AN: Ok...here's the next chappie...it's kinda mean since Kouga is the victim here...and Kikyo's high school character is brought into more perspective...But hey! At least it's better than inu being the victim! (Although devl41 really thought it should be...it's just...well, u'll see...)

And for my new story...two sides of a oneway mirror...I had suuccchhh a good start on it, but I'm already having my problems, so yeah...I'll work on it after I post this.

Crazy Bits!

By Crystaltears41090

Chapter 4-I love you!-NOT!

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Kikyo sat on her couch at home with her new boyfriend, Kouga. He had soft black hair tied in a ponytail and a pair of beautiful blue eyes. Kikyo was semi-slouching in her comfy spot on the couch with Kouga's head in her lap. She was feeding him grapes.

"You don't really love me," he said.

"Yes I do! Do you think I do this for everyone?"

"Kikyo...I've SEEN you do this with everyone."

"Oh...well." She shrugged and picked up a potato chip, putting it in her mouth.

There was a noise at the door.

"Oh crap! My family's home!" She began gathering all the food and such and arranging them on the kitchen counter.

"Ok, Kouga, I think it's time my family meets you!"

"Oh..." Kouga began hesitantly.

"Don't worry. The family will love you...well, except maybe dad...just don't sit in his spot and it'll be fine."

"Where's his spot?" Kouga asked nervously.

Kikyo walked back to the counter putting more food down, "Well...I don't really remember..."

Suddenly, the family came into the room.

Kikyo walked behind Kouga and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "Mom, Dad, this is Kouga."

Kaede immediately stepped up to greet him. Kouga took a seat on the couch. As Nobunga walked by, Kouga immediately sat up and lept out of the couch.

"This isn't your spot, is it sir?"

Nobunga looked at him, "Kid, this is my house. Everything's my spot."

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(later that night)

Kikyo walked Kouga out the door.

"Thanks for offering me some of that juice when we were in there Kik, my throat was getting really dry..."

"Kouga! I think my dad really likes you!"

Kouga walked Kikyo to a bench outside, "Never mind that Kikyo. I love you...and I want to ask you something."

"Yes Kouga?"

"I-I...no, you'll never..." he trailed off.

"Just tell me."

"Well, I want you to get a tattoo with my name on it."

"Where?"

"Anywhere! As long as it shows."

"Soooo...you mean, like, anywhere."

"Exactly."

"But my parents would KILL me! I can't!"

"Come on Kik! I'm getting one with your name on it!" Kouga gave her the best puppy face he could muster.

"Well—"

Kouga cut her off as he captured her lips in a passionate kiss.

They broke off and Kouga smiled at her.

"Ok."

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(Sunday)

"Kaede! You suck at baseball!"

"Oh Nobunga, it was CLOSE!"

Kikyo came up to her father. "Dad. I have something to ask you."

"It's not about sex is it? Cuz I know nothing about it."

"Oh, I know, mom told me. Don't worry daddy, it's not about sex."

"Ok, what is it?"

The pair sat down next to each other on the couch.

"Ok, dad, I'm gonna be totally honest with you. Let's say there's this girl, let's call her...Betty. So, she really likes this guy and he wants her to look a certain way for him. But she's not really sure if she wants to look this certain way—" Kikyo was about to continue when her dad interjected

"Kikyo, God separated the sexes. Don't ask me why..." Kikyo put her face in her hands...'Great...a speech?' "You see, he made women weak. Now there's nothing wrong with being a women, I'd rather be dead myself...But you see, why is it that it's always the girl that has to do something for the guy, instead of the guy doing something for the girl? But back to...Betty, as you call her, I don't think she should do this, especially if Betty, is my little girl."

"Awww, thank you daddy." Kikyo said sweetly and rested her head on her father's shoulder.

Her dad shrugged away in disgust, "Yeah Yeah..." Then he ran next to the stairs, "Kaede, get in the hall, we're gonna work on some of your grounders."

"Aw, Nobunga, I don't wanna!"

"Come on! I talked to Kikyo didn't I, and god knows I never wanna talk to her." Nobunga marched up the stairs to go drag Kikyo's mom down to practice some baseball so maybe next week they would win.

Kikyo made sure no one was around before rushing off to the phone on the counter. She pulled out a slip of paper and dialed the number on it.

"Hello? Is this Marvin's Tattoo Parlor? Yes, I'd like to set up an appointment for next Sunday..."

