Affairs of The Heart
PART TWO: Love is Life
Chapter sixteen
I woke up with a start and all I saw was pink. Oh god, I died and went to hell. But I sat up and realized I was in my old room. I instantly looked over to my bay window. There was no glowing Jesse. But at the foot of my bed was Dean.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I am fine. You surprised me, that's all. You should have told me you changed it to tomorrow! TOMORROW! FOR GOD'S SAKE!" I said throwing my arms in the air.
"What's so wrong with tomorrow, it is just a week ahead."
"Dean, you won't listen to me, I am trying to tel-" I was cut off by my mom walking in.
"Suze, honey, are you okay?" She asked feeling my head.
"Mom, I am fine. Just let me go downstairs."
"Well, I won't let you come home tonight." She said Matter-of-factly.
"Why?" Dean and I said unison.
"Because! You" she said looking at Dean, "Can't see the bride before the wedding!" She said all excited.
I felt like I could puke and that wasn't the pregnancy talking.
"Okay." He said smiling.
"I am going to go eat." I said getting up and going downstairs. I saw Gina, Jake, Brad, David, Shannon, Adam, Cee Cee, Charlie, Abby, Paul, and Nicole; All downstairs mingling. My mom had a sign up "CONGRATS DEAN AND SUZE!". I had to break this off.
But all night, I was pushed this way and that. Trying to tell him that I couldn't marry him. But my mom had other things on her mind.
Finally, everyone left. I wasn't even allowed to say good-bye to Dean, not that I really wanted too much, but still I was going to try to tell him about what I wanted to do. Oh god, this was God punishing. What was I to do? Go ahead and marry Dean? I do not think so.
I went up to my room and lay down on the bed. I sighed and began to cry. I didn't want to marry Dean. I wanted to be with Jesse. I wanted us to be together and have a family because I love him. But everything was making it so that we couldn't be. First, he was dead, then, there was Katie, Now, there is Dean. I CAN'T TAKE IT! Maybe I could run away…no I did that last time. All that ended up doing was causing me to get pregnant with a one night stand with Jesse.
I heard a knock at my window. I swear if that was Dean, I was going to push him off the roof and no, that wasn't my hormones talking but suer was a good excuse if the police asked. They never put pregnant women in jail. I walked over and opened it. It was Jesse.
"Jesse? What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing at your parents?" He asked.
"My mom threw me a party. Jesse! I can't do it! Every time I have tried talking to him he blows me off! What am I going to do?" I wailed and sat down on my bay window.
"Susannah, Just do what you have to do." He said rubbing my back.
"Hold on, I'll be right back." And I ran to the bathroom. After throwing up, I came back to the window and saw Jesse sitting on the bay window seat. Oh, how that brought up old memories.
"Jesse, I think I will just have to go through with it. It is a sign saying we can't be together. I just know it." I said sitting on my bed.
"What?" he yelled whispered, knowing he could wake up my parents down stairs this time around.
I started to feel tears stinging my eyes, "I have to."
"Susannah, you don't have to do anything. You make your own choices. Now if this is your choice, I respect it. But, just remember one thing, you are carrying our child and I will not stand back and let him raise it. You will have to tell him some time." He said looking at me.
Tears fell down my face. But this time, he didn't comfort me and wipe them off my face. "You should go." I said quietly.
"Be safe." He said and climbed out the window.
I laid on my stomach and cried. I had lost everything, and the only thing I had to look forward to was to raising mine and Jesse's child with a man I don't love.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I was silent, numb, and hallow the whole morning. When I woke up, I ran straight to the bath room to throw up. I sat on the bathroom floor next to the toilet and waited, just incase I needed to again.
Cee Cee walked in and saw me. "Aw, Suze, It will go away…soon enough." She said handing me a wet wash cloth. I washed my face and went out to my room. Gina was out there setting up her hair supplies and makeup.
"Hey, Simon. Wow, won't be able to call you that anymore." She said.
I sat down at the vanity seat.
"Black, I want a lot of black. This is my funeral." Gina and Cee Cee looked at each other like I had gone mad.
"Okay, if that is what you want." Gina started my makeup. By the time she was done. I my hair pulled back into a bun, my eyes done with black, and my dress had a black ribbon at my waist. Just like Shania Barker. I had a black veil and shoes. Like I said, this is my funeral.
Gina and CeeCee looked great in their black dresses. They would be one of many who would be mourning for me. "Suze, you look great." Gina said.
"Come on, we are going to be late." Cee said and she led me down the stairs. My mom and Andy were waiting at the bottom.
"Oh, Susie…you look beautiful."
I didn't say anything.
"Come on kiddo, your car is outside waiting for you." Andy took me by my arm and escorted me out to the black limo. Nice, the limo was black. I got in and waited. With every second it got closer to the mission, was a second sooner until my death.
I got out of the limo when we reached the church. I saw father Dom, out side waiting for me when I reached the door. I gave him a hug.
"Some how," he whispered in my ear, "This wasn't how I imagined your wedding."
"This isn't how I imagined it either." I whispered back my voice cracking holding back a cry.
I let go of him and made my way inside, Father Dominic greeting everyone else. I just went to my back room and waited until it was time.
"Well, you are soon no longer going to be Susannah Simon." Cee Cee said, Sitting in a chair next to me.
