Author's note: Sorry I haven't updated! I finished this shortly after I
came home from Italy (which was absolutely beautiful!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna
visit Rome, Capri and Taormina, Sicily again!!!!) July 4, but everything's
been very chaotic since I came home and I've been immersed in a Harry
Potter obsession...which has lead me to writing yet another fanfic... but I did
drop the Shaman King one I was working on a while ago. As for edits... I went
through everything in this story and I know what edits I will be making,
especially the mistakes I've made with which characters don't or do know
each other and the Dan levels. So chapters one through three should be
replaced within the next two weeks. crosses fingers As always, thanks
for all the reviews!!! You guys are great! Oo... and every once in a while, I
mention my fanfictions on my xanga, so if you ever wanna read my thoughts
on the future of this story:
And if you wanna e-mail me about something:
I hope you'll enjoy this chapter...
Disclaimer: Ehhh... read previous disclaimers. It's all the same.
Chapter 5- Emotions
Akari woke up early the next morning, just around seven. As she rolled onto her side to look out her window, she realized that although she had managed to stay asleep the whole night, it had been a dreamless sleep, which she hadn't had in a long time. And that wasn't a good thing. Pushing her unruly hair away from her face, she frowned, feeling that today would be an awful one, to say the least. After forcing herself out of bed, she walked towards her desk, absent-mindedly brushing the tangles out of her hair with a comb. While her mind drew into a blank, her eyes caught notice of her blue skirt, which was limply hanging on her chair.
Memories of last night began to floor her head. Akari put her comb on her desk and stared at her wall as the images went through her mind. Suddenly, the phone rang loudly through the house. Akari picked it up quickly.
"Hello?"
"Akari? Good morning!" her friend Meiru's voice greeted on the phone.
"Good morning to you too, Meiru," Akari answered skeptically, wondering why Meiru was calling so early.
"I called your house around nine last night, but no one answered," Meiru started, almost as if expecting an explanation.
Akari's face reddened; she and Hikaru were still out at that time. "....Nine last night?" she asked shakily, trying to stall while she thought up an excuse. Even though they had never met Hikaru, Meiru and Sakura disliked him for how he had been to her in the past.
"Yes Akari, nine last night. You're always either at home or the library, and the library closed at seven last night.......... Are you hiding something from us?" Meiru asked impatiently.
"Akari? Who's that on the phone?" Hikaru's sleepy voice spoke from the door. Akari had no doubts that Meiru had heard him. "A friend," she mouthed. Understanding what she said, Hikaru nodded and disappeared back down the hall and stairs.
Seeing he left, Akari returned her attention to Meiru on the phone. "Meiru... before anything else, I just want to make something clear..."
"That was Hikaru, wasn't it?"
"Meiru, please try to understand..."
"No! You listen to me! You have enough going on in your life, and messing around with him will only make things more complicated. If it were another guy, then I say fine. But not him."
Akari frustratedly rubbed her head. "But I never told you the good things about him."
"That's besides the main points. Hikaru Shindou, the internationally recognized Go player from Japan... does he ring a bell? He's been gaining a lot of publicity lately."
"Yeah, but there were no cameras or photographers following us around... anyway, can I call you back later? Hikaru and I are going to the Go Institute soon."
Meiru was silent for a few moments.
"Fine." Then Meiru hung up.
Frowning at her friend's sudden rudeness, Akari hung up as well. After brushing her hair a bit more, Akari went downstairs only to see Hikaru sprawled on the couch sleeping again.
"Don't you have to be at the Go Institute?" she said out loud, heading towards the kitchen. Akari heard Hikaru stir awake again.
"I don't have to leave for another hour," Hikaru answered groggily as he got up and walked over to the kitchen.
"Did you sleep well last night?" she then asked in a hasty business-like tone, avoiding his gaze and rummaging through the kitchen looking for something to eat.
"Mine was fine. But I have a feeling yours wasn't. You're acting weird...what's wrong?" he asked, starting to worry.
"Nothing's wrong...you're always asking if something's wrong," Akari complained, walking towards the kitchen table with a jar of peanut butter in her right hand.
"I feel like I have to... because it pains me when I watch you not being yourself," Hikaru confessed, looking down at the floor. "Does what I said make sense at all?" he muttered.
Akari paused what she was doing. Hikaru had just said something rather sweet. What was the right way to respond to that? She looked at Hikaru timidly, although he was still looking down at the floor.
"That was a really sweet thing you just said."
She went over to give him a hug. "I'm sorry about what I said...I really am."
