Chapter eight
I'm in pain. My leg… it's killing me…
My eyes open to that thought. It's a bright day. The light is shining brilliantly into his room. Or maybe it's the daylight reflecting off the white snow outside… whatever.
I grimaced while gently pulling myself up into a sitting position. Damn, my leg wasn't hurting at all yesterday. Guess that's what I get for not using my crutches properly. I pull the heavy covers from off me. They're hot and agitating. A sharp pain shoots through my thigh causing me to curse lightly. My eyes glances over to the other side of the bed. Sephiroth wasn't there. Figures.
One leg at a time I swing over the bed's edge, gritting my teeth as I go.
"..Shit…" The crutches were in my room, that's right.
My mind already tells me that there was no way I would be able to go get them myself without falling flat on my face. So there's always plan B.
"Seph!" My voice comes out rather distressed.
I sit there listening to silence. Was he even home? I call for him again, a little louder this time. Still nothing.
Balancing my weight on my good leg, I managed to hop to the open door and peak out. A bead of sweat runs down my temple. The pain was only getting worse. The mansion was eerily quiet and disserted as usual. No sign of anyone else.
"Alright, fine." I tell myself as I cling onto a neighboring wall. I'd have to just hop my way to my room. How hard could that be?
>>>
"Nhh!.."
My body collapses about three feet away from the threshold of my chambers. I squeeze my eyes shut as my chin slams against the hard wood floors. Blood trickles from my forcefully bitten lip. It was official, today was not going to be a good day.
The floor was quite cold and uncomfortable, but even the thought of getting up made my whole leg throb. So I laid there, drumming my fingers on the floor and waiting for Sephiroth to arrive. I just hope he gets back soon.
My eyes snapped opened at the loud sound of something being flung. I was on the verge of falling asleep. How long was I down here anyways? Carefully, I lift my chest up to peer down the steps. He must be back.
"Sephiroth?" I call hoarsely.
I hear his heavy boots come walking up the stairs. From the look on his face, his mind was elsewhere. Hell, I don't think he even noticed me there on the floor until I yelled his name for a second time. His green eyes sharply adverted towards me. Anger shadowed over him. Opps.. Did I interrupt something?
Before I could ask about his obvious mood, Seph scoops me up from the floor. I cringed and gripped onto his shirt in pain. He felt cold. As if he'd been outside without a coat on or something. I was then carried into my room and placed down upon the bed. My eyes looked up to him. Ok, so the angry look was gone. Being replaced by his usual blank stare.
"You haven't been using your crutches enough.." He began to remove my pants. If I wasn't in such horrible pain, that might've turned me on. "…You're not suppose to put too much weight on it."
"What's the matter?" I completely changed the subject. He shook his head and gently eased my pants down.
After a painful frown, I began again. "Don't lie to me. It's obvious when you're mad.."
No reply. He was too busy unraveling my bandages to even pay attention. At least that's what he wanted me to think. But I think I know when I'm being ignored.
I ripped the bandage he was holding from my leg. Detaching it from him.
"Now tell me.."
He finally makes eye contact with me. "I told you there's nothing wrong. Why can't you leave it at that?"
That felt cold. Colder than that floor I was on for God knows how long.
"You're. Lying." I put extra emphasis on my response.
"Look, do you want your leg helped or what?"
"Would you quit avoiding the subject!"
He murmured something that vaguely sounded like "fuck it" and left my room, slamming the door behind him. I sighed loudly and laid back. That wasn't fair. Today was suppose to be my bad day, not his.
I forget how early it darkens out in the winter time. It couldn't have been no later than five p.m. and already my whole room was pitch black. Yep, I've been sitting in here all day with no one to talk to or even look at. My leg hurts so badly, I can't even go hop over and turn on the light so I could at least read something. And on top of that, I'm hungry and I have to go to the bathroom now. When will this day end?
"Great.." I whispered.
I was beginning to get a headache.. Rapidly.
A moan leaves me as my hands shoots up to my head to hold it. The pain was sharpening by the second. It was like someone was slowly shoving a stake into my brain or something.
"Ugh.." I roll from side to side, hoping to subdue the pain. I kick out… Wrong leg! The pain from my leg instantly takes over the pain in my head. I jump up to rub my leg when I notice the room is glowing a fiery reddish orange color...
I feel my eyes grow large as hot embers fly around me. The whole room was on fire!
I tried to throw myself off the bed, but my legs won't budge! I'm stuck. A massive wall of flames erupt towards me. I yell and guard my face with my arms. I feel my hair and sheets fan around me as the fire blows past. Everything is too bright, I keep my eyes closed. Why aren't I burning?
After the fire moves past, I drop my arms and quickly look around. The curtains, the walls, the floor… Everything is burning…except me. Something moved. I quickly turn to my right, half expecting to see anything right about now. It's a woman. With blonde hair and blue eyes. She's desperately trying to escape from the flames that lick at her from all around. I know this lady.
