Note: I do not own Love Hina, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
After being more aware of how rampant the Naru-bashings are, and how relentless they become, Narusegawa Naru finally has it and snaps. It's up to Keitaro and the others to try and bring her back to normal, before she does the unimaginable.
After reading those fics where Keitaro goes to the dark side because of the countless beatings, I thought it was about time the shoe went on the other foot, and Naru went on an angst trip of her own because of the Naru bashings already present.
GYRAX Presents…
Blondie Strikes Back?
Chapter 1: Ten Thousand Fists
"Damn email!" Naru shouted as she deleted yet another batch of junk mail. "My inbox is getting more and more of this spam every day! I'm gonna flip!" Naru put down her laptop and stormed downstairs to the kitchen. It was lunchtime, and she just wanted to get the spam problem off of her mind.
She went to the dining room and sat down on the seat across from Keitaro, her face clearly showing her annoyance. She wants it to just go, but something just won't let it be. Naru wondered why this problem would not just go away, while at the same time, was expressing the pure frustration of not being able to just take the ugly porcelain poodle off of the dresser and just throwing it out the window because it may have a high collector's value. She sat at her seat, her face red with anger.
Keitaro was thinking of a way to ask her what the problem is without provoking her. Knowing her very well, that may prove to be quite difficult. All the manager could do at the moment was sit there, wondering what Naru's problem was. Men and women were never able to fully understand one another, no matter how hard they try and no matter how much they think they can. All Keitaro wanted to do as he looked at her was try to help, but staring at her too long may also provoke her, so he looked away to avoid a confrontation. Not that Naru was always a ticking time bomb that would explode and take out the whole building if a pin dropped on it, but her mood said, "back off and give me space, Keitaro".
Just then, Kitsune walked into the dining room to take a seat to Naru's immediate left. The fox woman looked at her and quickly noticed her look of antagonism. "What's with the pouty face, huh Naru?"
Naru's voice then practically exploded in volume. "It's those Goddamn spammers again! It used to be just anonymously sent in advertisements about penis enlargement like I'M NOT A GIRL, but then it got worse. I suddenly started getting this ridiculous stream of messages from people saying some dramatic speech about how bad I am or something. Over the past few weeks, the number of messages increased, and became increasingly aggressive. And by God, they need to seriously check their spelling! Their grammar isn't going to win an essay contests either. Their syntax is God-awful. And it just doesn't stop, either!"
"Don't worry about that. Just pretend you're rubber and they're glue."
"I am. I marked just about all of those addresses as spam. I don't even read them anymore because the senders are dumb enough to think I'll forget the title of the message and read it. It was all good for a few days, but then it just got worse again. It's not that I'm depressed or anything of that sort. It's just that it's starting to grate on my nerves."
"How did so many people get hold of your e-mail address?"
"Don't know. I'm still thinking bout that. Actually, I'm considering asking the guys over at my homepage to take out my email address and give me a new one."
"That sounds like a good idea."
"Was it something you did?" Keitaro added.
"Of course not!" Naru snapped.
"Calm down! I was just asking why so many people would go through the lengths just to say all of that to you. Why would they even want to?"
"Don't ask me. I obviously don't know."
"So, you're talking about that email thing again?" Motoko just interrupted the conversation, as she strolled into the dining room and sat at the seat to Naru's right. "I felt some bad vibes coming from this room, so I went to investigate. True, it is starting to get obnoxious. The real problem is that it doesn't stop there. Yesterday, while I was walking home with her, a few guys gave her some really apprehensive glares, maybe even vicious in nature." She paused for a moment. "Maybe these are the same guys that gave her the emails."
"But that would only be a few guys though." Keitaro replied.
"Maybe these guys are using several different email addresses to send her those messages." Kitsune added. "Or that there are even more people out there that would probably give her the same looks."
"Let's hope it's not the latter." Motoko remarked.
"Pleas stop it." Shinobu spoke. She was standing behind Naru with her hands close to her chest. "This is making me feel bad."
"Well, she is right about one thing." Keitaro said. "This talk is really starting to bring some gloom into the house. Let's just forget about that."
"I'm starving anyway." Naru said.
"I guess everyone else is already here." Shinobu said. "I just need to get Su. I'll be back." She left the dining room in quite a casual manner.
"It's mail day, isn't it Naru?" Keitaro suddenly added.
"Yeah. Why?"
"…" Keitaro sat in silence for a moment. After a little thought, he opened his mouth to speak. "Never mind…" He kind of fell off after that word, like he intended to let something out, but didn't want to or it would cause some real damage to the household.