Hikaru heard the sincerity and remorse in her voice and drew her closer. He gazed into her eyes, which seemed to be glowing a soft brown. Hikaru moved to stroke her hair. "You're forgiven."
"Well...isn't this a cozy sight."
Hikaru broke his gaze from Akari to find out who had just spoken. Akari's eyes darted over to the kitchen entrance, seeing her sister standing there with a smirk on her face.
"Good morning, Miyuki. How was dinner last night?" Akari said, breaking away from Hikaru and walking over to her sister.
A pleased smile spread on Miyuki's face. "It was an unforgettable night...one of the best nights I've had in a long time. And how about you two?" she asked as she gave her little sister a hug.
"It was fine here; Akari stayed in her room and I slept on the couch... nothing really eventful happened."
Miyuki's dress rustled as she pushed Akari away in surprise. "You two didn't do anything special last night?"
Hikaru stepped forward and took hold of Akari's hand. Looking at Miyuki, he firmly shook his head. "No. Nut I'm taking Akari to the Go Institute soon, so, if you will excuse us..." Hikaru, still grasping Akari's hand, left the kitchen quietly and went upstairs to Akari's room. Miyuki silently leaned on one of the walls as she watching her sister and Hikaru leave.
"I was so sure..." she said softly.
Twenty minutes later, Hikaru and Akari were at the subway station waiting for the subway that would take them to the Institute. Hikaru looked down at Akari who was taking a look at a poster with a list of subway stops around Tokyo and nearby towns. 'That's right; Akari rarely uses the subway,' he realized with a smile. Hikaru walked over to where Akari was and pointed out two marks on the map. "It's a three mile trip to the Institute; we'll be at our stop in about fifteen minutes," he informed her.
Akari nodded. "So, who's playing today?"
"Isumi Shinichiro 2-Dan vs. Hana Hayuno 4-Dan. Both of them are nineteen years old and are trying to qualify for a professional competition for players aged 18-23; it's just like the Hokuto Cup except for the next age group. Isumi's one of my good friends from since I was an insei, so my friends and I...and you...are going to watch the game to give him support. Waya and Ochi were in the preliminaries with me and other people from the Kansai Institute."
But Akari wasn't paying attention. She was zoned out, staring at the map in front of them. In the kitchen... had she meant what she had really said? Perhaps she had just been caught up in the moment. And the decision she had made last night, to just go to the Institute with Hikaru because of the childhood friendship that they once had... was she still sticking to that? Akari did not know what to think or who to even turn to about the situation. Her parents adored Hikaru and likely would not want to hear what Akari had to say, Miyuki was expecting the couple to have slept together last night, her best friends hated Hikaru with a passion...
"Akari!" Hikaru called, waving his hands in front of her face trying to catch her attention. Lights were blinking, which was the indication that their train was arriving. But Akari was absolutely zoned out. Sighing, Hikaru took told of Akari's hands and squeezed them. Wouldn't she be able to feel that? Hikaru watched as Akari's eyes returned back to normal.
"Our train's pulling into the station," Hikaru told her hesitantly. What thoughts were going through her mind?
Hikaru couldn't take it anymore. Akari had been acting weird all morning, even if she had said sorry to him earlier that morning. She didn't look at him, show any signs of affection or talk to him even.... That was nothing like she had been yesterday or the day before. He cared about her deeply and knew he wouldn't be able to relax unless Akari was truly happy again. After getting through the subway and busy streets, they entered the Go Institute. Upon seeing none of his friends, Hikaru took hold of an unassuming Akari by the wrist and pulled her into a broom closet. Eyes blazing, he looked down at Akari, who was now looking at him in the eye with surprise and fear.
"Why are you doing this to me, Akari?" Hikaru said, restraining himself from yelling.
Akari felt frozen to the spot where she was standing. Never, in all the time they knew each other, had Hikaru done anything like this before to her. Whenever they fought in the past, they were more teasing than serious. But this one would clearly be a dead serious one. Suddenly, she felt her heart sink as she realized she wanted to just get away, as far from Hikaru as she could. But all she could do was look at Hikaru in the eye and tremble.
"Even when we were best friends you weren't like this," Hikaru said, using a slightly softer tone.
"I'm not three years old, neither am I eight or twelve. I'm sixteen years old now; you can't expect me to behave like I did back then," Akari snapped.
Hikaru was surprised by the way she had just answered back and his voice once again began to harden. "You were happy two days ago."
"Get used to it. I can behave how ever I want."
"There's always a reason for everything and there's certainly a reason why you're acting like this."