"M-mother?" I stutter. Though she doesn't hear me.
She screams for help right before falling to the floors. I try to jump up but my leg quickly protests and I go falling back down. She screams. I scream for her. The fire grows larger and brighter…
Then in a flash of bright light everything goes back to normal.
The fire is gone.
My mother is gone.
The room is back dark and everything falls silent. As if nothing ever happened.
I sit there. Horrified. My eyes are still wide and I'm having trouble breathing. I hold a hand over my racing heart. Was that how my mother really died? I'm suffocating. The room spins…
I pass out.
I'm being held. No, cradled. Someone is stroking my arm… Is that you, mother?
I feel my whole body tremble. No, it wasn't a dream. I am being cradled. But not by my mother. My eyes reluctantly opened to see I was resting on my side against another's torso. My arm laid lazily across a leg while the person brushed it gently with their hand.
It was strangely comforting.
I lift my achy head upwards to see Sephiroth gazing out the window. Probably in some remote thought.
Was…it really Sephiroth? Did HE really kill my mother in that fire? I'm quickly reminded of that petrifying vision. And it angers me. It was both him and NOT him… My heart and my mind was at war now. That ..that memory.. It had me thinking one thing and feeling another… what do I do now?
Am I back to feeling that uncertainty again?
I slowly sit up from him, letting his hand fall to the bed. Seph turns his head towards me. Smiling slightly. Such a loving and trusting face…
"I found you shivering and sweating pretty badly in your sleep…on the floor.. Last night. You had me worried, Cloud." He reaches for my face and placed his hand on my cheek. I turned from it. Not wanting to be touched.
He keeps his hand in mid air, looking at me deeply. "Are you still not feeling well?"
I glanced over at him, his eyes were surveying me. I couldn't come up with anything to say to him at the moment. So I dropped my eyes towards his lap. I wanted to punch him out…and I wanted to kiss him intensely.. Was there a nice way to do both?
I was too busy debating to notice him leaning in closer. And in a flash he stole a kiss from me. The feeling was indescribable. It was like my body yearned for it, yet my mind was rejecting it. He continued to kiss me. His hand traveled to my back as he deepened it. I felt his tongue against my own. I quivered.
Don't go on!….But please do…
Before we could get carried away, my hands sprung forth on their own and pushed him away from me.
Sephiroth blinked at me. The look of confused rejection poured over him. I stared back at him. He drew his eyebrows together slightly. He didn't take rejection well.
He moved in again, a little quicker this time. But I moved my head to the side before he could attempt to kiss me.
Seph smiled a phony smile and kissed my cheek instead.
"I love you. Remember that." He whispered in my ear and stood from the bed. I looked away. He then walked to the door and left. Closing it gently behind him.
Hmm, I should've told him to bring me something to eat. I'm starving about now. A few minutes earlier I had to choke down two pain relievers with no water. My leg has me pretty much stationary in my bed. And there's no way I'm going to call for Sephiroth's help. I don't want him thinking I'm not capable of taking care of myself… even though I really can't..
But, it's HIS fault I'm like this, right? So why shouldn't I have him running up and down the stairs for me? But then again.. a lot of things is his fault.. Here we go again..
"Screw it.." I concluded, reaching for my crutches.
I brace myself and pull my body up off the bed, clinging onto the crutches for dear life. When I was done cursing at the top of my lungs, I kicked the ajar door open with my good leg and slowly hopped my way down the hall. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Granted, it still hurt like hell, but I was able to move none the less. Ah, to be mobile again.
"Before all else…"
I smiled and entered the most missed bathroom. I kicked the door closed. One of the best things about living with another guy… is not having to worry about letting the seat back down.
After that balancing act, I flushed and wobbled over to the sink. I turned on the hot water and took a look in the mirror. God was I pale. I'm beginning to think that I'll never stay one color for long. The steam from the running water caressed my face. A hot bath would hit the spot big time… I'll have to think of a way to get one. I was about to let the scorching water burn the hell out of my cold hands when a spot caught the corner of my eye.
I looked down and over to it. It was on the edge of the tub… A crimson blot. Turning away from the running water, I gently placed a finger tip into it. It was still wet… slightly warm… Blood? Or perhaps hot paint? ...Ok, so that was wishful thinking..
There was more. Long, thin streams of red liquid going down the tub's wall. As if something was dripping blood...something or someone. I touched that too. still wet. this was all fresh. what the hell was going on behind my back?
The door to the bathroom suddenly opened. I spun around, startled. I must've startled him too becauseSephiroth jumped a bit.
His hand...
I caught a glimpse at it before he could quickly hide it behind his back. It was covered in an identical scarlet wetness.
"Your hand..." I spoke rather demandingly.
"I didn't mean to intrude. Excuse me." He spoke coolly and closed the door back. I quickly swung the door back opened and caught up to him.
