The Super Smash Brothers' Dating Show!

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Long time, no see, eh? Well, 1st off, I must say that I, Katie, did in fact survive death camp. Err, I mean, band camp. It was alright, except our instructors did so love to yell . . . / And, the food wasn't half bad. Go mushy tater tots. XD Napoleon would be quite pleased . . .

Now, for my loverly reviewers! Whom I love! Which is why they are so loved!

CrypticElf : You're good luck blessing must've helped at band camp. Because it didn't truly suck. For that, I am thankful. Gives you a million cookies Eat up, friend! And yes, Bowser is just a tad odd . . . xD

Zephyr Analea Mewtwo's Amore : Well, I'm glad you still like it! Cookies for you

Blazing Fool : Hmm . . . I don't think band camp could be worse than boot camp . . . And it's great to hear you were 'released,' as well . . . XD Don't worry. The cookies were my treat.

Psie : Haha, yes, Peach + TV disaster. Yet, the real atrocity has yet to unfold . . . mwahaha . . . XD

Joeb : You should feel so honored to get a cookie. From myself, no less. XD And thanks for the purple explosive! It sure came in handy at band camp. The port-o-potties are awful. Something had to be done. ;)

Ickiakki : Haha, don't worry, I'll review any fic of yours. Just specify which one! ;) And thanks for the review! Hands over a cookie

Dr.Wilopolis : Heehee, I'm glad you enjoy the fic so far! Cookie for you!

py61388 : Don't worry, I'm updating! And I know who you are! AHAHA! Cookies for you, dear brother. XD

Now for a little blurby-wurby:

I have 190 hits for this story and only 11 reviews! Not that I'm complaining, it's just that I would oh so love more reviews. Questions, comments, even complaints; whatever. Just please be kind and review! Hooray! You'll get COOKIES! OMG! Everyone loves cookies! Yay for cookies:)

Now, onto the story, folks.

Chapter 3 of . . . The SSBM DATING SHOW!

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"Five, four, three, two, one . . ."

The countdown in the studio went by tremendously slow for Zelda, who was trying to smile above of the flashing lights and the crowd's noise level. With a final brush of her hair, she stood up from her plushy seat, preparing to introduce the show.

Breathing in deep, she talked above the audience, staring directly into the camera. "Hello, and welcome to The Super Smash Brothers' Dating Show!"

Slowly, the clapping faded out, giving the princess more opportunity to talk. And I mean, I doubt any viewers at home heard the little intro over the incessant screaming and cat calls. O.o

"Tonight's guest," started Zelda, who was currently putting on a fake smile, "hails from the beautiful Mushroom Kingdom!"

A few groans were heard from the crowd, already second-guessing the contestant. Ouch.

"Let's put out a warm welcome to, Princess Peach!"

The audience remained completely silent, aside from a few snickers. And Ganondorf's horrendously large pass of gas.

Coming onto the stage, our positively annoying princess waved to her 'people.' Giggling, she romped about the stage, earning creeped out stares from most everyone. And still, no one clapped. Another ouch. ;)

"Umm hello! I'm right here, everybody . . ." Peach called out, finally making it to her seat. "What, are you all zombies or something?"

Zelda felt a sweat drop, and quickly sat down. "Umm, yes, you're right there, Peach. And no, I don't believe security let in a bunch of dead people." Realizing how corny her last statement sounded, she coughed into her hand, blushing a light shade of pink.

The Hylian princess continued, weary of her words. And the pitied stares.

"So, Peach, what made you come onto the show tonight?"

Giggling, the pink-obsessed princess crossed her legs. "Well, Zellie, besides you calling me for the favor, I thought it would be sweet to be on television. I mean, millions of people are looking at me right now! ME! Haha!"

Link, who was standing behind the camera crew, muttered under his breath. "Not a very decent view, however . . ." Some of the workers heard his little comment, and nodded in agreement.

One perverted camera man quietly laughed, bringing up a very embarrassing moment in the show's history. Well, at least, it was for Zellie over there. "A decent view was that of Zelda, guys. Remember when Stan got bored shooting footage above the belt?"

This caused a few snickers, and Link to roll his eyes in recollection. The camera guy had gotten interested in Zelda's very short skirt during that show. Let's just say he shot some 'down south footage.' Ew.

But anyway, back to the blonde bimbo. I mean Peach. Not Zellie. Heh.

"Well," began Zelda, yawning, "isn't that interesting. I'd say it's time to go backstage to meet our mystery men!" She stood up, brushing off her shirt.

"OH, GOODY! I'M SO EXCITED! LET'S GO, ZELLIE! HEEHEE!"

Scurrying out of her seat, Peach began her mad dash to the backstage area.

Mewtwo, watching the whole thing, used his 'insanely awesome' mental powers to lift the overly hyper girl into the air, and down back into her seat. Then, he proceeded to gag her. So nice, isn't he?

