, if you wanted to, you would have.
It taken Bosco a few minutes to decide that he should just sit in one of the benches, it wasn't going to harm him and he finally did and looked up again, the cross that beamed in front, proudly stating for what it stood for.
He played with his fingernails, it was like he was in detention hall and he knew he had done something bad, but didn't want to admit it. He finally breathed in deeply to try and relax his whole body, as he closed his eyes and swallowed hard he finally began to speak. Even though nobody was listening to his conversation, and he felt utterly stupid for talking to not a single soul, it felt somewhat comforting.
"Hey…ummm not sure if your listening to this….but….shit…," Bosco winced "sorry, I'm sure you don't like that…well..were do I begin?"
Faith had paced back and forth, she promised she would wait and that's what she was doing. But a part of her was hoping that he didn't sneak out the back or something crazy like that, just to leave her standing out in the cold. Her curiosity had taken the best of her and she had lightly sneaked up the steps, and then peeked her head in making sure not to make any noise. She saw Bosco, sitting there, mumbling to low under his breath to be heard, she quickly left so not to be detected or to invade his privacy.
Few minutes he walked out and she didn't say a word, figuring maybe he should be the first to talk and as he walked down the steps he just looked at her then continued walking. Her eyebrows went down in confusion, that's not the kind of reaction she was looking for. So she caught up with him, and when she did and was shoulder to shoulder she looked at his face, and saw the softest smile come to his lips, and that was more then words for her. She nodded her head and they continued to walk into the night.
TBC…….
Responses to the ReviewsThumper – Evil Child..yes, I am Stewie from Family Guy so BEWARE, I shall murder you in your sleep, yes I shall. Hehehe I'm glad I could update last chapter so fast, this one was a bit slower, and I am sorry I am ashamed. Yeah it was about time dad got what was coming towards him, bastard! Anyways thanks gal!
Boscogirl – SPEEDY GONZALES that's me in everything…well not in everything (arch eyebrow) hahaha j/k me in character, thanks but naaa not me! LOL I think they completely come out of character but that was nice of you to say! Thank you, glad you saw that, ;) if somebody did I knew you would..even though it's a very weird song! ;) Whatever I can do to get attention on your story, you deserve it! (Hugs Back)
Firefly120 – Sorry hahah, that Fred wasn't, but he's a good guy in this story lol. But that's a good idea though heheheh, and the vigra credit goes to Laurie Lasagna, she gave me it when I was working on that part! Yeah I figured Faith get to do something, hehehe. So glad you liked and hope your still enjoying!
Yammy – Glad you found them! I was hiding and you found my hobbit hole! Dammit, haha j/k. Yeah I figured there was no way Anthony could get away with it, not after all he did to poor baby Boz. But I shall try and post, and post and post some more, if can keep coming up with more ideas! So thank you !
Thanks again for all your wonderful and thoughtful reviews, it makes me just jump with excitement, so hope you liked this latest chapter, and tell me what you think! THANKS!