This is a fic that I created in the time of me waiting and hoping that I could find the one I was waiting for. So many times we go through a time where we are so desperate to find that special someone that we rush through things. Sometimes when we have found that one person in our lives that we want to love, they are often to busy with other things. It's times like this that cause our brains to run wild with imagination. This is the result of my own desperation.
This is written out of my own true feelings. The action taken in this are of my own real life. The screen name (bluekingdragon3) is real. It is my own SN. If you wish to contact me, go ahead. I have gone over this fic, but of course we are not all perfect, so errors are to be expected. If this is turned into a chapter story, that I'm not sure of. But as of now, this is a one shot. If I get enough requests, I might turn it into a chapter fic. I also understand that it might be slightly confusing, seeing as how it's in a mid relationship, but please enjoy this work of fanfiction regardless. Please enjoy and review. Thank you.
Mariku-san
MISSING
written by Mariku-san
lyrics by Evanescence. Song: "Missing"
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
The timid figure of a boy that went by the name of Ryou was sitting on the couch, his feet curled in as his arms were used as a pillow of sorts for his head. He held himself close as he fought back tears that were screaming to be let free. His eyes stung and burned like acid on his flesh from the crying he did before. His body shook from the cold in the room and from the tears that racked his frame. He couldn't control himself any longer. It was just getting too hard to hold back, it was getting to hard to hold it all in. Even the strong must release the tension, right?
His lifted his head up to quickly glance at his watch. The black and orange watch was the first thing that Ryou was able to buy with the burdens of hospital bills out of the way. The time read 2:14 am on December 6th, Tuesday. How many days have gone by since the brown eyed boy last spoke to his other half? How long has it been since he heard the words that every couple whisper to the other? How long has it been since he was in the arms of his lover? Too long, at least for him.
Shifting his weight so that he could move without hurting himself, Ryou pulled out of his pocket a small Nokia 6010, checking to see if he missed any calls. Full bar of battery and full bar of signal. But no missed calls. He checked in the menu, to see if maybe he got one, but over looked it. Nothing. The last person he spoke to on the phone was Yugi, and that was yesterday. Emptiness began to fill Ryou in a way that hasn't happened in over a year. He sighed, lowering his head back down. He wasn't going to cry anymore. He was tired of crying. Only the weak cry. Ryou mentally pushed back tears, telling himself over and over again that he wasn't going to cry.
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Looking out the window, Ryou saw the first fall of snow this month. It fell gently and looked like angel tears; perfectly shaped and different as can be. Just as a snowflake should be. He laughed and smiled with joy. A happiness over took Ryou as he thought back on the few inches of snow that might cover the mansion grounds if it continued to snow. How fun would it be to take Mokuba out along with Seto to the small park that Ryou and his family would visit when he was younger? It would be perfect, or at least Ryou thought it would be.
But thoughts of Seto being at work plagued him. Yes, Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp., the leading company on the latest game technology. It was amazing all the ideas that came out of that place, and it was amazing on all the ideas that came from the people that worked there and from the great mind of a one Seto Kaiba.
Ryou sighed heavily. He didn't know what to do anymore. He tried calling, he tried e-mailing. He tried Instant Message. He asked his friend Yugi to talk to him. But nothing. Nothing seemed to get through to Seto. Ryou curled up in his bed, hugging his knees to his chest once more. A silent tear went down his cheek, the warm water a nice contrast against the cold pale skin. He was cold, especially in the winter. It was the first week in December and already Japan was getting cold.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
"Maybe I should get some rest. Maybe he'll come home during the night. Well morning," Ryou sighed as he stopped himself from talking. He was beginning to lose trust in his own words, afraid that they might give him hope that his lover would come home soon. Softly and slowly his feet dragged him off of the cold couch and into the warmly lit bedroom that he and Seto shared the nights that work did not keep the two apart.
He pulled off the cold covers, untouched by many nights. Ryou often slept in the study, using the cot that Seto had put in there on the nights he didn't care to be in the room. The shy albino often found comfort in that room. It smelled of Seto and that brought peace to the little brown eyed teen. He just needed something of Seto's to pass the empty nights.
