Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.
I'm pretty sure that this chapter will be my longest one out of the others. There was just so much to say, I couldn't help but splurge . . . ya know what I mean? Quite a bit of flashbacks in this chapter . . . And I am happy to see that other people are enjoying my story. I'm not alone! Please do leave more reviews when you're done reading, they encourage me a lot!
Pieces of Me
Chapter 1: Lies
By: LadyYuina
Hisoka was sat at the dinner table with food placed before him. Though his parents mistreated him they'd never think of starving him . . . that would be murder. It would lead to eventual death . . .
In an almost too sweet voice, Ms. Kurosaki said, "after you're done eating go get cleaned up, you're awfully dirty."
"Yes, madam." Hisoka snuck some food into a napkin and hid it away from view.
Hisoka's mother and father were in many ways different when it came to their ruling over their only son. His father was more the gentler type in nature. He just occasionally ranted out some disappointments at him along with some minor beatings. Hisoka's mother did some pretty bad things but none that were life threatening. At every misgiving, failure and rejections she had ever received she'd blame it all on her son. Her anger truly scared him more than anything else.
Her crazy mood swings . . .
In the safety of the tub Hisoka relaxed his tired muscles. He knew what was in store for him tonight.
Father . . .
Hisoka slightly cringed when his father beckoned him over to the dojo they had that was at the side of their house.
"Put on your usual attire, it's time to do some training," he said.
Hisoka was more at ease with his father; his emotions were more detached and refrained for Hisoka to feel. Unlike his mother's which were always like a full blown tidal wave. Most times it hurt to be near her.
"Show me the stance," he commanded.
Hisoka raised his bokken, spreading his legs out in the proper measure required.
"Swing up and then down, smoothly now."
He did as he was told only to be whacked on the top of his head by his father's weapon. "That was sloppy, you can do better than that!"
"Sorry," Hisoka muttered.
"What was that? Speak up, boy!"
"I'm sorry," Hisoka said in a louder voice.
Small waves of disappointment washed over him, he knew that these feelings radiated from his father . . . Or, was it him? At times it was hard for the boy to distinguish his feelings from another persons.
"Now once more."
Hisoka literally trained all night with his bokken until his father was satisfied with his stance and swings. A weary Hisoka returned to the cellar with Mamoru awaiting him behind the large oak door.
"Meow."
Slowly, he bent over and scooped him up into his arms. Mamoru immediately started to purr. Hisoka liked the small vibrations that echoed from Mamoru's chin when his head was placed on his thigh.
--Flashback--
"Here, eat this," Hisoka said, thrusting food towards the kitten. It was a piece of meat he snuck from the kitchen when he was eating his dinner. The kitten merely turned its head away, eyes full of fear.
"You gotta eat something to survive, Mamoru!"
Once more Hisoka placed the piece of meat before his pet. Reluctantly he sniffed it but soon started to eat it. In just two swallows the meat was completely gone. Mamoru looked up at his Master, expecting more to be handed out.
"Sorry, but that was all I had left. I promise I will bring you more tomorrow."
"Meow."
The sand colored haired child was a little amused when he saw Mamoru try to get up but was forced back down when his legs gave way. Cautiously he reached a hand over and picked him up, rubbing the kitten's back as he was placed on his lap. Mamoru started to purr; as always.
"We're really alike, aren't we? But together . . . I believe that we can be strong."
--Flashback (END)--
The next say Hisoka was happy that he could spend some time with his friend, Satoshi. This apparently was the last time they were going to be able to see each other. Nearly all his friends were driven away with lies.
Lies. Liars bring nothing but pain . . .
"Where's your cat, Hisoka?" Satoshi asked.
"He's fine, he's sleeping right now so don't worry."
"And . . . how are you feeling today? Your mother told me that your condition has gotten worse. You do look awfully pale," Satoshi worriedly noted.
"I'm okay, there's no need to worry."
Lies . . .
"By the way, where are Mariko, Oto and the Nishi twins? I thought they were going to come over too?"
"They're all busy, we can play without them," Hisoka answered. From the look on his friend's face Hisoka felt like he wanted to do him in; beat him and shout in his face to accept what he was offered right now. Not of what could be . . . that possibility had been long gone . . .
"But . . ." Satoshi trailed off.
