REVIEW! AND I APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY!
Chapter 2: Ezlo
Link awoke with a groan. When he finally regained feeling in his body, he wished he hadn't: there was a throbbing pain in his head, and he felt stiff. His blurred vision cleared, and Link saw that he was in a bed inside Hyrule Castle.
"Oh! You're finally awake. Please go to the throne room when you're ready, the king wishes to see you..." a nurse said.
Not particularly feeling like going to the throne room, yet having nothing better to do, Link slid out of bed and reluctanly made his way to the king, all the while trying to rub the pain out of his head.
When he arrived, Link saw that guards were lined up on the side of the red carpet leading to the king and princess' throne. On the other side of the king's throne stood Link's grandfather. The King of Hyrule noticed Link.
"Oh, Link, my boy! Come here, come here," he said.
Link strode to the king.
"What?" he snapped.
"We were just discussing how Vaati broke the Picori Blade. Now, you see, the Picori made the blade, and in order to reforge it, we need to seek their help. Once the blade is reforged, we can break the curse that has turned my dear, sweet Zelda to stone..."
"She's not THAT great..." Link muttered, rolling his eyes.
"Shut up," the king continued. "Anyway, there is a catch: the Picori can only be seen by children. We need the Picori to be seen if they are to help us."
Hyrule's king turned to Master Smith and asked, "Now how old is Link here?"
Master Smith counted on his fingers and added up numbers for 2 whole minutes.
At last, he answered, "Link is 5, sir."
"I'M 12, YOU DUMBFUCK! 12!" Link shouted, stepping on his grandfather's foot.
Master Smith yelled and grabbed his injured foot. When he had recovered, he lunged at Link. A nasty fight began.
The king, under the illusion that everyone was listening to him, said, "12. You're still a child, you'll do. Link, I want you to take the broken Picori Blade to get it reforged, and because Vaati released all those monsters, I'll let you take the Smith's Sword so you can defend yourself. Also, I'll give you this map. Ok? Ok." The king pulled Link away from his grandfather, thrust the items into his arms, and shoved him out the door.
Link sighed as he walked through the marshy lands of the Minish Woods. He looked down at the map the King of Hyrule had so kindly drawn for him in crayon. It was utterly useless. Crumpling it up into a ball and tossing it over his shoulder, he muttered, "Piece of shit..."
Being far more intellectual than the king, Link figured that if he was going to look for Minish, what better place to do it than the Minish Woods?
A cry sounded through the woods.
"HELP! OUCH! SOMEONE! OW! HELP ME! PLEASE! OW! I BEG OF YOU! OUCH!"
Link followed the voice and came to a clearing.
Before him sat a green hat with a bird-like head. It had been the one crying for help, for 2 Octoroks stood on either side of it, spitting nuts at the cap.
Link stood there and watched the hat get hurt.
Sighting him, it cried, "BOY! HELP ME! OUCH! DON'T JUST STAND THERE! OOOWWW!"
Link thought over his options. He could kill the Octoroks, or he could let the bird hat suffer. He decided to go with the latter, until...
The hat's eyes glowed red and it looked at Link. In a demonic voice, it bellowed, "HELP ME NOW OR FACE MY SATANIC WRATH!"
Link's eyes widened and he quickly killed the Octoroks. The hat returned to normal.
"At last! You are a lazy child, do you know that?" it said, examining Link. "And you need to exercise more, your butt's kind of big, lazy! And that hair style is simply dreadful. And those clothes, yeck! What is WRONG with kids these days?"
Link stared at the hat, not amused.
"Hmm, I see you're overly-critical. How annoying," he said coolly.
"KIDS THESE DAYS HAVE NO RESPECT! NO RESPECT AT ALL!"
Link turned and started to walk away. The hat slowly hopped after him.
"Hey! Boy! Stop walking so fast! And don't drag your feet like that, you'll wear out your shoes! Wait for me!"
Link stopped and looked at the thing again.
"Ok, for one, my name is not 'boy', it's Link. Second of all, stop following me. It's weird enough that I just met a hat that resembles a bird, but it's even weirder now that it's stalking me." He turned around and started walking away once more.
The hat hopped along and screamed, "STOP, I SAY! AND WALK WITH YOUR BACK STRAIGHT!"
Link kept walking.
The thing got demonic again.
"STOP NOW, YOUNG CHILD!" it growled loudly.
Link shuddered and froze.
The hat approached, and when it was close enough, it flew up into the air and attatched itself to Link's head. Wriggling around, it made itself comfortable.
"Ah...it's rather comfy up here."
Link stood stiffly. Gritting his teeth, he said, "Ok, who are you, and WHY did you just attach yourself to my head?"
"My name is Ezlo. I shall accompany you in...whatever it is you're doing, Link. What ARE you doing, anyway?"
Link sighed.
"I'm trying to find the Picori people so they can reforge the Picori Blade and thus, break the curse placed on Princess Zelda by the evil wind sorcerer Vaati," he said quickly and in one breath.
Ezlo blinked.
"Vaati, you say?"
"Duh," Link snorted.
"Hmm...all the more reason to go with you, I suppose. You see, I need revenge on Vaati too," Ezlo said.
Link didn't even want to know why, so he kept walking, scanning the ground for Picori, hoping that Ezlo would just fall off.
"You know, you won't be able to find them so easily unless you become their size. And tuck your shirt in!" Ezlo snapped.
Link rolled his eyes.
"Oh, SURE, Ezlo, I think I shall shrink to Picori-size and have tea and crumpets with them!" he said sarcastically.
"I don't like your tone! AND YET AGAIN, STOP DRAGGING YOUR FEET!"
Link ignored the comment.
"Anyway," Ezlo continued, "There IS a way you can shrink to Minish size--"
"Minish? Don't you mean Picori?"
"Shut up! The so-called "Picori" refer to themselves as the Minish! SO LIKE I WAS SAYING...you can shrink to Minish size. With my help, of course..."
"'With your help'?" Link repeated.
"Yes...let me show you how it's done..." Ezlo said. "AND FOR THE LAST TIME, STAND UP STRAIGHT!"