A Day in the Life of Naraku
By Dranxis
Chapter 8: The One Cake to Rule Them All
As the sounds of their laughter subsided into silence, the wheedling of the crickets came into hearing, sharp and demanding of focus. The traveling companions sat in wonder, as they listened to the insistent trill about them. Across the valleys wafted a quick, sharp gust of wind. It ruffled the grasses peacefully, but ominously, bringing a scent of earth and strange wildflowers. Inu-Yasha bolted up, sniffing the night air.
"C'mon, guys. The stink of that bastard Naraku isn't far off. We've wasted enough time here: let's get going."
A silent groan sounded through the group, as they returned to their unpleasant task. With a jangle Miroku pulled himself up by his staff. He turned his prudent gaze across the field, as Shippo settled on his shoulder.
"I can sense a strong aura from that direction. Lady Kagome, what of the shards?"
Firing back a quick glance, Kagome strode up to the crest of a hillock. Her eyes glazed over with concentration, as she fingered a velvety pouch of Shikon shards.
"Very faintly, I feel them… Many of them. No doubt about it, Naraku must be keeping the jewel in his castle."
With a grim face, Sango settled astride Kirara, Miroku behind her. The cat demon sprang into the air, vibrant flames halo-ing her ankles as she ascended. Lifting Kagome on his back, Inu-Yasha followed them. And so the companions traveled in silence, Naraku's castle a dark shadow in their sights.
Meanwhile…
Sesshoumaru burst through the shoji screen, his claws creating a trail of wooden splinters as they slashed through. He landed in the threshold, his mane falling softly after him.
Kagura and Kikyo stared as the dog demon cast about. He wore an immensely frustrated look upon his face. At length, Sesshoumaru seemed to take notice of the two drunken women, and strode imperiously toward them.
"Where. ith. Naraku?" he growled, lip curling back. Kikyo lifted the bottom of her glass up, regarded him wordlessly, while Kagura shrugged one blue-clothed shoulder.
"How am I s'posed ta know? –hic- I'm not his frickin' maid." She quaffed the rest of her sake. The furrow of frustration deepened in Sesshoumaru's brow, as he glared off.
"Thith sthink of shake is muffling my thenth of sthmell. Where'th thath bathard gotten thu?" He raised a striped hand and cracked its finger joints loudly. Kagura slid out of her chair, swaying as she got to her feet and looked Sesshoumaru up and down.
"Hey, why're you sho interested in Naraku, -hic- anyhow? Forget that loser, shtay here with ush, Shesshoumaru…" she murmured, holding up a tankard of sake and waving it temptingly. "Kikyo an' I don't bite. Why don't ya looshen up fer once?" Kikyo also gave him an inviting smile, to which Sesshoumaru returned a disgusted look.
"Thith Thethoumaru does not get wasthed with human wenches."
"So who doesh he get wasted –hic- with, demon wenches?" Kagura snapped, gesturing to her pointed ears. "Hey, demon here! Hell, Kikyo'sh barely a human 'erself. Right, Keekster?"
"Yeah. My body's clay, shee, shee?" exclaimed Kikyo, proudly showing her bare, smooth arm. Sesshoumaru grimaced and walked off, muttering to himself about the foolish effects of sake. Kagura strode after him.
"Aww, c'mere! Ya know ya want shum!" she called, waving her fan. Sesshoumaru whipped around, his hair bristling.
"Justh thuth up, woman! I don'th need your you or your sthupid alcoholic drinksth!" He shot the jug a vehement look. Finally, a realization seemed to penetrate Kagura's sluggard mind.
"Hey, Sesshoumaru, are you –hic- lishpin'?" A wicked smile spread across her red face. Kikyo watched on with interest as Sesshoumaru seemed to flare up, his impatient disgust more plain than ever.
"Tho whath if I am? Will thath stop you from sthalking me? Go ahead, laugh like the othersth, I don't give a rath's assth anymore!"
