Disclaimer: I do not and will never own YnM, all the characters are the sole property of Yoko Matsushita. I'm merely borrowing them.

Used the Backstreet Boys's song, "Never Gone". I thought it portrayed the relationship between Mamoru and the poor, tormented boy perfectly. Last chapter for Hisoka. Tsuzuki's turn is up next.

Pieces of Me

Chapter 5: Never Gone

By: LadyYuina

"Hisoka. Hisoka wake up."

"Ugggnnnhhh, where am I?" Hisoka asked, groggily. His whole body ached and his cuts were stinging. Hisoka looked down when he felt something warm and heavy stir by his side; his mother's hand was clasped in his.

It was her dream . . .

"Are you badly hurt?" Hisoka's father asked. "Your mother was really worried."

Hisoka snorted. "I find that hard to believe." But . . . she is holding my hand. Hisoka quickly withdrew his hand underneath the blanket and away from his mother's somewhat affectionate hold.

"Your mother does have a heart you know," his father stated.

"So?" I'm sick of this crap . . . always hearing the same thing.

"You're becoming really bitter."

"You two made me this way," Hisoka spat.

His father sighed and asked, "does your wounds hurt? I bandaged you up and put ointments on the wounds. What happened to you? Where did you get all those strange cuts?"

"That's none of your concern," he mimicked, remembering the day his father used this exact same phrase on him. Hisoka smiled.

"It is my concern and I'm your father. Don't you dare talk to me that way!" he warned.

"I can speak to you whichever way I like. You're not my father . . . my real father isn't like you or her." He dejectedly point a finger at his mother.

"Hisoka, why are you being so difficult?' Mr. Kurosaki asked. "Just tell me what happened and we can resolve the issue."

Ignoring his father's requests he looked around the room. "Where's Mamoru?"

"He's still at the park, I would never bother to pick up that filthy thing."

"Mamoru is not filthy! He . . ." Hisoka trailed off. What he wanted to say never occurred. Mamoru never protected me . . . did he? "I'm going to get him!"

As he tried to get up he fell back down, pain seared through his body at every movement. Hisoka winced in pain.

"Don't strain yourself," his father warned.

"H-Hisoka?" he heard his mother drowsily say.

"What?" Hisoka smugly asked, as he scooted away from her.

"You're awake . . . are you okay?"

Hisoka rolled his eyes, he was hearing the same repetitive things and he was getting tired of it. Why should I listen to them? They're probably deceiving me somehow . . . "Why do you act as if you care for me now? Why is it, huh?"

Anger was surging through his mother and he could feel it. The pain in his head increased as her rage fused with his own.

"Why I never . . . If you wanted to be treated lowly in a poor state like this then so be it," she coldly replied. "Come on, Masahiko, let's leave this pathetic excuse of a son here to brood."

When they left the cellar Hisoka started to cry. For once in a long time they were actually worried about him but he pushed them away. I'm such an idiot. Events of last night only increased the self-pity he was feeling and the loss of Mamoru.

Mamoru, wait for me. I'll be coming for you soon.

I really miss you
There's something I gotta say . . .

"Mamoru, we were such good buddies, we're so alike in many ways. You've really led me to a pathway full of light. Without you, I would've entered the darkness a long time ago."

The things we did, the things we said
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again
You showed me how to face the truth
Everything that's good in me I owe to you . . .

Despite his injuries Hisoka managed to creep out of his cot. He silently slipped into the kitchen, scanning around for his parents. When the coast was clear he made his way to the front door to the outside world.

I'm definitely coming to get you . . .

Though the distance that's between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never separate us
Deep inside I know you are . . .

Like in his mother's dream Mamoru was lying on the spot where the cherry blossom he flicked off fell to. It just registered in his mind that perhaps that one cherry blossom petal was a sign to tell him in his mother's dream that Mamoru was gone. Flies were already swarming around the cat's body, Hisoka sadly stared down at him as tears trickled down his pale cheeks.

Looking around the area Hisoka found a suitable spot to bury his companion. It was pretty secluded. Without the help of a shovel Hisoka used his bare hands and tore at the grass.

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we have to say goodbye
I know you will forever be in my life
Never gone . . .

Painstakingly he dug a small hole, it wasn't big enough to place Mamoru in but he needed a break. Heh, this reminds me of her dream . . . Hanako and Mamoru . . . Hisoka's limbs were throbbing with pain; he knew he was pushing himself too hard. Children and adults alike that passed by merely stared at him, no one seemed to care for the demon's child.

A soft breeze blew by, Hisoka willingly accepted it's cool embrace against his hot skin. Cherry petals fell and littered the grass around him. He looked over his shoulder and picked one up that had landed there. The exact same shoulder that the petal had landed in the dream. The left one . . .

By nightfall, Hisoka had finally dug a hole that was large enough for Mamoru. He carried him over and placed the sand colored cat into it. A small prayer was uttered, the finishing line, "may you rest in peace."