(O)
A mailman approached the dormitory with great trepidation; the place has death written all over it, and if you got near it, you might end up in crossfire of some kind, and may get into some real deep trouble, but this was his job, and he had to do it. He was holding a parcel in his right hand, ready to throw it. He cocked his arm back, ready to chuck it as hard and as far a he could, but then someone was coming. At the thought of having to confront one of the demon girls that resides in there, he just dropped the package and ran.
Keitaro came walking down the stairs to retrieve the mail that fell on the floor, not even phased by the mailman's reaction; he got used to it, now. He picked up the envelopes off the floor, but he also came across the parcel. He picked it up and took a good look at it; no one at the dorm was expecting a package, unless maybe it was another doohickey for Su. He put his ear to it, just to see if it was a bomb of some kind; one can never be too careful. He did not hear any ticking, so it was perfectly okay by him. He took it, as well as the envelopes, up the steps with him.
(O)
"Mail's here!" Su exclaimed, after she saw Keitaro tread through the house's front doorway. She took a look at the mail Keitaro was holding and quickly noticed the package. "Is that for me?"
"I was going to ask you that?" Keitaro answered. Without second thought, Su swiped the package from him and opened up in quite an animalistic manner, like a dog was opening it up and not a human; she even tore up the Styrofoam in the box. What she took out kind of surprised her; it appeared to be a black videocassette.
"What's this?" Su asked, as she was examining the contents of the little black box.
"Give it to me," Keitaro ordered. Su complied and handed the object over to him. Keitaro looked for a VCR to put it in. He went up to the living room and put the tape in a VCR just below the TV set. The object slid into the VCR's slot smoothly and slowly. The manager changed the channel to three and pressed play. He and Su had to wait a few seconds as they heard the small mechanical whirring sounds and clicking; the final whirr signaled them that the tape was about to play. The two watched closely as the blue screen suddenly turned into an image.
Kitsune entered the living room, in hopes of being able to catch her new favorite TV show; she had a bottle of sake in her right hand. What else was new?
What was different, however, was the fact that Kitsune's quality time was cut short when she found out that Keitaro and Su were using the TV at this time, and that they were also using the VCR. Keitaro noticed her standing there with a dumb look in her face and put the tape on pause; a small pulling sound in the VCR indicated that the tape was paused and a still image was now laced on the TV.
"What is it, Kitsune?" Keitaro asked, hoping in vain to get a decent answer.
"You're hogging the TV." Kitsune pouted as an answer. Her whining was cut surprisingly short when she saw the image on the TV. "Wait a second." She looked at the TV even closer. "That's our house. Were you making a home video?"
"No. This is a video sent to us by mail."
"Interesting. Now who would want to tape little old us?"
"Don't know." Keitaro went back to press play and the image on the TV began to move. The video displayed on screen was just the Hinata House, but the camera was being a bit shaky; whoever was holding it must have been nervous for some reason. There was practically no sound in the video, either, so it was all dead silence and seemingly just one man taping the Hinata House just sitting there. The silence from the TV became contagious and spread all over the living room; Keitaro and the others were dead silent as they were focusing harder on the video, hoping to spot something.
"This is boring!" Kitsune complained, breaking off the silence in a heartbeat. "I'm missing my favorite TV show."
"Hold on a little more, Kitsune." Keitaro replied as he turned to look at her. That was when he noticed something. "Isn't that an expensive brand of sake you're holding?"
"Yeah. So, what of it?"
"Who'd you con, Bill Gates?"
"Don't kid yourself. But I'm not telling you how I got to afford this."
"Right." Keitaro sighed. Then, they heard something on the TV. They quickly turned to see that on the video, the Hinata House has received a huge hole, courtesy of our favorite landlord. Keitaro rewound it and played that last two seconds again. He saw himself flying straight out of the house like a cruise missile gone out of control. "The guy just wanted to tape me being tossed-"
He was cut off by what sounded like a male voice on the TV. "She hit him!" The camera was shaking more violently than ever and the man holding it was now running down the endless flight of stairs. He continues speaking as he ran down, words and sentences breaking off because of the panting. "The beast…has stricken…I'm going to asses the damage dealt…to Urashima-san…. She really is…a monster." The panting continued even after he ran down the stairs and found Keitaro, lying on the pavement. Suddenly the video showed a semi running over him, followed by two more cars, a Hummer, and a runaway goat.
Keitaro saw this like it never happened to him.