"No, she is dead." I whispered.
"Are you okay?" Gina said, kneeling down and looking up at me.
"No, I am not okay. I am not marrying the man I love." I cried out.
"What?" She said, Cee Cee getting down on my other side.
"I don't love Dean," I was saying through sobs, "I want this to be mine and Jesse's wedding! I love him so much. It hurts so bad." I leaned forward on to my lap and cried.
Gina gave me a big hug and didn't let go, "Sh, Suze, it is okay. Just, don't through with it."
"Oh my god, Suze." Cee Cee said, "It is Jesse's baby isn't it?"
I nodded my head.
"When, did this happen?" She asked.
"The weekend Dean went away. I didn't plan on it. B-but it just happened."
Gina and Cee both embraced me.
"Oh, Susie-bear!" Gina said.
"A-and I c-can't s-stop t-the w-w-wedding because m-my baby won't have an f-father."
"But Suze!"
"Susie, get cleaned up, five minutes." My mom called in and left.
I sniffed and wiped my eyes, my makeup, being water-proof, didn't smear.
I got up and went to line up. Andy got by my side…so this was it, the end. I heard the wedding march start and we started to walk. I walked with my head up and looking straight ahead looking at the back of Gina and Cee Cee's heads.
Everyone was staring at me, I felt like I could throw up and the isle seemed never ending. Taking forever for me to reach the end.
I did get to the end finally and Andy handed me over to Dean who me lead up to the alter.
"Dearly beloved," Father Dominic boomed across the echoing church, "We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in Holy matrimony. If anyone thinks these two should not be joined forever, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Gina began to open her mouth but I shook her no and she closed it.
"Anyone?" Father Dominic was staling. "I mean, it doesn't matter what you think, ANY reason will do." The church was quiet. I heard someone cough.
I hung my head down. "Is everyone sure?" He said sounding a bit desperate.
"Um, Father." Dean said a tad warningly.
"Yes?" He said brightly.
The doors opened loudly and everyone turned around and saw Jesse standing there panting. My heart jumped and stomach flipped. A smile flashed across my face and I felt like I would be saved.
"I have a reason Padre." Jesse said walking down the isle.
"Suze, what is Jesse doing here?" Dean asked bewildered.
"I am stopping the woman I love, making the biggest mistake of her life." He walked right up to me. "Querida, don't do it. I love you so much." He picked up my hand.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? SHE LOVES ME! RIGHT SUZE?" Dean bellowed.
"I- I." I looked back and forth from Jesse to Dean. From the man I love to the one that I never could love.
"Suze, listen to your heart." Father Dominic said quietly. (A/N: ahh corny I know but hey it is cute, stay in the mood people)
"Dean, I don't." I said and I heard people gasp.
"I don't love you. I love Jesse. I have loved Jesse ever since the time I saw him when I was sixteen. He has always been there for me. He cares what I think and everything about me. Dean I care about you…I just don't love you." I said.
"So, you are leaving me? What about our baby?" He asked pleadingly.
I moved away from Dean. "Dean, I have been trying to tell you for a week, but you haven't listened to me! This isn't your baby! It is Jesse's!" I heard even more gasps.
He looked at me jaw opened.
"I am so sorry; I cheated on you, when you went to New York. I am sorry I have caused you all this pain." I looked up at him.
He looked really angry. He was so angry he raised his hand and slapped me. It hit me like a fiery bullet and I fell to my knees. I held my hand to my cheek and looked up at him.
"You whore." He spat down at me. Next thing I knew Jesse launched him self on to Dean and was beating the shit out of him.
Andy, Jake, Brad and David all ran up and pulled the two apart. Gina and CeeCee came down to each side of me and held me.
"Are you alright Suze?" Gina asked.
"I-I'm fine." I said, letting them help me to my feet.
"Do you ever call her a whore you bastardo!" He was starting firing off in Spanish. Trying to fight the grip Andy and Jake had on him.
Dean, who had a bloody nose, cursed back. I saw David laughing a bit, understanding every single word Jesse was saying.
"Alright this is enough!" Father Dominic said. "I want you out!" He said pointing at Dean. Jesse, Jake, Andy, my mom, Gina, Adam, Cee Cee, and I walked out of the church with Dean, his brother and his father.
"Suze, I can't believe you." Dean said giving me a dirty look.
"That is it!" Jake said. Stepping up to Dean. " I am not going to let you bad mouth my sister, now leave and NEVER, talk to us again, or I swear, we" Pointing to Brad, David, Andy, and Jesse, "Will hunt you down." He now gave Dean the death glare.
"Fine. Good bye" Dean and all his family left. That was the last time I ever saw him…I had Adam and David go get my stuff later that week.
Two months later…
I had my head rested on Jesse's chest, dancing to a nice slow song; the exact one that they played at my sophomore winter formal. I looked at my rings on my left hand.
"I told you this ring would make some special girl happy."
"Yes you did Querida."
"I love you Mr. De Silva." I said looking up at him.
"I love you, Mrs. De Silva." He said looking down at me, giving me a kiss and then a kiss on my growing stomach.
This was out first dance together as husband and wife, one that would set off for the rest of our lives.
Edited by: the ever-so-lovely Nicole.
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