"What the hell is going on? Why do I keep finding blood?"
Seph smirked nonchalantly. "You do?"
Balancing the crutch under my arm, I reached out and seized his blood covered wrist. "Who's blood is this, Sephiroth?"
His glowing green eyes traveled up his bloodied hand, then immediately snapped back to me. I intensified the stare. I was tired of being left alone in the dark. He never tells me anything that he's doing. Not to mention the big golden reason on why the hell I'm here! Then he wonders why I don't fully trust him half the time..
"Oh, who blood do you think it is?" was his menacing reply. He was challenging me..
Remembering that the scolding hot water was still running in the bathroom, I smirked briefly. He watched as I flung the crutch from under the arm I was using to hold his wrist.
"We'll just have to see, huh?" I replied dragging him in the bathroom. I then rammed his bloody hand under the boiling hot water.
His eyes grew wide as he screamed in agony and fell backwards and away from the sink. His back hit the wall and he slowly slid downward to the floor, holding his hand.
I looked carefully to see a long, bright red gnash going down the palm of his hand and wrist. Now how did that get there? Instantly I began to feel bad for what I just did. I looked to his flushed face. He was resting his head upwards against the wall with his eyes closed tightly. Yeah, ok.. So you shouldn't applying super hot water to open cuts… But I didn't know it was his OWN blood. I just wanted to burn him a little, plus wash the blood off.
I sheepishly hopped over and sat on the edge of the tub. I reached out to grab his hand.
"Don't. Touch. Me." He warned between gritted teeth. I nodded and moved my hand.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was such a bad cut under the blood.."
He grunted and slowly stood to his feet where he returned to the sink. After adjusting the water temperature, he proceeded to finish rinsing off his hand.
"How did you hurt yourself?"
He shut the water off and grabbed a towel where he wrapped it completely. "Training. When using something as deadly as my Masamune, the slightest mistake can be fatal."
I wanted to ask him about the towel I found in his room the other day, but he left me. I listened as he walked down the hall and into his room. Where he shuts the door.
"Wait.."
My lips mumbled as I hopped out into the hall, retrieving my crutch. I didn't want to be alone right now. It seems when I'm left alone too often a bunch of freaky stuff happens to me.
I hop my way along to his door and knock.
No answer.
So I enter anyways.
Sephiroth sits on his bed, wrapping his hand in a long white bandage. He held one end in his hand and the other end between his teeth. I close the door behind me and decides to stand balanced on one leg.
"I don't recall saying you can come in.." He speaks, though his eyes are still on his injury.
"Actually, I don't recall you saying anything."
"What do you want, Cloud?" Seph sighs at me deeply.
"Sex." I grinned evilly, leaning against the door. Maybe that'll perk him up a bit. …Or maybe not.
"That's not what you came in here for. You want to talk to me about something...right?"
"How would you know?" I eye him as he makes his way towards me. Yeah, he was right. But I'm not about to admit it.
He walks over, stopping less than an inch from me. Then with his fingers, he lifts my chin, bringing our lips almost to the touching point. I feel my face blush.
"Because I know you.."
I bite my lip a little.
"But," He began again, this time nuzzling my neck a little, "If you really did come in here for sex, I'll be more than happy to give it to you…"
His teeth gently nips at my neck, sending shivers down my back. Right about now, I wasn't sure what I wanted.
Ok, I came in here to talk about my vision… not to play a round of love tackling.. I wanted to talk things out!
I tell my mind to shut up for once.
"T-Thought you were mad at me.." I told him breathlessly.
"I Thought you were mad at me…" The taller one countered.
"Who cares.." I move in and kissed him. All I cared about at the time was my heart. And it was telling me to kiss him. I feel his lips smile into the kiss.
Yeah, I prefer doing this too, Seph. My inside voice says.
My crutches slip from my fingers and hits the floor. The weight of his body was softly pinning me against his door. Our shared kiss grows more passionate. A long sigh escapes me as I become lost in the moment..
He groans longingly, picks me up and props me back against the door. He now stands between my legs, and I wrap them around his firm waist. This turns me on so much… until something reminded me why this was a bad idea.
"…Aaahh!" A sharp pain ran through my thigh.
Sephiroth quickly places me back down on the floor and steps back. Looks like the both of us forgot about my stab wound. He bends down and picks up my crutches, handing them to me one at a time. I nod a thank you. He mumbles a "you're welcome" and scratches the back his head. We were both so ready to go at it that it felt awkward to stop so suddenly.
Here's that uncomfortable stillness. I hate that so much.
"But anyways, I did want to talk to you.." I broke the quietness.
The older one sits on the bed, running a hand through his long silver hair. "Uh, sure. Go ahead."
I choose to remain standing by the door. Mostly likely if we come within three inches of each other, we'll be at it again. Damn leg…
"I've been… having visions.." I started my explanation.