Kagura strode purposefully forward, her bare feet slinking along the floor. As the smile widened, threatening to trail off her face, Kagura went toe to toe with the demon lord. Just as Sesshoumaru thought she was about to laugh him in the face, the wind witch's brow arched suggestively.
"Lishpin'. Thash shoooooo…. SHECK-SHAY!" she squealed, tackling him. Immediately Sesshoumaru was clawing her off, as Kagura tried to burrow into his clothes.
"Help! Thith Thehoumaru ith being moleth-ted! RAPE! MURDER! THEXUAL HARATHMENT!" he cried, repeating the multi-purpose mantra many a distressed woman utters in a time of need. Just as he shoved Kagura off him, the demoness pounced back. With a lurch she slid deft fingers forward and undid his armor. Sesshoumaru snapped away at the touch and threw her off. But the lusty Kagura merely cackled, tugging off the edge of his robed arm.
"Look, Shesshou's shelf-conscious! Don't worry, Kikyo and I have both –hic- seen plenty of action. And Keekster's a priestessh!" From the bar, Kikyo nodded solemnly. She had been watching the struggle with amused eyes, and made no movement to stop it. Sesshoumaru slashed viciously at Kagura's hand and stood up, eying the damage to his garments. Kagura, who had pulled back in time to dodge the slash, bounced up to him. "Having trouble getting' out of thosesh clothes? Here, I'll HELP!" She giggled and tore off the voluminous sleeve. Sesshoumaru pulled away from her, looking at horror at his bare chest.
"And I JUSTH got these dry-cleaned! DIE!" he roared. Leaping forward, he clouted her over the head. Kagura crumpled in a heap. But the woman couldn't seem to stay down, and gathered herself into a half-conscious sitting position. She lashed out and ripped off one of his pant legs. Sesshoumaru dashed off, forever traumatized, while Kagura called after him:
"You can run, but shew can't hide, Shesshou! –hic- When you feel a lil' gusht of wind gropin' yer behind, I'll be there! When you slide into hot shpring, I'll be there! When even you feel the love –hic- in the air durin' mating sheason, I'll be—" An empty jug ricocheted off her head.
"Aww, shuddup, you scared him off, scared him good," Kikyo muttered, retracting her throwing arm. And slumping moodily back at the bar, the priestess made no attempt to revive her twitching friend.
Naraku rounded a bend. Throwing his hair loftily over one shoulder, the half-demon bore his shoulders with pride. He had left the cake to bake, and it wouldn't be long before it was finished. Smiling, Naraku envisioned Kikyo on her knees with happiness as he presented the cake. She'll forgive everything I've done to her, when she sees the mightiest cake of them all. Nothing can stand in the way of my baking. "Nothing!" he murmured affirmatively underneath his breath.
Just then, Sesshoumaru whipped into the hall. Tattered garments flared about him. As he turned hateful golden eyes on Naraku, his hair fell about his face in whitish disarray. Raising one brow, Naraku glanced Sesshoumaru's half-naked form up and down.
"Had a little run-in with my dear Kagura, Sesshoumaru?"
The dog demon twitched. Shifting so that his yellow sash covered one bare leg, Sesshoumaru replied:
"Yeth, I had a litthle run-in with her. Your inebriated witch justh thried thu rape me."
Naraku placed a hand over his mouth as his eyes widened.
"Oh my. I'm so sorry, Sesshoumaru. Wouldn't want your precious virginity taken so early in your century-long life, now would we?" he cooed, voice oily with sarcasm. "But why is it that you are speaking with such a heavy, uh, accent, my friend? Is it that day already?"
Sesshoumaru, who honestly had no idea what that day could be A/N: neither do I gave Naraku a deer-in-headlights look.
"Wait a minuteth… You mean… You didn't know… About my lithping? Thith whole time?"
Naraku shook his head. Disbelief crawled slowly across Sesshoumaru's face, as his reason seemed to collapse within in.
"Stho… Thith whole time… You've been threathening me with peaches… And you didn't know what would happen when I ate them?"