There was a gentle knock on the door and Ms. Kurosaki peered in. Hisoka could feel her eyes bore into the back of his skull as he didn't dare turn around to face her.
"How are you boys doing? I thought you two would like some chocolate cake and milk," she said a false cheery voice. Hisoka's mother's behavior disgusted him, he hated how his mother acted in front of his friends. Trying to be all sweet and innocent around them; but there was more to her than meets the eyes. So much more.
"I'll place these on the table right here, please help yourselves if you happen to get hungry!" Before she closed the door behind her she eyed her son briefly, a distasteful look was etched onto her delicate features. If she weren't so cold-hearted and awful to her son he'd have thought of her as a pretty woman instead of an old, ugly hag. Pain seared through him as his mother's emotions clearly shown through her disguise for a mere second that she stood by the doorway. Hisoka winced.
"You okay?" Satoshi asked, a frown marred his ever so cheerful features.
"I'm fine," Hisoka lied.
"You sure?" his friend pressed on.
"I'm fine!" Hisoka snapped. Large green orbs widened further as he felt a whiplash of confusion beat at his senses. A quick apology was issued. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell like that."
"No worries, I'm pretty sure you didn't mean to. But, boy, I do wish that the others could have come over; it would've been more fun."
That last sentence that Satoshi spoke stung at Hisoka, like a bee jabbing at you over and over. The pain only deepened. "Are you implying that I'm no fun?" Accusations were being pursued.
"No, no! I never said that! Sorry if you feel that way," Satoshi replied. "Well . . . what should we play first?"
Hisoka hated to admit it but he realized that he was becoming more bitter by the minute. The inclination of being no fun was one of the signs that he was truly heading down a lonesome road, heading down the road most likely alone. Not even Mamoru could compensate this misery he felt.
Liars only bring pain . . .
"What do you want to play?" Hisoka asked, none too happily.
Satoshi decided to ignore the foul mood his friend had just wished to explore. "How about that game board over there?" He pointed to one in the corner.
This amused Hisoka to no end; here he was in his room, surrounded by toys and games but he never got to use this again. This room wasn't even his room anymore, his place was in cellar . . . with Mamoru. Ever since the day his mother and father found out that he had empathy as a power.
--Flashback--
"Mommy, why are you sad?" Hisoka asked, his big green eyes looked up at her heaving form.
"I'm not sad, what makes you say that?" She immediately straightened her posture and wiped at her moist cheeks.
"You are. I can feel it," he continued.
"Feel . . . it?"
Hisoka nodded his head. "I can feel your sadness, it makes my head hurt, please stop."
"Don't kid around with your own mother, you know it isn't nice," she uneasily joked. She knew in her child's eyes that he was not telling a lie. The worst part of it all was that it was her own dearest son that possessed this so called empathy. One tragedy after another . . . When will it all end?
"I'm not," Hisoka reasoned. "I'm telling the-"
"Truth," his mother finished for him. Her entire demeanor changed as fear overtook her. She kept crying out, "not again, oh my god, not again!"
Mr. Kurosaki burst onto the scene wanting to see what all the ruckus was about. "What's the matter? Why are you screaming like a crazed woman?"
Fear, confusion and anger hailed down on Hisoka like acid rain. Clutching at his head he shouted, "please stop! Make the pain go away!" Within seconds he blacked out, the last thing he saw was the agonized look on his father's face.
When he finally came to he saw his parent mumbling to each other beside his bed side.
"Oh! Hisoka, you're finally awake! How do you feel?" his father asked him.
Hisoka's eyes traveled from his father to rest on his mother. She back away, crying out, "demon's child! By god, it's happened again!" Hisoka winced as her fear pelted down on his feeble mind.
"Rumi, darling, calm down. Hisoka is not a demon child, I'm . . . sure of it." Mr. Kurosaki placed strong hands on his wife's shoulders to reassure her.
"He is, I know it! He said . . . he said he can feel your emotions!" she cried hysterically.
"Mommy, you're hurting my head, please stop!"
"See! See! He is a demon's child!"
"It hurts," Hisoka complained.
"Hisoka . . ." His father's voice was barely audible. He reached out to touch his son but faltered.
--Flashback (END)--
"Hisoka, yo, are you with me?"