"There is no reason behind emotion."
"Who says?"
"I do."
Akari shuffled her feet; knowing that what she would say next would worsen conditions. "Why should I show emotion when you don't?"
Stung by her comment, Hikaru's anger rose. She had to be overreacting. "Of course I have emotions. I'm frustrated right now, if that's not apparent to you. Yesterday I had taken you out and I've been so good to you in the past few months. "
"And that's all."
"What more do you want from me?" Hikaru was truly angry by now; his fists were clenched, facial expression furious, the voice hard and uncontrolled... Akari knew what she had to do.
"I... I'm sorry. I should have walked out your life completely a long time ago and given up my childhood fantasies. I'm sorry for bringing misery into your life and obstructing you from what you're meant to be. So we'll just end this all before anything else worsens for either one of us. Go ahead and live out your life... and keep me out of it. "
The next several minutes passed in a haze; the next thing she knew, Akari was walking the streets of Tokyo. Alone. She needed to find a place where not a single memory of Hikaru dwelled. It proved to be difficult as she and Hikaru walked around Tokyo several upon several times as children. Forty minutes into her walk, she wandered onto the grounds of her high school, which was convenient since Hikaru no longer went to school. On the right side of the property, there was a large tree which Akari, Meiru and Sakura often sat under in times of good weather. She could only remember happy memories from the times she had spent there. Sitting herself down at the base, she eased her back against the tree's smooth bark, closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath.
Now that their relationship was over, what was she to do?
As drowsiness began to overtake her, soft footsteps to the right caught her attention. The mystery person went to sit down next to her and caressed her fingers. "Just go away, Hikaru," she murmured softly, keeping her eyes closed.
"I've been looking for you too long to just leave. And remember what I said the other day: you're not getting in the way."
Hikaru's voice was now gentle, a sharp contrast from their fight at the Go Institute. One part of her wanted to give in to Hikaru and give him a hug, but as she said... it was over between them. And she desperately wanted to be alone. She bitterly turned her face away from him.
"Go away... this is my territory and not yours."
"Akari Fujisaki...I didn't come all this way to argue with you."
Akari felt Hikaru's soft, warm breath tickle her face as he leaned towards her to whisper in her ear ... his gentle murmurings... they were nothing less than some of the most loving words that she had heard directed towards her. And considering Hikaru wasn't much of a romantic person, Akari was amazed that such a thing was happening. How did he learn to be so good at it? She wasn't expecting to hear such words from a boyfriend for another five years at the least. Now...now she was quite convinced that what they had was genuine. Nearby and unnoticed, camera clicks were being directed towards the couple for five minutes, capturing the tender moments on film. Then the person taking those precious pictures drove away in her car.
Disclaimer: Ehhh... read previous disclaimers. It's all the same.
Chapter 5- Emotions
Akari woke up early the next morning, just around seven. As she rolled onto her side to look out her window, she realized that although she had managed to stay asleep the whole night, it had been a dreamless sleep, which she hadn't had in a long time. And that wasn't a good thing. Pushing her unruly hair away from her face, she frowned, feeling that today would be an awful one, to say the least. After forcing herself out of bed, she walked towards her desk, absent-mindedly brushing the tangles out of her hair with a comb. While her mind drew into a blank, her eyes caught notice of her blue skirt, which was limply hanging on her chair.
Memories of last night began to floor her head. Akari put her comb on her desk and stared at her wall as the images went through her mind. Suddenly, the phone rang loudly through the house. Akari picked it up quickly.
"Hello?"
"Akari? Good morning!" her friend Meiru's voice greeted on the phone.
"Good morning to you too, Meiru," Akari answered skeptically, wondering why Meiru was calling so early.
"I called your house around nine last night, but no one answered," Meiru started, almost as if expecting an explanation.
Akari's face reddened; she and Hikaru were still out at that time. "....Nine last night?" she asked shakily, trying to stall while she thought up an excuse. Even though they had never met Hikaru, Meiru and Sakura disliked him for how he had been to her in the past.
"Yes Akari, nine last night. You're always either at home or the library, and the library closed at seven last night.......... Are you hiding something from us?" Meiru asked impatiently.
"Akari? Who's that on the phone?" Hikaru's sleepy voice spoke from the door. Akari had no doubts that Meiru had heard him. "A friend," she mouthed. Understanding what she said, Hikaru nodded and disappeared back down the hall and stairs.
Seeing he left, Akari returned her attention to Meiru on the phone. "Meiru... before anything else, I just want to make something clear..."
