The Super Smash Brothers' Dating Show!
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Welcome back, dear readers! I am sooo sorry it took so long for this update! But guard's been a real pain in the a-hole. Heh. So I kinda broke my promise to update twice the week after my tremendous little escapade to the old, run-down church camp-turned-band camp. Yes, the place is called Pilgrim Park, and the conference center is nice, but that's about it. You know, an e coli infested pool, the dorm I stayed in that looked straight out of Auschwitz . . . yea. The works. But anywho, let's get to the reviews! Woot! I loooove reviews!
Dr.Wilopolis : Haha, I appreciate Fox's bold move on Ganondorf. The killing, I mean. XD He does deserve it, doesn't he . . . ?
Joeb : Well, I am a tad afraid of shooting myself; but I do guarantee that I love each and every single reviewer! To death! Hah! To death! I crack myself up. O.o
Ickiakki : I reviewed your story! It's awesome so far! Thanks for your review! n.n
Zephyr Analea Mewtwo's Amore : Oh yes, thanking is definitely in order for our overgrown feline friend! (Mewtwo, of course!) Ahh, do have fun throwing sugar. I do so love that pastime. XD
Andersonfanandadmirer : Shall the humor Gods be on your side? Hmmm . . . we shall see . . . ;)
Crocgirl13 : Ahh! A fellow guardist! Or whatever they call it . . . O.o And don't worry about not reviewing if you can't; I fully understand. I may have to take a break from this once the season kicks off:(
CrypticElf : True that, true that. (cell phone and toilet paper . . . shudder) Aww, thanks for the positive reinforcement. About the lacking funny. I'm glad I made you laugh!
Black Elfic Girl : Oh yes. I am a biiig Zelda fan. Heh. Thanks for liking my story so much! Kudos to you! n.n
That's it for the reviews! But let me say, and even though I do so hate to nag . . . 341 hits and only 19 reviews! Wow. I guess that's not half bad, though, considering when I first put this up, I had about 8 reviews for SEVEN chapters. I have 19 for 3. Woot. You people rock my face.
Back to the show, folks!
Chapter 4 of . . . THE SSBM DATING SHOW!
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"Our last contestant is . . ."
Whispering back and forth, the crowd all took their fair share of guessing the final mystery man. And let's just say some guesses were pretty out there. Like, in a galaxy far-far-away type of out there. Maybe some presumptions out-forced the Force.
Any who, let's leave Luke Skywalker and friends out of this, hmm?
Snares rolled wildly above the music, and the constant pitter-pattering was giving poor Mewtwo a migraine. And the high-pitched gurgles coming from Peach's gagged mouth weren't helping. At least the overly-perky princess couldn't hear herself, courtesy of the earplugs smashed firmly into her ears. Eh, Mewtwo.
As if on command, (or possibly, on actual command from our favorite Pokemon) the drum rolls ceased, and the audience looked up to the stage, were the humongous screen's flashing question marks faded out.
"As I was saying," the voice continued, clearing his throat, "our last contestant this evening is . . . Bowser?"
Some were stunned, others smirked because of their correct sentiments. And a tiny little voice screeched out into the silence.
"DAMNIT! HOW COULD I LOSE THIS BET! GODDAMIT!"
Shocked faces turned to see the small Ice Climber, Popo, angrily clawing at his seat. With his, umm, mittened hands. His sister, Nana, bonked him over the head with her large hammer. "Well, idiot, considering 'Tour Guide Barbie' isn't a smasher, I'd think you'd lose the pathetic bet, too!"
Snickers erupted around the feuding siblings, and Popo turned redder than a barefooted hillbilly with severe frost bite. Ouch. What a blow to his pride.
Once again, the crowd turned their heads toward the screen, to see Zelda's slightly confused face enter the green screen.
Sitting down next to the gigantic koopa, she cleared her throat and spoke. "Um, well, Bowser. This is, err, kind of out of character for you. To compete over the idio- I mean, Princess Peach! So, obviously, you wanted to be a part of this, but I have to ask for everyone out there . . . why?"
Sniggering, Bowser's fangs were in clear view, and he twiddled his thumbs. Pointy, claw-like thumbs, may I add. O.o
"Well now, Zelda, and lovely audience! Let me clear any and all confusion! I came here tonight because I get a free, quote, date, unquote, with Peach I win this thing. And of course I'll win. Because I'm Bowser. And I'm-"
Cutting him off, Zelda chimed in. "Getting of track, man . . ."
"Oh! Right! Anyway, like I was saying about the whole 'date' thing." He paused, getting a dreamy look in his eye. But yet, he still grinned evilly. Odd thing, isn't he?
"And when I win, I will kidnap her on our date! Then she will become my slave! And I will make her . . . bake me . . . her exquisite . . . peach . . . pies . . ." Drool started forming in the beast's mouth, and it cascaded down to the polished floor. It was also collecting in quite a large puddle, too. Eww.