"What?" Hisoka muttered, snapping back to the present.
"You spaced out on me," Satoshi said. "For a moment I couldn't reach you."
"I'm fine."
"I'm fine? Is that all you can say?" Satoshi whispered. "I'm worried about you and all you can ever say is that you're fine? I wonder," sarcasm filled his every word, "perhaps you drove away all our other friends?"
"No. I'd never do such a thing!" Hisoka was completely stupefied by his friend's indictment. "What makes you say this?"
"Well, it seems like you're trying to drive me away. Perhaps your illness has gotten to you, goodbye Hisoka. I know this is the last time that I can see you, I wish you luck in life." He got up and walked out of the bedroom door. Hisoka was flabbergasted.
Liars only bring pain but the truth can too . . .
Before Hisoka knew it tears were streaming down his pale cheeks. As if on a time watch his mother coolly strolled in. "Oh, poor baby, your friend has just left. What did you two do?" she asked.
Hisoka simply cried harder when he felt his mother's emotions: they were of pure joy.
"Tsk, tsk, you're such a bad boy, you disgusting demon's child. No one loves you, neither I or your father . . . nor any of your friends. You drove them all away yourself!"
"That's not true!" Hisoka said defensively.
"Oh? Prove it."
"You . . . told all my friends that I was sick and lied to them all!"
"Indeed but it is not I that drove them all away; you did." Ms. Kurosaki crossed her fingers over her silky kimono. "You made them all go away. Besides, you truly are sick, feeling other peoples' emotions . . . that's not normal. A normal child of the age of seven can never do that!"
"I never wanted this power!" Hisoka argued. "I hate it!"
"There are a lot of things people hate, but you just have to deal with it. Like the way I have to deal with you! Your wretched father won't let me toss you in with the garbage!"
With the garbage . . .
Those words hit Hisoka like a ton of bricks. A mother willing to toss away her child was truly a sad thought. Immense pain ringed around inside his head but he didn't seem to notice. It was practically true . . . he did drive his friends away . . . The truth dawned on him.
--Flashback--
"Hi, Hisoka, your mother told us about your illness. You never told us that it was this serious," Mariko said. "And I also want to mention that Satoshi couldn't come today, something came up."
"What illness?" Hisoka asked. He knew his devious mother was up to something.
"Oh? You haven't even heard about it yet? Hideaki questioned. Hisoka shook his head.
"Maybe your mother didn't want to break the news to you too soon," Mariko added.
Confused, Hisoka asked, "what's my illness?"
"Um . . . she said you have a disease that has no known cure to man. She said we won't be able to see you anymore because eventually you'll be in intensive care at the hospital. She wants us to let you be so you will have the time to recover," Oto explained.
"What!" Hisoka could not believe what he had just heard from his friends' mouths. His mother was feeding them lies!
"We'll be here for you till that day comes even if our bodies aren't our spirits will be here to support you," Hidetoshi said. He placed a gentle hand on Hisoka who flinched away.
"She's lying! She always does!" Hisoka shrieked. His friends gaped at him, they believed that Hisoka was in denial of his own illness.
"Calm down, Hisoka. We know that you wouldn't believe it, that's why your mother didn't tell you yet," Mariko fussed. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you." Her voice sounded full of guilt.
"She's lying I tell you!" He knew this was futile. Wave after wave of pity swept over him.
"Hisoka," Oto whispered.
"Everyone get out!" They all threw him a confused expression but Hisoka continued to rant. "Everyone get out, I don't want to see you guys again! Don't even come near my house ever again!"
"Hisoka, you're just not feeling well. You can't really mean what you just said," Mariko hopefully said. She was on the verge of spilling tears.
"I have no illness! Can't you see?" In actuality, he didn't look convincing to his friends at all.
"You want us to leave now?" Hideaki asked.
"Yes! I don't ever want to see you all again! You're all making my head hurt, get away from me!"
Mariko started to cry, the other three lead her out of the room. After that Hisoka blacked out.
--Flashback (END)--
Hisoka collapsed to his knees as the truth finally resurfaced. He had hid it in the back of his mind, hoping to forget that nasty event. His mother had made it come back to him . . .
"Lies only bring pain but the truth can too," Hisoka whispered. "I'm awful. . ."