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(Next Sunday)

Nobunga marched through the door, fuming.

Kaede came in after him dragging a bag of baseball supplies. "I know, I know, I stink! But it was close!"

"Kaede...we lost to NUNS!"

Kaede marched up to her husband and put her hands on her hips, "I have never been more embarrassed in my life! In front of everyone, you told Sister Mary-Alice, 'Bless this, honey!'"

"I may not recognize all religious symbols, but I sure recognized the one she gave me," Nobunga called while walking toward the kitchen to grab a beer.

DING DONG!

"Well, I wonder who that could be."

Kaede walked to the door and open it. There in front of her stood a balding man with what was left of his black hair piled on his head. A skimpy mustache above his lip and piercing blue eyes stared at her. He wore a thick brown fake leather jacket and underneath he wore a polo t-shirt with jeans.

"Hi, Kaede."

"Um...hi..."

"You don't remember me, do you?"

She shook her head and laughed a little, "No"

"Let me give you a little hint, the night behind the aquarium."

Her face lighted up with a smile, "Oh! Craig!"

The man's smile faltered, "Uh, no..."

"Um...Ted!" Kaede tried to keep her smile in place.

"Uh...no..."

Her smile faltered again but she was still semi-smiling, "Rodrigo!"

"Uh, no."

"Oh, then you're gonna have to be a little more specific, hun"

"The name's Jimmy."

Kaede put another smile on and thought back 'Jimmy...hmmm, nope, didn't ring a bell'

But she pretended she remembered anyways, she didn't want to hurt his feelings, after all, "Oh! That aquarium. Well, come on in."

Jimmy stepped inside and looked around in wonder.

"Well, Jimmy, meet my husband, Nobunga. Nobunga, this is...Jimmy, from the aquarium."

Jimmy stepped forward and shook hands with Nobunga getting closer to whisper, "You are a lucky man, Nobunga."

"Heh, yeah right."

Kaede shot Nobunga a death glare and turned around directing a big smile at Jimmy, "Jimmy, sit down and make yourself comfortable."

Jimmy sat down.

"So, Jimmy, want a beer?"

"Oh? Sure!"

Kaede grabbed the open beer bottle that Nobunga was just about to put to his mouth and handed it to Jimmy. Nobunga made a face at his wife but got up wordlessly and headed back to the kitchen"So, Jimmy, what brings you around here after all this time?"

"Well, I always wondered what became of you, so I looked you up." He got up and looked around "Who ever thought you'd be living in such a nice big house like this. I mean, I've never even been a house like this."

Nobunga walked past Jimmy and faced him, "So, how'd you let this one get away?"

Jimmy chuckled a little, "Actually, she dumped me."

"EaH? (BTW: It's not meant to say 'Iie' it's supposed to be pronounced like 'yeah' without the y) What'd you do?"

"Nothin really. It was just before the sophomore dance, I had rented a tux, a car, bought flowers. I got to her house just in time to see her cute lil bottom pull off in the back of a harley."

"Lemme get this straight, you think this house is big, but her bottom is—"

"Nobunga, Jimmy is speaking! And I didn't dump you, I just went out the backdoor with a cuter guy, ya know how kids are." Kaede said nonchalantly.

"Yeah, yeah, I can laugh about that now. Huhhehheh..." It came out more like a squeaky machine, or a retarded duck, or SOMETHING... "She didn't realize it them, but she was the love of my life."

"Hehhehheh." Nobunga laughed as if Jimmy had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"See how lucky ya'are Nobunga?" His wife asked.

"See how lucky you are?" He responded.

"Ya know, that night, I was comin to take you to the dance, I had something special to show you." Jimmy made his way near the door. "Take a look at this."

He slipped off his fake leather jacket to reveal a tattoo of an arrow piercing a red heart with the name Kaede in it.

Kaede's eyes lit up and she rushed over to Jimmy, "Jimmy! I'm so flattered! Well, look at that, Nobunga, he has my name tattooed on his arm. You never did that."

"Well, maybe that's cuz I'm not insane like lord Jimbo over there." He sounded like he was really grossed out by Jimmy's actions and wanted him to leave...RIGHT AWAY!