"Peach pies . . . all day . . . (groan)"
Zelda scooted away from yet another contestant, getting up and looking into the camera. "Umm, yea . . . can we get a janitor in here, please?"
Exiting the site, she sighed. "Back to Peach!"
She dashed back to the stage, applause erupting upon her return. Wolf whistles, too. Ow-ow. XD
"Well, weren't those some interesting one-on-ones'?" Zelda smiled, talking above the group. "Very interesting, I say. Now, you guys know our mystery men for the evening! Here are their numbers . . . hit it, masculine voice!"
Once again, the mysterious, perky male voice was heard.
"Mario, behind the red screen . . . is Mystery Man Number One! Captain Falcon, behind the blue screen, is Mystery Man Number Two! And finally, Bowser, behind the green screen, is Mystery Man Number Three!"
Bits of clapping scattered about the studio after the announcement, but most of the crowd was twitching in excitement . . . or was it agony? Who knows. But an aggravated voice emerged from the back row.
"YEA, YEA, BUT I STILL WANNA KNOW WHY THEY'RE COMPETIN' OVER THAT SAD EXCUSE FOR A PRINCESS-"
"Uh, security?" Zelda called out from her big, poofy seat. (Must be pretty damn comfy. :P)
Two large, beefy German-speaking security guards came out of nowhere, motioning to the man. Speaking in one helluva Arnold Schwarzenegger accent, he yelled. "Please come with us, little man-"
"NEVERRR!" The man pulled off his ski mask, and it was none other than . . . Ganondork. I mean, Ganondorf. How predictable, no?
Running out of his seat, he pranced around the studio singing 'Born Free,' (which I do not own, by the way . . .n.n) But in his stupidity, he tripped over a chair. "NOOO! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! YOU HERE ME! NEVERRR!"
"Alright, girly-man, let's go." The guards grabbed him, shuffled over to the back door, and threw him out. Just like that. Poor Ganny.
Zelda, smacking her forehead, thought to herself. I really don't get paid enough for this job . . .
"So," the Hylian Princess turned toward the bound-and-gagged Peach, who was currently squirming on the floor. "Peach, are you excited!"
"Mphhfemmak!"
Nodding as if she understood the moron perfectly, Zelda continued. "I see . . . so how do you feel about this?"
The audience's attention was drawn back from the crazed super-villain to the princesses. "Ooo, ahh . . ."
Princess Peach, who's rolling on the ground stopped, mumbled. "Ihh . . .fraglict?"
The audience bursted into shits and giggles, not understanding a word the girl said. Well, I don't even really know what she said. Only Mewtwo, and possibly Zelda, who was still nodding.
"Riiight . . ." Smiling once again, Zellie turned to the camera. "Well, stay tuned, folks! We'll be right back after this well-needed commercial break!"
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(Commercials. . . what? Did you think that there wouldn't be any? Well, you're wrong, fool! Ahaha! Wrong, I say! O.o)
(A hillbilly voice is heard, cackling like a man on drugs. Heavy drugs. XD The voice is set to banjo music, and a green building is seen.)
"Yeehaw! Come on down to Yoshi's Round Up! Where the fun never stops! It just goes round, and round, and round, and round, and . . ."
Millions of multi-colored Yoshis pop up, dancing and humming to the music.
"Check 'er out today, ya'll!"
(Next Commercial)
(A local Kirb-O's Restaurant comes into focus. Puppet versions of Ness, Kirby, and Young Link appear from behind the counter.)
"We love our KIRB-O's! For they are good to US!"
(The puppets scarf down foot long sub sandwiches.)
"Please eat at KIRB-O's! Or we shall slaughter ALL!" n.n
(End Commercials)
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Zelda's slightly tired face came back to view, and the show started up again. "Welcome back, viewers! And if you missed the first part of our show, tonight's guest is Princess Peach! And you're watching . . ."
"THE SUPER SMASH BROTHERS' DATING SHOW!"
"Uhh, thanks, studio audience!"
"No problem, Zelda!"
Facing back to Peach, the princess grimaced. "Um, Mewtwo, do ya think you could possibly, well, I don't know . . . Untie Peach now!"
"But, Zelda-"
"I said now, Mewtwo!"
Cowering in fear of the princess's wrath, the psychic Pokemon mentally undid the idiot's bindings.
Giggling, the princess of all things pink ran around the stage. Ohh, pretty lights! Heehee!"
Zelda sighed, and grabbed the girl's arm as she flew by. "Peach, dear, it's time for the-"
"FIRST ROUND!"
Rolling her eyes, Zelda threw the girl into her seat. "Thanks, again, studio audience . . ."
"No problem, Zelda!"
The Hylian sighed again, softly, and sat down. Here we go, Zel, here we go . . .
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Heehee! Another chapter down! Shweet! XD
I thought this one was alright, and I hope you guys love it. And cookies for you if you guessed right on the last contestant.
And you might get even more if you guess what that second commercial was based off of! (Think a while back on TV)
Well, that's all for now, folks! R&R!
Signing off!