Affairs of the Heart
PART TWO: Love is Life
Chapter fourteen
So, I couldn't do it. I felt so guilty for what I had done. It had finally caught up to me. For two days I couldn't eat or sleep. Dean wondered why I couldn't but I just told him I was sick which caused him to cut the load off at work. I didn't need that.
Jesse and I haven't talked since. We haven't gone to the coffee shop together and we hadn't gone on any dates. It was only for that weekend. We both knew that we wouldn't be able to be together. We had both moved on….
But if I had moved on why did I feel so sick. I think the sick to my stomach-ness caught up with me about three weeks after I had my weekend with Jesse, a week before my wedding. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I knew I needed to tell someone fast. But who?
I couldn't tell Dean. I couldn't tell Gina or Cee Cee. I couldn't tell my mom or anyone in my family. They would all look down on me and I knew it. So…I choose to tell Paul. I told him to meet me at the beach, just him because I didn't want Nicole knowing either.
I sat on the sand looking at the ocean, I the breeze from the ocean felt wonderful on my face. It also made me want to go get some fish…though I have never acquired a great taste for fish.
"Hey." I said to Paul as he sat down on the sand next to me.
"God, Suze you look horrible, are you okay?"
"No, I am not okay. That is what I needed to talk to you about."
"Okay…would it have to do with anything that about what happened oh say three weeks ago with a certain Mr. De Silva?" he asked loftily.
My mouth dropped and I turned to look at him, "how do YOU know?" I was flabbergasted.
"Lucky guess… that and the fact that I talked to Jesse about a week ago about this. He is really bent out shape about this. You look the same way. Have you eaten any?"
"Yes, but this past week I am so heartbroken whenever I eat I just throw it back up."
"Well, how about I take you out to eat, I'll sow your mouth shut after you get some food in there and you won't throw it up."
"Ha-ha. But can we go to seafood?" I asked hopefully.
"You hate seafood." He said looking at me like I was delusional.
"Sitting on the beach here made me want some…is that weird or something?" I asked him a bit whiney.
"Whatever."
I jumped up, but a little too fast because next thing I knew I was running for the sand dunes throwing up. God I did this a lot.
Paul held back my hair laughing.
"What?" I asked when I was done, still having an awful taste in my mouth.
"Ha, nothing." He said shaking his head.
I eyed him, "Okay…"
We went to Carmel-by-the-seafood. Corny, I know but hey they have the best apparently. I didn't know how much seafood goodness I had been missing out all of these years! It was so wonderful. This was probably the most I had eaten that week.
Paul looked at me and laughed again.
"What is so funny Paul?" I said getting angry at this point. I had finished eating and my stomach felt a little queasy already. Oh god…maybe I should see a doctor.
"I don't think you want to know."
"Paul!" I said warningly, oh god here it comes again. I got up and hurried to the bathroom. I rushed into the bathroom and threw up once again. I think I needed to go to the doctor's badly.
I went back out to the table and saw that Paul had already paid the bill, "Threw up again?" he asked.
"Yeah."
He laughed at me once again, "Paul what is so funny!" I asked so peeved at this point.
"I can't believe you don't know what is wrong with you." He said getting up and we walked out towards his car.
"No, I don't know. Just tell me already." I said getting into his car.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes!"
"Are you sure?"
"DAMN It Paul, just tell me!" I was beyond pissed now.
"Well, isn't it obvious? You're pregnant."
"WHAT!" I screamed and Paul stopped at the stop light.
"Yeah."
"Shut up, I am not pregnant."
"Did you not have sex with Jesse three weeks ago?" He asked.
"yes…" I mumbled.
"Are you not throwing up and having cravings?"
"Yes..." I mumbled again.
"Well, those are the most obvious signs of pregnancy Suze."
"Take me to the store."
"What?" he asked.
"I said, take me to the store now." I said warningly.
"Alright…damn pregnant women and their hormones…" he said turning into the CVS.
I grabbed my purse and ran into the store. I went down to the feminine products isle. I heart started pounding and my palms started sweat. I was REALLY nervous. I mean I could really be pregnant. Was I ready to have a baby?
I looked down both sides of the isle to see if anyone was there. It was clear. I grabbed the test and some chips (they did look good you know) and paid for them both, avoiding conversation with the cashier.
I ran and jumped back into Paul's car and he pulled out of the parking lot and down the street.
"Did you get a test?" He asked looking at my bag.
"Yeah…and some chips. I really like salt and vinegar chips."
He just looked at me and laughed, "Alright, where is Paul's driving service taking you next?"
"I have to go to Jesse's house. I need you to come too."
"Okay, to Jesse's we go." He said.
We pulled up and I held my CVS bag tight. I got to Jesse's door and knocked. He answered and looked at me, "Susannah, Paul, what are you two doing here?"
"Are you alone?" I asked.
"Yes, why?"
I pushed past him into his apartment and Paul followed closing the door.
"What is going on?" He asked me. I sighed and pulled out my EPT test.
"This." I said and his eyes went bug-eyed.
"You don't think?"
"Well, there is only one way to find out now is there?" I said a bit irritated.
"Ha-ha Jesse, you better watch out for them mood swings." Paul said looking through his messages on his cell phone.
"Shut it Paul." I said.
"Nombre de dois." Jesse said putting his hands through his hair.
"Okay, I think we just need to calm down Jesse." I took his hands into mine. "I don't even know yet."
"Then, go take it!" he said pushing me towards the bathroom.
I walked in and took out the test. Alright, this wasn't complicated. All I have to do is pee on a stick. Ew.
After five minutes I walked out of Jesse's bathroom holding the test. He jumped and looked at me.
"What does it say?" He asked coming towards me.
"I am pregnant." I looked up at him my mind numb.
Edited by: the ever-so-lovely Nicole.