Disclaimer: Maa… maa… What the heck am I supposed to say again? Oh yeah… I don't nothing. Not Kei-Kun, not Love Hina, not dangerous techniques to torture evil people with crazy hilarity… Wait… I do own that! Yay! Thank you god for torture SKILLZ!
Narrator: In a world where a narrator must pay for his own parking ticket, comes an evil so terrifyingly evil that it shakes the world to its very core… As well as the policeman giving me the ticket… It comes in a very small package… A small girl with a twisted mind in: Keitaro: Another Day…
Fayte: Hmm? Oh! Hiah readers! WHATS HAPPENIN!
Narrator: In a world where authors forget to introduce their guests one per…
Fayte: OKAY OKAY! Just shut up with that 'In a world where' thingy!
Narrator: In a world where people are angry at me one…
Fayte: OKAY THAT'S IT! .:Pulls out bazooka:.
Narrator: In a world wher…
Fayte: DIE! .:Rocket Launch:. .:BOOM:.
Fayte: 'Kay! Today my guest is the non-other than… .:LOUD DRUMROLL:. THX ALOT SOUND EFFECTS GUY! EDWARD ELRIC FROM FULL METAL ALCHEMIST!
.:Poof:. (The girly pinky like poof)
Ed: .:cough:. .:cough:. GOD! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SMELL!
Fayte: That? That was just the smoke you came in.
Ed: God! It feels like I'm gonna die!
Fayte: Hey no worries! I'll just use a fan! Jeese… It's just a small problem…
Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SMALL MICROSCOPIC PIECE OF MUSHED BEAN THAT'S SO SMALL EVEN A MICROSCOPIC CELL WOULD HAVE A HARD TIME SEEING IT!
Fayte: Calm down Edward…
Ed: AS WELL AS A TINY FLEA WITH DIAHREA IS STILL TOO BIG TO EVEN BE ABLE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE SMALL PIECE OF POOP THAT IS THE BEAN!
Fayte: Now listen here! Calm down or I'll do something sooooo horrible you'd wish you died!
Ed: Bring it on flat chest!
Fayte: I DO NOT! OKAY THAT'S IT! FEEL THE WRATH OF AN AUTHOR! .:Takes out a notebook:.
Ed: Oooooh… Scary… What are you gonna do huh? Throw it at me! .:Laughs crazily:.
Fayte: Seeing how much you pissed me off… I'll do THIS! .:Scribble on notebook:.
.:POOF:.
.:Ed is suddenly wearing a sleeveless, light blue dress with white flowery patterns:.
Ed: AHHH! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO TO ME! IT LOOKS HORRIBLE! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
Fayte: You're right… It doesn't look good with that automail of yours…
Ed: GODDAM THAT'S RIGHT!
.:Scribble Scribble:.
.:and POOF:.
.:He is suddenly wearing long white satin gloves and black stockings:.
Ed: AHHH! HELP! GET IT OFF! IT KEEPS FALLING DOWN!
Fayte: I can fix that… .:Scribble Scribble:.
.:and POOF some more:.
.:Ed's dress is suddenly filled… If you know what I mean…:.
Ed: WHAAA! IT'S JUST NOT NATURAL! A GUY CAN'T HAVE BREASTS! AHHH!
Fayte: Keep giving me more suggestions! .:Scribble Scribble:.
.:invisible POOF:.
.:No obvious change:.
Ed: What did ya do now?
Fayte: Nothing much… Though your personal soldier is missing right now…
Ed: Soldier?
Fayte: You're a smart cookie. Figure it out yourself.
--3 hours later--
Ed: Soldier… soldier… OH SHI… .:Reaching down to his boxers, currently panties…:.
This was certainly awkward… Very awkward…
In a guys position, you would have felt your soldier down there.
In a girls position, you would have felt… well… nothing.
What did Ed feel? Nothing.
As a guy, who just lost his soldier what would you do?
Ed did the most reasonable thing any guy would do…
Ed: AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
.:Breathe:.
AHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH---
--1 hour later--
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! .:Faint:.
Fayte: That took care of him! Yeah! Never mess with the holy power of Fayte!
Now feel upon my unholy wrath! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA---
--Another hour later--
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
.:Ahem:. Now I think we should start the show! Get ready! Set! GOLALATEIFY!
"Talking"
'Other People Thinking'
.:Actions:.
Emphasis
--Scene/Time Change--
Replies to reviews at the bottom!
Chapter 6: Custard, A Pool, And an Age Ray
Urgh… I feel like I've been smushed into a trillion pieces with the Tellitubbies custard machine and spat back out as Keiatard. What's Keiatard? I created something so horrible the Tellitubbies will bow to my awesome might. It all started like this…
--Flashback to downtown--
"Na nan an na na an nan ana na…" Humming a tune a learned in a book.
Hmm? A dark and creepy alley? I love these! Dark creepy alleys are the most perfect places to meet a variety of people!