The man holding the camera was catching his breath while the camera was aimed at the concrete that he was standing on. His shoes could be seen; they looked like black and white Converse sneakers. The man spoke, still catching all the breath that he could. "She doesn't…know this, does she? It's not…like she would care…anyway… If she receives this tape, then I have one thing to say to her…"
"Stop the tape, Su." Keitaro said. Su complied and pressed stop.
"It's about damn time!" Kitsune said. "Now I have the TV!" WOO-HOO!"
"Actually Kitsune, you are not to touch the TV while I'm gone."
"Why not?"
"Because Naru has to see this." And with that, Keitaro left and headed towards Naru's room.
(O)
"Naru should at least report this to the police and file a restraining order on someone." Keitaro said to himself as he was going up the steps and into the third floor. "What is the deal with these guys anyway? Just what do they hope to accomplish by stalking her and throwing all this crap at her? Do they want to change her?" He approached Naru's room. "And do I really look like that when I fly out of the Hinata House? I looked like a total jackass!" He was scratching his head furiously. The embarrassment was washing over him like a pail of water that was dumped over his head.
The door opened. Naru popped her head out, and she looked at Keitaro. When she saw him in his frustrated position, she tried not to laugh. "So what's up?"
Keitaro quickly turned from his comical anger pose to a dead serious mood. He quickly stared at her in the eyes. "Naru, you need to se something."
"Ok…" Naru trailed off at the "k"; Keitaro's sudden change in overtone surprised her for a second. The manager left and headed downstairs. Naru had to follow suit, to see what got him so concerned, and what forced him to change his mood so quickly. She also headed down the steps.
(O)
They went to the living room, only to see Kitsune watching her favorite show on TV. This got the manager irritated.
"Kitsune! Don't touch the TV!"
"It's a rerun, anyway." Kitsune walked a few feet away from the Television set. Keitaro approached it, changed it to channel three, turned on the VCR and pressed play. Naru could only watch in confusion. What is it that Keitaro wanted her to see? What made him revert to such a serious mood? Whatever it was, it was in that VCR, and it was about to play.
Naru focused all of her senses on the TV as the video was back on play. The voice of the man holding the camera from the video began to speak again. "If she receives this tape, then I have one thing to say to her…" He was still panting, but he was catching more breath, so the panting was not as frequent. He held one of the most ominous and longest ten second pauses the Hinata Housers ever had to go through. By this time, Motoko and Shinobu also joined in and started watching.
The man in the video finally spoke after the suspense virtually killed off most of the tenants. "I will pray to God for the day that you get what you deserve, bitch! You attack without any provocation, without any REAL reason! You make your own excuses and create the most frivolous motives for your transgressions and carry them out without second thought or a conscience, and look at the damage you cause! You don't even realize what you do to these people do you? It's not like you care, because you fulfilled your own false goals and you're just satisfied with your own objectives! What the hell kind of human would deal this kind of pain just from an accident? YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN-" The video suddenly turned to just the TV "snow", indicating that the recording has officially terminated, and quite early, because they tenants did not get a chance to get the whole speech, but they definitely got the idea.
"Was that why you lead me down here, to put me on a guilt trip?" Naru asked, suspecting Keitaro right away.
"No. I wanted to tell you that whoever is out there, you need to file a damn restraining order on him! NARU, THIS IS GETTING FREAKING OUT OF CONTROL!" Keitaro again was scratching his head in frustration.
"The batteries on his camcorder must've run out." Kitsune said, pointing out the obvious.
"Good." Motoko replied. "I couldn't stand any more of that rubbish. Let's just get out of here."
"Don't get too uptight about this, Keitaro." Naru said. "I don't need any damn restraining order. I have everything under control."
"You sure abut that?"
"Yes. I'm definitely sure. So don't get your ass jacked up about it. Trust me; it's all under control." She left the living room and headed upstairs.
"I hope to God you're right." Keitaro watched her leave, thoughts started dancing in his head. They formed a macabre ballet of possibilities about how much worse things would get and what future would be in store with Naru if this invisible squabble escalates into a full on conflict with whatever force was holding grudge against her. As the ballet dragged on within the confines of his mind, he grew more and more tense, as the dance started to advance into what seemed like the climax. He shut it all out of his head to close the performance short.
Even Su saw that Keitaro was not being his usual self today.
"You're not acting normal, Keitaro." Kitsune said.