I walk alone these empty streets
There is not a second that you're not here with me
The love you gave, the grace you've shone
Will always give me strength and be my cornerstone

He aimlessly wandered the streets, all tattered and dirty. Everyone stared at him as he limped his way around town. It seemed funny to him that no one dared to approach him, after all . . . he was just a thirteen-year-old boy. His birthday had just passed recently but who'd care anyway. But then again he wasn't normal. Hisoka's head throbbed with pain with all the emotions he was receiving, the worst one of all was pity. Whispers were heard among the people loitering the bust streets and sidewalks.

"Look at that boy, what is he doing?"

"He looks awful."

"Look at that boy, mommy!"

Hush dear, he might hear you!"

Maybe I should just die. It is why I went into town? To feel even more pain? It hurts a lot . . . Hisoka came to an abrupt stop when he spotted a sand colored haired cat to his side. It stared back at him with golden yellow eyes.

"Mamoru?" he whispered. Hisoka swayed unsteadily, it wasn't until he collapsed did the arrogant people of this cozy town come to his aid.

"Somebody call the ambulance!"

"On my! What happened?"

"He just collapsed . . ."

"The ambulance said they'll be here right away!"

"Mommy, look at his back."

"Hush dear, turn away. You don't need to see that."

Hisoka's shirt was unceremoniously lifted up when he fell on the pavement. Part of his cursed markings was shone to the world.

Somehow you found a way
To see the best I have in me
As long as time goes on
I swear to you that you will be . . .

Lights, they're so bright. It hurts . . .

On instinct Hisoka tried to shield his eyes with his hand but a nurse grabbed his arm and pushed it back down to his side.

"He's coming to!" he heard a woman's voice say.

"His blood pressure is still stable. Get more bandages, his wounds haven't stopped bleeding yet," said another.

"He needs to get cleaned up first, he's awfully dirty. Just look at him."

"Now's not the time for that, Dr. Ishikawa, are you that dense?" came a reprimand, it was the same woman's voice from before.

"Nurse Areba, please go to the cabinet and get more bandages and some towels!" Dr. Ishikawa ordered, getting back to full blown serious mode.

"On it!" she replied.

Hisoka was drifting in and out of consciousness, he had no clue what was going on except for the fact that his curse markings stung. The pain was overpowering.

By the time they managed to stop the bleeding Hisoka had lost a large amount of blood. A tube was stuck on his arm and blood was transferred in through it. When he fully came to a nurse in a pink uniform peered over him.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

Hisoka stared at her nametag. Ochira Mizumi. "Mizumi?" he muttered, it was loud enough for her to hear.

"Yes, that is my name," she responded. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine," Hisoka answered.

Nurse Mizumi let out a sad chuckle. "Are you sure? You don't look so good to me."

Something dabbed at Hisoka's cheek, he turned his head away. "Cold," he whispered. Instantly the cold object which felt like a damp towel was removed.

"I'm sorry," Nurse Mizumi apologized. She stared at the boy with pity. "But I need to clean you up a little, there's dirt all over your body."

Dirt . . . Mamoru. Yes, Mamoru!

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we have to say goodbye
I know you will forever be in my life . . .

"Mamoru!" Hisoka suddenly called out.

Perplexed, the nurse asked, "Mamoru?"

"My cat."

"Ah, how is he doing?" she asked.

"He's dead." Hisoka's eyes filled up with liquid but he refused to let them fall. Nurse Mizumi stared down at him, silence filled the entire room.

"Ahem, I'm sorry . . ."

Hisoka turned his head away. The expression the nurse had on her face unnerved him. But his head snapped back in her direction when there was a sharp knocking sound coming from the door.

"Come in," Mizumi called.

Never gone from me
If there's one thing I believe
I will see you somewhere down this road again . . .

"Right this way," Dr. Ishikawa ushered. To Hisoka's surprise his mother and father had come to see him. The doctor and the nurse promptly left the room, leaving the family to have time to themselves.

"Hisoka!" His mother cried, coming to his bedside. He cringed from her touch. "Look at you, you look awful!" Upon contact, Hisoka could feel her emotions of annoyance. This put a scowl to his pallid features.

"What are you scowling about?" Mr. Kurosaki asked.

"Why did you two come?" Hisoka asked. "I didn't expect this at all."

"We-"

Mrs. Kurosaki cut him off. "We came because the hospital called is and it'd seem strange if we didn't act concerned."

"So you're saying you're not worried?" Hisoka asked.

"Of course not, you don't deserve my love," she replied. Her brows creased further whe she glared harder at her son.

"Go away then," Hisoka said in a cold voice; devoid of emotion.

"Hisoka . . ." his father started.

"Be quiet, Masahiko!" Mrs. Kurosaki snapped. "Come, let's go." They left the room.

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we have to say goodbye
I know you will forever be in my life

Hisoka sighed, his life was becoming hectic. At the moment he felt as if he hated everything in the world, it was against him. He stared down at his soiled hands; underneath his nails were dirt. He started to sob uncontrollably as he thought of Mamoru buried underneath the earth.

From that day forth, his parents never visited again; neither had any of his friends showed up to see him once. Ironically, the lies that his mother had made up seemed to be true now, he really did have an incurable disease as the doctors liked to put it. Hatred for Muraki steadily grew as the years went on. On the third year of his stay in the hospital Hisoka finally passed away . . .

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are