"Psst…" "Hmm?" "PSST" "Hello mister! It looks like you're peeing right now and I can't bother you right now. BYE!" "Dammit kid! Come over here!" "Yes?" "I have a special deal for you right now." "WOW! A SPECIAL DEAL! IT'S JUST LIKE A NORMAL DEAL, BUT SPECIAL! IT'S ALSO SPECIAL, BUT A DEAL! WHAT IS IT!" "Kid, what I have here right now can change your life. I have a special liquid I use that be almost anything!
"REALLY?" "Yes really kid, so what do you want it to be?" "Hmm… what I want is a special custard that can overpower the Telliubbies horrible custard!"
'Is this kid an idiot? Nah, his grin is too goofy to be an idiot…"
"Okay kid, I can give you that, but first you have to close your eyes." "Yes?"
"Now get on your knees…" "Yeah" "And suck it out through this long tube" "Okay"
A/N: Okay, we all know what Keitaro is doing right now. And I'm sorry to all those Keitaro fans out there… Hey, I'm a Keitaro fan too! But right now, one of my friends is threatening me to right this… HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY! I CAN'T BELIEVE HIM! Damn jerk… This is another example why I shouldn't have guys as close friends…
Just for equality, I'm gonna add this…
I just wanted a little peek, just a little… I took one… what I saw horrified my to no end… What I saw will be forever etched into my memory… I was sucking on a dirty tube!
"Hey! Don't you ever clean this thing!"
"Nah too lazy."
"Why did you even put it inside an air tight bag anyways!
"Eh, only thing I had at the time. But who cares? As long as you take all the damn custard with you. It's been getting more smelly everyday. So just hurry already!"
"Yeah yeah… god darn… mumble… he could at least… mumble… stupid non-genius… mumble…"
--End horrible flashback--
'Kay, I'm still in the hospital place and I'm freaking hungry! What's worse, is that those darn nurses took away all my pocky!
When I rule the world, I'm killing off nurses. What? If I kill them all off the world will go into a state of panic and lack of medicine? Well… I'll be ruling the world so if they all panic I'll send my awsomey ultimate bodyguards to tranquilize them with tranq darts!
Now where was I?
Oh yeah, horrible pain.
"ARGG! NURSE!"
"YES! WHAT'S WRONG!" Wow, the hottest nurse in the hospital is here!
"I stubbed my toe."
"What the hell! All that for a stupid toe!"
"Well… I like my toe…" Pouting as sexily as I can.
"Goddammit! DO THAT AGAIN AND I WILL KILL YOU!"
"Mean ass…"
Well, I'm bored… Hmm? What happened since last time? Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about that… I'll flashback it so it's easier.
--Like, 1 or 2 days ago--
"Fayte, huh?"
I wonder where I can get some pocky… Lemme see, around my bed is, Naru, Kitsune, Motoko, Koalla, I think that's Sara…, and OMG! IS THAT SHINOBU?
"Keitaro you idiot!"
"Keitaro! How ya doing?"
"Urashima! Vile pervert!"
"Kei-baby! Bananas!"
"Wuai! Kei-kun!"
"Sempai! What happened to me!
Okay… normal enough… 'Cept for that 'Kei-kun' bit near the end… Who said that one?
'Kay, checklist…
Naru: "Keitaro you idiot!" X
Kitsune: "Keitaro! How ya doing?" X
Motoko: "Urashima! Vile pervert!" X
Koalla: "Kei-baby! Bananas!" X
Sara: "Hiah dork!" ?
Shinobu: "Sempai! What happened to me! X
Sara: "Hiah dork!" ?
Something's wrong…
"Sara. What did you say?"
"I think I said… "WUAI! KEI-KUN!" .:GLOMP:.
"Wait! ARGH! LET GO OF ME!"
"Why would I do that precious Kei-kun?"
"Keitaro! You pervert! DOING THAT TO KIDS!" She's rearing up another punch…
"FEEL LUCKY URASHIMA! FOR THE CARETAKERS OF MEDICINE HAVE STOLEN MY BLADE!" Well… at least something good came out of this…
Wait… didn't they get jacked up with hypno pills? The type that make you love…
"Urashima School of Ultimate Defense: Cheese Bombs!"
Narrator: Naru, one known to hit and hate many perverts has come about towards her most dangerous weakness… Cheese… As well as Motoko…
"Ch-Ch-CHEESE! GIMME SOME CHEESE! CHEESE! CHEESE! CHEESE!"
And though if some Kami was looking down at him, luck passed his way once more…
"CHEESE! URASHIMA! I AM YOURS! JUST GIVE ME THE CHEESE!"
Well… I guess I have to split my cheese bombs now… So I threw them in 2 completely opposite directions…
"Yes…! Urashima! The loving cheese! I am forever in your debt Urashima-sama!"
Narrator: Naru unfortunately, wasn't so lucky enough to have it land on her lap. In fact hers went straight out the window…
"Cheese!"
"Naru-sempai! This is the third floor!" I just couldn't help looking at her chest…
"Whaa!"