"Good night, Seto. Wherever you are," Ryou whispered softly, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. Pulling over the covers as he curled up, a dew of a tear fell from his big brown eyes as he closed them. Hopefully rest would come easier for him. Dreaming of his seme, the little one tossed and turned, never fully resting; his thoughts to obsessed with finding his missing lover.
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
Reluctantly, Ryou sat up in his bed and walked back over to his computer desk; sleep just wouldn't stay. A candle, yellow in it's colour was melting in a small silver pot, it's design similar to that of an orange blossom. The candle was scented and it smelled of mango and of papaya, Seto's favourite fruits. The flame danced within the small container and Ryou watched, his big brown eyes interested in the dance of fire.
The nights were slowly becoming more colder. Each night Ryou would fall asleep to his bed being empty and he would wake up with it the same way. The big mansion of a house was becoming more and more cold as the days went by. School wasn't the same. It just didn't hold Ryou's interest as it once did.
His large eyes closed for a moment, a small hot tear falling down his white skin. He wiped the remains of it away and logged onto his laptop that Seto bought him for his birthday. It was a nice event, even though seto couldn't stay long. But as long as he was there for a little while, ryou didn't care. Plus seto made up afterwards at home. It was a nice the timid albino wouldn't forget.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Finally after a moment, Ryou's name was logged in. His desktop background was of him and seto. Mokuba took the picture while Seto wasn't looking. Ryou laughed at the expression on Seto's face. It was one of confusion, anger and happiness, all rolled up into one. Many would have mistaken that face for one of rage, but only Mokuba and Ryou knew that it had a different meaning.
He sighed in a slight depression but with ease took the laser mouse in his hand and double clicked the AOL icon. Quickly, it began to hum and within seconds, Ryou was online. His AOLInstantMessanger logged in and his buddy list was shown. Seto's screen name was logged on. It was odd, seeing as how Seto was suppose to be at work, but perhaps the CEO was taking a break and had the hopes of seeing Ryou online. With a happy smile upon his face, Ryou clicked on Seto's SN and began typing.
DuelGamer6: Hello Zen! hugs you tightly.
Ryou waited for Seto to reply back, a smile still on his face. But after 5 minutes had passed, the smile slowly turned into one of sadness and confusion. But once more he tried again.
DuelGamer6: Seto? Are you there? Hello? Seto-san? looks around for you
AUTO RESPONSE FROM BLUEKINGDRAGON3: Sorry. Not here. Doing work. Or I'm in a meeting. Or I'm at home. Either way, I'm doing something that's more important than talking to you.
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something?
Ryou sighed. He closed the AIM window and then he logged off of the internet. He logged off the computer and then closed it. He closed his eyes and held back the tears that he felt were already beginning to form in his brown eyes. Sniffing as he sat up of the chair he walked slowing over to the bed that he and seto once use to share. Now it was only cold and empty as Seto was often at work.
Ryou covered himself with the leopard print blanket that he and Seto once use to share and laid his head down on the soft feather pillow. He took the flat cotton pillow that Seto often slept on and held it close to his body. Soft sobs were whimpered out through the night as a small boy with silver white hair and dark brown eyes cried himself to sleep, wondering what his boyfriend was doing if it wasn't work. More importantly, if it wasn't work Seto was doing, WHO was seto doing? And was it someone that Ryou knew?
"No, I shouldn't get those thoughts in my head. It's not right. He loves me. He wouldn't cheat on me. I know it." Ryou wanted to believe that Seto was loyal. He HAD to believe. But sometimes the mind won't let that faith follow through. But deep inside the teen knew that Seto was out doing something that was work related. He had to. Seto didn't have time to cheat. He didn't have enough time for his family at home.
A light creak at the door caused Ryou to sit up, still holding the pillow. His giant eyes lit up in excitement, hoping that it was who he thought it was. "Seto?"
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
FIN