"I just thought that they gave you a really bad rash," returned Naraku, shrugging his shoulders. "That's what Jaken told me. He even had pictures! But really, this is so much better." Naraku rubbed his hands together gleefully, eyes thinning to dangerous slits.
Sesshoumaru, ignoring the Jaken comment lest he have another reason to go insane, fell to his knees. But he quickly recovered his composure, sliding Toukijin out of his sash.
"Now I really will have to kill you," he intoned in a strange voice, putting one bare leg forward. Naraku took a step back, though the smile remained on his face.
"Now, now, Sesshoumaru. I have something in the oven, you know, this is no time for me to be going and dying off. Would you at least wait until it's done baking, and try some? I can guarantee that its power shall satisfy even your tastes."
Without a word of response, Sesshoumaru pounced. His claws flew through the air and swiped above Naraku's head. Naraku snapped back, sandal skidding across the floor. A leer gleamed in the demon's eyes, as razor-ridged tentacles sprouted from his back with a sickening sschrriiiiiiiiipppllle.
"You dare defy me, little dog demon? I, Naraku, shall show you the futility of your whims," he cackled, returning to his cold self once more. Sesshoumaru dove down. His claws tore at the discolored tentacles, which writhed about Naraku's frame like snakes. One turned and shot through Sesshoumaru's chest. Pulling free, the dog demon danced back, blood soaking his robes.
But just as Sesshoumaru was about to retaliate, Kohaku dashed into their midst. Panting, the boy turned wild eyes to Naraku.
"Master! The cake! It's… it's…"
"What? What's wrong with the cake?" Naraku snapped, annoyed at having his fight interrupted. The tentacles retracted into his body. Kohaku gasped.
"It's, it's COMING!" he shrieked, running past. Sesshoumaru and Naraku exchanged a confused glance. Together, they peered around the corner.
Before them loomed a wall of dough. As though alive, it squirmed down the corridor, sticky undulating waves grappling for leverage. Stinking of undercooked dough, rum, potatoes, and eggs, and making thick sucking sounds as it came, the hulking monster took over the room. Naraku and Sesshoumaru stood frozen before the beast. Then, they turned and bolted.
"Naraku, whath have you DONE?" yelled Sesshoumaru, as the cake engulfed the last passage. Naraku panted as he raced forward, throwing one half-proud, half-afraid glance back.
"I don't know! I knew my cake would be powerful, but not THIS powerful!" Around them, the wave raced, filling rooms with its sticky mass. Halls were clogged, beams and rafters crushed beneath its might. Sesshoumaru and Naraku hurtled toward the castle's center. Now they could see the wave of dough taking over the exit passages.
"We're DOOMED! DOOOOOOOMED!" Sesshoumaru screamed over the sickly roar, shaking Naraku's shoulders. The demon lord had lost it. Naraku slapped him, bringing the dog to his senses.
"We can make it through this, man! Together! C'mon, I know where the castle's secret exits are! I built them just in case this ever happened," Naraku assured him, turning around to face their enemy. Throwing long arms of dough into the room, the cake surrounded them. Sesshoumaru frantically rushed forward and slashed a way through, pausing for Naraku to overtake him and lead the way.
Meanwhile, some time earlier…
Inu-Yasha stood grimly before the castle. A flickering dark red aura surrounded it, the remnants of a barrier. But something was not right here… The barrier had weakened. Was Naraku trying to draw them in?
"I'm not sure what Naraku is planning," began Miroku, mirroring Inu-Yasha's thoughts, "but it seems as though he wants us to enter." A scowl crossed Sango's face, as she alighted from Kirara.
"Who knows what's in store for us, inside." Kagome's gaze darkened, but she quickly took heart and turned to the others.
"C'mon guys, we're here. We've found Naraku's castle. All we have to do now, is weed him out!" Miroku smiled at the girl's confidence.
"Very true, Lady Kagome. But how exactly do we do that? Who knows where Naraku may be within the castle?"
"He must be there: I sense the Shikon shards. But it's strange, something's blocking my perception of them… I know they're within the castle, but I can't pinpoint their exact location."