"That was Hikaru, wasn't it?"
"Meiru, please try to understand..."
"No! You listen to me! You have enough going on in your life, and messing around with him will only make things more complicated. If it were another guy, then I say fine. But not him."
Akari frustratedly rubbed her head. "But I never told you the good things about him."
"That's besides the main points. Hikaru Shindou, the internationally recognized Go player from Japan... does he ring a bell? He's been gaining a lot of publicity lately."
"Yeah, but there were no cameras or photographers following us around... anyway, can I call you back later? Hikaru and I are going to the Go Institute soon."
Meiru was silent for a few moments.
"Fine." Then Meiru hung up.
Frowning at her friend's sudden rudeness, Akari hung up as well. After brushing her hair a bit more, Akari went downstairs only to see Hikaru sprawled on the couch sleeping again.
"Don't you have to be at the Go Institute?" she said out loud, heading towards the kitchen. Akari heard Hikaru stir awake again.
"I don't have to leave for another hour," Hikaru answered groggily as he got up and walked over to the kitchen.
"Did you sleep well last night?" she then asked in a hasty business-like tone, avoiding his gaze and rummaging through the kitchen looking for something to eat.
"Mine was fine. But I have a feeling yours wasn't. You're acting weird...what's wrong?" he asked, starting to worry.
"Nothing's wrong...you're always asking if something's wrong," Akari complained, walking towards the kitchen table with a jar of peanut butter in her right hand.
"I feel like I have to... because it pains me when I watch you not being yourself," Hikaru confessed, looking down at the floor. "Does what I said make sense at all?" he muttered.
Akari paused what she was doing. Hikaru had just said something rather sweet. What was the right way to respond to that? She looked at Hikaru timidly, although he was still looking down at the floor.
"That was a really sweet thing you just said."
She went over to give him a hug. "I'm sorry about what I said...I really am."
Hikaru heard the sincerity and remorse in her voice and drew her closer. He gazed into her eyes, which seemed to be glowing a soft brown. Hikaru moved to stroke her hair. "You're forgiven."
"Well...isn't this a cozy sight."
Hikaru broke his gaze from Akari to find out who had just spoken. Akari's eyes darted over to the kitchen entrance, seeing her sister standing there with a smirk on her face.
"Good morning, Miyuki. How was dinner last night?" Akari said, breaking away from Hikaru and walking over to her sister.
A pleased smile spread on Miyuki's face. "It was an unforgettable night...one of the best nights I've had in a long time. And how about you two?" she asked as she gave her little sister a hug.
"It was fine here; Akari stayed in her room and I slept on the couch... nothing really eventful happened."
Miyuki's dress rustled as she pushed Akari away in surprise. "You two didn't do anything special last night?"
Hikaru stepped forward and took hold of Akari's hand. Looking at Miyuki, he firmly shook his head. "No. Nut I'm taking Akari to the Go Institute soon, so, if you will excuse us..." Hikaru, still grasping Akari's hand, left the kitchen quietly and went upstairs to Akari's room. Miyuki silently leaned on one of the walls as she watching her sister and Hikaru leave.
"I was so sure..." she said softly.
Twenty minutes later, Hikaru and Akari were at the subway station waiting for the subway that would take them to the Institute. Hikaru looked down at Akari who was taking a look at a poster with a list of subway stops around Tokyo and nearby towns. 'That's right; Akari rarely uses the subway,' he realized with a smile. Hikaru walked over to where Akari was and pointed out two marks on the map. "It's a three mile trip to the Institute; we'll be at our stop in about fifteen minutes," he informed her.
Akari nodded. "So, who's playing today?"
"Isumi Shinichiro 2-Dan vs. Hana Hayuno 4-Dan. Both of them are nineteen years old and are trying to qualify for a professional competition for players aged 18-23; it's just like the Hokuto Cup except for the next age group. Isumi's one of my good friends from since I was an insei, so my friends and I...and you...are going to watch the game to give him support. Waya and Ochi were in the preliminaries with me and other people from the Kansai Institute."
But Akari wasn't paying attention. She was zoned out, staring at the map in front of them. In the kitchen... had she meant what she had really said? Perhaps she had just been caught up in the moment. And the decision she had made last night, to just go to the Institute with Hikaru because of the childhood friendship that they once had... was she still sticking to that? Akari did not know what to think or who to even turn to about the situation. Her parents adored Hikaru and likely would not want to hear what Akari had to say, Miyuki was expecting the couple to have slept together last night, her best friends hated Hikaru with a passion...
