MegaMan was watching TV. A commercial comes on:
An office group is having a meeting. A man is playing a portable system.
Boss: Johnson, is that a GAMEBOY?
Female employee: A GameBoy, or should I say, Lameboy (the whole table bursts into laughter) that makes me question your masculinity.
Johnson: No Boss, it's an N-Gage, the cool new system!
Boss: COOL! In that case, you're vice president!
Female Employee: Oh Johnson, an N-Gage, I love you!
Boss: Everybody party!
The workers get on the table and start dancing to 80s music.
Announcer: N-Gage, the system for mature gamers.
MegaMan: Wow... an N-Gage! If I have one of those I can be cool! But where am I going to get the money for the system, a game, and a strategy guide for changing cartridges?
MegaMan goes into the basement to Dr. Light's lab, where he's watching TV.
MegaMan: Dad, can I have some money?
Light: Did you mow the lawn?
MegaMan: I was going to, but I had to save the world.
Light: I will not pay you to goof off! Get a job if you want money!
And so MegaMan ponders what kind of job he can get.
MegaMan: Maybe I can sell lemonade...
Cut to MegaMan at a lemonade stand.
MegaMan: Lemonade! Get your lemonade! Only 25 cents a glass!
Business is very good.
MegaMan: Well, I sold out. But it costs me 30 cents to make a glass!
I wish I had realized that before I ran the stand for a month. I need a different job...
Cut to MegaMan on a paper route.
MegaMan: Well, this is going okay I guess.
A giant wolf robot leaps over a fence and starts chasing him, spitting flames.
MegaMan: Maybe a paper route isn't a good idea in a town where 75 of the population builds giant battle robots. I need a new job.
Cut to MegaMan handing in a script to KI.
KI: This is terrible! You're a horrible writer, you're fired! This script isn't even good enough to be in the trash! I'm selling it to Fox!
MegaMan is at home depressed. He tries to get his mind off things by watching the new Fox show based on his script but that doesn't work.
MegaMan: I'll never get an N-Gage.
Suddenly he notices something in his room. It's a help wanted sign for a clerk at Gamestop.
MegaMan: Maybe I can get a job there!
MegaMan goes to his local Gamestop. The manager is yelling at an employee.
Manager: You placed our help wanted sign in a random house?
You're fired!
Employee: Fine. I'll go home and live off the money the bank stores in my house.
MegaMan: I saw your help wanted sign, can I have the job?
Manager: I don't see why not, other than child labor laws. You're hired! You start after the act break.
Act break.
Act 2:
It's MegaMan's first act on the job and he's working the counter. Someone walks up to him.
Customer: Do you have Super Mario in for Microsoft Playstation?
MegaMan: That system doesn't exist, but if it did it wouldn't have Mario.
Customer: STOP LYING! I'm the customer and I want you to make a Mario for Playstation!
MegaMan: But it doesn't exist!
Customer: YOU'RE THE GAME SELLER, YOU MAKE THE GAMES!
MegaMan: No I don't, they're made by many companies and they take years to make, I can't just create a game right here, and if I could I'd get sued for putting Mario in it!
Customer: STOP LYING! My little angel heard it from a kid at soccer practice, it's true!
MegaMan: I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave.
Customer: FINE! I'll purchase a game and then return it and yell at the clerk about it being violent and demand a refund somewhere else! How do you like THAT?
MegaMan: It sounds like you spared me a lot of annoyance.
Customer:...
MegaMan: PWNED!
MegaMan posts his story in LUE and then goes back to the counter.
Two customers walk in. We'll call them Fanboy X and Fanboy N.
Fanboy X is a Nintendo fanboy. Fanboy N is an Xbox one.
Fanboy N: This idiot says GameCube's better than Xbox.
Fanboy X: And this idiot says our current economic model is insufficient for working towards the greater goal of ending the gap between rich and poor!
Fanboy N: We don't need to fight over such trivial matters. We want this clerk to tell us which system is better! If you say what I don't want to hear I'll never shop here again.
Fanboy X: Yeah! Same for me!
MegaMan: I'm trapped! Oh well, it's just one customer.
Fanboy X: We each buy out every copy you have of every game for our respective system to boost its sales.