"Then we'll just have to split up and search," Inu-Yasha snapped. "C'mon, we'll cover much more ground that way. And if you find Naraku: destroy him! He may be an artful escapist, but I doubt that coward can hold his own in a one-on-one fight. Ain't much more to him than miasma and tentacles. Kagome, you come with me. Sango, you go with Kirara, and Shippo, you stay with Miroku. Let's head out!" With that, the group raced towards the castle, each heading for a different entrance.
Inu-Yasha and Kagome strode into the front entrance. The shoji screen swung loosely from the wall, wooden splinters strewn across the ground.
"It smells like Sesshoumaru has been here," Inu-Yasha muttered irrelevantly. Kagome strung her bow, walking tentatively into the threshold. Holding a clawed hand over his nose, Inu-Yasha's face wrinkled in disgust.
"God, it stinks of alcohol in here! Who the hell's been knocking some back?"
Kikyo looked up from the table, a slightly surprised look on her face.
"Inu-Yasha?" she muttered groggily, getting to her feet. Inu-Yasha's brows shot up at her.
"Kikyo?" The two stared slack-jawed at one another. Kagome glanced darkly from Kikyo to Inu-Yasha, from Inu-Yasha to Kikyo.
"Wha… what are you doing here?" they both inquired at the same time, walking toward one another. But Kikyo's sharp glance flew at Kagome like a hornet. The priestess scowled, taking up her glass and swilling its contents menacingly.
"Sho… Inu-Yasha… you've come with her, huh, you've come 'ere with HER?" she growled, jabbing a finger at Kagome. Kagome took a step back, wondering at the woman's boiling ferocity. But Inu-Yasha seemed oblivious of such subtle warning signs, and moved forward to take Kikyo's hand.
"Kikyo… what are you doing here in Naraku's castle? …drinking?" As he ignored her anger, Kikyo grimaced at his stupidly concerned face. "You shouldn't be here. You know that. Who knows what Naraku could do to you while you drunk?" Without warning, she stamped his foot.
"I'll do whatever AH fucking want! You can't tell me what'ta do anymore. After all, nothin' AH say'll stop you from prancin' around with that wench!" she snarled, glancing accusingly at Kagome. Inu-Yasha eyes widened as she bore down on him, splashing the sake in his face.
"You two-timin', mangy, brothel-born, weak-kneed, tail-between-yer-legs mutt! Ah gave everythin' for you, for YOU and YOU alone, and what did you do? Ya KILLED meh! Ya frickin' slashed me and stole the jewel! And then, I came back from the DEAD, where I got shum appreciation for ONCE, and gave ya a sec'nd chance! But noooooooo, yer too busy screwing around with her—" another vicious stab at Kagome, "Ta listen to me! At least I know what loyalty ish! Hell, you can't even fess up your feelings for HER, let alone me!"
"Now, now, waitasecond, Kikyo," Inu-Yasha soothed, though his eyes were wild with panic, "why don't we just sit you down over here, and we can all sort this misunderstanding out—"
"Oh come off it, Inu-Yasha," cut in Kagome, who seemed to have caught Kikyo's contagious anger. "Kikyo's right. Why can't you decide between us? Why's it always, 'Oh, but Kikyo still needs me!' ? Why should that dead pot of clay need any protection? Huh? Forgot that zombie bitch, I'm the one who needs you!"
"Sho I'm the bitch now, huh?" Kikyo laughed, marching up to Kagome. "Ya little wench, yer just a pale shadow of me! Ya don't even have my looksh, let alone my brains."
Helplessly Inu-Yasha glanced from Kagome to Kikyo as his two lovers exchanged shrills of rage. Within the next moment, they seemed about to tear out one another's throats, before he brought them back to the task at hand.
"Oh, shut up, you two, or I'll dump both of you! We're here to defeat Naraku, not have ourselves a pissy little catfight." Both of them turned on him, their glares cold enough to freeze blood.
