Episode 37: The Fanboy Hunt
It was another day at OMG nintendo iz teh suck, look wut they did 2 mario!1111 Jr. High. The characters finally listened to Zero and realized Mario 128 wasn't really a slot machine game and changed the school's name back.
MegaMan: Well, it's back to the new or "classic" school name. I'm sure everyone appreciates the show name much more now.
Cut to KI.
KI: ARGH! I've gotten 1,000 hate letters for changing the name back! That's the last time I advertise on the Next-Gen board!
Cut back to MegaMan.
MegaMan: Well, things are back to normal.
Zero: Yeah, I'm glad this show isn't bashing Nintendo mercilessly anymore. They're a pretty good company.
Wily: WHAT DID YOU SAY? That's FANBOYISM! We need to take action!
Cut to an assembly.
Wily: It has come to my attention that some students at this school have voiced a positive opinion about a game company!
Audience: GASP!
Wily: This can not continue! Soon people won't be afraid of being labeled, rock and roll will take over the world, and McDonald's will cancel the Adult Happy Meal! We have to do something.
Zero: What about free speech?
Wily: FIRST AMENDMENT FANBOY! One more comment like that and I'll have you jailed like that guy who revealed his favorite ice cream flavor! Having a positive opinion makes you an evil fanboy! Lving in a constant state of fear and opression is a small price to pay for in theory reducing biased posts on message boards!
MegaMan: We have to do something!
Wily: I have a plan. We must organize a code that if anyone breaks they will be instantly labeled and punished.
Zero: This is turning into a witch hunt!
Wily: Quiet or I'll have you burned at the stake!
Zero: This isn't good...
Act break.
Wily: ACT BREAK FANBOY!
Act 2:
Wily: As I was saying, we must write rules and enforce them!
Roll: Should our school president help?
Wily: Nader's been missing ever since he tested those dissapearing platforms. What we need is an army to enforce our laws of unbias! Anyone who breaks them will be punished with extreme bias!
Wily claps his hands together.
Wily: That got the fly.
Wily snaps his fingers. An army of robots appear.
GrenadeMan: We are here to protect you! Opression is freedom. Fear is security. Laughtracks are funny.
Wily: Everyone go home, when you awake we will be living in a new, secure world!
Cut to the next morning. MegaMan wakes up.
Wily: He's waking up! Quick, turn on the new world!
Wily flips a switch. Sentry robots appear guarding every street. Hidden microphones appear in every house.
Zero: This is ridiculous!
Wily: That sounds like fanboy talk to me! Speaking against our system is considered an act of fanboyism!
MegaMan goes to school. The classes are completely different then before.
MegaMan: The classes actually last more then a few minutes!
MegaMan goes to his first class, propaganda with DustMan.
DustMan: You, the youth of Rockman City, must be trained to grow up not to be fanboys who force your opinions on other people. To do this, we'll force opinions on you first! Now repeat after me:
MegaMan Jr. High is a quality show.
Class: MegaMan Jr. High is a quality show.
DustMan: If you dislike it, you are a fanboy of competing shows, whatever they are.
Class: If you dislike it, you are a fanboy of competing shows, whatever they are.
DustMan: You must watch every single episode of MegaMan Jr. High!
Class: Highlight, copy, paste.
Zero: This has gone too far! We have a right to opinions, we can like things if we want to! I like some things more than others, and you can't stop me!
Cut to Zero locked in a maximum security prison.
PunMan: It's too bad they locked you in this prison with characters that were banned from the show. You must feel like a real... zero!
LaughtrackMan: LOL!
Zero: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Act break.
Act 3:
Zero: I need to get out of hear!
CoherentPlotMan: There's no way out, everyone banned from this show is stuck here forever. There's no way out from the inside.
Zero: How about the outside?
CPMan: Oh, you can unlock the doors from there by just turning the knob. But who would come to rescue us?
MegaMan and his friends burst in.
MegaMan: We're here to free you, PunMan!
Zero: Free me!
MegaMan: But you acted like a fanboy, you deserve to be locked up here.
PunMan: Yeah, don't do the crime if you can't do the... um... hang on I'll think of something... hard time!
Zero: That was pathetic.
LaughtrackMan: LOL!
Zero slices PunMan and LaughtrackMan into pieces.
Zero: Well, things are better now but I still need to get out of here! MegaMan, overcome your brainwashing! (Zero becomes possed) Although it is nice to have a clean brain. LOL! (Zero shakes off the possession and throws the powers he absorbed out the window)
MegaMan: I'll think about it.
MegaMan leaves. It's the next day. Wily has called an assembly.
Wily: Our new show order has worked perfectly! We've stomped out the biggest threat in history, fanboyism.
Roll: But I think I saw a troll the other day!
Wily: Trolls? Don't be paranoid, let them have their opinions!
MegaMan: Since fanboyism was wiped out, can we free Zero?
GrenadeMan: NO! He's the last carrier of it, we only have one option, however grave it may be. (his lips go out of sync with what he's saying) Leave him in jail.
Roll: Not capital punishment!
Bass: What?
MegaMan: Stupid censors. Anyway, we have to end this witchhunt!
Wily: Fine, but I'm not loosening up on the fanboy hunt.
MegaMan: End that to!
Wily: I won't! It's of incredible importance! Nothing can change my mind! Nothing! Except deafeating GrenadeMan.
MegaMan: Then that's what I'll do.
GrenadeMan: Wait, I don't want to fight, I'm a pacifist!
Wily: Well, your name was very misleading. But a deal's a deal, the fanboy hunt is over and Zero is free!
And so ends another day at MegaMan Jr. High. Stay tuned for the next episode or I'll bring back PunMan and LaughtrackMan.