"Um, thanks, Mewtwo," Zelda called out, scanning around for him. Turning to Peach, she stuck out her tongue. "Not you, silly, just me! I get to go back there, not you!" She skipped from her spot from the stage, and added in a sing-song voice under her breath, "Dumbass."

Unfortunately, her clip-on microphone picked the best time to work.

Right then.

The crowd hooted in laughter, pointing at the village idiot. Village idiot as in Peach, I might add. Poor little blondie. sigh

"Ophle . . ." the princess of mushrooms –and all things pink- choked under her gag.

Mewtwo read her practically empty mind. "That means, 'oh,' everyone."

"Ohh," the audience echoed, amazed at Mewtwo's capabilities. Either that, or they were to busy staring at the bound-up Peach. Not a very pretty sight, but hey. Whatever floats your boat, I guess . . .

"Mewtwo!" Zelda started walking back to the curtain. "Start the positively annoying voice!" (As in the stupid perky male voice you'd hear as an announcer in some idiotic game show. Heh.)

"You got it, Zelda. Hit it!" With a snap of his fingers, or like, whatever the hell those things are, the voice was heard.

"Ahem," boomed the voice, sending the audience to cower in their seats for a moment, "now for the announcing of the male mystery men!"

In the audience, Samus whispered to DK. "Uhh, why does he have to specify that they're 'male' after he calls the mystery men?" The gorilla grunted in return.

"Our first guest," continued the mysterious voice, "hails from the Mushroom Kingdom himself. And, he is a 1st class plumber, as well. What a difficult job he has, saving the Princess Toadstool from his nemesis all the time!"

Zelda rolled her eyes, thinking to herself. Why does he save her? I'd be the first one to throw her royal pain-in-the-ass off a cliff . . .

"Heeeere's, MARIO!"

The audience roared with applause, being an all-time favorite character within their city. Random screams of "I love you, Mario!" or "Streak for me!" were heard above the noise.

I'm sorry, but whoever wants tubby-man to streak is just plain insane. Either that, or obese themselves. XD

"So Mario," Zelda spoke, settling down behind the red screen, where the hero was situated. "Are you confident in winning this competition of love and loss?"

"I am-a, Princess. I am-a confident in-a winning my dear Peach's heart-a . . . again-a!"

"Well, there you have it, folks, good ol' Mario is here to sweep the girl off her feet! Good luck in tonight's show, Mario!" Standing up, Zelda re-adjusted her shirt. "I'm off!"

Mario waved a gloved hand at the Hylian beauty, secretly wishing she was the lucky female contestant. Woot. Go Mario! Get down with your bad self.

"As Zelda continues on to the blue screen," the voice said, "I will start to introduce our next male contestant!" Again with the male thing . . . ew . . . "He's known to be quite the charmer, if I may say so myself. Along with his dashing good looks, he's got speed on and off the race track. (umm ew?) Let's welcome, Captain Falcon!"

A handful of people clapped, and realizing they were the only ones, they slowly stopped out of humiliation. What a cruel and unusual punishment, no?

Zelda, remembering the day's earlier unwanted slap on the booty, carefully went in. Grimacing, she spoke. "So, uhh, Captain Falcon. Are your, err, happy to be here tonight?" Inching into her seat, Zel made sure not to turn her back on the pervert.

Flashing his crooked grin at the poor girl, he cockily piped up. "Aww, yea, baby . . . As long as you're here, you make my temperature rise!"

Just a tad freaked out, Zelda coughed. "Umm, you do know that the show tonight is to compete over Peach, right?"

The racer's face fell, but gained hope. "Oh shit. Well, she may be a few fries short of a happy meal, but, she's still damn fine!

Mario, being right in the next screen, heard the whole conversation. Jumping from his spot, the tubby plumber raced over to the perv and started to beat the living shit out of him. Once again, get waaay down with your baaad self, Mario. We love you! O.o

Zelda stood again, a tad scared. Letting a massive sweat drop fall, she grinned slightly and walked out of the scene. "I'll leave you two alone for a bit . . ."

Stepping over the brawl, and once again getting groped by Captain Falcon, she jogged over to the green screen.

Last contestant, Zel, she mused to herself. Then, back onstage with the moron. Hmm . . . moron, or brawls and unwanted groping? That really is a hard choice.

"Our last contestant is quite the shocker, folks!" The peppy voice shouted above the crowd's hoots and hollers. "He also seems to have some weird connection with toilet paper, and then some. I think you know the rest."

"Our last contestant is-"

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So how was that? Sorry if it may be lacking on the funny. But I promise the next chapter will have humor. At least, more that this chappie did. XD

Can you guess who the last contestant is? I'm sure you can. It's not that hard. ;)

Well, review, people. I'll love you forever. And ever. And past my expiration date. Heh.

R&R!

Signing off!