It was a day like any other at MegaMan Jr. High.
MegaMan: I won't let you defeat me!
WindMan: I know, I wasn't really expecting to win in a battle just thrown in for the sake of showing a battle.
MegaMan: But all the battles are! Anyway, take this!
MegaMan blows up WindMan and goes back to class, shop with MetalMan.
MetalMan: Class, this school has recently been hit with a string of burglaries. If any of you have any information on who is behind this, don't tell anyone or I'll give you detention for tattling. And besides, we already have a suspect.
Cut to Shadow Moses.
Rock Monster: Did you steal from our school?
Liquid Snake: LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T KNOW ANY OF YOU!
Cut back to the class.
MetalMan: Anyway, get to work on your shop projects.
Zero: Why did he just pause for no reason? After saying they had a suspect he just stood there for a minute.
Roll: The metal's gone! Someone stole it!
MegaMan: This mystery keeps getting bigger and bigger. Why would anyone steal a random pile of metal?
MetalMan: Calm down everyone. We have a precedure for such an emergency. Everyone draw lots, whoever loses gets melted down into stock metal.
The bell starts to ring but gets cut off.
MegaMan: Now someone stole the bell!
MetalMan: I don't care, get out of this room! After class this room becomes a 2D metal themed obstacle course!
The class leaves. Wily walks up to them.
Wily: I was going to call an assembly over the intercom/
MegaMan: But it was stolen?
Wily: No, the auditorium was. This is getting serious, soon students might not feel safe here.
MegaMan: You've sent a robot to kill me atleast once every week!
Wily: Shut up! Anyway, MegaMan, I'm assigning you to figuring out this case.
MegaMan: Why do I have to?
Wily: I'm an evil dictator with dozens of illegal weapons and running the most dangerous, unlicensed school in the world, do you really think I want to get the police involved?
MegaMan: Fine, I'll solve this mystery, or the thief might steal our most valuable posession.
Roll: The school mascot?
MegaMan: Our supply of cliched plots!
Act break.
Act 2:
MegaMan sets to work on the mystery.
MegaMan: I have compiled a list of suspects. I will trail each of them to see if they do anything suspicious. My suspects are the first four people I run across in the hall.
MegaMan runs into Zero and follows him.
Zero: I need to get out of here, everyone here is acting like their sole reason for existence is doing stupid, unoriginal things.
MegaMan: Well, he didn't verbally state he stole the things in the 10 seconds I've been following him, I guess that proves he didn't do it.
MegaMan runs into Roll.
MegaMan: I can't picture Roll stealing anything, but running into me is suspicious.
Roll: I didn't steal anything!
MegaMan: What makes you think I suspect you?
Roll: You said that first part out loud.
MegaMan: Well it is suspicious, you made my suspects list.
Roll: I know how it looks but you have to trust me!
MegaMan: I can't imagine my method for choosing suspects being wrong, but okay I believe you didn't steal anything.
MegaMan moves on and runs into Bass.
Bass: My third suspect! I'll catch the theif before MegaMan does!
MegaMan and Bass trail eachother for hours. Finally they give up.
MegaMan: Then by process of elimination the next person I see is the the thief.
He runs into KI.
MegaMan: You're the one who has been stealing things!
KI: Why would I steal anything, I can get anything I want, this is my series! Look:
KI claps his hands and Mario appears and delivers him a pizza.
MegaMan: Fine, it wasn't you.
MegaMan goes home.
Light: MegaMan, you skipped school again!
MegaMan: Wily told me to solve the crime.
Light: That doesn't matter, how many times do I have to tell you nothing excuses ignoring your work!
The phone rings. Light answers it.
Light: Hello?... I don't care if my new robot is destroying your city, there was a Jerry Springer special on when I was supposed to test it.
MegaMan gets grounded and goes to his room.
MegaMan: I need to find the thief. Maybe Dad can help me.
MegaMan goes to where Light is watching TV.
MegaMan: Wait a second... there's a bell. And a pile of metal. And this isn't our usual auditorium! Oh no, Dad's the thief!
Act break.
Act 3:
MegaMan is in shock.
MegaMan: Dad's the thief! Should I turn him in? I'll go to him for advice.
He finds Light.
MegaMan: Dad, I have this problem. My friend... RockMan thinks his dad... Dr. Right stole things from his school. What should he do?
Light: Watch a show with forced morals that would never work in real life or parodies and do what the main character does of course!
MegaMan: Um... thanks.
MegaMan goes to his room and thinks the problem over.
MegaMan: I have to tell someone, otherwise the school burglaries will keep getting worse.
The next day at school MegaMan works up the courage to tell Wily.
MegaMan: I can't do it! I'll just let the problem escalate, I don't actually know what escalate means so maybe things will turn out okay.
Wily: The lock to my robot vault was stolen!
MegaMan: Oh no, now the school is in grave danger!
Wily: Actually the only thing I had in that vault was a vintage ROB. But it's stolen now! MegaMan, who's been stealing everything?
MegaMan: I can't let this go on any longer! It was... my dad.
Wily: I knew it! From the start I had a feeling it was whomever's name you just said!
They go to MegaMan's house.
Wily: Light, you've been stealing from my school!
Light: No, this is just a misunderstanding!
MegaMan: But you had everything that was stolen. You even have the ROB now.
Light: There's a perfectly reasonable, by which I mean completely ridiculous, reason I didn't do this.
MegaMan: What is it?
Light: Wily and I won everything that was stolen when we tied in a contest, I had all this stuff before.
MegaMan: But how come I never noticed it until now?
Light: It was out being cleaned.
Zero: OH COME ON!
Wily: I believe him. MegaMan, you get detention for not solving the mystery!
Light: And you're grounded for suspecting me.
Zero: And I'm not even sure why I'm here.
MegaMan: But then who did steal everything?
Wily: Maybe this mystery wasn't meant to be solved...
Cut to Shadow Moses.
Liquid Snake: The perfect crime. I got back at them for suspecting me. Time to play Gyromite!
And so, despite the fact nothing was recovered and Liquid could strike again whenever he feels like it, the burglaries are solved. Stay tuned for the next episode of MegaMan Jr. High!