MegaMan: D'oh! WEll...um... the best system is... Phantom?
Fanboy X: Okay.
Fanboy N: Fine with me. Phantom is our favorite system, we were fighting over our second favorite.
They leave.
MegaMan: Whew! Dodged that bullet! And KI didn't try to turn this into an advertisement for his favorite sys/
A giant mob swarms in.
Mob: WE WANT SNES! WE WANT SNES! SNES IS THE BEST!
MegaMan: Well of course it is! There are SNES games for everyone here. (he turns towards the screen) Why don't YOU buy some SNES games too?
A subliminal message saying SNES IS THE BEST! flashes.
After the mob leaves MegaMan returns to the counter (why he left it is a mystery)
MegaMan: Well, this has been a pretty good first day on the job. I hope nothing ruins it like a stupid cliche where I run into an enemy who tries to mess up...
Dr. Wily walks into the store.
Act break.
Act 3:
Dr. Wily walks up to MegaMan
Wily: What are you doing here?
MegaMan: I'm working so I can buy an N-Gage.
Wily:... You'll suffer enough.
He leaves without bothering MegaMan.
MegaMan: I'm glad I'm not going to be bothered by any enemies...
Sigma's coming, isn't he?
Sure enough, Sigma walks in. But he simply buys the American Idol game and leaves.
MegaMan: Looks like I got lucky for once.
The manager walks in.
Manager: Good news! Gamestop was just bought by Sigma!
MegaMan: He bought a national chain since leaving the store a few seconds ago?
Manager: Yes!
MegaMan: I don't believe you.
Manager: Fine! He wrote me a check and I lied to him and told him he owned GameStop. He's coming in now, pretend he owns the store until I can leave the country.
MegaMan: Well, I'll never get another job if it gets out I wouldn't assist my boss with fraud so okay.
Sigma walks in and the manager leaves.
Sigma: I run this store now! We're going to make a few... changes.
MegaMan: Do they involve you sending someone to fight me?
Sigma: I was just going to put up some American Idol posters but that's a much better idea! You may win against Wily's employees, but it's time for you to fight one of my minions! Chill Penguin! Attack him!
Chill Penguin hops out of Sigma's cooler and attacks MegaMan.
Penguin: You have no chance of winning MegaMan!
Chill Penguinhits MegaMan with ice, freezes him, and slides into him. MegaMan is badly injured and they've destroyed thousands of dollars worth of games.
Sigma: Why did I have the fight in here?
MegaMan: You may be strong Penguin, but deep down I know I can win.
Penguin: You know you can win? I just thought I was going to win! I can't compete with someone who knows they'll win. AAAAAHHHHHH!
Penguin runs.
Sigma: Come back here you idiot!
But Penguin is gone.
Sigma: That's what I get for buying Safeway Select reploid brains instead of a name brand.
MegaMan: I won!
Sigma: I don't care! You're fired!
MegaMan: Can't I atleast have my first day's pay?
Sigma: No! All you can have is this box of stuff I couldn't sell.
MegaMan: You got here 5 minutes ago, you haven't tried to sell anything!
Sigma: Shut up and leave!
So MegaMan takes his box and leaves.
MegaMan: Now I'll never get money for an N-Gage. Hey wait, maybe...
He opens the box of the product no one wanted.
MegaMan: Hey, this box is empty! (he notices a price label on it) $99.99 for air? I can't believe all I got for my day of work is a cardboard box and air.
Someone walks up to MegaMan.
Person: Hey, is that a cardboard box with air in it?
MegaMan: Don't tell me you actually want this.
Person: Not really, but I have something I'll trade for it...
MegaMan: An N-GAGE! I'll take it!
Person: Wow, really? I've been turned down by 5 people when I offered this exact trade...
And so MegaMan gets his N-Gage. He goes home and plays it.
MegaMan: I traded a cardboard box for THIS?
MegaMan explodes into hundreds of pieces. Light walks in and sees the destroyed MegaMan.
Light: You bought an N-Gage, didn't you?
And so MegaMan learns a valuable lesson about managing his currency. Stay tuned for the next episode of MegaMan Jr. High.
MegaMan was reassembled a day later thanks to the GameStop cleaning kit he bought when he worked there.