With Or Without You
Part Five
Chas entered the BZR building and had found it surprisingly easy. There were no guards around, any security. Finding the BZR building had proved just as easy, all he had to do was follow the yellow brick road and the signs that said, in bright, bold neon lights, "THE VILLAIN IS HERE! FIVE MILES UP THE ROAD!" Chas was thankful for that and he strolled into the building and hoped that it was going to be just as easy to get John back.
He looked around, never knowing if some scum was waiting behind a darkened corner. But he had to admit, though not freely, that this place frightened him. Even though the place had looked thoroughly modern, it was the paintings on the walls that had set him on edge. The first one was of Balthazar dressed in stiletto heels, complete with a white feather boa draped around his neck. Then there was another one of him with Rupert Everett and Rufus Wainwright at some strange sort of bar but then, there was another that frightened him the most. In the center of the hallway, there was a picture of dogs playing poker. There was nothing that said so evil like dogs playing poker. Seeing such filth made Chas even more determined.
Chas felt a creeping feeling, the same sort of feeling that one got hanging around a dirty old man
who lived in a van and offered candy to kids. He had the sneaking suspicion that he had eyes on him and he looked around. Was it a demon from the underworld ready to take him to his doom? Was it one of Balthazar's henchmen going to make him jump on the good foot and do the bad thing? Well, no but what he did get was a shower of bullets, that he dodged like Neo from "The Matrix."
Angela stood at the very front of the hallway, holy shotgun in hand and a smirk on her face. She tilted her head back and let out a malicious laugh, one very reminiscent of her boss. "Mr. Kramer, we meet again," she said.
"I thought you were dead," Chas said, staring defiantly at her, his eyes filled with steel.
"Ah but the villain does not die! Have you ever seen "Friday The 13th" or "Halloween?" I was resurrected to finish the job! MWAHAHAHAHA!" she cackled and then shot off another load of bullets.
Chas was very pissed off, pissed off like Yosemite Sam when Bugs Bunny got one over him. He summoned his dragon strength and let out a fierce "Xena" cry. He pulled his legs back and did the fighting move that Liu Kang did in "Mortal Kombat." He knocked Angela down to the ground and took the gun away from her. She looked up at him with doe eyes, pleading.
"Please don't hurt me, Mr. man! I'm sorry; I'll never do it again!" Angela cried.
"Well, I have one question for you," Chas said as he prepared his gun. "Do you feel lucky? Huh, do you punk?" he asked and then popped a cap in her ass. This time, she was really dead, for sure.
But before Chas could think, out came some of Balthazar's demon henchmen. They were glittery, they were shiny, they had perfect eyeliner and dazzling red lips. They were the drag queen contingent of Hell that served Balthazar like a king. Chas smirked at them, reloaded his gun and gestured with his hand to bring it on.
The henchmen came after him and sequins were flying, It was fight to rival a Bruce Lee movie. Chas had spent twelve years in China, learning karate from a well-known master by the name of Mr. Miyagi. Chas whipped their asses and he felt like a man, a very brave and kick-ass man. But, before Chas, could rebound on one of the demonic queens, he was caught. He was caught in a fishnet lasso that stripped him of his powers.
"I feel… so… weak," Chas grunted.
"Now, Mr. Kramer, we'll show you to our leader. Won't that be just fabulous?" the queen crooned and skipped downstairs with Chas in tow.
Balthazar was waiting downstairs, twiddling his fingers and smirking maliciously. There was nothing like smirking. It made one feel eviill… Which he knew he did so well. He was the Michael Jordan of evil, he was the Bill Gates of evil and he was the Fonz of evil. He would have let out a cackle but he saw the henchmen bringing down Chas. So, he smirked, knowing that this was going to over and done with.
"Ah, Mr. Kramer, we meet at last," Balthazar said.
"Let John go, you foul fiend!" Chas cried out.
"No, I don't think I will. John belongs to me, you see. Completely to me," Balthazar said and he had thought what the hell, he let out a MWAHAHAHA!
"No one belongs to you," Chas replied.
"Well, since I am the evil guy here, I will tell you my nefarious plan and give you a way out of this and save the day. It was in my book, so I have to do it. Well, on the night that John had taken your virginity, I came in, stealthily and snatched him from you. From that time on, I put him my favorite fashion accessory and had him dance for me. But then, I realized, that wasn't getting the job done. I brainwashed him with my mind-warping machine and now, he's this glorious creature you see before you," he said and with a clap of the hands, out came John. John crawled on all fours, meowing and playing with a ball of string.
"NO!" Chas cried out.
"YES!" Balthazar cried out. "You see, he is now mine, he's my little kitten, so neener!"
Chas bit his lip and he was not about cry in front of this monster. Balthazar had caused such things as pollution, war, famine and death but this was far worse. He saw his beloved, no better than a small kitten, helpless, defenseless and playing with string. Chas felt like he was like dying inside, all he hoped now was that John could find a way back to him.
"John… John… I'm still here, your Chassy Bear is here," Chas whispered, soothingly.
"Meow," John replied.
"You monster, I won't let you get away with this!" Chas challenged.
"Oh but I already have. Now, Fanny, tie him to that hook hanging above this," Balthazar said and then waved his hand to reveal a tank full of sharks with laser beams attached to their heads.
"OH NOES! Sharks with laser beams attached to their heads!" Chas cried out.
Fanny the cross-dressing henchmen tied Chas to the hook and then, Balthazar pressed a button. The hook lowered slowly over the opened pool, so slowly that Chas saw slugs race by, turtles speed across and two presidential elections take place. But, Balthazar cackled some more.
But the strangest thing had happened. John snapped out his stupor and saw the situation and it made him boil with anger.
"NO MORE!" John said and he grabbed the holy shotgun but stared at it very quizzically. He didn't know how to fire it.
Balthazar looked at this situation and he knew that the jig was up. He squealed like a little girl and ran away, his hands going limp and flailing about like a dead fish. He ran and pressed another button and ran into a special, secret place. It was the place where his space-ship, shaped like a smiley-face, lied in wait. He got inside and pressed the ignition buttons. The boosters blazed and he knew soon, he was heading to space, to wait and plot for another day.
John looked at Chas with a sigh and they both knew that this event in their life was over.
Two Days Later
Chas was sitting in the apartment and he felt John's arms wrapped around him, holding him tight. John lacquered kisses on his neck and squeezed his bottom. Today was perfect, they had spent the day baking cakes, singing songs and hugging, there was a ton of hugging. Then there was hand-holding and picking out where they were going to have their wedding gift registry at. It was perfect.
"John?" Chas asked.
"Yes, sugar-dumpling?" John asked.
"Will we always be together?" Chas asked again.
"Always," John said and silenced him with a sweet kiss.
And they lived happily ever after.
Meanwhile, in dark cold bowels of space.
The smiley-faced space-ship floated silently and Balthazar cackled as he glared maliciously at the earth. Someday soon, he was going to come back to Los Angeles, to finish the job he had started.
"MWAHAHA!" he cackled and then sailed on.
The End