"What did you just say?" they growled in unison. The two advanced like a pair of predatory animals. Inu-Yasha gulped, and was just about to step back when an ominous rumbling came into hearing.
Kikyo and Inu-Yasha watched wide-eyed as a huge wave of dough shattered the ceiling and crushed them. Kagome screamed as they were immersed, she herself stepping back from the flow. But Inu-Yasha quickly swam to the surface, tugging Kikyo up into the air beside him. The undulations of the dough moved them out of the room, as Inu-Yasha called back:
"What the f---? Kagome! I smell Naraku nearby! It's up to—" And here he was shoved under the dough again, only to bob back up: "--you! find him, don't worry about me, I'll be fine!" The dough surged past, carrying Inu-Yasha and Kikyo off. Kagome trembled, watching them go past. She hated to leave Inu-Yasha, especially with Kikyo, but he was right. There was no time to waste. Inu-Yasha would have to free himself: and she must carry out their task until he could join her.
The strange, doughy mass suckled at her ankles. Kagome dashed back as it threatened to sweep her away too. She concentrated as she ran, feeling the shards. They were stationary, no doubt about that. Keeping her bow at hand, Kagome headed in the direction of the jewel, as the walls began to collapse about her.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the castle…
Sango hoisted the hiraikotsu on her back, dashing into the room. Her sharp eyes flew about, watching for the slightest movement from the shadows. Beside her, Kirara loped fire-ankled into the room. Together, they remained stationary, watchful of enemies.
"Alright. I think he must be farther in," murmured Sango, as she strode forth, Kirara pacing alongside her. Together, the entered the next room, which looked as though it had once been inhabited.
"Wha… what is this?" gasped Sango, carefully fingering a garment of gray cloth. A demon-slayer's sickle lay alongside it. "These are Kohaku's. Is my brother still under that damned Naraku's thumb?" Her eyes creased sadly, as she held the cloth close. "If Kohaku's here… He may try to fight against Inu-Yasha and the others. What can I do?" Kirara pawed close to her, nuzzling the cloth for its familiar smell. At once, a determined look set into Sango's eyes. "If I find Kohaku, I must take him back, whether he remembers me or not. He can't serve Naraku any longer." She tucked the cloth and sickle away into one of her pouches. It was then that Kirara came across another object in the room.
Out from a corner the demon cat rolled a great grayish ball. It was lumpy, and stank of feet and sweat—Sango couldn't help but wonder what it could be doing in her brother's room. On closer inspection, the demon-slayer determined that it was a ball of left socks.
"What is this doing here?" she murmured, a little disconcerted. Kirara, ignoring the smell, tapped the ball gently with one black forepaw. It rolled some feet away. Growling in pleasure, the giant cat rolled the sock-ball again, chasing after it like a kitten after a yarn-ball.
"This is very strange, very strange indeed. This sock-ball must be some insidious device of Naraku's," she concluded with a comically straight face. Ignoring Kirara's antics, Sango continued out into the hall. She stiffened when her foot fell across a piece of paper with a crackle.
"My Kami-sama… This is Kohaku's too!" she exclaimed in wonder, unrolling the parchment. Spidery black lines etched across it, tracing the lines of a poem. "To My Sister," titled it. A small tear glimmered at the edge of Sango's eye, as she held the poem close. "Oh, Kohaku, I knew you remembered me, deep down!" This must be his desperate message to me, pleading me to rescue him, she thought sadly. With that, Sango unfurled the scroll entirely, and began to read.
"To My Sister,"
I recall not thy face
Which is hard to trace
With a black pen
And some yen
It sadden me to think
You have remained at your sink
And no longer remember
This heart your dismembered
I don't really know
Who you are…o
Or why I should
When my head's thicker than wood
And this sickle I carry
Whom I have named Larry
Wants to draw blood
To make me look like a stud
And so I conclude
My ballad, so cooed
My end is nigh
Oh, how I SIGH!
---by Kohaku G. Ferdinand
For some long moments, Sango stared at the paper. She raised an eyebrow.