"I'm going, I just wondered if you knew what it was like to go through your whole life with a tattoo of Kaede on your arm? I...I had to marry a girl named Kaede. A fat horse of a Kaede, you know, the type of woman who looks like she inhaled another woman. But, I guess we should all be grateful for what we have, ya know? I mean, you got a Kaede that's beautiful and fun. I got one that sleeps standing up. I can laugh about that now, though. Haah." He slowly made his way to the door. "Hey, we had fun in high school didn't we? Like the time I took you to that fancy restaurant and I put the roach in the food and we got our meal for free?" He beamed at her, as if recalling a dream.

"That's funny," Kaede said, "my daughter's dating a guy who did that."

Jimmy smirked, in a scary sort of way, "I know, that's my son. I can laugh about that now too." He opened the door and left two parents with a look of pure shock and horror in their eyes.

"Kaede, where's Kikyo?"

"I don't know, but I think she may be out with Kouga!"

"Oh that's greeaaat! My daughter's out with a spawn of Norman Bates and sea biscuit. I shoulda killed him when he drank my juice!"

"We better go find her."

Just as Kaede said that, the door opened. Look who's right on time: Lil bro Naraku to the rescue!

"Dad! I've got a good one, so good, I won't even charge you. Now guess where Kikyo is. Eliminate the obvious like the backseat, the bushed...jail. Now guess." A few seconds passed... "Ok, time's up. She's getting a tattoo."

Kaede turned dramatically towards her husband.

"Yup. I saw her and Kouga going to the tattoo parlor. They were testing her arm. Should I bring down your belt?"

"Nobunga, you gotta do something!"

Nobunga rushed over next to the closet and grabbed a baseball bat that had been conveniently laying (or is it lying?) around.

"Ooooo! This is much better than a belt!"

"I'm gonna go stop Kikyo, then I'm gonna go find ole Jimbo and knock one outta the park! Now where's this tattoo parlor?"

"It's the one next to the night club that says 'Girls, Girls, Girls.' Now you go down—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know where it is."

He flew out the door still holding the baseball bat in a death grip.

As soon as the door had closed, Naraku ran up the stairs.

"Naraku, where are you going?"

"I'm moving my stuff into my dead sister's room." He answered grinning like a madman.

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(Later)

Kikyo walked through the door looking like she was in a fowl mood. A few steps into the house, she heard, "Kikyo...show me your arm."

"Who spotted me?"

A "dum dum dum dum duuum" tune could be heard from upstairs and a pile of Kikyo's clothes came flying down the stairs.

"Hey! Those are my clothes!"

"Never mind that, Kikyo. Now show me your arm."

"Oh mom, I didn't get the tattoo. See, on the way to the tattoo parlor, Kouga told me the whole story and a funny thing happened; we really did fall in love and we both decided to get tattooed."

"But...you realized how upset me and your father would get."

Kikyo stared at her mother like she'd gone crazy then shook her head nonchalantly, "No...ya see, when Kouga was getting his tattoo, I saw...the cutest guy and we fell in love! So...I went outside and we drove away in his Dominoes' pizza truck together. I mean, mom, this is the real thing!"

"Ah, Kikyo...you really are turning into a fine young woman."

The two headed over to the couch and sat down, crossing their legs simultaneously.

"Yeah, and now, both those geeks have tattoos."

They laughed and Kaede suddenly stopped. "Well, I kinda feel sorry for Kouga; he's gonna have to go through his whole life with a tattoo of 'Kikyo' on his arm."

A moment of silence...

"Oh well, as long as we're happy!"

Kikyo leaned her head on Kaede's shoulder, "You know mom? I feel closer to you than ever."

Kaede shrunk away from her, "Honey! My hair!"

A sound from upstairs that sounded like a clothes drawer being pulled out of a room.

Kikyo looked up, "Excuse me mom." And she ran up the stairs to kill her lil bro.

A moment later, the door opened to reveal the angry father with the baseball bat. He plopped down next to his wife. "Well, good news. I went to the tattoo parlor, Kikyo didn't get the tattoo."

"I know. Kikyo told me. Did you find Jimmy?"

"Yeeahhh. I followed Kouga to his house and I was gonna knock off Jimmy's head when She came out of the kitchen. Kaede, Her face was in a jello mold; she was wearing a muumuu, but it had to be slit so she could fit into it. I mean, I thought the least I could do was let him live." His head towards his now suddenly looking sooo beautiful wife, "Kaede, have I ever told you how beautiful ya are?"

"Oh, Nobunga!"

The two sat on the couch and shared a kiss.

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AN: So.........how'd ya like it? Review please...maybe...