Episode 36: The Game Unveiling
It was another day at MegaMan Jr. High. Wily called an assembly.
Wily: School, I know you've been very excited about E3 recently (this show will hold up well to the test of time!). Especially since school was canceled since Sigma wanted go to see if there were any American Idol games coming out.
Zero: He cried/celebrated (How am I supposed to know if a new American idol game was announced?) for weeks... even though E3 ended just yesterday (as I said, timeless).
Wily: Well, be that as it may, (just popping in to let you know I'm through interrupting the dialogue) I have an exicting announcement for the school.
Roll: You're labeling the boxes containing water fountain water and clear poison?
Wily: I'm not made of labels! No, the excitement is over this school hosting its very own video game trade show! KI has put all his creative energy into thinking of a clever and original name, and here it is, E4!
MegaMan: Wow! A trade show coming to our insignificant little town that every celebrity and video game character has visited! What a rare and surprising event!
Wily: Yes, it's all very exciting. And you get time off school leading up to the show!
MegaMan: Really?
Wily: Yes! Instead, you'll be doing intense labor adults would have to pass a rigorous physical to perform. But you're kids, so those rules don't apply to you. Now start setting up!
5 days later.
MegaMan: Well, we built the area for the show. And we only had one injury, when Ceil took a drink from the water fountain.
Wily: I'm very proud of all of you! As a reward, I'm taking everyone's detentions away and giving them to MegaMan!
Everyone except MegaMan: Hooray!
MegaMan: Huzzah!
Wily: The show starts tommorrow, go home and get a good night's sleep, you haven't slept or gone home since my assembly 5 days ago.
And so everyone goes home. The next day they go to school, excited.
Wily: And no without further delay, a long speech from Shigeru Miyamoto before you can go in and see the games.
Miyamoto: Who are all you people? What's "E4"? Why am I even here? This is the last time I fly on an airline run by video games villians!
Miyamoto leaves. He leaves so quickly he forgets his pocket filled jacket. (FORSHADOWING IN PROGRESS!)
Wily: That was pointless.
Zero: Didn't you see the big bolded notice?
Wily: Anyway, it's time to start the show!
Act break.
Act 2:
MegaMan and his friends go inside for E4.
MegaMan: This is so exciting, I can't wait to try all the new games coming out... for N-Gage?
Wily: Did you honestly think any good games would be unveiled at a show hosted by a middle school? Now play some bad PS1 ports!
After playing horrible versions of Croc, Bedrock Bowling, and Bubsy 3-D the kids play the even worse N-Gage versions.
Zero: This is horrible!
Wily: What right do you ahve to complain? You got all this for free!
Zero: We did manual labor for 5 days straight!
Wily: Just test the N-Gages that only take 15 minutes to change cartridges and be quiet!
After hours of playing horrible games Wily steps up to the stage.
Wily: This expo has gone great so far, and it's going to get even better!
MegaMan: We get to preview the new Fox lineup?
Wily: Even better!
Zero: I'll bet my life it's some dumb new N-Gage game.
Wily: Prepare for the world debut of... Super Mario 128!
MegaMan: Mario 128!
Roll: Mario 128!
Bass: Mario 128!
Ceil: Micheal Jackson! I mean, Mario 128!
Zero: Well, atleast I bet something insignificant.
Zero explodes then instantly reforms (it was a tenth time).
Wily: And now, one lucky person in the audience gets to be the first to play Mario 128! I'll pick fairly. Everyone who's an evil scientist who runs a middle school set up to destroy your arch enemy and named after your arch enemy raise your hand!
5 people in the audience raise their hands.
Wily: Forget this, I'm playing it! I'm so exicted, I can't wait another second! But before I start, I'd like to point out that my expo did get a world exclusive! I clearly am of great importance to have been given the first public copy of Mario 128!
KI: Stop trying to make yourself seem important. You found it in Miyamoto's left behind jacket. Which I thought up! Me! Bow before the best writer ever!
Wily: Whatever, enough stalling! Even I'm not cruel enough to make people wait to see Mario 128 after so much time spent waiting. You'd have to be truly evil to delay the audience from seeing it. So here it goes! I'm putting the game in, I turned the system on! The screen is coming up! Mario 128 is/
Act break.
Act 3:
not a sequel to Contra. After that startling revelation, we get to see the premiere of Mario 128.
The title screen appears. Mario speaks.
Mario: It's a me, Mario! Welcome to my newest game! It's time to finally see it! Prepare to be amazed!
Zero: Is it normal for games other than Team Ninja ones to open by telling you how great they are?
MegaMan: Stop with the obscure references and listen to Mario!
Mario: Ahem. After that interuption, I'll continue. Press start to be truly amazed by my incredible innovation. But first, I'd like to say something about Super Mario Sunshine. YOU SHALLOW, FAIRWHETHER FANS! GROW UP AND REALIZE FLUDD IS JUST LIKE PREVIOUS POWER UPS! I am tired of all the unjustified complaints and will adress each one in/
Zero: Just push start!
Wily pushes start. The screen changes.
Mario: Welcome to level one! Prepare to be blown away by my newest adventure. The secret that was so well hidden is about to be revealed. The secret to Mario 128 is/
We're sorry, but due to technical difficulties the rest of this episode can not be shown. We instead bring you algebra with Tornado Tonion.
Tonion: Hello, today we'll discuss the substitution method/
KI: The shows fixed, the episode can continue.
Tonion: I still get payed, right?
KI: NO!
We now return to the show.
Mario: The secret to Mario 128 is... maybe some things just weren't meant to be know/
Zero: TELL US THE SECRET ALREADY!
Mario: Fine! Mario 128 is... a slot machine game! Instead of jumping and fireballs and enemies the game is 128 slightly different slot machines!
Wily: WHAT?
MegaMan: NO!
KI: Mario Sunshine triumphs!
Zero: I can't believe this. How could Miyamoto do this? And what made him think anyone would steal this idea?
Someone in the back of the audience jumps up.
Bubsy: YES! I saw it! I'll have Bubsy's Slot Machine Madness out months before Mario 128!
Bubsy runs off.
Wily: This is terrible.
MegaMan: Well, this is a crushing dissapointment. But I know what we can do.
Roll: What?
MegaMan: Make trolling topics on message boards! That will hurt Nintendo!
And so MegaMan and his friends become trolls. Cut to Miyamoto's house.
Miyamoto: Heh, I got back at them for trying to kidnap me. Leaving that fake disc behind. No one's seeing Mario 128 until I'm ready. I'm sure they'll realize the game was a decoy eventually. Who could be stupid enough to think that was real?
5 months later.
Bubsy: Buy my new incredible N-Gage game, Bubsy's Slot Machine Madness!
And so E4 passes. Stay tuned for the next episode of the newly renamed OMG nintendo iz teh suck, look wut they did 2 mario!1111 Jr. High.