"Uhhh… What a wonderful poem!" she complimented enthusiastically, as though afraid Kohaku were there and might see her weirded-out visage. "Kohaku really has quite the uhh, talent!" She rolled it back hastily and stuffed it away. "I'll have to erm, thank him for such a wonderful heart-felt poem!" Calling back to her still-distracted companion, Sango made her way deeper into the castle.
Some distance away…
The dough lapping at his feet, Kohaku dashed headlong through the castle.
"Where'stheexitwhere'stheexitwhere'sthestupidexit?" he gibbered, casting about fruitlessly as he ran down the corridor. "I'm a new employee here! How am I supposed to know where the fire exits are?" He swung around a corner and opened a door. It merely lead to another hallway, itself framed by countless doors. Hurriedly Kohaku slammed it close and continued down the hall, as the dough began to pool into the chambers behind him.
It was then, faintly over the glooping roar of the cake, that Kohaku heard it. A voice, and the sound of a great animal galloping toward him. Instinctively he flattened himself to the wall as an immense golden cat sprang past. Atop it rode a woman, clad in the velvety black of a demon-slayer.
"Sister!"
The cat skidded to a stop, as the woman turned slowly around to face him.
"Brother!"
Ignoring their imminent, doughy doom, the siblings rushed forward to embrace one another.
"Oh Kohaku, I knew I'd find you!" sobbed Sango, her head over Kohaku's shoulder. Kohaku patted her back, himself overcome with emotion. But the sound of rending beams and rafters broke them from their woeful reunion.
From behind them, the cake loomed. Before them, it rose as well. Sango glanced sharply around: there was no escape. Kirara growled as the ceiling began to cave in, weighty dough dribbling down from above.
"Kohaku! Let us die together: for such is the fate as we, the most angsty characters in the series," Sango proclaimed. She pulled him close to her once more. But Kohaku broke away, staring at his sister with wide eyes.
"Are you crazy? I'm not dying, that's for sure!" Suddenly he spotted his poem sticking out of Sango's pouch. "Hey! You weren't supposed to read that yet!" Without another word, he snatched his parchment and fled the scene, slipping through a gap in the dough just in time.
"Kohakuuuuuuu!" Sango wailed, reaching one hand forward as though to restrain him. But the sorrow on her face was replaced by anger. "You little traitor! You're supposed to be a good boy and die with your sister! And you know what? Your poem SUCKS!" But before the demon-slayer could say another word, the dough rushed forward and enveloped her and Kirara, pushing them down the hallway and out the castle.
And, yet another meanwhile…
Jaken, Rin, and Kanna raced down the passage, the dough hard on their heels.
"Master Jaken, I don't wanna be a cake toooooppppppppppiiiiinnnng!" Rin squealed, tears of fear running down her face. Stumbling over his staff, Jaken scrambled down the corridor.
"Just shut up and RUN, Rin! We have to find Lord Sesshoumaru!"
"Where's Daddy? I want my Daddy!" Kanna cried, as she eyed the damage around them fearfully. The three rounded a corner, stopping in their tracks as they spotted Sesshoumaru and Naraku.
"Lord SESSHOUMARU!" Rin and Jaken cried, bounding toward him. Rin tugged on Sesshoumaru's other pant-leg, staring curiously at him.
"Where'd your clothes go, Lord Sesshoumaru?"
Sesshoumaru glanced down at her as though he couldn't remember her face, then recalled his state of partial undress. He sighed, running one hand through his hair.
"Later, Kin. I'll explain when we geth outh of here." As Jaken stood, wondering what possibly could have befallen his lord, Kanna snuck up behind him. She stuffed her pouch of white powder down the toad demon's robes, then quickly dashed up to Naraku.
"Oh, Daddy, I was so worried you'd gotten eated up by the monster!" she cried, hugging his leg. Naraku ignored her, staring fearfully about at the surrounding dough.
Sesshoumaru glanced to his left. That passage was blocked by dough. Then, he glanced to the left. No way out there, either.