"This is a problem, damn it!" Keitaro threw the others into a split-second shock. "I've seen cases like this before! They usually end with a serial killer coming in and stabbing you in the ass! Damn it! I don't want a serial killer to stab Naru in the ass!"
"That isn't going to happen." Motoko said, sighing in embarrassment for our strange-acting manager. "Rest assure, you have us to take care of things for you. Don't be such a tightwad; it isn't you."
Keitaro could only sigh in defeat and try to relax. Thoughts still have not gotten out of his head yet, so of course he was still a bit tense about this scenario. He was trying so hard to reassure himself that indeed things were okay here, but the feeling that something was wrong was just so much stronger. He sat down on a chair and started watching TV in attempt to get it all out of his head and just forget about it like it never happened at all.
(O)
Naru was walking up the steps to the third floor. Naru could not stand this situation right now, so she just wanted to go to her room, lie on her futon, and think it over. Since she had that planned out, she gave herself the okay to just go to her room. She opened her door, entered the room, and shut the door behind her quite firmly.
Naru jumped straight on to the futon. She hugged her pillow and bore her face in it; she put herself very deep in thought. Maybe she should agree with Keitaro and put a restraining order or something. Then again, she always had her own methods of dealing with stalkers, but that would just encourage the guy to keep blabbing on what a "monster" she is.
She closed her eyes so she could better focus on the scenario at hand. She realized then that maybe her signature monster punch was not the answer this time. She began to search for a more logical, and cleverer answer to end the problem. At the same time, she was wondering who the guy behind the camera was. All she knew was that his voice was kind of girly for a man and that he wore blue denim jeans and black and white Converse sneakers. Then, out of nowhere, a shocking revelation virtually electrocuted Naru in the heart. It was a theory that hit her on the head like a brick that fell from the sky; she had just one guess of who was responsible for this, but it was enough to throw her off of the futon and launch her down the steps.
(O)
"Shinobu?" Keitaro asked, as he just entered the kitchen. "What's for dinner tonight?"
"Not sure. I was so fixated on the video tape that I forgot all about dinner. I'll have to think on the fly."
"Think, Shinobu! Think!" Su demanded, as she already started growing increasingly hungry. "Think, Shinobu! Think!"
"Calm down, Su!" Shinobu retorted, irritated over Su's impatience. "Maybe Beef Sukiyaki?" Suddenly, they heard a loud thud on the floor.
BAM!
The thump was loud enough to make everything else silent, as the tenants were forced to stop doing anything and see where the sound came from. It was not long until they figured out that Naru actually jumped down the stairs and landed on her feet, but she landed hard, creating a great earsplitting sound that resonated throughout the first floor of the Hinata House.
The first thing Naru did after she jumped down the steps, was give Keitaro the most furious, angriest demonic glare that she could possibly make. Whatever was wrong with her, Keitaro was for some reason the source of the problem. That, the tenants figured out quickly, so the rest of the girls looked at Keitaro accusingly, wondering what he could have possibly done to infuriate Naru this way.
Their answer came to them in no time flat.
"KEITARO! IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Naru roared furiously.
"What are you talking about?" Keitaro asked, now really intimidated by her outburst; it practically rendered him motionless.
"DON'T PLAY DUMB! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS WHOLE AFFAIR! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY EVERYONE'S STALKING ME! YOU TOLD THEM THIS BULLSHIT ABOUT ME!"
"Is that true, Urashima?" Motoko asked.
"No." It was all the manager wanted to say.
"DON'T LIE, KEITARO! YOU COULDN'T WITHSTAND ANYTHING AS SIMPLE AS A PUNISHMENT, SO YOU RESORTED TO REBELLION! IS THAT IT?"
Kitsune only kept quiet through the whole thing, thinking about Naru's outburst. Sure, she gets pretty angry, but not on this scale.
"What the hell do you mean?" Keitaro replied. "I thought the matter didn't bother you!"
"NOT BEFORE I FIGURED IT ALL OUT! KEITARO, AFTER ALL WE'VE DONE, YOU WENT AND BETRAYED ME!" Naru geared up and readied her steel fist for a massive assault. "DIPSHIT!" She socked him right on the cheek, practically firing him straight out of the foyer and straight into the front porch, but Keitaro suddenly crashed into a crowd of people, who happened to be stationed in front of the building; the people helped slow down his fall, so he only landed in the middle of the "endless" flight of steps. The crowd looked at the lying mound of flesh that was Keitaro and looked back at Naru, who was now standing in front of the apartment complex.