"Akari!" Hikaru called, waving his hands in front of her face trying to catch her attention. Lights were blinking, which was the indication that their train was arriving. But Akari was absolutely zoned out. Sighing, Hikaru took told of Akari's hands and squeezed them. Wouldn't she be able to feel that? Hikaru watched as Akari's eyes returned back to normal.
"Our train's pulling into the station," Hikaru told her hesitantly. What thoughts were going through her mind?
Hikaru couldn't take it anymore. Akari had been acting weird all morning, even if she had said sorry to him earlier that morning. She didn't look at him, show any signs of affection or talk to him even.... That was nothing like she had been yesterday or the day before. He cared about her deeply and knew he wouldn't be able to relax unless Akari was truly happy again. After getting through the subway and busy streets, they entered the Go Institute. Upon seeing none of his friends, Hikaru took hold of an unassuming Akari by the wrist and pulled her into a broom closet. Eyes blazing, he looked down at Akari, who was now looking at him in the eye with surprise and fear.
"Why are you doing this to me, Akari?" Hikaru said, restraining himself from yelling.
Akari felt frozen to the spot where she was standing. Never, in all the time they knew each other, had Hikaru done anything like this before to her. Whenever they fought in the past, they were more teasing than serious. But this one would clearly be a dead serious one. Suddenly, she felt her heart sink as she realized she wanted to just get away, as far from Hikaru as she could. But all she could do was look at Hikaru in the eye and tremble.
"Even when we were best friends you weren't like this," Hikaru said, using a slightly softer tone.
"I'm not three years old, neither am I eight or twelve. I'm sixteen years old now; you can't expect me to behave like I did back then," Akari snapped.
Hikaru was surprised by the way she had just answered back and his voice once again began to harden. "You were happy two days ago."
"Get used to it. I can behave how ever I want."
"There's always a reason for everything and there's certainly a reason why you're acting like this."
"There is no reason behind emotion."
"Who says?"
"I do."
Akari shuffled her feet; knowing that what she would say next would worsen conditions. "Why should I show emotion when you don't?"
Stung by her comment, Hikaru's anger rose. She had to be overreacting. "Of course I have emotions. I'm frustrated right now, if that's not apparent to you. Yesterday I had taken you out and I've been so good to you in the past few months. "
"And that's all."
"What more do you want from me?" Hikaru was truly angry by now; his fists were clenched, facial expression furious, the voice hard and uncontrolled... Akari knew what she had to do.
"I... I'm sorry. I should have walked out your life completely a long time ago and given up my childhood fantasies. I'm sorry for bringing misery into your life and obstructing you from what you're meant to be. So we'll just end this all before anything else worsens for either one of us. Go ahead and live out your life... and keep me out of it. "
The next several minutes passed in a haze; the next thing she knew, Akari was walking the streets of Tokyo. Alone. She needed to find a place where not a single memory of Hikaru dwelled. It proved to be difficult as she and Hikaru walked around Tokyo several upon several times as children. Forty minutes into her walk, she wandered onto the grounds of her high school, which was convenient since Hikaru no longer went to school. On the right side of the property, there was a large tree which Akari, Meiru and Sakura often sat under in times of good weather. She could only remember happy memories from the times she had spent there. Sitting herself down at the base, she eased her back against the tree's smooth bark, closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath.
Now that their relationship was over, what was she to do?
As drowsiness began to overtake her, soft footsteps to the right caught her attention. The mystery person went to sit down next to her and caressed her fingers. "Just go away, Hikaru," she murmured softly, keeping her eyes closed.
"I've been looking for you too long to just leave. And remember what I said the other day: you're not getting in the way."
Hikaru's voice was now gentle, a sharp contrast from their fight at the Go Institute. One part of her wanted to give in to Hikaru and give him a hug, but as she said... it was over between them. And she desperately wanted to be alone. She bitterly turned her face away from him.
"Go away... this is my territory and not yours."
"Akari Fujisaki...I didn't come all this way to argue with you."
Akari felt Hikaru's soft, warm breath tickle her face as he leaned towards her to whisper in her ear ... his gentle murmurings... they were nothing less than some of the most loving words that she had heard directed towards her. And considering Hikaru wasn't much of a romantic person, Akari was amazed that such a thing was happening. How did he learn to be so good at it? She wasn't expecting to hear such words from a boyfriend for another five years at the least. Now...now she was quite convinced that what they had was genuine. Nearby and unnoticed, camera clicks were being directed towards the couple for five minutes, capturing the tender moments on film. Then the person taking those precious pictures drove away in her car.