"Alrighth. I sthee thath I musth use thath thechnique, then," the demon lord muttered darkly. He slid Tenseiga from its scabbard with a metallic rasp, and pointed it challengingly at the dough. Jaken stared up at the thin sword with wide eyes.
"B-but, m'lord… What can you possibly hope to do with Tenseiga?" Sesshoumaru scowled, stepping forward.
"There is one thing I can do, Jaken. Thumthing I can only do under the influenth of the peaches." He raised the sword above his head.
"LIGHTHNING-DRAGON-PEACH-THREE-LEAF-RAZOR-STHRIKE-WHIRLWIND-BUDDHA-BLASTTH!" he roared, as the sword glowed a golden-peach color. Energy shot from the blade and convoluted above him, massing and balling into a vague peach-shape. The energy-peach volleyed forward and ripped an explosive hole in the dough. Hurriedly Sesshoumaru rushed through the gap, followed by Jaken and Rin. Kanna glanced timidly up at Naraku, and then followed them as well.
"Hey! Wait for me!" cried Naraku, sprinting after them. But it was too late: the dough had closed once more around the hole. With frenzied panic in his eyes, Naraku whipped around and glanced behind him. He was trapped.
"Purifying Arrow!" came a clear voice from beyond the dough. Naraku leapt back as a spearing light tore through, stopping at the opposite wall. As the light faded, the half-demon perceived that it was one of Kagome's arrows, embedded in the wall. Kagome herself followed, gazing fearfully about as the dough closed behind her.
"OMFG! its lyk Naraku and sutff111!" she screamed, sighting him in surprise. Naraku blinked, walking curiously toward her.
"Inu-Yasha's wench? What are you doing here?" he growled, noting the look of fear in the girl's eyes. But instantly Kagome changed tack, planting down her foot and nocking an arrow.
"Tell me: where is the jewel? Hesitate and I'll purify you right here!" she commanded, and the fierce look in her eyes told Naraku that this was no bluff.
"I left it on the dresser," he responded, holding up his hands defensively. "You can have that stupid thing, I don't want it anymore."
"You left it… on your dresser?" Kagome repeated, lowering the bow in disbelief. Is he lying? Why doesn't he want the jewel anymore?
"Right now, I'm more concerned about escaping this cake of mine," Naraku continued, staring pleadingly at her arrow. "C'mon, girl, do one of your purifying attacks. It's the only way we'll both escape from here."
"Nuh-uh! I'm not helping you! You're lyk, 3vil n al. I mean, evne tho u've nevre done anytinhg to me," Kagome went on, falling into her chatspeak in exasperation, "i cant help teh 3vil dood thats lyk so uncool!one.11 Notinhig personal, FYI."
Naraku looked at her as though she had been trying to start a conversation with him in Bulgarian.
"ZOMG the doghs comin!" she cried, as a crushed beam fell across their path.
"Then why don't you just attack it?" Naraku exclaimed, at his wit's end.
"o-0 Uhhhhh ok ill try but thsi is my last arrow n im not sure I can do it… Lyk, LOL, wouldnt it be kinda funneh if I missed n we were trapepd forevuh n evuh.."
"JUST FIRE THE DAMN ARROW!"
"J/K J/K J/K! I'll fire the arrow, sheesh!" With that, Kagome raised and bow and released the arrow. Gathering white energy as it arced, the arrow pierced through the dough. Quickly Naraku grabbed Kagome's hand and raced through the hole. With a heavy splock, the foul-smelling dough closed behind them. Releasing Kagome, Naraku ran off into another passage.
"Come on, I know a way out!" he called after him. Kagome stared dumbfounded as the purple-clad demon faded into the shadows. How could he be so stupid to think she'd trust him? "What are you waiting for, girl? Do you want to be part of the cake too?"
A wave of dough smashed through the opposite wall. Throwing her hands in the air, Kagome dashed after him.
"Wait for meeee!"
To be continued
Authoress's Notes: Hmm, this was originally supposed to be twice and long and the last chapter, but can't seem to upload the file. So I'm splitting it into two chapters and posting both at once.