Naru only wondered what was going on here. Why would a small crowd of people visit the Hinata House? She asked, as was natural. "You guys want something?"
"You're Narusegawa Naru right?" A brunette with her hair in two ponytails inquired.
"Yeah. Why?"
"Apologize to him, now. You had no reason to hurt him like that."
"He's the one who brought that stupid stalker over to my house!"
"Actually, I started it." The other girl said back to her. "That was my boyfriend who recorded that footage, and it was ME who sent that tape to you. You didn't see it, did you?"
"Yeah, I saw it, but that speech was total fabrication. I merely punished him for his actions. He needs to learn not to try anything that pornographic."
"YOU'RE DENSE!" The girl's glasses were reflecting from the sunlight, attaining a demonic glow from it. "You have the mental capacity of a retarded squirrel hopped up on smack!"
"Who are you calling dense?" Naru was obviously insulted by her remark. "It was merely a defensive mechanism."
"Punishment or self-defense?"
"He did something perverted, so there is to be retribution."
"I say it's none of the above. No one deserves that kind of punishment. NO ONE! Are you even human?"
"Of course I am." Naru was getting increasingly frustrated. "Humans do this to others all the time. Why am I so special?"
"Special?" The girl chuckled bitterly, the demon light still reflecting from her glasses. "You're different because of how monstrously powerful you are. That kind of strength isn't human. And you continuously use it on him, like he's your punching bag. I say you take enjoyment in obliterating this man from the inside, as well as out."
"Enjoy it? What do you take me for?"
"A MONSTER! Not only do you deal punishment physically, but you also play with his emotions! You pretend you actually care for him, but once he gets in close enough, you spring out your trap and kick him in the teeth! Either that, or you just dis him. Face it: you're an abuser! Add to it your power isn't even human. You can't be after all the shit you've done to him!"
"You're after me because I'm different? Because I'm a little stronger than your average man doesn't make me a monster! That's just hatred of something because you fear it, and you fear it because you don't understand! And I'm not one to hurt Keitaro without provocation!"
"From the looks of it, you are. And don't tell us what we do or do not understand. If anything, you don't understand what's going on here! You don't understand Urashima-san's feelings at all do you? You don't feel any remorse for the pain that you deal to him! You don't care how much you hurt him, as long as your sick objectives are complete, you're satisfied. Nothing more, nothing less! You don't know nor do you care what he has to go through!"
At this time, Keitaro walked up the steps to witness what was happening at the top of the steps. He saw the crowd standing around Naru. He was behind them, but he could sense their hostility towards her; it was glowing a brilliant scarlet. He was able to hear what was being said. He was sympathetic seeing Naru in her state, but at the same time was also surprised that someone was actually defending him. The feeling of satisfaction from knowing this, and the side of him that wants to help out Naru were now engaged in a dogfight with one another, and it grew fierce all too quickly.
A man stood beside the four-eyed girl. "I'm surprised he didn't go apeshit on you yet."
After he heard that, Keitaro froze in his tracks. Naru was also stunned from this. Would our kind manager go crazy on her one day, suddenly betraying her, and leaving the Hinata residents for dead?
"That further proves how ungrateful you are." The girl in glasses continued. "He was just trying to keep things in check, I bet, and you had to complicate things for him. I hope he's just playing around with you, and when the time comes, he turns on you, like you always did to him God knows how many damn times!"
Another chord was struck in Naru's nervous system, and this one made a nice and long vibration. Her fear that Keitaro might hurt her back has now intensified a hundred fold. Her emotions have now gone out of control, causing her mind to reach a nuclear meltdown, but not quite there yet. However, she still knew one thing that would reassure her. "Keitaro isn't like that. You should know damn well he's a happy-go-lucky kind of person. He would never become the monster you hope to be."
Keitaro took this into account. He was hoping that would end the little squabble.
"After going through the crap he did," the girl replied. "Any guy would. Men have short tempers, and his just might be running short. He should break up with you now, actually. I wonder why anyone would ever love you!"
That was it. Her mind finally reached meltdown. And with a force greater than the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings combined, Naru's rage exploded in a brilliant crimson mushroom cloud, as she shouted just a couple more sentences to end it all.
"I HAVE JUST ABOUT FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOU! WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?"
To be continued
On the Next Blondie Strikes Back…
Communicability
How did it get down to this? Let us turn the hands of time back a few revolutions. Let us travel back seven days, where the bashings first started. Watch it spread throughout Hinata faster than a shockwave, like an atom bomb was dropped in the center of the town.
-GYRAX