12

DiZ

Another sunny afternoon. Comfortable, even for someone like me. I must admit, fashion probably wasn't my thing, I had my white and blue robe on, the red bandage mask, and a red cape on, in public nonetheless I was attracting a few gazes no doubt. The only encouragement I'd recieved was that the red bandage matched well with the orange eyes. I was still trying to figure out what to tell Ms. Lalia.

I had learned a few things about my past. I was once someone known as "Ansem", a great leader among the people, revered, venerated for his virtues. Seemed too perfect for me, funny the way the universe works, no? I basically saw myself as two different people. And the more I could summon from within the waiting room of my memories, the more I became convinced I was actually right about that.

Ansem had been studying creatures called "Heartless", those without hearts. He had created Heartless by destroying the hearts of his own people, and synthetic heartless with some kind of machine. He had also used the materials known as "gummis" to build a ship to leave his world, and perhaps learn about Heartless on other worlds. And this thing that a king had called a "key", something connected with the Heartless. I was in the process of unraveling the memories that were still after that time. Was a dead form of this Ansem? Had he been killed in some kind of accident? Or by the Heartless? Too many specualtions, each with a hundred different theories and a hundred pieces of evidence for each.

But my most frightening piece of evidence as it were, was Ansem's shift in goals. He hadn't seen it at the time, but when he started, he studied the Heartless and the darkness for the light, prevent them from causing a disaster on his world, to save his people. But in the recent, closer memories, the ones I had just unlocked, Ansem seemed to be equally fascinated by the darkness within the Heartless. I wondered what more unravelling would reveal, and whether or not I should share the results with Ms. Lalia.

But I also accquired Ansem's understanding of the light and darkness. Personally, I had to say to myself, why choose? Both were redeemible in my eyes. The light gave you inner power, kept you independent, the light was what truly seperated you from the Heartless. But the darkness was just as interesting. It was a source of power for the body. It required discipline to wield, that was true, but if you could unlock its power and not be consumed by it, I theorized you would probably be the most powerful being in the world. Maybe Ansem had arrived at the same conclusion, maybe that was why he had taken a sudden interest in the darkness. I didn't really know, I couldn't read the thoughts of the memories, only the actions, like watching a movie screen.

This new concept of the light and darkness I hadn't had before intrigued me, so I spent some time these days at the local social areas, trying to find those with...similar philisophical views on the subject. I had met two people that did, we spent a deal of time talking about it. Our little clique had a general consensus: neither the darkness nor the light could claim ultimate superiority. True, they had dominant places in certain situations, but never has one seen the same situation twice.

Oddly enough I no longer felt as protective a need to watch over Ms. Lalia and Jora these days. I had seen the strength that became Ms. Lalia, and knew she could fend for herself. Though still, I had found a small place in which I could now live out my days in peace and study, I still checked in every now and then on her. And she, in her ever-lasting concern, still interrogated me at times about my memory. Some of these latest developments I hadn't shared, but she did know I was once an "Ansem", but she said there was no such being she knew of. Our joint conclusion was that, perhaps, in some miracle, I was of another world. I asked around, seeing if other towspeople had heard of an "Ansem", but no one did. My friends and I had spent some time on this, but our usual debates of the light and dark were so much more interesting, I wanted to stay focused on those.

It was only that night, as I was resting my eyes, trying to get to sleep, that I found myself untangling memories once again. And I ran across one that almost frightened me.

Ansem had offered his heart to the Heartless, to become pure darkness.

And tracing back to another memory, Ansem had written, when one does such a thing, the body must be cast aside.

I was Ansem's shell.