She is sooo lucky there's a kiddie pool right outside the window.
But there's 2 things wrong with that…
1. Water stings if you land on your stomach
2. And 2, note the words kiddie pool, meaning incredible small and shallowness.
"Oh shi... ARGH! AHH! THAT STINGS! HELP! OH KAMI-SAMA! THE STEPS! AH!"
Well… because of that… almost everybody went after her… Almost everybody…
"Now, darling Kei-kun… where were we?"
"Um… Sara? Don't you think you're a little too young? And why are ya acting like this?"
"Oh Kei-kun… Do you not remember? You made me like this…"
"What! I didn't do nothin! I swear!"
.:Giggle:. .:Giggle:. "Oh Kei-kun, so innocent. That one little piece of what you call torture has done this… You let the woman out, and locked the child in…" Wow… I didn't know kids can try to seduce you like that…
"Sara… SaRa… SARA LET GO!"
"Oh Kei-kun! What has made you so angry? You look so cute when you're angry…"
"SARA! It isn't proper for kids to do this!"
"So if I was a little older you'd accept me?"
"Well, when you're old enough I'll still be too old for you!"
"Well… I guess I'll need to change that won't I?"
"What do you mean?"
"This." Pulling out some huge ray, pointing it at herself "Is Koalla Suu's Age Ray MK X. It'll age me to any age proper enough. So to you, what is the proper age?"
"I guess age 20, but still…"
"20 it is!" .:Lights bean to Sara:.
"SARA STOP!"
Narrator: And yet it was too late…
In place of Sara was now a young woman, about the age of twenty. Hair still in pigtails, yet now reaching longer down her back. Still wearing Sara's old clothes, though hugging her now shapely body with curves in all the right places.
"SARA! WOW! YOUR HOT!"
"Oooo… Thank you dear Kei-kun…" Leaning her body over.
"Wait Sara… What are you do…" She pulled him into a deep kiss… hands tightly wrapped around his head, unconsciously, he wrapped his own around her waist… They woulda stayed like this longer if it wasn't for…
"HEY YOU BRATS! THIS IS NOT A LOVE HOTEL!"
Snapping out of my trance… "Oh! Sorry old lady!"
"You better be… HEY!"
"Kei-kun… just hush… Let's sleep…" As she sat on some chair nearby and laid her head on my stomach…
One thought ran through my genius mind… "Wow… She's a good kisser!"
--End the Flashback from 1 or 2 days ago--
She never left yet, we've just been making out for the last 2 hours.
A/N: Shoot… I was positive it was 2 days ago…
The girls never came back though… Still looking after Naru I bet…
In the meantime right now… Sara went to get me some Pocky…
We're all heading back home tomorrow anyways. Wonder what the girls will say?
Eh… Leave that for later… Hey! Here's Sara!
"Ready for another session?"
"I'm in!"
As she pulled me into another kiss… She stuck some pocky in-between our mouths…
God… I love Pocky…
Al: Hello? I'm supposed to pick up Ed?
Fayte: Oh! Hello Al-kun!
Al: Hello Angel-san!
Fayte: If you wanna see Ed, he said to tell you that he'll be here for another day, and would like to invite you to the next show!
Al: Okay then. Tell my brother I said hi! Goodbye Angel-san!
.:Al's gone:.
Fayte: He-he-he… Time for a little hypnosis… He-he-he…
What going to happen next? Do you know? Nope. Do I know? I dunno. Does Ed know? He will, oh, he will… MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Review replies!
Sci-Fi Raptor: YEA YEA! THX! And no worries! I'll use Skillz! And wow… that stuff in vending machines? I read that somewhere in Megatokyo but I thought they were joking…
Drgnmastr-Alex of the Dark Icon Writers: YAY! POCKY! Oh and I know how much of a defender of Naru you are and I'm sorry bout this Naru thing… But I said I'd pull back A LOT! If I didn't I woulda tortured her like crazy while she was sleeping… SRY!
Stromiv: Thx!
tomdj1701: No worries! I will eventually… O.O
Gullible Panda: You don't know what pocky is! Pocky is the most awsomest thing in the wholeisity of the Universe! Pocky are those thin candy sticks coated in many different flavors and suchiosity the greatest thing to bless my entire life! And thx for supporting me!
Announcement: To those of you who really like fanfictions, and such I was wonderin if you guys would wanna join this forum made by bluezone777 of the Dark Icon Writers! We're always lookin for new members and we wish you guys would join!
If you want to, here's the link to it!
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We hope you join!
That, and I won't be able to update for a while… Why? Because… T.T because… T.T I'm… T.T FAILING FRENCH! T.T
I needta study or else I'm sooo dead! I don't wanna repeat a year!
YAY! 34 REVIEWS & 209 hits! Yeah… the whole downtime of totally reset my hits…
REVIEW PLEASE!
Ja Ne!
See You Soon!
Soon's Too Long! T.T
Bai Bai!
.:Fayte Angel:.